Sexual Health

Make 2017 Your Sexiest Year Yet!

couple-tub-champagne-candle-horiz_mvjvgaThe Holidays are almost over. We’re on the brink of a brand new year. If you are like most people, you’re thinking of resolutions for the new year. Even if you don’t call them resolutions, we all promise ourselves that we’ll do something differently in the coming year. This year, skip the promises to eat right, exercise more, drink less… Make resolutions you’ll actually keep! Research has shown that the more you want it, the more likely you are to keep a resolution. And what do we all want more than anything? HOT SEX!! So, here are my sexy New Year’s resolutions for 2017:

1. Be more spontaneous – Don’t forget the old adage: where there is a will, there is a way! When the mood strikes you, make it happen. But don’t just make this about spontaneous sex… include random kisses, hugs, groping, and compliments. All of these things will make your sex life sexier!

2. Try new things – As much as possible, experiment with new positions in the bedroom. Or, try new toys or play accessories. Hell, thinking of new places to have sex can spice things up. And here’s a way to help you keep things new and exciting: write all the new things you want to try on little slips of paper, then throw them in the jar. As often as possible, draw one from the jar and make it happen!

3. Communicate – Seems simple, right? Well, most people do not talk to their partners about what they want and need. Make this your year to open up about sex and tell them what you like, how often you want it, and why you like it!

4. Get kinky – Being kinky doesn’t mean you have to delve into the BDSM lifestyle. But, adding a little bit of kink can go a long way to having sexier sex in the new year. Haven’t watched porn together? Do it. Want to try some bondage? Buy some silk rope. Never role-played? Buy the school girl outfit.

5. Stop making excuses – Headaches, lack of time, lack of desire… we all have excuses for why we don’t have sex. But, even a little foreplay can go a long way in making you happier and your relationship stronger. So, find the time to please and be pleased.

6. Be intimate – Sex does not equal intimacy. But, the more intimate you are with each other, the more you’ll want sex, and the more fulfilling it will be. So, take warm showers with each other, snuggle, hold hands, massage each other, hug… Anything that brings you closer together is well worth the effort and will make for a better 2016!

7.  Show your sexy side – Buy sexy lingerie to wear for him. Greet her in the nude when she gets home. Send sexy texts. Dress up from head to toe and take each other for a romantic date. Turn on your most seductive playlist and dance with or for each other. Whisper naughty thought to each other in the grocery store… Making an effort to keep your partner intrigued, aroused, and interested will keep the heat turned up all year long.

Here’s to a happy, healthy, prosperous, and sexy 2017!!

The Worst Sex I’ve Ever Had…

Oh boy… I have had some amazing sex in my life. You don’t end up being a 40-year-old, single MILF who works for an adult company without having some tales to tell… I could tell you about the super hot anal I had on my lover’s back porch while we were grilling dinner. I could tell you about the midday, 2-hour, me-on-top tantric session we had in a hotel room. Realistically, I could write a book of erotica based on all the fun I’ve had.

But, that’s not what this blog is about. Despite the fact that I have had some epically erotic romps, I’ve also had some really terrible sex… roll your eyes, get it over with quick, laugh out loud when it’s done kinds of bad. I’m not here to bash any of my past lovers. I recognize that there is a learning curve when it comes to new partners. I know that sometimes it takes a while for two people to get comfortable enough to explore and communicate. And, I recognize that you have to take the good with the bad, that nothing is always perfect..  But what I want to do here is point out common mistakes men make when it comes to sex… and how to fix them.

Let’s take a roll call…

Mr. Selfish… These are the guys who ignore your cues. They are the ones who set a pace that doesn’t work for you. They are the ones who want oral, but don’t return the favor. And, they are the ones who finish first and don’t care whether you finish or not. Sigh… these are the lovers who get on my nerves the most. I know women need more attention to get turned on. I know we need more time to cum. But when you short-change us, you won’t be invited back.

