Oral Sex 101: Tips for Great Oral!

Oral sex… *Sigh*

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had a man boast that he is awesome at going down. He raves about the compliments he’s received in the past. But, when he starts pleasuring you, it either feels like a beaver gnawing on your privates or like a Dyson has locked on to your clit! Or for you guys, there’s the girl who boasts of her skills in sucking dick. But when she’s down there, she barely moves her lips and throat around your shaft, and mostly uses her hands. Or, she really sucks… like s Dyson has locked on to your dick!

I know that everyone likes something different when it comes to getting off. Maybe you like the above oral sex techniques. I’m not judging… But, listen up all you Dyson-mouthed folks! When done with some skill and attention, oral sex can be a much more amazing experience than the ones I’ve had above! So, here are my tips on how to give great oral sex…

These tips are for everyone:

1. Start fresh! A shower can go a long way in making oral much more pleasant for the giver! And if you’re receiving the oral, being clean will make you more comfortable and at ease.

2. Communicate! Tell your partner up front what you like and don’t like. During the oral, give encouragement or softly spoken suggestions. Moaning and groaning works, too!

3. Reciprocate! Reciprocate! Reciprocate! If you don’t like to give, it really discourages your partner from wanting to give. So, do unto to others as you would have done to you!

 

If you’re going down on her:

1. Slow down! It’s not a race! Warp speed tongue action does nothing but frustrate the average women. And most likely, a steady build will create a much more intense orgasm for her.

2. Don’t munch the rug! Teeth are ok… but that means a little nibble here or there. Repetitive gnawing is not really a pleasurable feeling for most women.

3. Yes, sucking on my clit is a pleasurable feeling… when done lightly! Don’t go all Dyson on me!

4. Don’t like to go down because of the “taste”? Well that’s not fair. Consider using a flavored lube and get to licking! Not only will it taste good to you, it actually enhances the feeling for me.

5. Apply a little pressure. Light licks will tease me. Mixing in firmer licks will get me there.

 

If you’re going down on him:

1. Take him deeply into your mouth and stroke up and down, allowing him to feel the back of your throat. I know this seems basic. But, many of us who give blow-jobs end up focusing solely on the head of the penis. That can be too intense or frustrating for a man. Think of your mouth as a vagina. How would a man use his penis in vagina? Would he just poke the tip in repeatedly? NO! He goes all in and then almost all out. Do the same with your mouth!

2. Don’t be a Dyson. Lightly sucking, yes. Creating an oral vortex, no. Sucking dick doesn’t mean literally turning your mouth into a vacuum.

3. Try a little flavored lube. If you’re like me, sometimes your mouth gets dry. A dry mouth is no fun for anyone. Using lube will keep the moisture up and the friction down.

4. Some guys like a little teeth. Gently graze the back side of his shaft with your teeth. But, don’t go all cheese grater on him!

5. Use your tongue. Running the tongue along the back of his shaft and the head of his penis adds that extra wow factor. Also, using your tongue to gently apply pressure as you move up and down can create a tighter feel for him.

 

Read these tips! Study them! Master them! Don’t be that person who boasts of your skills, but disappoints in the bedroom. Don’t be the beaver gnawing away or the Dyson set to VORTEX. Just don’t. 🙂

 

Say WHAT? 10 Strange Sex Laws You Won’t Believe!

I’m sure I’ve broken a few laws during sex – laws of nature, laws of physics, laws of thermodynamics… Hell, this girl can get really freaky when she feels like it. But, there are some pretty crazy laws in various states that could actually land you in jail! I’m pretty sure I’ve never broken any of THESE laws… Maybe you have?

CALIFORNIA – Anyone having intercourse with Satan must use a condom… Well, best to play it safe with SATAN! You don’t know who or WHAT he’s been having sex with down there in Hell…

FLORIDA – Sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal… Uhm, ok. Wouldn’t that hurt? And besides, there are other kinds of pricks in this world!

GEORGIA – It is illegal to purchase or possess marital aides (vibrators, dildos, etc.)… OOPS! We’d be in trouble! Major, major trouble. I guess there are some things I am willing to go to jail for…

ILLINOIS – Nuzzling or kissing a reptile is prohibited… Well, stay away from the players at the bar because they tend to be total snakes…

PENNSYLVANIA – It is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth… I just wonder if you have to pay for that in exact change…

KANSAS – Anyone caught engaging in anal sex draws a maximum sentence of six months in jail… Hmmm… What If you were in jail when you got caught?

