Sex Tips

Low Sex Drive?

If you’d met me two years ago, you would have never believed I would end up suffering from a low sex drive. I loved sex. I was adventurous – liked anal, bondage, S&M, women and men, and more. My then boyfriend and I had sex twice a day, and I enjoyed it every time. But things change… I broke up with said boyfriend after 5 years of an on again, off again relationship. Bummer. Then, I met someone I felt good about. Four months later, they dumped me via text. Bummer. And finally, I met someone who changed my life for the better. Good news, right? Yes, but it also coincided with me turning 40 and my sex drive plummeting. Major bummer. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with my partner. I do. I really do. It’s that my age, body, and more have ganged up against me to crush my once amazing sex drive.

Turns out I’m normal and that low libido is a common issue in men and women my age or older. So what causes low sex drive? It can vary from person to person, but here are the most common reasons…

For both women and men, there are many physical issues that can cause low libido. These include prescription medicines, high blood pressure, thyroid problems, too little sleep, too little or too much exercise, and alcohol and drug use. There are also many psychological issues, including depression, stress, changes in relationship status, and relationship problems. For women, pregnancy, menopause or illness can decrease sex drive. For men, low testosterone can affect the sex drive.

So what can you do about a low sex drive?

1. See a doctor – The first thing you should do is schedule an appointment with your doctor. Ruling out any health issues is absolutely the first step! There are so many underlying physical reasons for a low libido. It’s best to check with your doctor to make sure everything is running smoothly and that you are in good health.

2. Talk to your partner – Opening up to your partner about your low sex drive is important for maintaining healthy sexual communication. Let them know you are feeling this way. If it’s not because of relationship issues, it’s important to let them know. This can decrease insecurities and create understanding. If it IS because of relationship issues, this is the first step in talking things out. How can someone help you if they don’t know what the problem is?

3. Keep a journal – If your low libido is definitely NOT health related, then what is it? Start keeping a sex journal. When you are not in the mood, jot it down. When you are in the mood, jot it down. Notice a pattern? Maybe lack of sleep, stressful days at work, or not enough alone time without the kids are causing the decrease in desire. Maybe the weeks you exercise more, the less sex you want. Getting to know yourself and your habits can help you create a plan to maximizing your sex drive.

4. Try something different – If things just aren’t working, it’s time to try something different. Relationship problems? Maybe it’s time to break-up or seek counseling. Not enough time? Maybe it’s time to schedule a mini getaway. Stressed? Maybe it’s time to cut back on work or extra activities. Bored? Maybe it’s time to try some new toys or sex positions. Whatever it is that isn’t working, get rid of it, even if just for a little while.

5. Get healthier – Taking care of your mental and physical well-being are keys to a healthy sex life, with or without low libido. So take care of yourself! Low-stress exercise such as yoga has been known to help with libido. Supplements such as DHEA and the Mediterranean diet have also been known to help with libido. Even drinking enough water and getting enough sleep have been shown to help with libido.

6. Make time for intimacy – Even if you are not in the mood for sex, make time for intimacy. Carve out time with your partner every day for closeness – snuggling on the couch, showering together, spooning in bed, enjoying a cup of coffee or wine without distractions. Sex is important in a relationship, but it isn’t everything. Intimacy is what keeps you together. And with increased intimacy, there’s usually an increase in sex drive.

It’s important to remember you are not alone. As many as 66% of women over 45, and 40% of men over 45, report suffering from a low sex drive. Definitely seek out the help of your doctor, no matter how embarrassing the conversation may be. And remember that where there is a will, there is a way. Don’t give up on your sex life!

Old-Fashioned Sex Advice Revisited

Sixty years ago, a woman’s pleasure was a thing to be whispered about. Sex outside of marriage was shameful. Sex toys, or anything other than missionary, were for cheap girls and harlots. We’ve certainly come a long way when it comes to adventurous sex. Porn is mainstream. Adult stores are big business, no longer back alley establishments. And movies like “50 Shades of Grey” have inspired women everyone to try a little BDSM. But should we completely discard old-fashioned beliefs about sex? Let’s take a look…

Old-fashioned Tip #1 – Your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego. Morale is a woman’s business.