Mr. Shove-It-In… These are the guys who skip foreplay and just want to get it on. Now, don’t get me wrong… Sometimes I am ready to go and want to skip foreplay, too. But, I’m talking about someone who never wants to warm you up. It’s like kissing, touching, or going down on you is beneath his status. These kinds of lovers can be low-maintenance and good for hot quickies. But, otherwise, they lack flare

Mr. Vanilla… These are the guys who are intimidated by female pleasure. They don’t want to use toys and explore your sexuality. They like it missionary and are afraid to try anything different. They will get offended if you ask for anything outside of their comfort zone. In other words, they are prudes. I had sex with a Mr. Vanilla once… ONCE. I scared him off! LOL!

Mr. Clueless… These are the guys that don’t know what a clitoris is and have no understanding of how to make a woman orgasm. You think I am joking… But, there are lots of men who really don’t understand female anatomy. Fortunately, I’ve avoided these guys all together.

Mr. Rub It Off… These are the guys that think fast and furious is the way to handle a clitoris. Do you know how many men have tried to rub my clit completely off? LOTS! Ease up fellas!

And here are my FIX-IT TIPS:

  • Ask your partner upfront what she needs in order to orgasm. Spend a little time experimenting with her. Listen without letting your feelings get hurt and follow her lead.
  • Spend time and energy on foreplay. Stroke her with your fingers. Pleasure her with your tongue. And if you know you’re going to finish first during intercourse, make sure she cums during foreplay!
  • During sex, pay attention to her cues. If she sounds like she is faking it, she probably is. Stop whatever it is you’re doing and try something else. Or simply whisper a sexy, “what do you want me to do to you, baby?” I promise you she will tell you exactly what she wants.
  • If you cum and she still hasn’t had a chance, let her know you want to please her once you recover. Hold, kiss, and stroke her. Tease her with your fingers or lips. Then, when you’re ready, ask her again “what do you want me to do to you, baby?” Be open to whatever she says she needs.
  • Get to know the female body. The more you know, the happier you can make her. The 2 most important things are the clitoris and the g-spot. Now granted, women have many erogenous zones. However, these are the 2 most common ones that help a woman achieve orgasm. What to educate yourself? Ask your partner questions. Read our blog. Talk to a female friend you feel comfortable with. Or, come into the store. We’ll be happy to educate you!
  • Women are not all wired the same. Each of your partners may need different things. So talk about it upfront!
  • Don’t be afraid to experiment. Be excited that your partner wants to have sex with you and explore with you. If she wants to use a toy, it doesn’t mean she’s trying to replace you.

Sex should be pleasurable for both parties! If it’s not, there is a problem. Don’t be one of the chumps above!

 

Be Smooth, Play HARD: Glass, Ceramic, and Metal Sex Toys

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When you think of sex toys, you probably envision the traditional dildo or dong… a brightly colored, rubbery toy that’s easy to fling around and use as a weapon (if you’re feeling silly). And truth be told, despite the often humorous appearance of these toys, they can feel really amazing when used for pleasure. Many of them even have life-like appearances and feels. Good ones can come pretty close to mimicking the real deal. And if you add in vibrations, rotating beads, and rabbit-heads? Well, watch the fuck out! You’re definitely going to have a good time or two… or four…

But have you ever craved something different? Have you wanted to try something a little edgier? Or, maybe your body doesn’t like the traditional toys. You get yeast infections, or are allergic to the materials…

Well, I have a sexy solution for both of those problems – glass, ceramic, and metal sex toys!

Let me tell you about the more erotic benefits first:

  • To begin with, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are extremely hard, unbreakable in fact. And they tend to be heavy. The hard and heavy nature of these toys creates an entirely different sensation, compared to traditional toys, when used vaginally or anally. And they tend to have more heft, and therefore pressure, in the orifice of choice!
  • Traditional toys have much more friction due to their rubbery surface. Glass, ceramic, and metal toys are completely smooth. Their smooth surface has almost zero friction. The in-and-out sensation is more like a glide. This makes them perfect to use as anal toys because the reduced friction makes for easier penetration.
  • Unlike traditional toys, glass, ceramic, and metal toys can hold heat and cold. Pop them in ice water or warm water, and you’ll have an instantly different feeling!

And what about the health benefits?

  • Unlike traditional toys, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are non-porous. This means they will not hold onto bacteria like traditional toys. So, if you are prone to yeast or bacterial infections, these are the perfect toys for you!
  • Many people are allergic to the materials of traditional toys. Glass, ceramic, and metal toys are free from silicone, rubber, latex, and phthalates!

