The Business of Ohs

When people find out what I do for a living, they have two reactions: “OH, er, uhm…” or “Ohhhh! That sounds like a fun job”. And to be honest, my job is FULL of oh’s… So their reaction is fitting. But, you may wonder what it’s actually like to work in a sex shop. I bet that based on those two reactions, you have the wrong idea.

Let’s address the first kind of “OH”. That’s the reaction I get from folks who are sketched out by sex… the ones who are scared to talk about it out loud. That’s the response I get from people too embarrassed to actually shop in person at a sex store. And therein lies the misconception that produces that kind of “OH”, the wide-eyes and awkward moment, dropped like a lead balloon on my feet kind of “OH”. It’s ok to be private about your sex life. I’m not saying that you should be wildly open about it. But sex itself, or working in a sex shop, should in fact NOT be embarrassing or awkward. They shouldn’t be because sex is a natural thing. It’s a wonderful thing when shared between two people who care about each other. And even if they don’t care about each other, it can still be a tremendously fun activity. Finding ways to please yourself and/or your partner should not be a bad thing. Helping you discover those ways is part of my job. It actually makes me feel good to help you feel good. I find it fulfilling. So do my coworkers.

And what about that second kind of “Ohhhhh”? Well, yes, it is a fun job. But, it’s not ALL fun and games. I take it seriously. Many people come in because they don’t know how to achieve pleasure. They are unhappy in their sex lives and really want help. That’s no fun for them at all. Those kinds of situations require more tact and sensitivity than fun… Or they come in because they have erectile dysfunction… Or they’ve had a female or male related cancer and are experiencing issues with sexual intercourse. Those are delicate situations that I don’t handle with fun. I handle them with compassion and care. The bottom line is that you encounter so many types of people, with a huge variety of desires, needs, and wants. You can’t always assume that it’s all fun and games.

It’s a very HUMAN job, where people are open about their most basic needs, wants, and desires. We’re dealing with such a private aspect of our customers’ lives. We want everyone to feel comfortable in our store – whether they are in happy or unhappy, open or closed,  or worried or secure in their sex lives. And yes… it is often fun, because sex SHOULD be fun and enjoyable. So, let’s throw those other “ohs” out the window! Let’s focus on “ohs” I like to hear… because in this business, we’re definitely about the o’s…

Tips for creating a porn-worthy sex life!

Let’s face it… most of us don’t have porn-quality bodies or sex lives. We need to lose weight and don’t get enough sleep. We’ve got kids or family obligations to take care of. We get sick or just don’t feel our best. We’re busy people with busy lives. We don’t always have time in the day for sex, much less high quality sex. Sometimes, it’s a quickie or nothing at all! Plus, we get bored or stuck in a rut in the bedroom. And honestly, sometimes sex becomes a chore…

But, it doesn’t have to be that way! In fact, it doesn’t take much to make your sex life more exciting. A little extra effort can pay off in big ways. Want to have more porn-worthy sex? You can spice it up a little at a time with these tips:

1. Make intimacy a high priority!
Porn stars have sex at the drop of a hat. And while you might not be able to, seize any opportunity you may have. Make time for sex and don’t let it become a chore. Can’t regularly get it on for any number of reasons? Then at least schedule some intimate time with your partner during the week, even if just to cuddle and make-out. The closer you are physically, the more likely you are to be interested in sex.

2. Show enthusiasm!
Porn stars are noisy. Why? It’s a turn-on for both of you AND ego-boost for the one doing the pleasing. Plus, by letting your partner know you are pleased, you will make them want to please you even more. Moan and move! Get into it! Don’t just lay there quietly like a corpse… Let them know you are enjoying yourself!

3. Speak up!
Porn stars are bossy. Maybe you noticed that they order their lovers around. Touch me here. Do me there. Spank me. Lick me. Harder. Faster. Softer… Do the same in your own sex life! Tell your partner EXACTLY what you want, and how you want them to do it! This is especially important if you don’t like something they’re doing. If you don’t speak up, they’re going to keep making the same mistake… and that’s no fun at all!

4. Set the scene!
Porn stars don’t just have sex in the bedroom. They have sex everywhere – by the pool, in offices, during slumber parties for crying out loud! Create your own fantasy scene at home by having sex somewhere else in the house, like the kitchen or your home office. Need to keep things confined to the bedroom? Then, buy those satin sheets! Dim those lights! Light those candles! Line up those toys! Make your bedroom your fantasy love-making spot.