This isn’t bad advice. Appreciating and complimenting your man builds up his confidence. And confidence is good for the bedroom. The more you praise his manhood and his efforts, the more he’s going to want to please you.

Old-fashioned Tip #2 – If you are one of those frigid or sexually anesthetic women, don’t be in a hurry to inform your husband about it.  To the man it makes no difference in the pleasurableness of the act whether you are frigid or not, unless he knows that you are frigid.  And he won’t know unless you tell him, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Uhm, wrong. This one is definitely wrong with a capital “W”. A man knows if you are not enjoying yourself. And, if you are not enjoying himself, chances are it will ruin some part of the act for him. Can he still get off and orgasm even if you’re bored to tears? Yes, probably. But, can it also affect his performance and make it less pleasurable? Definitely. Only a major asshole doesn’t care if you are bored and miserable. So, throw this advice out the window and talk to your partner about what you do and don’t like. If he doesn’t want to listen and please you, ditch him!

Old-fashioned Tip #3 – Underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying, but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford.  And the color should be preferably pink.  And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man.

This one has some merit to it. Not all men like lingerie or fancy underwear. But if you want to feel sexy… and you want him to see you as sexy… make sure whatever you’re wearing is in good shape, flattering, and preferably in a color you or he loves. No one is sexy is undies with stains or holes in them. So, I am not talking about always wearing satin and lace. You can still be sexy in cute cotton bras and panties. And the color doesn’t have to be pink. According to my research, men prefer black or white.

Old-fashioned Tip #4 – While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured.

Say what? No. Just no. This is one old-fashioned sex tip I can’t believe exists! Sex should never be revolting or painful. If it is, you’re doing it wrong! Even when you want it to be painful, that should come from a place of pleasure, because you find that enjoyable.

Old-fashioned Tip #5The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

Problem #1 with this tip… Sex no longer has to be enjoyed under the confines of marriage. Problem #2… If you are married, lessening the frequency of sex is bound to take its toll on your relationship. In fact, married couples should work hard to stay committed, keep things fresh, and try to have sex as much as possible. Distancing yourself from each other sexually is a fast track to divorce. Don’t let kids, work, and life get in the way of being intimate with each other.

Old-fashioned Tip #6A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.

Oh, quite the contrary my friends! Being naked has many benefits to your health AND makes you want to have sex more often. How? It increases your circulation and improves your confidence – both of which have been proven to increase sex drive and sexual pleasure!

While we may learn from the past in most other circumstances, sex doesn’t seem to be one of them! Thank goodness we’ve come so far so that we can cum so far. I’ll take modern sex any day of the week!

XOXO, Bella

The Worst Sex I’ve Ever Had…

Oh boy… I have had some amazing sex in my life. You don’t end up being a 40-year-old, single MILF who works for an adult company without having some tales to tell… I could tell you about the super hot anal I had on my lover’s back porch while we were grilling dinner. I could tell you about the midday, 2-hour, me-on-top tantric session we had in a hotel room. Realistically, I could write a book of erotica based on all the fun I’ve had.

But, that’s not what this blog is about. Despite the fact that I have had some epically erotic romps, I’ve also had some really terrible sex… roll your eyes, get it over with quick, laugh out loud when it’s done kinds of bad. I’m not here to bash any of my past lovers. I recognize that there is a learning curve when it comes to new partners. I know that sometimes it takes a while for two people to get comfortable enough to explore and communicate. And, I recognize that you have to take the good with the bad, that nothing is always perfect..  But what I want to do here is point out common mistakes men make when it comes to sex… and how to fix them.

