sex tips for parents

Dating and Married Men

Before you immediately get yourself in a big huff, this post is NOT about dating married men! So simmer down and relax! No, no… this post is about my experience as a single woman, and the myriad of married men who contact me on dating websites. It’s my thoughts about why this happens. And, it’s hopefully a eye-opener for both the married men on the sites, and the women who are married to them!

I’ve been single for about 7 months. During that time, I have been on just about every popular dating website – Match, POF, OkCupid, etc. And while on these sites, I cannot count the number of times a married man has messaged me. I’d estimate it at about 2 a week. Mind you, these are the ones who were honest about the fact that they were married. Who knows how many are out there that are lying about their relationship status.

After about the 5th message from a married man, I set aside my dismay and anger, and began to wonder… Why are they on here? Why are they messaging me? Why do they want to cheat on their wives? So, being a curious person, I asked. Yes, I asked. And surprisingly enough, many of them answered in very candid ways.

What did I find out? The most common responses were something along these lines:

“My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore.”
“My wife and I do have sex, but it’s very boring and I need a change.”

Overall, they all expressed their love for their wives. They all said they were otherwise happy and wanted to stay married. But, the common denominator was a lack of satisfaction in their sex lives.

This saddens me. I believe that a fulfilling sex life with your partner is one of the key ingredients to a long-lasting and happy relationship. And, you can’t have a successful love-life without communication. But, it’s one of the last things we as couples feel comfortable discussing. Much of this has to do with societal norms, upbringing, etc. But, it’s something we need to address and change. You should be able to talk about sex with your partner!

And here is my response to the married men who are seeking sex outside of their relationships…

TALK TO YOUR WIVES! Go to her first. Talk to her. Tell her your needs and desires. If you are otherwise happy, you should be able to talk to her about such intimate matters. Maybe she would be willing to try some of the things you want to try. You never know unless you ask. Give her the chance to hear you out!

Furthermore, ask yourself a question – are you being reasonable? Maybe the things you are interested in are not reasonable requests for a happily married couple to experience. If you are basing your desires on porn, realize that those are actors and not everyone does those things. And the threesome you’ve always wanted? That doesn’t happen often and isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

Finally, are you being sensitive? Perhaps she doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore because you are not being sensitive to HER needs. Women need affection and support in order to feel turned-on by their partner. Maybe she resents how little you help out, or how little time you spend with her. Or, could it be that you are not taking the time to make sure she is satisfied? Women need a lot more time, dedication, and stimulation to achieve orgasm. If you are taking care of your needs, and your needs only, I don’t blame her for giving up on sex!

And here is my response to WOMEN of married men who are seeking sex outside of their relationships…

TALK TO YOUR HUSBANDS! Go to him. Talk to him. Tell him your needs and desires. Tell him what you need in order to feel sexy and desired. Tell him what you need to make sex feel better for you. Tell him what you need in order to create time and energy for sex. Give him a chance to learn and change his ways. He’s not a mind-read and he needs you to TELL HIM what you want out of sex!

Or, have you given up on sex? How about on being sexy? I know you work hard, and take care of the kids, and have groceries to get. But, keep in mind that most men are very sexual creatures. Your relationship with him, and the sex he craves, should come before all of those other things in life. I am not saying devote all your time and attention to him. I am saying find a balance. Cut out one activity or obligation a week, and make time for sex!

Finally, don’t be afraid to spice things up. Just because he wants to try a strap-on, or anal, or watching a porn together does NOT mean he is not happy with you. It means that he needs a little something extra and wants to try it with YOU! Be open to the possibilities within your comfort zone. Don’t immediately shut him down. You never know…  you might awaken things within yourself you never thought were possible. You might experience a greater intimacy and satisfaction with your husband.

If it’s something you are willing to work on together, you could connect ways you thought were long gone. A marriage is such an important relationship, and sex should not be the reason why it falls apart. This is especially true in this day and age. Using adult toys, and talking about sex in the media, are much more accepted. There are all sorts of toys and accessories designed especially with couples in mind. And, the options for improving your sex life in the adult toy world are abundant! There’s honestly no reason for a man to look outside of his relationship for sex… nor for a woman to be unsatisfied with sex!

Need ideas… Here are couples toys that could change your sex life:

We Vibe 4 – The world’s no. 1 couples vibrator, completely redesigned for better fit, heightened intensity and more control. She wears it during sex for extra stimulation to her clitoris and G-spot. Together you both share the vibe.

Hump, Bump & Vibe – This discrete cushion elevates the hips for ultimate penetration and g-spot stimulation. Plus, the included bullet makes for extra pleasure by stimulating the clitoris.

