sex after a break up

The Case for Masturbation Over Casual Sex…

I don’t often post things from a serious perspective. But, I’ve got some things on my mind that I wanted to share… Just stick with me!

You may not know it from my thoughts and musings, but I am a monogamous, 30-something, single mom. I bet you never would’ve guessed that I would be posting blogs for a sex shop. But, I happen to know a LOT about sex because I’ve always had very adventurous partners. In fact, my friends always call me a “monogamous freak”. It fits. So, trust me when I post something. I know what I am talking about… usually… unless it’s like, bestiality or necrophilia or something… NOT MY THING!!!

I think I’ve made the point before that I am very selective about who I have sex with, due to being a monogamous, 30-something, single mom… (and well, there’s this post that explains some more things about me). I have to be careful – for my child’s sake. In my opinion, I have to stay healthy and whole in order to be a good parent. And therefore, I do not risk my physical or emotional well-being for sex’s sake. I’m not a prude. Don’t get me wrong – I have slipped up from time to time and  have had sex outside of a relationship. I just think it’s dangerous territory for me. So, I don’t do it. It’s never gone right. I end up disappointed because of the sex.

Why? Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… It does not equal love. It does not make up for the things you lack in life. It only feels good while you’re doing it. And it can be downright disappointing physically and/or emotionally, if it’s not done right!

Sex feels good. Oh yes, it does! When your lover circles your pussy with his cock, then plunges in after what seems like forever, it feels like heaven on Earth. It’s like, the best thing EVER! And sex is good for you, too. It relaxes you. It has a bunch of proven health benefits, like headache and blood pressure reduction. Hell, it even burns calories!! Shit… forget your diet and have sex 4 times a day! You’ll look and feel awesome. But, I know that in order to feel good about my own sexual decisions, I have to feel good about the person I am being intimate with… When I don’t feel good about it, I always end up regretting it.

I bet you’re wondering at this point, “why is she even posting this? What a buzz kill!!” Right? I am writing this because I want you to remember you are a bar of gold. You are a valuable commodity. You’re body is your temple, and you do not want to disrespect your temple. Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… STD’s can be forever. Dick-bag boyfriends, or crazy girlfriends, can cause permanent damage. Is that temporary feeling of ecstasy worth it? Sometimes, it might be worth it. Sometimes…

For all those other times, fuck yourself. Masturbate. Take care of your own business. Hell, I know there have been times where I WISH I had masturbated instead of hooking up, either because the sex was lame or the emotional impact was too draining. Listen to me!!! Liberate yourself by taking charge of your own sexual pleasure. Why?

  • Masturbation will put your needs first
  • Masturbation will never give you an STD
  • Masturbation will never cheat on you
  • Masturbation will always let you cum first
  • Masturbation will never lie to you
  • Masturbation will never hurt your feelings
  • Masturbation will never waste your time
  • Masturbation will never make promises it can’t keep

Need more reasons? Here’s scientific reasons to pass on the meaningless sex and stick with the self-pleasure:

  • Masturbation helps you sleep
  • Masturbation relieves cramps and stress
  • Masturbation has been shown to prevent prostate cancer and alleviate UTI’s
  • Masturbation boosts your immunity
  • Masturbation has been shown to improve your mood
  • Masturbation tones pelvic and anal muscles
  • Masturbation lowers Risk Of Type 2 Diabetes

So, skip the dick-bags and the crazy bitches from time to time. Instead, check out our selection of solo toys and make yourself happy!

For the boys – Click Here!  For the gals – Click Here!

 

For the Ladies: The Do’s and Don’t of Casual Sex

Casual sex can mean different things to different people… In general, men have an easier time of separating sex from emotional connections. So, they can have sex casually without ever forming any attachments. Sex to them is simply a pleasurable recreational activity. To put it bluntly – They can hit it and quit it.

On the flip side, most women confuse sex with love. Why? It could be because women release the powerful hormone oxytocin during orgasms. Scientists believe that oxytocin causes women to create a strong emotional ties to sexual partners. So for this reason alone, my post is directed more towards my female audience.

Ok ladies… here are the dos and don’ts of casual sex to keep you in line and to avoid being hurt:

1. Be honest with yourself before you have casual sex. Why are you doing it? What do you want from it? If you are aware of your feelings, you can avoid potential hurt by having casual sex for the wrong reasons.

