sex after 40

Low Sex Drive?

If you’d met me two years ago, you would have never believed I would end up suffering from a low sex drive. I loved sex. I was adventurous – liked anal, bondage, S&M, women and men, and more. My then boyfriend and I had sex twice a day, and I enjoyed it every time. But things change… I broke up with said boyfriend after 5 years of an on again, off again relationship. Bummer. Then, I met someone I felt good about. Four months later, they dumped me via text. Bummer. And finally, I met someone who changed my life for the better. Good news, right? Yes, but it also coincided with me turning 40 and my sex drive plummeting. Major bummer. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with my partner. I do. I really do. It’s that my age, body, and more have ganged up against me to crush my once amazing sex drive.

Turns out I’m normal and that low libido is a common issue in men and women my age or older. So what causes low sex drive? It can vary from person to person, but here are the most common reasons…

For both women and men, there are many physical issues that can cause low libido. These include prescription medicines, high blood pressure, thyroid problems, too little sleep, too little or too much exercise, and alcohol and drug use. There are also many psychological issues, including depression, stress, changes in relationship status, and relationship problems. For women, pregnancy, menopause or illness can decrease sex drive. For men, low testosterone can affect the sex drive.

So what can you do about a low sex drive?

1. See a doctor – The first thing you should do is schedule an appointment with your doctor. Ruling out any health issues is absolutely the first step! There are so many underlying physical reasons for a low libido. It’s best to check with your doctor to make sure everything is running smoothly and that you are in good health.

2. Talk to your partner – Opening up to your partner about your low sex drive is important for maintaining healthy sexual communication. Let them know you are feeling this way. If it’s not because of relationship issues, it’s important to let them know. This can decrease insecurities and create understanding. If it IS because of relationship issues, this is the first step in talking things out. How can someone help you if they don’t know what the problem is?

3. Keep a journal – If your low libido is definitely NOT health related, then what is it? Start keeping a sex journal. When you are not in the mood, jot it down. When you are in the mood, jot it down. Notice a pattern? Maybe lack of sleep, stressful days at work, or not enough alone time without the kids are causing the decrease in desire. Maybe the weeks you exercise more, the less sex you want. Getting to know yourself and your habits can help you create a plan to maximizing your sex drive.

4. Try something different – If things just aren’t working, it’s time to try something different. Relationship problems? Maybe it’s time to break-up or seek counseling. Not enough time? Maybe it’s time to schedule a mini getaway. Stressed? Maybe it’s time to cut back on work or extra activities. Bored? Maybe it’s time to try some new toys or sex positions. Whatever it is that isn’t working, get rid of it, even if just for a little while.

5. Get healthier – Taking care of your mental and physical well-being are keys to a healthy sex life, with or without low libido. So take care of yourself! Low-stress exercise such as yoga has been known to help with libido. Supplements such as DHEA and the Mediterranean diet have also been known to help with libido. Even drinking enough water and getting enough sleep have been shown to help with libido.

6. Make time for intimacy – Even if you are not in the mood for sex, make time for intimacy. Carve out time with your partner every day for closeness – snuggling on the couch, showering together, spooning in bed, enjoying a cup of coffee or wine without distractions. Sex is important in a relationship, but it isn’t everything. Intimacy is what keeps you together. And with increased intimacy, there’s usually an increase in sex drive.

It’s important to remember you are not alone. As many as 66% of women over 45, and 40% of men over 45, report suffering from a low sex drive. Definitely seek out the help of your doctor, no matter how embarrassing the conversation may be. And remember that where there is a will, there is a way. Don’t give up on your sex life!