VIRGINIA – It is illegal to copulate in any position except missionary or have sex with the lights on… Oooh! Be a rebel and have sex doggy style in the dark, because that’s so sick and twisted *eyeroll*…

WEST VIRGINIA – It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs… UHM, say WHAT?! As if a smaller animal makes it any better…

ARKANSAS – Moose are not allowed to have sex on city streets… Well, you’re damn skippy they shouldn’t! Who wants to see that?

RHODE ISLAND – Oral sex is considered “abominable, detestable crime against nature,” and such activity brings a 7-to-10-year stretch in the penitentiary… Shit. Sometimes when I am down there, it FEELS like a 7-to-10-year stretch…

 

So, if  you feel like breaking any laws, you BETTER make it worth it! Hit up the RedDoor before you commit the crime and go down with a blaze of sexy glory!

The Business of Ohs

When people find out what I do for a living, they have two reactions: “OH, er, uhm…” or “Ohhhh! That sounds like a fun job”. And to be honest, my job is FULL of oh’s… So their reaction is fitting. But, you may wonder what it’s actually like to work in a sex shop. I bet that based on those two reactions, you have the wrong idea.

Let’s address the first kind of “OH”. That’s the reaction I get from folks who are sketched out by sex… the ones who are scared to talk about it out loud. That’s the response I get from people too embarrassed to actually shop in person at a sex store. And therein lies the misconception that produces that kind of “OH”, the wide-eyes and awkward moment, dropped like a lead balloon on my feet kind of “OH”. It’s ok to be private about your sex life. I’m not saying that you should be wildly open about it. But sex itself, or working in a sex shop, should in fact NOT be embarrassing or awkward. They shouldn’t be because sex is a natural thing. It’s a wonderful thing when shared between two people who care about each other. And even if they don’t care about each other, it can still be a tremendously fun activity. Finding ways to please yourself and/or your partner should not be a bad thing. Helping you discover those ways is part of my job. It actually makes me feel good to help you feel good. I find it fulfilling. So do my coworkers.

And what about that second kind of “Ohhhhh”? Well, yes, it is a fun job. But, it’s not ALL fun and games. I take it seriously. Many people come in because they don’t know how to achieve pleasure. They are unhappy in their sex lives and really want help. That’s no fun for them at all. Those kinds of situations require more tact and sensitivity than fun… Or they come in because they have erectile dysfunction… Or they’ve had a female or male related cancer and are experiencing issues with sexual intercourse. Those are delicate situations that I don’t handle with fun. I handle them with compassion and care. The bottom line is that you encounter so many types of people, with a huge variety of desires, needs, and wants. You can’t always assume that it’s all fun and games.

It’s a very HUMAN job, where people are open about their most basic needs, wants, and desires. We’re dealing with such a private aspect of our customers’ lives. We want everyone to feel comfortable in our store – whether they are in happy or unhappy, open or closed,  or worried or secure in their sex lives. And yes… it is often fun, because sex SHOULD be fun and enjoyable. So, let’s throw those other “ohs” out the window! Let’s focus on “ohs” I like to hear… because in this business, we’re definitely about the o’s…

Tips for creating a porn-worthy sex life!

Let’s face it… most of us don’t have porn-quality bodies or sex lives. We need to lose weight and don’t get enough sleep. We’ve got kids or family obligations to take care of. We get sick or just don’t feel our best. We’re busy people with busy lives. We don’t always have time in the day for sex, much less high quality sex. Sometimes, it’s a quickie or nothing at all! Plus, we get bored or stuck in a rut in the bedroom. And honestly, sometimes sex becomes a chore…

But, it doesn’t have to be that way! In fact, it doesn’t take much to make your sex life more exciting. A little extra effort can pay off in big ways. Want to have more porn-worthy sex? You can spice it up a little at a time with these tips:

1. Make intimacy a high priority!
Porn stars have sex at the drop of a hat. And while you might not be able to, seize any opportunity you may have. Make time for sex and don’t let it become a chore. Can’t regularly get it on for any number of reasons? Then at least schedule some intimate time with your partner during the week, even if just to cuddle and make-out. The closer you are physically, the more likely you are to be interested in sex.