And then there are the practical benefits:

  • You can use any type of lube with these types of toys. Plus, their smooth surface means you can use less lube, AND the lube will last even longer than on traditional toys.
  • They are extremely durable and will last forever. The materials won’t degrade and there are no parts to break!
  • Also, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are extremely easy to clean. You can just pop them in the dishwasher!

Curious and want to try out a glass, ceramic, or metal toy? Let me suggest a few of my favorites…

Metal Worx Slim Fave – This is a luxurious, metal, dual-ended pleasure probe. Cast in high quality steel and hand-polished to perfection, this all-in-one exciter is perfect for vaginal or anal play and equal parts art and pleasure. The hygienic metal finish is sleek, non-porous, and easy to clean, while the design is body-inspired and made to excite.

Icicles #7 – Hand-crafted with amazing attention to detail, this luxurious glass massager will leave you breathless. This glass wand is sleek, unique, and made to play hard. And, the pleasure bubbles will glide effortlessly against all the right places!

Don Wands Real Tip Rocket Blue – Beautiful to look at, fun to play with! This realistically shaped glass toy will never lose it’s erection!

Overall, glass, ceramic and metal toys are a highly erotic, body-safe, AND an exciting way to add something new to your sex life! So, don’t be shy… Give one of these toys a try! I promise you won’t be disappointed!

The Case for Masturbation Over Casual Sex…

I don’t often post things from a serious perspective. But, I’ve got some things on my mind that I wanted to share… Just stick with me!

You may not know it from my thoughts and musings, but I am a monogamous, 30-something, single mom. I bet you never would’ve guessed that I would be posting blogs for a sex shop. But, I happen to know a LOT about sex because I’ve always had very adventurous partners. In fact, my friends always call me a “monogamous freak”. It fits. So, trust me when I post something. I know what I am talking about… usually… unless it’s like, bestiality or necrophilia or something… NOT MY THING!!!

I think I’ve made the point before that I am very selective about who I have sex with, due to being a monogamous, 30-something, single mom… (and well, there’s this post that explains some more things about me). I have to be careful – for my child’s sake. In my opinion, I have to stay healthy and whole in order to be a good parent. And therefore, I do not risk my physical or emotional well-being for sex’s sake. I’m not a prude. Don’t get me wrong – I have slipped up from time to time and  have had sex outside of a relationship. I just think it’s dangerous territory for me. So, I don’t do it. It’s never gone right. I end up disappointed because of the sex.

Why? Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… It does not equal love. It does not make up for the things you lack in life. It only feels good while you’re doing it. And it can be downright disappointing physically and/or emotionally, if it’s not done right!

Sex feels good. Oh yes, it does! When your lover circles your pussy with his cock, then plunges in after what seems like forever, it feels like heaven on Earth. It’s like, the best thing EVER! And sex is good for you, too. It relaxes you. It has a bunch of proven health benefits, like headache and blood pressure reduction. Hell, it even burns calories!! Shit… forget your diet and have sex 4 times a day! You’ll look and feel awesome. But, I know that in order to feel good about my own sexual decisions, I have to feel good about the person I am being intimate with… When I don’t feel good about it, I always end up regretting it.

I bet you’re wondering at this point, “why is she even posting this? What a buzz kill!!” Right? I am writing this because I want you to remember you are a bar of gold. You are a valuable commodity. You’re body is your temple, and you do not want to disrespect your temple. Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… STD’s can be forever. Dick-bag boyfriends, or crazy girlfriends, can cause permanent damage. Is that temporary feeling of ecstasy worth it? Sometimes, it might be worth it. Sometimes…

For all those other times, fuck yourself. Masturbate. Take care of your own business. Hell, I know there have been times where I WISH I had masturbated instead of hooking up, either because the sex was lame or the emotional impact was too draining. Listen to me!!! Liberate yourself by taking charge of your own sexual pleasure. Why?