OVO B7 Vibrating Cock Ring – The German Designed B7 Pleasure Ring from OVO is rounded for comfortable use and features a dynamic and modern shape. The B7 is showerproof, whisper quiet and constructed of lead-free, phthalate-free, 100% body-safe silicone material. The ring will give him a longer, stronger erection, while the vibe is designed to stroke her clitoris for maximum pleasure.

Luna Beads Mini – Luna Beads are the world’s bestselling Kegel weights system. They ensure that every woman can find her perfect fit for the most effective pelvic floor workout. LELO’s elegant update on the classic ben wa balls offers users longer, stronger, more attainable orgasms; reduced risk of incontinence and other pelvic floor disorders; and a faster return to tone and tightness after giving birth.

Encounter Clitoral/G-spot Lube – New Encounter Female Lubricants are a unique line of specially formulated lubricants to meet the needs and desires of the female body. Amazing Encounter. Using paraben free ingredients and non glycerin based formulations, Encounter Female Lubricants offer women a range of personal care products specifically designed to enhance pleasure with comfort and ease.

Anal Ese – This desensitizing lubricant makes anal penetration more comfortable and pleasurable.

Liquid V – The power of the V has arrived!! Liquid V is the strongest female stimulating product on the market today. It is formulated to help increase stimulation and blood flow to the clitoris and amplify the strength of female climax while producing a warm tingling sensation that women love.

Max Size Cream – A great complement to MaxSize tablets, MaxSize Cream is the only topical erectile enhancement that delivers immediate results. Applied generously MaxSize Cream engorges the penis giving men a firm long lasting erection. With a cooling, heated tingly sensation your partner will love it too. Lightly flavored with mint making it edible.

Get Wet: Sex in the Shower

1422c03936a3a7edIf you’re anything like me, you’ve had sex in just about every room in your house – the kitchen, the living room, the basement den, the back deck (not a room, I know. But, hey…). And one of the easiest places to get it on is the one room where you spend the most time naked – the bathroom!! There’s nothing steamier than having sex in the shower.

Let me tell you why you should have sex in the shower (as if you needed convincing):

1. You’ll save time by lathering up and getting it on.
2. It’s instant clean-up and mess free!
3. You’ll be saving water, which helps the environment.
4. Slippery bodies glide against each other more easily.
5. A partner can reach those hard to get places.
6. You can adjust the water temp to fit your mood.
7. Adjustable shower heads make for great stimulation.
8. The water rushing down your skin adds another level of sensation.
9. Warm water actually makes arousal more likely.
10. It provides privacy when there may not be any.

But, before you go running to the bathroom to start the taps to flowing, check out these tips:

  • Water-based lubricants will not last as long in the shower. So, use a good, silicone-based lube like System Jo’s Premium lubricant. By using the right lube, you can have long-lasting shower fun!
  • Make sure your toys are submersible and appropriate for the shower! Not any toy can get that wet. So, I suggest Sex in the Shower’s vibrating sponge or the WeVibe Tango. Both are safe for use in the shower and will provided loads of watery fun.
  • Play it safe. Grab some handles or foot rests from Sex in the Shower. These sturdy, suction cup accessories make positioning easier and safer!
  • Read up on the best positions for steamy sex in the water. Check out Cosmo’s Aqua Kama Sutra! This completely water-proof  book will make every water adventure a success. Packed with colorful illustrations, detailed instructions, and aqua sex tips, it’s so hot you’ll NEED to be in water to cool down.

So start lathering each other up into a frenzy! It’s never been more fun to get dirty while getting clean!

The Secrets to a Great Sex Life…

Things just haven’t worked out for me the way I imagined they would in the romance department. So, I am single and spend a fair amount of time thinking about what I do and don’t want out of a partner. Sex is a very important part of who I am. So that means I want and need a partner that I am extremely attracted to, passionate about, and sexually compatible with in. And so for me, a huge part of a successful relationship would include a great sex life.

So, what are the things that make up a great sex life? I’ve given this a lot of thought and here’s my list:

1. COMMUNICATION –  If you can’t talk about sex, I don’t think you can have a decent sex life! You should be able to tell your partner what you like and don’t like. If you need something more, you should be able to share your needs with your partner. If you want to explore something new, you should be able to share your desires. All of these things won’t happen if the communication is bad in your relationship. So, you need to feel comfortable being able to talk openly and honestly about your sex life! But beyond that, you need to be able to speak the language of sex. If you are afraid to say penis, vagina, clitoris, foreplay, etc., how are you going to ever explain what feels good to you?

2. FOREPLAY – Working each other up into a frenzy can go a long way in creating a great sex life. For starters, it gets the blood flowing in your erogenous zones. This will increase stimulation during actual intercourse. Also, for women, prolonged foreplay is often the only way they achieve orgasm, either through oral sex or manual stimulation. And a happy woman is more likely to make sure her partner is happy. But, when I talk about foreplay, I am not just talking about kissing, fondling, and oral sex. I am also talking about sending each other sexy text messages, taking hot showers together, giving each other massages, holding hands in public, whispering in each others ears, and so much more. Foreplay is anything that keeps you connected and makes you WANT sex.