Let’s take a roll call…

Mr. Selfish… These are the guys who ignore your cues. They are the ones who set a pace that doesn’t work for you. They are the ones who want oral, but don’t return the favor. And, they are the ones who finish first and don’t care whether you finish or not. Sigh… these are the lovers who get on my nerves the most. I know women need more attention to get turned on. I know we need more time to cum. But when you short-change us, you won’t be invited back.

Mr. Shove-It-In… These are the guys who skip foreplay and just want to get it on. Now, don’t get me wrong… Sometimes I am ready to go and want to skip foreplay, too. But, I’m talking about someone who never wants to warm you up. It’s like kissing, touching, or going down on you is beneath his status. These kinds of lovers can be low-maintenance and good for hot quickies. But, otherwise, they lack flare

Mr. Vanilla… These are the guys who are intimidated by female pleasure. They don’t want to use toys and explore your sexuality. They like it missionary and are afraid to try anything different. They will get offended if you ask for anything outside of their comfort zone. In other words, they are prudes. I had sex with a Mr. Vanilla once… ONCE. I scared him off! LOL!

Mr. Clueless… These are the guys that don’t know what a clitoris is and have no understanding of how to make a woman orgasm. You think I am joking… But, there are lots of men who really don’t understand female anatomy. Fortunately, I’ve avoided these guys all together.

Mr. Rub It Off… These are the guys that think fast and furious is the way to handle a clitoris. Do you know how many men have tried to rub my clit completely off? LOTS! Ease up fellas!

And here are my FIX-IT TIPS:

  • Ask your partner upfront what she needs in order to orgasm. Spend a little time experimenting with her. Listen without letting your feelings get hurt and follow her lead.
  • Spend time and energy on foreplay. Stroke her with your fingers. Pleasure her with your tongue. And if you know you’re going to finish first during intercourse, make sure she cums during foreplay!
  • During sex, pay attention to her cues. If she sounds like she is faking it, she probably is. Stop whatever it is you’re doing and try something else. Or simply whisper a sexy, “what do you want me to do to you, baby?” I promise you she will tell you exactly what she wants.
  • If you cum and she still hasn’t had a chance, let her know you want to please her once you recover. Hold, kiss, and stroke her. Tease her with your fingers or lips. Then, when you’re ready, ask her again “what do you want me to do to you, baby?” Be open to whatever she says she needs.
  • Get to know the female body. The more you know, the happier you can make her. The 2 most important things are the clitoris and the g-spot. Now granted, women have many erogenous zones. However, these are the 2 most common ones that help a woman achieve orgasm. What to educate yourself? Ask your partner questions. Read our blog. Talk to a female friend you feel comfortable with. Or, come into the store. We’ll be happy to educate you!
  • Women are not all wired the same. Each of your partners may need different things. So talk about it upfront!
  • Don’t be afraid to experiment. Be excited that your partner wants to have sex with you and explore with you. If she wants to use a toy, it doesn’t mean she’s trying to replace you.

Sex should be pleasurable for both parties! If it’s not, there is a problem. Don’t be one of the chumps above!

 

Be Smooth, Play HARD: Glass, Ceramic, and Metal Sex Toys

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When you think of sex toys, you probably envision the traditional dildo or dong… a brightly colored, rubbery toy that’s easy to fling around and use as a weapon (if you’re feeling silly). And truth be told, despite the often humorous appearance of these toys, they can feel really amazing when used for pleasure. Many of them even have life-like appearances and feels. Good ones can come pretty close to mimicking the real deal. And if you add in vibrations, rotating beads, and rabbit-heads? Well, watch the fuck out! You’re definitely going to have a good time or two… or four…

But have you ever craved something different? Have you wanted to try something a little edgier? Or, maybe your body doesn’t like the traditional toys. You get yeast infections, or are allergic to the materials…

Well, I have a sexy solution for both of those problems – glass, ceramic, and metal sex toys!