  • Masturbation will put your needs first
  • Masturbation will never give you an STD
  • Masturbation will never cheat on you
  • Masturbation will always let you cum first
  • Masturbation will never lie to you
  • Masturbation will never hurt your feelings
  • Masturbation will never waste your time
  • Masturbation will never make promises it can’t keep

Need more reasons? Here’s scientific reasons to pass on the meaningless sex and stick with the self-pleasure:

  • Masturbation helps you sleep
  • Masturbation relieves cramps and stress
  • Masturbation has been shown to prevent prostate cancer and alleviate UTI’s
  • Masturbation boosts your immunity
  • Masturbation has been shown to improve your mood
  • Masturbation tones pelvic and anal muscles
  • Masturbation lowers Risk Of Type 2 Diabetes

So, skip the dick-bags and the crazy bitches from time to time. Instead, check out our selection of solo toys and make yourself happy!

For the boys – Click Here!  For the gals – Click Here!

 

For the Ladies: The Do’s and Don’t of Casual Sex

Casual sex can mean different things to different people… In general, men have an easier time of separating sex from emotional connections. So, they can have sex casually without ever forming any attachments. Sex to them is simply a pleasurable recreational activity. To put it bluntly – They can hit it and quit it.

On the flip side, most women confuse sex with love. Why? It could be because women release the powerful hormone oxytocin during orgasms. Scientists believe that oxytocin causes women to create a strong emotional ties to sexual partners. So for this reason alone, my post is directed more towards my female audience.

Ok ladies… here are the dos and don’ts of casual sex to keep you in line and to avoid being hurt:

1. Be honest with yourself before you have casual sex. Why are you doing it? What do you want from it? If you are aware of your feelings, you can avoid potential hurt by having casual sex for the wrong reasons.

2. Be straightforward. Let whomever you have sex with know that it is for sex’s sake only.

3. Be realistic. Don’t get emotionally attached. THIS.IS.JUST.SEX. It will not develop into a relationship. It’s just physical fun. Remind yourself of this constantly!

4. Be safe. Use condoms and run background checks. Don’t take him home… People lie. They lie about their health. They lie about being “good guys”. The last thing you want from a little fun is an STD, a stalker, or worse… like being stuffed in a trunk!!

5. Don’t expect to be wined and dined. This is not dating. It is not about getting to know one another. It’s JUST SEX!

If you think you can handle it, casual sex can be a fun source of sexual release. You can be as wild and adventurous as you like! You can be as sexy as you want! Just be safe and be real.

Lube 101: The Do’s and Dont’s of Lubrication

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Lube can be a great addition to your sex life. It can enhance the pleasurable sensations of sex and masturbation. Lube can also aid with vaginal dryness or discomfort. It can also provide flavor during oral sex, which also increase salivation. Plus, when used with condoms, lube increases pleasure for both partners and decreases the risk of condom breakage.

The three main types of lube are:

  • Water-Based – Water-based lubes rinse off easily from skin and fabric. They are generally cheaper and easier to find than silicone-based lube. And, they are less likely to cause yeast infections.
  • Silicone-Based – Silicone lubes are oil-based, last longer than water-based lube, and are best for anal sex.
  • Flavored – Flavored lubes are usually a water-based lube with flavor added. They can come in a huge variety of flavors and are best for oral sex, especially when using a condom.

Do’s and Don’ts with lubrication:

DO: Know how to use lube. Add a drop inside the condom before sex to increase sensation for the man. Add a few drops to the outside of the condom to reduce friction and breakage. Reapply as needed.

DON’T: Use flavored lube that contains sugar for vaginal sex. The sugars in some flavored lube can cause yeast infections. Make sure you purchase a flavored lube that is sugar-free, if you plan to use it for vaginal sex.

DON’T: Use an oil-based product as lube with condoms or sex-toys. Oil-based products rapidly degrade latex condoms and many of the materials sex-toys are made of! Oil-based products include Vaseline, baby oil, olive oil, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and hand or body lotion. As a rule of thumb, do not use any cooking or beauty products as lube; only use products specifically designed for sex.

DO: Use lube for anal sex…. every time! Lube is a must for anal sex. Since the anus is not self-lubricating, anal sex without lube is painful and risky. Friction during anal sex can cause tears to the tissue, increasing risk of STIs, including HIV. To reduce tearing and increase pleasure, apply lube (and a condom) before penetration, and reapply as needed.