Be Smooth, Play HARD: Glass, Ceramic, and Metal Sex Toys

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When you think of sex toys, you probably envision the traditional dildo or dong… a brightly colored, rubbery toy that’s easy to fling around and use as a weapon (if you’re feeling silly). And truth be told, despite the often humorous appearance of these toys, they can feel really amazing when used for pleasure. Many of them even have life-like appearances and feels. Good ones can come pretty close to mimicking the real deal. And if you add in vibrations, rotating beads, and rabbit-heads? Well, watch the fuck out! You’re definitely going to have a good time or two… or four…

But have you ever craved something different? Have you wanted to try something a little edgier? Or, maybe your body doesn’t like the traditional toys. You get yeast infections, or are allergic to the materials…

Well, I have a sexy solution for both of those problems – glass, ceramic, and metal sex toys!

Let me tell you about the more erotic benefits first:

  • To begin with, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are extremely hard, unbreakable in fact. And they tend to be heavy. The hard and heavy nature of these toys creates an entirely different sensation, compared to traditional toys, when used vaginally or anally. And they tend to have more heft, and therefore pressure, in the orifice of choice!
  • Traditional toys have much more friction due to their rubbery surface. Glass, ceramic, and metal toys are completely smooth. Their smooth surface has almost zero friction. The in-and-out sensation is more like a glide. This makes them perfect to use as anal toys because the reduced friction makes for easier penetration.
  • Unlike traditional toys, glass, ceramic, and metal toys can hold heat and cold. Pop them in ice water or warm water, and you’ll have an instantly different feeling!

And what about the health benefits?

  • Unlike traditional toys, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are non-porous. This means they will not hold onto bacteria like traditional toys. So, if you are prone to yeast or bacterial infections, these are the perfect toys for you!
  • Many people are allergic to the materials of traditional toys. Glass, ceramic, and metal toys are free from silicone, rubber, latex, and phthalates!

And then there are the practical benefits:

  • You can use any type of lube with these types of toys. Plus, their smooth surface means you can use less lube, AND the lube will last even longer than on traditional toys.
  • They are extremely durable and will last forever. The materials won’t degrade and there are no parts to break!
  • Also, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are extremely easy to clean. You can just pop them in the dishwasher!

Curious and want to try out a glass, ceramic, or metal toy? Let me suggest a few of my favorites…

Metal Worx Slim Fave – This is a luxurious, metal, dual-ended pleasure probe. Cast in high quality steel and hand-polished to perfection, this all-in-one exciter is perfect for vaginal or anal play and equal parts art and pleasure. The hygienic metal finish is sleek, non-porous, and easy to clean, while the design is body-inspired and made to excite.

Icicles #7 – Hand-crafted with amazing attention to detail, this luxurious glass massager will leave you breathless. This glass wand is sleek, unique, and made to play hard. And, the pleasure bubbles will glide effortlessly against all the right places!

Don Wands Real Tip Rocket Blue – Beautiful to look at, fun to play with! This realistically shaped glass toy will never lose it’s erection!

Overall, glass, ceramic and metal toys are a highly erotic, body-safe, AND an exciting way to add something new to your sex life! So, don’t be shy… Give one of these toys a try! I promise you won’t be disappointed!

Sexy New Year’s Resolutions for 2014

It’s that time of year again… The Holidays are drawing to a close. The year is almost over. And, we are all gearing up for New Year’s Eve celebrations.

If you are like most people, you’re thinking of resolutions for the new year. Even if you don’t call them resolutions, we all promise ourselves that we’ll do something differently in the coming year. This year, skip the promises to eat right, exercise more, drink less… Make resolutions you’ll actually keep! Research has shown that the more you want it, the more likely you are to keep a resolution. And what do we all want more than anything? HOT SEX!!

So, here are my sexy New Year’s resolutions for 2014:

1. Be more spontaneous – Don’t forget the old adage: where there is a will, there is a way! When the mood strikes you, make it happen. But don’t just make this about spontaneous sex… include random kisses, hugs, groping, and compliments. All of these things will make your sex life sexier!

2. Try new things – As much as possible, experiment with new positions in the bedroom. Or, try new toys or play accessories. Hell, thinking of new places to have sex can spice things up. And here’s a way to help you keep things new and exciting: write all the new things you want to try on little slips of paper, then throw them in the jar. As often as possible, draw one from the jar and make it happen!