Let me tell you about the more erotic benefits first:

  • To begin with, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are extremely hard, unbreakable in fact. And they tend to be heavy. The hard and heavy nature of these toys creates an entirely different sensation, compared to traditional toys, when used vaginally or anally. And they tend to have more heft, and therefore pressure, in the orifice of choice!
  • Traditional toys have much more friction due to their rubbery surface. Glass, ceramic, and metal toys are completely smooth. Their smooth surface has almost zero friction. The in-and-out sensation is more like a glide. This makes them perfect to use as anal toys because the reduced friction makes for easier penetration.
  • Unlike traditional toys, glass, ceramic, and metal toys can hold heat and cold. Pop them in ice water or warm water, and you’ll have an instantly different feeling!

And what about the health benefits?

  • Unlike traditional toys, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are non-porous. This means they will not hold onto bacteria like traditional toys. So, if you are prone to yeast or bacterial infections, these are the perfect toys for you!
  • Many people are allergic to the materials of traditional toys. Glass, ceramic, and metal toys are free from silicone, rubber, latex, and phthalates!

And then there are the practical benefits:

  • You can use any type of lube with these types of toys. Plus, their smooth surface means you can use less lube, AND the lube will last even longer than on traditional toys.
  • They are extremely durable and will last forever. The materials won’t degrade and there are no parts to break!
  • Also, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are extremely easy to clean. You can just pop them in the dishwasher!

Curious and want to try out a glass, ceramic, or metal toy? Let me suggest a few of my favorites…

Metal Worx Slim Fave – This is a luxurious, metal, dual-ended pleasure probe. Cast in high quality steel and hand-polished to perfection, this all-in-one exciter is perfect for vaginal or anal play and equal parts art and pleasure. The hygienic metal finish is sleek, non-porous, and easy to clean, while the design is body-inspired and made to excite.

Icicles #7 – Hand-crafted with amazing attention to detail, this luxurious glass massager will leave you breathless. This glass wand is sleek, unique, and made to play hard. And, the pleasure bubbles will glide effortlessly against all the right places!

Don Wands Real Tip Rocket Blue – Beautiful to look at, fun to play with! This realistically shaped glass toy will never lose it’s erection!

Overall, glass, ceramic and metal toys are a highly erotic, body-safe, AND an exciting way to add something new to your sex life! So, don’t be shy… Give one of these toys a try! I promise you won’t be disappointed!

Sexy New Year’s Resolutions for 2014

It’s that time of year again… The Holidays are drawing to a close. The year is almost over. And, we are all gearing up for New Year’s Eve celebrations.

If you are like most people, you’re thinking of resolutions for the new year. Even if you don’t call them resolutions, we all promise ourselves that we’ll do something differently in the coming year. This year, skip the promises to eat right, exercise more, drink less… Make resolutions you’ll actually keep! Research has shown that the more you want it, the more likely you are to keep a resolution. And what do we all want more than anything? HOT SEX!!

So, here are my sexy New Year’s resolutions for 2014:

1. Be more spontaneous – Don’t forget the old adage: where there is a will, there is a way! When the mood strikes you, make it happen. But don’t just make this about spontaneous sex… include random kisses, hugs, groping, and compliments. All of these things will make your sex life sexier!

2. Try new things – As much as possible, experiment with new positions in the bedroom. Or, try new toys or play accessories. Hell, thinking of new places to have sex can spice things up. And here’s a way to help you keep things new and exciting: write all the new things you want to try on little slips of paper, then throw them in the jar. As often as possible, draw one from the jar and make it happen!

3. Communicate – Seems simple, right? Well, most people do not talk to their partners about what they want and need. Make this your year to open up about sex and tell them what you like, how often you want it, and why you like it!

4. Get kinky – Being kinky doesn’t mean you have to delve into the BDSM lifestyle. But, adding a little bit of kink can go a long way to having sexier sex in the new year. Haven’t watched porn together? Do it. Want to try some bondage? Buy some silk rope. Never role-played? Buy the school girl outfit.

5. Stop making excuses – Headaches, lack of time, lack of desire… we all have excuses for why we don’t have sex. But, even a little foreplay can go a long way in making you happier and your relationship stronger. So, find the time to please and be pleased.