DO: Use silicone-based lube during anal sex. Because the anus and rectum absorb water, silicone-based lube lasts longer than water-based lube. If the only lube available to you is water-based lube, use it and reapply often.

And as always, we carry a HUGE selection of brands and styles of lubes: water-based, silicone, flavored, gel, organic, warming, cooling, stimulating, couple’s, hybrid, and more!

http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/lotions-and-potions/lubes

The Case for High End Toys… by Danny Z

Often as I was growing up, my mother would tell me, “buy the best you can afford.” It’s something that has stuck with me as an adult. Of course we’ve all heard the saying, “you get what you pay for.” I’m cool with that. I understand that not everything is made to last, quality is relative, and rarely does something cheap last. But buying the best you can afford is a little different. It requires the understanding of the value of an item.

See, I am the kind of person who only wants to purchase something once. I’ll buy exactly what I want, even if I had to save up for it. And since I am on a budget, my money is important to me! With that in mind, I do my research ahead of time and want to make sure I don’t waste my money. I do this with almost anything I buy, from vitamins to replacement parts for my bicycle. Amazon and customer reviews are my best friends. They help me justify any purchase I make! And since I am an avid instore buyer, I need that feedback to feel confident in my purchase. Overall, I understand that I am paying a little more here and there for quality. But with that financial sacrifice, I am rewarded with many advantages.

In the world of sex toys, the same principles apply. There are low quality vibes for those on a budget. There’s the mid grade stuff… the stuff that will last a little longer and can handle a little aggression. Then there are the high end toys, which are a completely different level of quality and pleasure. I am not trying to sell you on high end toys, that high end is only the way to go. I love all the product lines we sell. But, I believe in quality and want you to be happy with your purchase. So, as a person who rarely experiences buyer’s remorse, I feel that I should share my wisdom with customers.

Why high end toys? Many of them come with a warranty of a year or more, whereas lower/mid quality toys usually only come with a 30 day warranty. Some higher end toys even have three year and to 15 year warranties. That’s insane! That’s like a car warranty! And it says something about the toys… It says that the manufacturer strongly believes in the quality and durability of their products. That is comforting to know, that my money is coming with the promise that it is not going to waste! No one wants to be disappointed by a manufacturer’s defect, if you know what I mean.

And speaking of quality, almost all high end toys are rechargeable and water proof (literally submergable, like you can play with it in the tub without a worry in the world). They are also made with better quality materials such as medical grade silicone and superior motors. In fact, the motors/vibrations on high toys tend to be faster and/or deeper than less expensive toys. So not only are you paying for quality and durability, your paying for stronger orgasms and greater pleasure!

Whether you need to stick to a budget or you want to splurge, research the products ahead of time! Ask questions! We are here to help, and there is a ton of great information online about most of our toys. At the end of the day, we want you to be happy with your purchase, even if it was with one of our lesser priced toys. But remember what my mom said… “buy the best you can afford.” I don’t think you can ever go wrong with that!

PORN… and lots of it!

I like porn. Is that weird?

If you’re a guy, you’re probably not all that impressed with my declaration. Most guys watch porn. But, if you asked most women, I bet they’d deny ever having watched it. There was a time that I was like that. I thought porn was degrading to women, a form of exploitation. At some point in my adult life, I began to lighten up and enjoy watching it – alone or with a partner. I no longer see it as a bad thing, but as a pleasurable thing that can enhance my masturbation or sex life with a partner.

For me, anal and girl-on-girl porn have the biggest turn-ons. I occasionally like Hentai, as there is something erotic about the domination and destruction of innocence that often happens in Hentai. And, I am more interested in realistic looking porn. The overly made-up and staged stuff doesn’t do it for me. I like my porn to look real, as if these two (or more) people just decided to get it on and happened to have a camera. I also like intense porn, where one act is focused on at length. All the switching up and changing acts or positions is too distracting. Got a girl munching down hard-core on another girl? Yes. Got a guy pounding away on an asshole while the girl cries in pain? Yes.

When I am alone, porn is a great escape. I’m a visual person and a creative person. I need that visual stimulation to get turned on. So, if I am masturbating, porn gets me going better than fantasizing does. But, it’s not only the visuals. In realistic porn, the audio gets me turned on, too. All that moaning and groaning really heightens my masturbation experience.

