Making a Sexy To-Do List…

I am pretty sure that I am not like most women… or men, for that matter, when it comes to sex. I think about sex a LOT! And yes, men probably think about sex as much as I do. But, I bet most of them don’t think of the in the way that I do. Most men just think about doing it. Period. I think about all the fun and creative things I can do during sex. I think about role play ideas. I think about different positions for sex, or places to have sex. Basically, I am often making a mental to-do list for my sex life.

And honestly, you should be making one, too…

Why? For one thing, it’s fun! Thinking about your sexy to-do list is certainly more fun than thinking about the chores you need to do this evening. Also, it’s a form of daydreaming… and daydreaming helps to relieve stress and boredom. But most of all, it gives you a powerful tool for maintaining a healthy love-life…. VARIETY! Variety in your love-life keeps you connected, excited, and coming back for more. So, make a sexy to-do list. Put anything and everything you’ve been dying to try on the list.

But, what do you do with the list once you’ve made it? First, tell you partner you’ve got all these fun ideas for your love-life. Get them on board with making their own list. Then, share your lists with one another. In fact, make it a date! Decide on a mutual to-do list, one you both can agree on with things from each persons list. Next, jot the to-do items on slips of paper. Keep the slips of paper in a box or jar by the bed. Every now and then, take turns pulling an item out of the jar and start crossing things off your list!

Need ideas? Here are a few of the items on my sexy to-do list…

• Sex in a hot tub – It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to fuck in a hot tub. And hot tubs are an awesome spot for girl-on-top sex!
• Wear a wireless bullet in public – Surprisingly, I’ve never done this! I’ve had partners talk about it, but never commit to doing it!
• Ride a face – Another one that I haven’t done in a while… but, oh so fun!
• Be completely tied up – I’ve been partially restrained, but would love to be completely restrained… and then teased and fucked!
• Use edible body paint – I’ve used this before. But, I had a new idea for it. I want my lover to paint my clit with it, then lick the paint off. Then I want my lover to repeat this pattern over… and over… and over again!
• Have sex outside – I’ve done this plenty! But it’s been too cold. And now that the weather is warmer…
• Use my We-Vibe 4 – I just got one recently and need to break it in! I want to use it for double penetration, ASAP!
• Dress up for my partner – Yes, dress up! I want to put on heels, stockings and garters, a sexy bra and panty set, and a sexy dress. I want him to know what’s under the dress, take me to dinner, and have to wait to reap the rewards!
• Use an accommodator – This is a chin-strap with a dong attached to it. Oh boy, would this be fun with a face ride!
• Role play for my partner – I want to know what his fantasy is, and then act it out for him.
• Buy a piece of sex furniture – I am dying for a piece of Liberator sex furniture! It would be awesome to have one!!
• Shop for new toys and/or lingerie with my partner – It’s more fun to pick it out together.

Sexual Fantasies and XXX Daydreaming

So, I am 100% pro-fantasy. In fact, if you could read my mind, you’d see I fantasize a LOT! Sometimes, it’s like there’s a XXX movie playing in my head. I’m a creative person. Maybe that’s why I’m constantly coming up with scenarios for my sex life. It frustrates Mr. Big, my partner. I’ve heard him say on more than one occasion, “It’s like the Rolling Stones, honey… we can’t play all our greatest hits in one night!!!” Bless his heart. I think I exhaust him…

I know not all of my fantasies can or will come true. But, it never hurts to dream… right?

Like for instance, I was in training the other day and this cute, butch woman was leading the training. What did I do? I spent part of the class fantasizing about pussy grinding… PUSSY GRINDING. What did I take away from the class? That I want to pussy grind as soon as possible. I want to find a hot woman, get naked, and rub against her. Yep.

Or, the other night, Mr. Big was talking about watching the series OZ, a prison drama that HBO produced a decade ago. What did I do? I started fantasizing about some big, buff prison thug making my lover his bitch. In this fantasy, I am the prison warden, watching it all play out, waiting for my turn with the billy club…. Mr. Big was not entirely thrilled with my fantasy, but he was amused.

What’s wrong with these little mini-pornos running through my mind from time to time? Well, other than not having enough time, energy or partner, there’s nothing wrong with a little fantasizing!

Everyone has sexual fantasies, from the mundane to the down right freak-a-licious! Think about it… Most of you have had fantasies about having sex in a public place like a bathroom or the hood of a car. Lots of you have had fantasies of threesomes or watching your partner have sex with someone else. A lot of women fantasize about girl-on-girl. We’re human. We daydream. And, fantasies are healthy. They can increase your arousal during sex. Plus, fantasies allow you to do things you would not do in real life, and the outcome is always positive. It’s a win-win!

So, you don’t want to keep daydreaming like me? Then you may be asking yourself, “how do I make my fantasies come true?” I can’t tell you a step-by-step for every fantasy you may have. There’s honestly not enough blog space for just MY fantasies. And, keep in mind that I am not a licensed couple’s counselor, nor a sex therapist. But, I can help you open up the dialogue with your partner. Here’s my advice:

Test the waters – Start by showing your partner a porn with a scenario you’d like to act out. Then, ask them what they think of that scenario. Your partner should be pretty honest with you about it under those circumstances, and you’ll be able to gauge whether revealing more is a possibility. You could also present your fantasy as a wild dream you had and see how your partner reacts. Or, ask them to visit a sex shop with you and see what they gravitate towards.

Ease it into conversation SLOWLY – I think it’s best to start small. In my opinion, you should never go for a full reveal if you don’t think your partner is that adventurous. In other words, if you want to reveal your ideas, don’t do it all at once. You may intimidate, scare, or alienate your partner by rushing things. If you think your partner is open to a threesome, ask them what would turn them on about the fantasy. Getting them to open up to you will make it easier for you to discuss your ideas.

The theme here is communication! You honestly will never know unless you ask. Once you begin having these conversation with your partner, you open the door to a greater level of sexual creativity between the two of you!