6. Be intimate – Sex does not equal intimacy. But, the more intimate you are with each other, the more you’ll want sex, and the more fulfilling it will be. So, take warm showers with each other, snuggle, hold hands, massage each other, hug… Anything that brings you closer together is well worth the effort and will make for a better 2014!

Need more reasons to have more sex in 2014? Check out this related article from CNN, about the benefits of having sex: New Year’s resolution: Have more sex. Turns out that sex is good for you! So, if you wanted to be healthier in the new year, have more sex!!

Here’s to a happy, healthy, prosperous, and sexy 2014!!

Sex and the Holidays: a How-To Guide

santa_claus_sexyThe Holiday season is a wonderful time of year. It’s about family and friends, joy and love, giving and receiving. You’re attending parties and connecting with your loved ones. You’re spending time at home with your family, or they’re excitedly traveling to see you. Overall, most of us are happily spreading the cheerful spirit of the season as we go about our days. It’s just an all-around, feel-good time of year.

But, let’s face it… running around town for gifts, spending money, having a full social calendar, and spending time with your family can all be stressful, even if it’s a joyful kind of stress! And so we may neglect our sex lives due to stress or lack of time. But, this is exactly why you should make a point of sneaking in sex as much as possible during the Holidays! Sex is a natural way to bring you closer to someone you love AND relieves stress. It’s a 2-for-1 gift for the Holidays!

So, how do you make time for sex during the Holidays? Well, whether you’re busy or visiting family, there is a way! Here’s our how-to guide for sex and the Holidays:

1. Make use of the shower – Lock the door, jump in together, lather each other up, and sneak in a wet quickie!

2. Fake a nap – Pretend you both need a nap after all the fun, and run off to the bedroom for a hushed romp. Muffling the noise will only make things hotter! I promise!

3. Run “errands” – Pop out to pick up some last-minute items from the store and find a secluded parking lot. Jump in the back seat and make like teenagers!

4. Afternoon delight – Busy in the evenings? Make a lunch date with your lover and rush home for a quickie. With the edge off, the office party that evening won’t seem so lame.

5. Speaking of parties… At the office? Sneak off to the nearest single-user bathroom. At a friend’s or family member’s house? Find a secluded closet or make your way to the basement bathroom!

6. Pull a Santa Claus – Wait until everyone is nestled in bed with vision of sugar plums dancing in their heads, then have a late, late night romp.

7. Skip the main course – If time is really tight, skip sex and just stick with foreplay. Hand-jobs and finger-fucks can get the job done much more quickly!

8. Make a naughty list – Each of you write down 12 naughty things you’d like to do over the Holidays. Then, make it a challenge to see how many items you can check off your naughty list!

9. Give the gift of oral – Give him a blow-job, or go down on her… without expecting anything in return but some moans and a sexy “thank you”!

10. Use toys – Toys don’t require full nudity, or even much discretion. Grab a masturbator for him, and help him get off while you’re on that long drive home to visit family. Grab a remote-controlled bullet for her, and return the favor.

However you decide to please each other over the Holidays, make time for sex! I promise you’ll feel even jollier!! And with that, we wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Joyful Winter Solstice, Happy New Year, and more to all of our friends and fans!!

 

Why you should give the gift of sex…

sexy-christmas-santa-hatIt’s the Holiday season. You have a long list of things to do, gifts to get, and people to see. You may think you don’t have time for sex. Maybe you’re too stressed out to fool around. Perhaps the family is around, and you don’t want them all up in your business. But, you should make time for sex, whenever and wherever possible during the Holidays. Think about it… sex is about giving and receiving pleasure. So naturally, that makes sex the perfect gift – for yourself and your partner! Here’s why:

1. It’s free! That’s right… it doesn’t cost one red cent!
2. It’s a gift you can both enjoy, any time, all year-round.
3. It burns calories. And with all those Holiday meals, we all need to burn a few calories!
4. It doesn’t require a trip to the mall. No parking needed. No creepy Santas.
5. It spreads Holiday cheer and joy. Who isn’t happy after fucking?!
6. It’s more desirable than socks, fruit cakes, or gawdy sweaters. No one wants that shit!
7. It’s relaxing. All that Holiday stress will just melt away.
8. It’s many gifts in one – oral, vaginal, anal, hand-jobs, and more!
9. It’ll bring you closer together… more so than the double-Snuggie!
10. Orgasms. The end.