When I am with a partner, porn just makes it more interesting. I like to curl up next to someone and watch a video that may feature something we’d like to try. Or, maybe it’s something we like to do together already, and we just want to get the juices flowing. Besides, laying next to your partner, feeling them get hard because of the porn… that’s a big turn-on. And then while watching, touching each other or ourselves… that can be very hot! Also, have you ever allowed your partner to watch porn while you do whatever the porn-star is doing? It’s like your partner is getting to be in the porn. It’s like living out the fantasy of having sex with someone else without having to cheat.

And did you know that research shows porn can be beneficial for couples? Yes! It’s true! There are studies that show watching more porn results in increased sex drive and activity between partners, either when the partners watched it alone or together. Research has also shown that porn makes couples more spontaneous and less inhibited. So, not only were they more likely to have sex, more often, they were more likely to try new things! And, porn has been shown to improve your technique. Think about it… when watching porn, don’t you learn new tricks? Yes, yes you do!

If you’ve never watched porn, I can see how you’d be intimidated. The actors tend to have hot bodies, big boobs, and large dicks. But, try watching amateur porn. It’s full of people just like you and I. Want to give it a go? Try a free website like pornhub.com, yuvutu.com, or redtube.com. You can search by category and focus on what you like. Don’t want to search on the computer? Pick up a $9.99 video from our stores. We carry very tame titles and couples oriented videos for the faint of heart. Also, try watching the porn alone at first. If you don’t like it, you’ve only wasted your time and you haven’t gotten your partner’s hopes up. Then, if you do like it, mention it to your partner and see their eyes light up! I promise that anything you pick out, from wild to tame, will turn them on.

Sexy Ways to Survive Your Break-up!

I recently went through a break-up and it sucks! I’m not going to lie. I didn’t WANT to break up with my man. But, I also didn’t want to continue being with someone who couldn’t love me or take care of me the way I want and need to be loved and cared for. And even though I was the one who dumped him, it still hurts… and well, I’m sometimes lonely and bored without him because now I have more time to fill.

Maybe you’re in the same boat as me… just tired of bullshit and preferring to be alone. Or, maybe you were the one who was dumped. That REALLY sucks! Being dumped can really crush the spirit for a while. You’re going to be lonely and depressed until you realize it’s probably for the best that things happened the way they did.

But whether you were the dumper or dumpee, there are lots of sexy things to help you cope with a break-up…

1. Grab some condoms and have a one night stand… or three.

Now, I am not one to promote casual sex. It’s just not my thing. But, a SAFE, random romp with a stranger can temporarily make you feel sexy, wanted, and free. The sex can be as wild and uninhibited as you want it to be. And, a few one night stands will help ease the sexual tension you may feel as the result of losing your partner. Just remember to stop by our store and pick up some of the wide variety of condoms we sell. AND remember, it’s just s.e.x. It’s not a relationship and will likely never go anywhere. If you can do that, you can get the ego boost and sexual release that will help you over the break-up hump.

2. Masturbate… a lot.

The time after a break-up can be tough if you enjoyed the sex. So, invest in a high-quality sex toy or masturbator to ease the tension. Hey, a sex toy is a lot less complicated than a one night stand or friend with benefits… and a lot safer. Also, sex toys won’t make you feel miserable. They won’t hurt your feelings. They won’t bug you or blow up your phone. And, there are some AMAZING toys out there that almost make another person irrelevant. And pleasing yourself will help you resist the urge to run back to your ex just for the sake of sex!

For guys, I suggest a Tenga Fliphole. These toys won’t cause drama and are a lot cheaper than having a girlfriend!

For gals, I suggest any one of the OVO Rabbits. These toys are affordable, powerful, and durable… Probably more powerful and durable than your last boyfriend… and most likely much more dependable!

3. Update your underwear.

I know this might sound like a weird suggestion. But, hear me out… You wore that underwear to turn him or her on. So, chuck it! Burn it in the fireplace. Cut it up and mail it to him/her in a package. Whatever you do, get rid of it all. Then, come by one of our stores and pick up some sexy new underthings for guys or gals! Having sexy new underwear can really make you feel better. Just knowing you have on something underneath your jeans can make you exude an air of sexiness. And that will surely attract new people into your life… or at least give you back a little swagger in your walk.