5. Role play!
Porn stars rarely play themselves. They’re always acting out a scenario – coed and professor, plumber and housewife, masseuse and customer. Think about it… Isn’t it always some situation where complete strangers suddenly get it on? So get into character! Pretend you are the special delivery boy or that she is the naughty nurse! Pretending to be someone else can lower your inhibitions and make sex more exciting. Plus, it’s like getting to have sex with someone new!

6. Use enhancements!
Male porn stars can go all night and repeatedly get it up. Female porn stars orgasm just after a few pokes. We, the average masses, are not like this at all! So what can you do to make things more porn-like? No need to fake it or feel like you don’t measure up… Guys, you can try enhancement supplements or creams. These enhancements can create more hardness and girth, help delay ejaculations, and can even help you get it up repeatedly! We even carry sleeves to help you with length. And, we carry plenty of toys to help fulfill her double penetration fantasies… Girls, don’t be ashamed to use a toy to help you orgasm. We also carry enhancement supplements and creams for you. They’ll help make your lady parts more sensitive to touch and stimulation, making it easier for you to orgasm.

Whether you try one or all of our suggestions, sex should be something you enjoy. Don’t see something you like in our tips above? Try one of your own ideas! Keeping your sex life fresh and exciting with your partner is the main priority. Got a suggestion for us? Send us an email and maybe we’ll feature it on our blog!

Solo Time: Tips for pleasing yourself

Whether you’re single, or just need a little alone time without your partner, masturbation is a good way to release some sexual energy. Aside from being fun, masturbation has also be proven to be good for you! And, it’s never a crime to be good to yourself… Masturbation can boost your immunity, relieve stress, help with sexual function, and may even reduce risks of cancer. So in honor of self-pleasure, here are tips to make your solo time very satisfying!

FOR HIM:

Try a masturbator… It’s not be the real thing. But, mastubators are still fun, snug, and feel great! And, you get to have faux oral, vaginal, or anal sex with any number of porn stars. We even carry fantasy styles, if you’re feeling particularly freaky!! Check out our selection here.

Use a warming lube in your hands or with a masturbator for a more lifelike, enhanced feel… The warm sensation adds to the realism and feels great on your penis. Check out our selection here.

Try watching a POV porn… Shot at a realistic angle for a fantasy feel, these pornos make you feel like you are part of the action. Pair the POV porn with a masturbator to match the action and you’re set!

Use nipple clamps… Your nipples are full of erogenous nerves. Stimulating them feels great. Plus, the extra pinch will intensify your climax! Check out our selection here.

Try an anal plug… Stimulating and applying pressure to the prostate with an anal plug can provide INTENSE orgasms for men. Check out our selection here.

Squeeze your balls… That’s right. Gently (or firmly) squeeze and tug down on your own balls right before you climax. This will also create a much more energetic and intense climax.

FOR HER:

Get to know your clitoris… 80% of women need some clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. The best way to master the clitoral orgasm is to be hands-on! Using a good lube and your fingers, stroke your clitoris with the speed and pressure that feels right for you. Don’t want to use your hands? Try stroking a vibrating toy against your clitoris for maximum please. Check out our selection here.

Get to know your g-spot… applying pressure to the g-spot will create a much more pleasurable experience and can intensify your orgasm. Try using a vibrator that is specially designed to rub against the g-spot. Check out our selection here.

Use a quality lube… Lube on your clitoris, as well as a toy, will create a more sensual experience. Try a warming or cooling lube for even more heightened sensations. Check out our selection here.

Get in the mood… Try reading some of our erotica, or watching a little porn, to get you turned on. Either will enhance your mood and will help you to create a fantasy you can pleasure yourself to. Check out our erotica here.

Give anal a try… An anal toy or plug puts pressure on the vaginal wall and will greatly intensify your orgasm. Not to mention, the anus is packed full of erogenous nerves endings! Check out our anal toys here.

Hit the water… the warm sensation of a bath or shower goes a long way in relaxing your body. A relaxed body will make it easier to achieve orgasm and can make your climax stronger… and it also feels sensuous to have the water against your skin. Want to use a toy in the bath? Try one of our completely water-proof vibes such as the We-Vibe 3 or the Form 2 by Jimmy Jane.

Anal 101: A Beginner’s Guide

I’ll be honest… I like anal sex. I’ve had some of my strongest orgasms during anal sex. I also find there is a certain amount of trust and surrender I experience during anal sex, which is a wild turn-on for me. And, Mr. Big (my lover) likes anal sex, too. It’s pretty hot sex, not to mention a REALLY tight spot for him to put his penis. And what man doesn’t like tight?? But, HE also likes anal stimulation. Press his prostate and he’s putty in my hands.