3. Communicate – Seems simple, right? Well, most people do not talk to their partners about what they want and need. Make this your year to open up about sex and tell them what you like, how often you want it, and why you like it!

4. Get kinky – Being kinky doesn’t mean you have to delve into the BDSM lifestyle. But, adding a little bit of kink can go a long way to having sexier sex in the new year. Haven’t watched porn together? Do it. Want to try some bondage? Buy some silk rope. Never role-played? Buy the school girl outfit.

5. Stop making excuses – Headaches, lack of time, lack of desire… we all have excuses for why we don’t have sex. But, even a little foreplay can go a long way in making you happier and your relationship stronger. So, find the time to please and be pleased.

6. Be intimate – Sex does not equal intimacy. But, the more intimate you are with each other, the more you’ll want sex, and the more fulfilling it will be. So, take warm showers with each other, snuggle, hold hands, massage each other, hug… Anything that brings you closer together is well worth the effort and will make for a better 2014!

Need more reasons to have more sex in 2014? Check out this related article from CNN, about the benefits of having sex: New Year’s resolution: Have more sex. Turns out that sex is good for you! So, if you wanted to be healthier in the new year, have more sex!!

Here’s to a happy, healthy, prosperous, and sexy 2014!!

The Case for Masturbation Over Casual Sex…

I don’t often post things from a serious perspective. But, I’ve got some things on my mind that I wanted to share… Just stick with me!

You may not know it from my thoughts and musings, but I am a monogamous, 30-something, single mom. I bet you never would’ve guessed that I would be posting blogs for a sex shop. But, I happen to know a LOT about sex because I’ve always had very adventurous partners. In fact, my friends always call me a “monogamous freak”. It fits. So, trust me when I post something. I know what I am talking about… usually… unless it’s like, bestiality or necrophilia or something… NOT MY THING!!!

I think I’ve made the point before that I am very selective about who I have sex with, due to being a monogamous, 30-something, single mom… (and well, there’s this post that explains some more things about me). I have to be careful – for my child’s sake. In my opinion, I have to stay healthy and whole in order to be a good parent. And therefore, I do not risk my physical or emotional well-being for sex’s sake. I’m not a prude. Don’t get me wrong – I have slipped up from time to time and  have had sex outside of a relationship. I just think it’s dangerous territory for me. So, I don’t do it. It’s never gone right. I end up disappointed because of the sex.

Why? Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… It does not equal love. It does not make up for the things you lack in life. It only feels good while you’re doing it. And it can be downright disappointing physically and/or emotionally, if it’s not done right!

Sex feels good. Oh yes, it does! When your lover circles your pussy with his cock, then plunges in after what seems like forever, it feels like heaven on Earth. It’s like, the best thing EVER! And sex is good for you, too. It relaxes you. It has a bunch of proven health benefits, like headache and blood pressure reduction. Hell, it even burns calories!! Shit… forget your diet and have sex 4 times a day! You’ll look and feel awesome. But, I know that in order to feel good about my own sexual decisions, I have to feel good about the person I am being intimate with… When I don’t feel good about it, I always end up regretting it.

I bet you’re wondering at this point, “why is she even posting this? What a buzz kill!!” Right? I am writing this because I want you to remember you are a bar of gold. You are a valuable commodity. You’re body is your temple, and you do not want to disrespect your temple. Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… STD’s can be forever. Dick-bag boyfriends, or crazy girlfriends, can cause permanent damage. Is that temporary feeling of ecstasy worth it? Sometimes, it might be worth it. Sometimes…

For all those other times, fuck yourself. Masturbate. Take care of your own business. Hell, I know there have been times where I WISH I had masturbated instead of hooking up, either because the sex was lame or the emotional impact was too draining. Listen to me!!! Liberate yourself by taking charge of your own sexual pleasure. Why?