Happy Holidays from us to you! Stop by for great stocking stuffers and sexy gifts!
Visit us online at www.thereddoorstore.com!

The Case for Masturbation Over Casual Sex…

I don’t often post things from a serious perspective. But, I’ve got some things on my mind that I wanted to share… Just stick with me!

You may not know it from my thoughts and musings, but I am a monogamous, 30-something, single mom. I bet you never would’ve guessed that I would be posting blogs for a sex shop. But, I happen to know a LOT about sex because I’ve always had very adventurous partners. In fact, my friends always call me a “monogamous freak”. It fits. So, trust me when I post something. I know what I am talking about… usually… unless it’s like, bestiality or necrophilia or something… NOT MY THING!!!

I think I’ve made the point before that I am very selective about who I have sex with, due to being a monogamous, 30-something, single mom… (and well, there’s this post that explains some more things about me). I have to be careful – for my child’s sake. In my opinion, I have to stay healthy and whole in order to be a good parent. And therefore, I do not risk my physical or emotional well-being for sex’s sake. I’m not a prude. Don’t get me wrong – I have slipped up from time to time and  have had sex outside of a relationship. I just think it’s dangerous territory for me. So, I don’t do it. It’s never gone right. I end up disappointed because of the sex.

Why? Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… It does not equal love. It does not make up for the things you lack in life. It only feels good while you’re doing it. And it can be downright disappointing physically and/or emotionally, if it’s not done right!

Sex feels good. Oh yes, it does! When your lover circles your pussy with his cock, then plunges in after what seems like forever, it feels like heaven on Earth. It’s like, the best thing EVER! And sex is good for you, too. It relaxes you. It has a bunch of proven health benefits, like headache and blood pressure reduction. Hell, it even burns calories!! Shit… forget your diet and have sex 4 times a day! You’ll look and feel awesome. But, I know that in order to feel good about my own sexual decisions, I have to feel good about the person I am being intimate with… When I don’t feel good about it, I always end up regretting it.

I bet you’re wondering at this point, “why is she even posting this? What a buzz kill!!” Right? I am writing this because I want you to remember you are a bar of gold. You are a valuable commodity. You’re body is your temple, and you do not want to disrespect your temple. Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… STD’s can be forever. Dick-bag boyfriends, or crazy girlfriends, can cause permanent damage. Is that temporary feeling of ecstasy worth it? Sometimes, it might be worth it. Sometimes…

For all those other times, fuck yourself. Masturbate. Take care of your own business. Hell, I know there have been times where I WISH I had masturbated instead of hooking up, either because the sex was lame or the emotional impact was too draining. Listen to me!!! Liberate yourself by taking charge of your own sexual pleasure. Why?

  • Masturbation will put your needs first
  • Masturbation will never give you an STD
  • Masturbation will never cheat on you
  • Masturbation will always let you cum first
  • Masturbation will never lie to you
  • Masturbation will never hurt your feelings
  • Masturbation will never waste your time
  • Masturbation will never make promises it can’t keep

Need more reasons? Here’s scientific reasons to pass on the meaningless sex and stick with the self-pleasure:

  • Masturbation helps you sleep
  • Masturbation relieves cramps and stress
  • Masturbation has been shown to prevent prostate cancer and alleviate UTI’s
  • Masturbation boosts your immunity
  • Masturbation has been shown to improve your mood
  • Masturbation tones pelvic and anal muscles
  • Masturbation lowers Risk Of Type 2 Diabetes

So, skip the dick-bags and the crazy bitches from time to time. Instead, check out our selection of solo toys and make yourself happy!