2. Be straightforward. Let whomever you have sex with know that it is for sex’s sake only.

3. Be realistic. Don’t get emotionally attached. THIS.IS.JUST.SEX. It will not develop into a relationship. It’s just physical fun. Remind yourself of this constantly!

4. Be safe. Use condoms and run background checks. Don’t take him home… People lie. They lie about their health. They lie about being “good guys”. The last thing you want from a little fun is an STD, a stalker, or worse… like being stuffed in a trunk!!

5. Don’t expect to be wined and dined. This is not dating. It is not about getting to know one another. It’s JUST SEX!

If you think you can handle it, casual sex can be a fun source of sexual release. You can be as wild and adventurous as you like! You can be as sexy as you want! Just be safe and be real.

Sexy Ways to Survive Your Break-up!

I recently went through a break-up and it sucks! I’m not going to lie. I didn’t WANT to break up with my man. But, I also didn’t want to continue being with someone who couldn’t love me or take care of me the way I want and need to be loved and cared for. And even though I was the one who dumped him, it still hurts… and well, I’m sometimes lonely and bored without him because now I have more time to fill.

Maybe you’re in the same boat as me… just tired of bullshit and preferring to be alone. Or, maybe you were the one who was dumped. That REALLY sucks! Being dumped can really crush the spirit for a while. You’re going to be lonely and depressed until you realize it’s probably for the best that things happened the way they did.

But whether you were the dumper or dumpee, there are lots of sexy things to help you cope with a break-up…

1. Grab some condoms and have a one night stand… or three.

Now, I am not one to promote casual sex. It’s just not my thing. But, a SAFE, random romp with a stranger can temporarily make you feel sexy, wanted, and free. The sex can be as wild and uninhibited as you want it to be. And, a few one night stands will help ease the sexual tension you may feel as the result of losing your partner. Just remember to stop by our store and pick up some of the wide variety of condoms we sell. AND remember, it’s just s.e.x. It’s not a relationship and will likely never go anywhere. If you can do that, you can get the ego boost and sexual release that will help you over the break-up hump.

2. Masturbate… a lot.

The time after a break-up can be tough if you enjoyed the sex. So, invest in a high-quality sex toy or masturbator to ease the tension. Hey, a sex toy is a lot less complicated than a one night stand or friend with benefits… and a lot safer. Also, sex toys won’t make you feel miserable. They won’t hurt your feelings. They won’t bug you or blow up your phone. And, there are some AMAZING toys out there that almost make another person irrelevant. And pleasing yourself will help you resist the urge to run back to your ex just for the sake of sex!

For guys, I suggest a Tenga Fliphole. These toys won’t cause drama and are a lot cheaper than having a girlfriend!

For gals, I suggest any one of the OVO Rabbits. These toys are affordable, powerful, and durable… Probably more powerful and durable than your last boyfriend… and most likely much more dependable!

3. Update your underwear.

I know this might sound like a weird suggestion. But, hear me out… You wore that underwear to turn him or her on. So, chuck it! Burn it in the fireplace. Cut it up and mail it to him/her in a package. Whatever you do, get rid of it all. Then, come by one of our stores and pick up some sexy new underthings for guys or gals! Having sexy new underwear can really make you feel better. Just knowing you have on something underneath your jeans can make you exude an air of sexiness. And that will surely attract new people into your life… or at least give you back a little swagger in your walk.

4. Flirt… a lot.

It can take a while to let go of the feelings from a break-up, whether you were the dumper or dumpee. And, maybe you are not ready to rejoin the dating world because you don’t want new drama, or are afraid of getting hurt. But, you can and should flirt. Flirting boosts your ego, makes you smile, and is completely harmless. It will remind you that you are sexy and desirable. And even if you just aren’t ready for that next step, it will help you to see that there are a lot of fish in the sea.

5. Learn from it.

Learning from your mistakes is sexy. Why? Because knowing your needs and wants makes you a more confident person, and therefore a sexier person. Next time, you’ll know more about what you do and don’t want/need. You’ll look for someone who is interested in fulfilling your desires, as much as they are interested in having theirs fulfilled. You won’t settle for less. That knowledge confidence, and power is all extremely sexy!