2. Show enthusiasm!
Porn stars are noisy. Why? It’s a turn-on for both of you AND ego-boost for the one doing the pleasing. Plus, by letting your partner know you are pleased, you will make them want to please you even more. Moan and move! Get into it! Don’t just lay there quietly like a corpse… Let them know you are enjoying yourself!

3. Speak up!
Porn stars are bossy. Maybe you noticed that they order their lovers around. Touch me here. Do me there. Spank me. Lick me. Harder. Faster. Softer… Do the same in your own sex life! Tell your partner EXACTLY what you want, and how you want them to do it! This is especially important if you don’t like something they’re doing. If you don’t speak up, they’re going to keep making the same mistake… and that’s no fun at all!

4. Set the scene!
Porn stars don’t just have sex in the bedroom. They have sex everywhere – by the pool, in offices, during slumber parties for crying out loud! Create your own fantasy scene at home by having sex somewhere else in the house, like the kitchen or your home office. Need to keep things confined to the bedroom? Then, buy those satin sheets! Dim those lights! Light those candles! Line up those toys! Make your bedroom your fantasy love-making spot.

5. Role play!
Porn stars rarely play themselves. They’re always acting out a scenario – coed and professor, plumber and housewife, masseuse and customer. Think about it… Isn’t it always some situation where complete strangers suddenly get it on? So get into character! Pretend you are the special delivery boy or that she is the naughty nurse! Pretending to be someone else can lower your inhibitions and make sex more exciting. Plus, it’s like getting to have sex with someone new!

6. Use enhancements!
Male porn stars can go all night and repeatedly get it up. Female porn stars orgasm just after a few pokes. We, the average masses, are not like this at all! So what can you do to make things more porn-like? No need to fake it or feel like you don’t measure up… Guys, you can try enhancement supplements or creams. These enhancements can create more hardness and girth, help delay ejaculations, and can even help you get it up repeatedly! We even carry sleeves to help you with length. And, we carry plenty of toys to help fulfill her double penetration fantasies… Girls, don’t be ashamed to use a toy to help you orgasm. We also carry enhancement supplements and creams for you. They’ll help make your lady parts more sensitive to touch and stimulation, making it easier for you to orgasm.

Whether you try one or all of our suggestions, sex should be something you enjoy. Don’t see something you like in our tips above? Try one of your own ideas! Keeping your sex life fresh and exciting with your partner is the main priority. Got a suggestion for us? Send us an email and maybe we’ll feature it on our blog!

Solo Time: Tips for pleasing yourself

Whether you’re single, or just need a little alone time without your partner, masturbation is a good way to release some sexual energy. Aside from being fun, masturbation has also be proven to be good for you! And, it’s never a crime to be good to yourself… Masturbation can boost your immunity, relieve stress, help with sexual function, and may even reduce risks of cancer. So in honor of self-pleasure, here are tips to make your solo time very satisfying!

FOR HIM:

Try a masturbator… It’s not be the real thing. But, mastubators are still fun, snug, and feel great! And, you get to have faux oral, vaginal, or anal sex with any number of porn stars. We even carry fantasy styles, if you’re feeling particularly freaky!! Check out our selection here.

Use a warming lube in your hands or with a masturbator for a more lifelike, enhanced feel… The warm sensation adds to the realism and feels great on your penis. Check out our selection here.

Try watching a POV porn… Shot at a realistic angle for a fantasy feel, these pornos make you feel like you are part of the action. Pair the POV porn with a masturbator to match the action and you’re set!

Use nipple clamps… Your nipples are full of erogenous nerves. Stimulating them feels great. Plus, the extra pinch will intensify your climax! Check out our selection here.

Try an anal plug… Stimulating and applying pressure to the prostate with an anal plug can provide INTENSE orgasms for men. Check out our selection here.

Squeeze your balls… That’s right. Gently (or firmly) squeeze and tug down on your own balls right before you climax. This will also create a much more energetic and intense climax.

FOR HER:

Get to know your clitoris… 80% of women need some clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. The best way to master the clitoral orgasm is to be hands-on! Using a good lube and your fingers, stroke your clitoris with the speed and pressure that feels right for you. Don’t want to use your hands? Try stroking a vibrating toy against your clitoris for maximum please. Check out our selection here.

Get to know your g-spot… applying pressure to the g-spot will create a much more pleasurable experience and can intensify your orgasm. Try using a vibrator that is specially designed to rub against the g-spot. Check out our selection here.