  • Masturbation will put your needs first
  • Masturbation will never give you an STD
  • Masturbation will never cheat on you
  • Masturbation will always let you cum first
  • Masturbation will never lie to you
  • Masturbation will never hurt your feelings
  • Masturbation will never waste your time
  • Masturbation will never make promises it can’t keep

Need more reasons? Here’s scientific reasons to pass on the meaningless sex and stick with the self-pleasure:

  • Masturbation helps you sleep
  • Masturbation relieves cramps and stress
  • Masturbation has been shown to prevent prostate cancer and alleviate UTI’s
  • Masturbation boosts your immunity
  • Masturbation has been shown to improve your mood
  • Masturbation tones pelvic and anal muscles
  • Masturbation lowers Risk Of Type 2 Diabetes

So, skip the dick-bags and the crazy bitches from time to time. Instead, check out our selection of solo toys and make yourself happy!

For the boys – Click Here!  For the gals – Click Here!

 

For the Ladies: The Do’s and Don’t of Casual Sex

Casual sex can mean different things to different people… In general, men have an easier time of separating sex from emotional connections. So, they can have sex casually without ever forming any attachments. Sex to them is simply a pleasurable recreational activity. To put it bluntly – They can hit it and quit it.

On the flip side, most women confuse sex with love. Why? It could be because women release the powerful hormone oxytocin during orgasms. Scientists believe that oxytocin causes women to create a strong emotional ties to sexual partners. So for this reason alone, my post is directed more towards my female audience.

Ok ladies… here are the dos and don’ts of casual sex to keep you in line and to avoid being hurt:

1. Be honest with yourself before you have casual sex. Why are you doing it? What do you want from it? If you are aware of your feelings, you can avoid potential hurt by having casual sex for the wrong reasons.

2. Be straightforward. Let whomever you have sex with know that it is for sex’s sake only.

3. Be realistic. Don’t get emotionally attached. THIS.IS.JUST.SEX. It will not develop into a relationship. It’s just physical fun. Remind yourself of this constantly!

4. Be safe. Use condoms and run background checks. Don’t take him home… People lie. They lie about their health. They lie about being “good guys”. The last thing you want from a little fun is an STD, a stalker, or worse… like being stuffed in a trunk!!

5. Don’t expect to be wined and dined. This is not dating. It is not about getting to know one another. It’s JUST SEX!

If you think you can handle it, casual sex can be a fun source of sexual release. You can be as wild and adventurous as you like! You can be as sexy as you want! Just be safe and be real.

The Case for High End Toys… by Danny Z

Often as I was growing up, my mother would tell me, “buy the best you can afford.” It’s something that has stuck with me as an adult. Of course we’ve all heard the saying, “you get what you pay for.” I’m cool with that. I understand that not everything is made to last, quality is relative, and rarely does something cheap last. But buying the best you can afford is a little different. It requires the understanding of the value of an item.

See, I am the kind of person who only wants to purchase something once. I’ll buy exactly what I want, even if I had to save up for it. And since I am on a budget, my money is important to me! With that in mind, I do my research ahead of time and want to make sure I don’t waste my money. I do this with almost anything I buy, from vitamins to replacement parts for my bicycle. Amazon and customer reviews are my best friends. They help me justify any purchase I make! And since I am an avid instore buyer, I need that feedback to feel confident in my purchase. Overall, I understand that I am paying a little more here and there for quality. But with that financial sacrifice, I am rewarded with many advantages.

In the world of sex toys, the same principles apply. There are low quality vibes for those on a budget. There’s the mid grade stuff… the stuff that will last a little longer and can handle a little aggression. Then there are the high end toys, which are a completely different level of quality and pleasure. I am not trying to sell you on high end toys, that high end is only the way to go. I love all the product lines we sell. But, I believe in quality and want you to be happy with your purchase. So, as a person who rarely experiences buyer’s remorse, I feel that I should share my wisdom with customers.

Why high end toys? Many of them come with a warranty of a year or more, whereas lower/mid quality toys usually only come with a 30 day warranty. Some higher end toys even have three year and to 15 year warranties. That’s insane! That’s like a car warranty! And it says something about the toys… It says that the manufacturer strongly believes in the quality and durability of their products. That is comforting to know, that my money is coming with the promise that it is not going to waste! No one wants to be disappointed by a manufacturer’s defect, if you know what I mean.