But for most people, anal sex is such a taboo subject… something that is only done in porn or by gay men. Let’s face it… Most women fear it or find it to be too “dirty”. Most straight men have a fascination with it, but would never dream of stimulating that area on their own bodies. But, the truth be told, it can be very pleasurable for both men and women. It’s because the area is actually one of the most sensitive erogenous zones on your body! Here’s why…

FOR MEN:
*The prostate, located just at the front of the rectum, is essentially the male G-spot.
*This chestnut-sized gland is situated about two inches inside and can be found by slowly inserting a finger and pressing towards the penis.
*Stimulating it or applying pressure with a finger, tongue, or anal plug can provide INTENSE orgasms for men.

FOR WOMEN:
*The rectum is home to tons of nerve endings. Because of this, anal stimulation or sex can produce INTENSE orgasms for women, too!
*This is because anal intercourse, or using a plug, will put firm pressure to the g-spot.
*Also, using an anal plug tightens the vaginal wall, which will create more pleasure for you both!

Want to give it a try? Here are some tips for how to open the backdoor… (wink, wink)

Communicate – Communication is key before and during anal sex or stimulation. Talk to your partner about what you’d like to try, or what fears you may have. During your experimentation, let your partner know how things are going by telling them what you’d like more or less of, and if anything hurts.

Plan – Set aside some quality time to shop for toys and lubrication. Then, make sure you have plenty of time to experiment. Being relaxed is key!! So, make time to massage each other, cuddle, or make out. During your experimentation, GO SLOW. Rushing this is not going to work. Be patient with yourself and with your partner. Remember, this type of penetration requires more trust than traditional sex does. Plowing along full speed ahead can ruin the whole experience and cause your partner pain.

Prepare – Get to know your body and when you’re most “empty”. That can go a long way in keeping things clean. Your rectum is usually empty unless you really need to go. But, if you want to be 100% sure, a mild enema will make certain things are clean.

Lubricate – Your anus does not produce any natural lubrication. So, using a water-based, high quality lube will make things a lot easier. It will reduce friction and make any kind of anal penetration more comfortable. I suggest using System Jo’s H20 anal formula. If you are just really nervous about the pain, try using a desensitizing lubricant such as Liquid Sex’s anal formula. The numbing agent will take the edge off. But, it’s especially important to go slow and gentle with a numbing lube, as you won’t be able to feel if something is not working right.

Start Small – Not ready to jump straight into anal sex? Start with a small plug or vibrating toy, and then work your way up. Even a small toy can make a big impact in heightening your climax. Need ideas? Check out our anal toys online or visit us in-store for more selection!

At the end of the day, if anal stimulation and/or sex are not your thing, no big deal. It’s not for everyone. Sex should be about mutual pleasure. So, there is never any reason to do something you don’t like when your in the bedroom. But if you are the least bit intrigued, it’s worth giving it a try. Who knows? You make like it, and it could open up an entirely new dimension in your sex life. And as always, we at the RedDoor are happy to help you take it to the next level… 😉

It’s All About Kegels!

What are the kegel muscles?

The term “Kegel muscle” is used to refer to the muscles of the pelvic floor, the pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles). The PC muscles hold your pelvic organs in place, control the flow of urine, and also contributes to sexual pleasure during intercourse. How? PC muscle are also responsible for the contractions you feel during an orgasm.

How do I find my kegel muscles?

To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream. If you succeed, you’ve got the right muscles.

How do I strengthen my kegel muscles?

You can strengthen you PC muscles by using ben-wa balls or simple exercises. Exercises should be done multiple times a day for maximum results. Keep reading to found out how!

What are kegel exercises?

Kegel exercises are the repetitive tightening and relaxing of the PC muscles.

Why should I do kegel exercises?

Kegel exercises won’t actually tighten your vagina. But, they will tone and strengthen your vaginal muscles, which can increase your ability to be aroused. Kegels will also create a tighter grip during intercourse. They can also help intensify contractions during orgasm, because they send more blow-flow to your nether regions!

HOW TO DO KEGEL EXERCISES:

STEP 1 –  Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles, empty your bladder and lie on your back. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for five seconds, and then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.

STEP 2 – For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.

STEP 3 – Repeat 3 times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.

HOW TO USE BEN-WA BALLS:

STEP 1 – Insert one ball at a time. Putting lubrication on the balls will help them glide in. Women have said that inserting the balls is similar to inserting a tampon. If you’re having trouble, you should lift one leg up. If that doesn’t work, try inserting them while lying down.