For the boys – Click Here!  For the gals – Click Here!

 

For the Ladies: The Do’s and Don’t of Casual Sex

Casual sex can mean different things to different people… In general, men have an easier time of separating sex from emotional connections. So, they can have sex casually without ever forming any attachments. Sex to them is simply a pleasurable recreational activity. To put it bluntly – They can hit it and quit it.

On the flip side, most women confuse sex with love. Why? It could be because women release the powerful hormone oxytocin during orgasms. Scientists believe that oxytocin causes women to create a strong emotional ties to sexual partners. So for this reason alone, my post is directed more towards my female audience.

Ok ladies… here are the dos and don’ts of casual sex to keep you in line and to avoid being hurt:

1. Be honest with yourself before you have casual sex. Why are you doing it? What do you want from it? If you are aware of your feelings, you can avoid potential hurt by having casual sex for the wrong reasons.

2. Be straightforward. Let whomever you have sex with know that it is for sex’s sake only.

3. Be realistic. Don’t get emotionally attached. THIS.IS.JUST.SEX. It will not develop into a relationship. It’s just physical fun. Remind yourself of this constantly!

4. Be safe. Use condoms and run background checks. Don’t take him home… People lie. They lie about their health. They lie about being “good guys”. The last thing you want from a little fun is an STD, a stalker, or worse… like being stuffed in a trunk!!

5. Don’t expect to be wined and dined. This is not dating. It is not about getting to know one another. It’s JUST SEX!

If you think you can handle it, casual sex can be a fun source of sexual release. You can be as wild and adventurous as you like! You can be as sexy as you want! Just be safe and be real.

Lube 101: The Do’s and Dont’s of Lubrication

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Lube can be a great addition to your sex life. It can enhance the pleasurable sensations of sex and masturbation. Lube can also aid with vaginal dryness or discomfort. It can also provide flavor during oral sex, which also increase salivation. Plus, when used with condoms, lube increases pleasure for both partners and decreases the risk of condom breakage.

The three main types of lube are:

  • Water-Based – Water-based lubes rinse off easily from skin and fabric. They are generally cheaper and easier to find than silicone-based lube. And, they are less likely to cause yeast infections.
  • Silicone-Based – Silicone lubes are oil-based, last longer than water-based lube, and are best for anal sex.
  • Flavored – Flavored lubes are usually a water-based lube with flavor added. They can come in a huge variety of flavors and are best for oral sex, especially when using a condom.

Do’s and Don’ts with lubrication:

DO: Know how to use lube. Add a drop inside the condom before sex to increase sensation for the man. Add a few drops to the outside of the condom to reduce friction and breakage. Reapply as needed.

DON’T: Use flavored lube that contains sugar for vaginal sex. The sugars in some flavored lube can cause yeast infections. Make sure you purchase a flavored lube that is sugar-free, if you plan to use it for vaginal sex.

DON’T: Use an oil-based product as lube with condoms or sex-toys. Oil-based products rapidly degrade latex condoms and many of the materials sex-toys are made of! Oil-based products include Vaseline, baby oil, olive oil, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and hand or body lotion. As a rule of thumb, do not use any cooking or beauty products as lube; only use products specifically designed for sex.

DO: Use lube for anal sex…. every time! Lube is a must for anal sex. Since the anus is not self-lubricating, anal sex without lube is painful and risky. Friction during anal sex can cause tears to the tissue, increasing risk of STIs, including HIV. To reduce tearing and increase pleasure, apply lube (and a condom) before penetration, and reapply as needed.

DO: Use silicone-based lube during anal sex. Because the anus and rectum absorb water, silicone-based lube lasts longer than water-based lube. If the only lube available to you is water-based lube, use it and reapply often.

And as always, we carry a HUGE selection of brands and styles of lubes: water-based, silicone, flavored, gel, organic, warming, cooling, stimulating, couple’s, hybrid, and more!

http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/lotions-and-potions/lubes