Use a quality lube… Lube on your clitoris, as well as a toy, will create a more sensual experience. Try a warming or cooling lube for even more heightened sensations. Check out our selection here.

Get in the mood… Try reading some of our erotica, or watching a little porn, to get you turned on. Either will enhance your mood and will help you to create a fantasy you can pleasure yourself to. Check out our erotica here.

Give anal a try… An anal toy or plug puts pressure on the vaginal wall and will greatly intensify your orgasm. Not to mention, the anus is packed full of erogenous nerves endings! Check out our anal toys here.

Hit the water… the warm sensation of a bath or shower goes a long way in relaxing your body. A relaxed body will make it easier to achieve orgasm and can make your climax stronger… and it also feels sensuous to have the water against your skin. Want to use a toy in the bath? Try one of our completely water-proof vibes such as the We-Vibe 3 or the Form 2 by Jimmy Jane.

It’s All About Kegels!

What are the kegel muscles?

The term “Kegel muscle” is used to refer to the muscles of the pelvic floor, the pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles). The PC muscles hold your pelvic organs in place, control the flow of urine, and also contributes to sexual pleasure during intercourse. How? PC muscle are also responsible for the contractions you feel during an orgasm.

How do I find my kegel muscles?

To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream. If you succeed, you’ve got the right muscles.

How do I strengthen my kegel muscles?

You can strengthen you PC muscles by using ben-wa balls or simple exercises. Exercises should be done multiple times a day for maximum results. Keep reading to found out how!

What are kegel exercises?

Kegel exercises are the repetitive tightening and relaxing of the PC muscles.

Why should I do kegel exercises?

Kegel exercises won’t actually tighten your vagina. But, they will tone and strengthen your vaginal muscles, which can increase your ability to be aroused. Kegels will also create a tighter grip during intercourse. They can also help intensify contractions during orgasm, because they send more blow-flow to your nether regions!

HOW TO DO KEGEL EXERCISES:

STEP 1 –  Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles, empty your bladder and lie on your back. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for five seconds, and then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.

STEP 2 – For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.

STEP 3 – Repeat 3 times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.

HOW TO USE BEN-WA BALLS:

STEP 1 – Insert one ball at a time. Putting lubrication on the balls will help them glide in. Women have said that inserting the balls is similar to inserting a tampon. If you’re having trouble, you should lift one leg up. If that doesn’t work, try inserting them while lying down.

STEP 2 – Squeeze your leg muscles together and then your pelvic muscles together to hold the balls in. The balls should push down a little bit inside your vagina, and they will make your vagina feel “full”. Much like tampons, you should eventually get used to the feeling.

STEP 3 – Hold the balls inside for at least 15 minutes a day to strengthen your PC muscles. You can hold them in for hours for a better workout.

Visit us online at www.thereddoorstore.com for Ben-Wa balls and more!

The Clitoral Truth…

The Clitoral Truth: Facts every woman (and man) should know!

Wow. You don’t know how many people I have encountered who do not know what a clitoris is… OR what to do with it!! It’s SUCH an important part of a woman’s sexual pleasure. And because it’s so important, I’m dedicating a blog to educateing and enlightening you about the clitoris!

FACTS:

• The clitoris is a small bud-like formation that is located slightly above the opening to the vagina.
• Clitoris size and shape differs from woman to woman, but it is generally between 1/8″-3/8″ in size.
• The clitoris is the only human organ designed purely for pleasure, and no other reason.
• The clitoris is equivalent to the penis; it’s packed with nerve endings & becomes engorged when she’s aroused.
• Because the clitoris is like a penis, a woman almost always needs some sort of clitoral stimulation to climax.

VITAL INFO: 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Penetration isn’t enough on its own.

TIPS:

• Consider pleasing her FIRST. Since most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, foreplay is a must!
• When pleasuring the clitoris manually or orally, go slowly and use lots of lube. Slow, steady, gentle, repetitive strokes will create a much more intense orgasm.
• For extra sensation, use a clitoral pump or a clitoral stimulating gel to increase blood flow.
• Positions for maximizing clit stimulation are girl on top and rear entry. Both provide access to the clitoris for either manual stimulation or vibrator stimulation. Check out our clitoral vibes here!
• Remember… Every woman is different! Talk to your partner about what makes HER happy and go from there!