And speaking of quality, almost all high end toys are rechargeable and water proof (literally submergable, like you can play with it in the tub without a worry in the world). They are also made with better quality materials such as medical grade silicone and superior motors. In fact, the motors/vibrations on high toys tend to be faster and/or deeper than less expensive toys. So not only are you paying for quality and durability, your paying for stronger orgasms and greater pleasure!

Whether you need to stick to a budget or you want to splurge, research the products ahead of time! Ask questions! We are here to help, and there is a ton of great information online about most of our toys. At the end of the day, we want you to be happy with your purchase, even if it was with one of our lesser priced toys. But remember what my mom said… “buy the best you can afford.” I don’t think you can ever go wrong with that!

PORN… and lots of it!

I like porn. Is that weird?

If you’re a guy, you’re probably not all that impressed with my declaration. Most guys watch porn. But, if you asked most women, I bet they’d deny ever having watched it. There was a time that I was like that. I thought porn was degrading to women, a form of exploitation. At some point in my adult life, I began to lighten up and enjoy watching it – alone or with a partner. I no longer see it as a bad thing, but as a pleasurable thing that can enhance my masturbation or sex life with a partner.

For me, anal and girl-on-girl porn have the biggest turn-ons. I occasionally like Hentai, as there is something erotic about the domination and destruction of innocence that often happens in Hentai. And, I am more interested in realistic looking porn. The overly made-up and staged stuff doesn’t do it for me. I like my porn to look real, as if these two (or more) people just decided to get it on and happened to have a camera. I also like intense porn, where one act is focused on at length. All the switching up and changing acts or positions is too distracting. Got a girl munching down hard-core on another girl? Yes. Got a guy pounding away on an asshole while the girl cries in pain? Yes.

When I am alone, porn is a great escape. I’m a visual person and a creative person. I need that visual stimulation to get turned on. So, if I am masturbating, porn gets me going better than fantasizing does. But, it’s not only the visuals. In realistic porn, the audio gets me turned on, too. All that moaning and groaning really heightens my masturbation experience.

When I am with a partner, porn just makes it more interesting. I like to curl up next to someone and watch a video that may feature something we’d like to try. Or, maybe it’s something we like to do together already, and we just want to get the juices flowing. Besides, laying next to your partner, feeling them get hard because of the porn… that’s a big turn-on. And then while watching, touching each other or ourselves… that can be very hot! Also, have you ever allowed your partner to watch porn while you do whatever the porn-star is doing? It’s like your partner is getting to be in the porn. It’s like living out the fantasy of having sex with someone else without having to cheat.

And did you know that research shows porn can be beneficial for couples? Yes! It’s true! There are studies that show watching more porn results in increased sex drive and activity between partners, either when the partners watched it alone or together. Research has also shown that porn makes couples more spontaneous and less inhibited. So, not only were they more likely to have sex, more often, they were more likely to try new things! And, porn has been shown to improve your technique. Think about it… when watching porn, don’t you learn new tricks? Yes, yes you do!

If you’ve never watched porn, I can see how you’d be intimidated. The actors tend to have hot bodies, big boobs, and large dicks. But, try watching amateur porn. It’s full of people just like you and I. Want to give it a go? Try a free website like pornhub.com, yuvutu.com, or redtube.com. You can search by category and focus on what you like. Don’t want to search on the computer? Pick up a $9.99 video from our stores. We carry very tame titles and couples oriented videos for the faint of heart. Also, try watching the porn alone at first. If you don’t like it, you’ve only wasted your time and you haven’t gotten your partner’s hopes up. Then, if you do like it, mention it to your partner and see their eyes light up! I promise that anything you pick out, from wild to tame, will turn them on.

What’s a girl to do?