4. Flirt… a lot.

It can take a while to let go of the feelings from a break-up, whether you were the dumper or dumpee. And, maybe you are not ready to rejoin the dating world because you don’t want new drama, or are afraid of getting hurt. But, you can and should flirt. Flirting boosts your ego, makes you smile, and is completely harmless. It will remind you that you are sexy and desirable. And even if you just aren’t ready for that next step, it will help you to see that there are a lot of fish in the sea.

5. Learn from it.

Learning from your mistakes is sexy. Why? Because knowing your needs and wants makes you a more confident person, and therefore a sexier person. Next time, you’ll know more about what you do and don’t want/need. You’ll look for someone who is interested in fulfilling your desires, as much as they are interested in having theirs fulfilled. You won’t settle for less. That knowledge confidence, and power is all extremely sexy!

We’re all freaks… By Danny Z

Do you know what’s a common thing I run into with my line of work? Almost immediately, when someone finds out that I work at a sex shop, they ask, “What is the freakiest thing you’ve sold or seen?”

It is a very interesting question. I’ll give you that! But, what may be “freaky” to me, may not be freaky to you…

Someone asked me the same exact question the other day, for the umpteenth time. But, it made me realize I no longer believe that there such thing as “freaky”. People do what they do – whether they are embarrassed about it or not. In fact, it is nothing to be ashamed of in the first place!

But it’s a sort of conundrum, if you think about it… We so open with our opinions and thoughts as a society. We criticize our government openly. We post incriminating photos on Facebook or Instagram. We post our family drama or bad mouth our workplaces on Facebook. But when it comes to sexual desires – we avoid being open and honest about them. It’s kind of disheartening that all of that stuff is not freaky, but quite normal… Yet, people are still afraid to talk about sex and will judge alternative preferences as freaky.

While I may have my own preferences, and you have yours, everyone has theirs own tastes in sex and should be allowed to – whatever their tastes may be! You like toys? Fine. Not into foreplay? Cool.  Like men, women, or both? Whatever. If you knew the amount of people who come into our, but can’t look me in the face, you would be amazed! BUT THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED! I don’t know why anyone is embarrassed about it. People have masturbated for YEARS. They are not the first person, certainly not the last. It also doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. It just says that you want to “spice things up”. And, well… everyone likes to have fun. I think we can agree on that.

There is no need for bashfulness when looking for an item – from a simple vibrator to something more extreme. In our store, we sell almost the exact same amount of both mild and wild! There is a demand for both, even if one might be more mainstream than the other. And, here is where it gets silly… Multiple times a day, I get whispered questions or concerns about something – anal, restraints, vibes, etc. It’s because people are scared for others to hear them… But what they don’t realize is that someone was in the store, right before they were, inquiring about the exact same products just moments before! How funny is that?

We’re not shy about our lives, except when it comes to sex… And it doesn’t have to be that way!

Here is just a list of a few things I think folks shouldn’t be so embarrassed about. Take a look! You may find that what you are afraid to try or ask about is actually quite common…

  • Anal sex… This is probably the most asked about topic in the store. Everyone is doing it, or wants to try it.
  • Prostate stimulation… A lot of men really enjoy prostate play. But, there is a stigma that it means you’re gay if you like it. FACT : You’re not a gay, unless you date/sleep with others of the same sex. FACT: The prostate is an a very sensitive erogenous area and can create intense orgasms when stimulated.
  • Porn… Porn is everywhere. Almost everyone has or is watching it. There’s nothing wrong with that.
  • Toys… Lots of people use toys. And, toys are additive to sex, not substitutions for it. Think of it like this… Ice cream is good on its own. But, it is better with sprinkles! So, adding toys to the mix doesn’t make you a freak.
  • Enhancements… Be it pills, creams, delay gels, or extensions, it’s ok if you need to supplement your sex life! We can’t all be porn stars. We’re busy, tired humans, and sometimes we need a little help.

So, be yourself and do what makes you happy! Normal is relative, and you’re normal… Trust me. I think Dr. Seuss said it best – “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”