STEP 2 – Squeeze your leg muscles together and then your pelvic muscles together to hold the balls in. The balls should push down a little bit inside your vagina, and they will make your vagina feel “full”. Much like tampons, you should eventually get used to the feeling.

STEP 3 – Hold the balls inside for at least 15 minutes a day to strengthen your PC muscles. You can hold them in for hours for a better workout.

Visit us online at www.thereddoorstore.com for Ben-Wa balls and more!

The Clitoral Truth…

The Clitoral Truth: Facts every woman (and man) should know!

Wow. You don’t know how many people I have encountered who do not know what a clitoris is… OR what to do with it!! It’s SUCH an important part of a woman’s sexual pleasure. And because it’s so important, I’m dedicating a blog to educateing and enlightening you about the clitoris!

FACTS:

• The clitoris is a small bud-like formation that is located slightly above the opening to the vagina.
• Clitoris size and shape differs from woman to woman, but it is generally between 1/8″-3/8″ in size.
• The clitoris is the only human organ designed purely for pleasure, and no other reason.
• The clitoris is equivalent to the penis; it’s packed with nerve endings & becomes engorged when she’s aroused.
• Because the clitoris is like a penis, a woman almost always needs some sort of clitoral stimulation to climax.

VITAL INFO: 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Penetration isn’t enough on its own.

TIPS:

• Consider pleasing her FIRST. Since most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, foreplay is a must!
• When pleasuring the clitoris manually or orally, go slowly and use lots of lube. Slow, steady, gentle, repetitive strokes will create a much more intense orgasm.
• For extra sensation, use a clitoral pump or a clitoral stimulating gel to increase blood flow.
• Positions for maximizing clit stimulation are girl on top and rear entry. Both provide access to the clitoris for either manual stimulation or vibrator stimulation. Check out our clitoral vibes here!
• Remember… Every woman is different! Talk to your partner about what makes HER happy and go from there!

DICK·tion·ar·y… Penis knowledge for everyone!

Penises can come (and cum) in all shapes, sizes, and colors. They’re a source of pleasure for their owners, and their owner’s partners. So, here’s a blog post dedicated to the penis.

The Basic Facts:

• There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn’t get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower). Most men are growers.
• The average man has  11 erections during the day. The average man will also ejaculate 7200 times in his life.
• You need to have erections often in order to keep your penis in shape. Basically, it needs regular exercise.
• No time for “exercise”? Don’t worry. Your penis will do the work for you while you sleep. Most men have 3-9 erections a night.
• The average time it takes a man to orgasm is 3 minutes.
• The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds.
• Only 6 % of the male population needs extra-large rubbers, according to condom manufacturers. In other words, 94 % of men lie.
• The average penis size, when erect, is 5 to 6.4 inches.
• The underside of the head and shaft are the most sexually sensitive areas on a penis.

I Bet You Didn’t Know…

• Human males used to actually have a bone in their penises referred to as a “baculum”. The baculum still exists in other primates where it keeps the penis rigid long enough to deliver sperm. Human males now rely only on blood pressure for their boners.
• Only 1 man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself a blow-job!
• According to studies, better-looking men may have stronger sperm.
• Your brain is not necessary for ejaculation (insert joke here). The order to ejaculate actually comes from the spinal cord.
• The most common cause of penile rupture is vigorous masturbation.
• Vibrators aren’t only for women. They work on the penis, too. Repeated vibrations against the penis can cause orgasm and ejaculation.
• Foreskins have been used  to grow artificial skin cells for burn victims.

Things You SHOULD Know…

• Smoking makes you 30% more likely to suffer from impotence. Why? It affects your cardiovascular system, which is responsible for getting blood flow going in your penis. It can also cause damage to penile tissue, making it less elastic and stretchy. Furthermore, smoking can shorten your penis by a centimeter!
• For an averaged size man, it can only take 3 alcoholic beverages to impair your penis’s ability to rise to the occasion.
• 20% of American marriages end in divorce because of sexual dysfunction. That’s why it pays to keep your penis healthy!
• Regular sex has many health benefits for men including higher levels of certain antibodies, lower blood pressure, keeping a healthy body weight, pain relief, higher self-esteem, and improved sleep!

How We Can Help…

• Single, or not getting enough sex? Try one of our many masturbations toys!
• Want to improve blood flow to your penis? Try one of our many styles of penis pumps!
• Need a boost to your size? Try one of our enhancement creams!
• Giving yourself regular penis workouts? Try one of our warming lubes!
• Want to improve your erections? Try one of our cock rings!