3. VARIETY – Variety is supposedly the “spice of life”. But, it also the biggest ingredient to an awesome sex life! If you vow to mix things up from time to time, to try new things and keep things fresh, you’ll never get bored with each other. Experiment with new positions, buy new lingerie, have sex in a different room of the house, role play, try new toys or lubes… just do anything you can to make things interesting, as often as you can! Even small changes can increase the passion in your sex life!

So speak up, spend time on each other, and mix things up! Even spending a little extra time doing these three things could add up to more fulfilling, engaging, and passionate sex.

Sex and the Holidays: a How-To Guide

santa_claus_sexyThe Holiday season is a wonderful time of year. It’s about family and friends, joy and love, giving and receiving. You’re attending parties and connecting with your loved ones. You’re spending time at home with your family, or they’re excitedly traveling to see you. Overall, most of us are happily spreading the cheerful spirit of the season as we go about our days. It’s just an all-around, feel-good time of year.

But, let’s face it… running around town for gifts, spending money, having a full social calendar, and spending time with your family can all be stressful, even if it’s a joyful kind of stress! And so we may neglect our sex lives due to stress or lack of time. But, this is exactly why you should make a point of sneaking in sex as much as possible during the Holidays! Sex is a natural way to bring you closer to someone you love AND relieves stress. It’s a 2-for-1 gift for the Holidays!

So, how do you make time for sex during the Holidays? Well, whether you’re busy or visiting family, there is a way! Here’s our how-to guide for sex and the Holidays:

1. Make use of the shower – Lock the door, jump in together, lather each other up, and sneak in a wet quickie!

2. Fake a nap – Pretend you both need a nap after all the fun, and run off to the bedroom for a hushed romp. Muffling the noise will only make things hotter! I promise!

3. Run “errands” – Pop out to pick up some last-minute items from the store and find a secluded parking lot. Jump in the back seat and make like teenagers!

4. Afternoon delight – Busy in the evenings? Make a lunch date with your lover and rush home for a quickie. With the edge off, the office party that evening won’t seem so lame.

5. Speaking of parties… At the office? Sneak off to the nearest single-user bathroom. At a friend’s or family member’s house? Find a secluded closet or make your way to the basement bathroom!

6. Pull a Santa Claus – Wait until everyone is nestled in bed with vision of sugar plums dancing in their heads, then have a late, late night romp.

7. Skip the main course – If time is really tight, skip sex and just stick with foreplay. Hand-jobs and finger-fucks can get the job done much more quickly!

8. Make a naughty list – Each of you write down 12 naughty things you’d like to do over the Holidays. Then, make it a challenge to see how many items you can check off your naughty list!

9. Give the gift of oral – Give him a blow-job, or go down on her… without expecting anything in return but some moans and a sexy “thank you”!

10. Use toys – Toys don’t require full nudity, or even much discretion. Grab a masturbator for him, and help him get off while you’re on that long drive home to visit family. Grab a remote-controlled bullet for her, and return the favor.

However you decide to please each other over the Holidays, make time for sex! I promise you’ll feel even jollier!! And with that, we wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Joyful Winter Solstice, Happy New Year, and more to all of our friends and fans!!

 

Why you should give the gift of sex…

sexy-christmas-santa-hatIt’s the Holiday season. You have a long list of things to do, gifts to get, and people to see. You may think you don’t have time for sex. Maybe you’re too stressed out to fool around. Perhaps the family is around, and you don’t want them all up in your business. But, you should make time for sex, whenever and wherever possible during the Holidays. Think about it… sex is about giving and receiving pleasure. So naturally, that makes sex the perfect gift – for yourself and your partner! Here’s why:

1. It’s free! That’s right… it doesn’t cost one red cent!
2. It’s a gift you can both enjoy, any time, all year-round.
3. It burns calories. And with all those Holiday meals, we all need to burn a few calories!
4. It doesn’t require a trip to the mall. No parking needed. No creepy Santas.
5. It spreads Holiday cheer and joy. Who isn’t happy after fucking?!
6. It’s more desirable than socks, fruit cakes, or gawdy sweaters. No one wants that shit!
7. It’s relaxing. All that Holiday stress will just melt away.
8. It’s many gifts in one – oral, vaginal, anal, hand-jobs, and more!
9. It’ll bring you closer together… more so than the double-Snuggie!
10. Orgasms. The end.

Happy Holidays from us to you! Stop by for great stocking stuffers and sexy gifts!
Visit us online at www.thereddoorstore.com!