I love sex. Have I mentioned that before? I think I have…

But have I ever told you that it’s hard working for a sex shop? You have to work around all this arousing stuff. You get toys for a deep discount and free items from vendors. You amass a black bag the size of a Samsonite, filled with dildos, vibrators, gags, bullets, lubes, butt plugs, restraints, cock rings and more. You have to research products and sex techniques and fetishes. Therefore, you learn more about sex all of the time. You fantasize all of the time. You stay horny all.of.the.time.

Oh sure… You’re thinking, “What’s so hard about that?!?!” Well, for one thing, it’s really hard to find someone adventurous enough to explore all those things you’ve got going on in your head. Yeah, men and women alike will talk a big game with me. But when it comes right down to it, they get scared. They’re intimidated by me and my toy arsenal. They’re worried they might not be able to keep up with me, or that they’ll disappoint me. I get that. I do. But, I want that smack-talking guy with the big dick to walk right in and pull my hair and take me… not one that punks out, loses their erection, or cums after 2 minutes. UGH!

Also, I get bored very easily. I crave exploration. I am surrounded by variety. I am sexually curious every day because I learn new things every day. So, when a lover begins to fall into a routine of plain vanilla sex, I get bored. BORED. I want to try that new position I’ve read about. I want to use my new toys. I want to role-play and act out those fantasies. Don’t give me vanilla every night – give me a new flavor, or at least throw on some freaking sprinkles! UGH!

And now you’re probably thinking, “Surely she must be ugly or mean? It can’t be that hard for a girl to get laid!” Well first off, I’m attractive and curvy. Secondly, I’m one of the nicest, most generous people you’ll ever meet. And to be honest, I’m actually very monogamous and won’t sleep around. I won’t have casual sex because it’s risky for my health… Uh, STD’s anyone? And really, it’s not good for your emotional well-being. But more importantly, it ends up being a colossal waste of time. The smack-talker who said they could match me tit for tat ends up being horrible in bed. HORRIBLE. UGH!

So, YES, it is that hard for me to get laid… and even harder for me to get laid the way I want to be. Why? See above. I’m picky and hard to please. I want thrills and adventure. I want someone who can keep up with me physically and mentally. And, I won’t have casual sex. All of that adds up to me not being willing to have sex with just anyone… and me not getting laid. UGH!

So, what’s a girl to do?

 

 

Penis Pumps 101… by Danny Z

These days, I find myself getting more and more questions about our penis pumps. I am not happy about the narrow-mindedness most of the questions, though. It seems that most customers believe pumps are “for people with problems”. However, that is not always the case. To me, it’s like saying people who use straws when they drink must have neck problems. Using a penis pump doesn’t mean you have a problem. Maybe you do. But maybe, you just like the fullness it brings to your erection. Or, perhaps you just like the sucking sensation.

Yes, people who have erectile dysfunction, blood pressure problems, or diabetes can use the pumps to achieve and maintain an erection. Maybe you’re saying to yourself, “I don’t have any of those issues. Why would I want to use a pump?” Well, penis pumps will actually help ANY penis reach max potential in length and thickness. Don’t get me wrong… it won’t make your penis bigger. BUT, it will make it the biggest it can be… and that is always a plus!

How can a penis pump help you reach max potential? It does so by gently sucking on the penis, therefore increasing blood flow to the penis. So basically, it enhances the natural process that causes erections in the first place. The increased blood flow is maintained with the use of a cock ring, which you slide on after you remove the pump. This restricts the blood from leaving the penis, and maintains the girth effect pumps provide. The rings are used during intercourse or masturbation, and will help you last longer and cum bigger. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never complained about an orgasm being too powerful! So, that’s a side effect of using penis pumps that I am completely ok with…

Now, let’s talk about how you actually use a penis pump. First, I suggest getting a little aroused. Then, slip the cock ring down your shaft with the help of your favorite water based lubricant. Next, place a little bit of water based lube on the rim of the penis pump. This will help ease of entry. Then, slide your penis into the shaft of the pump and make sure it fits securely. Start squeezing the pump, slowly at first until you get used to the sensation. There will be a slight feeling of restriction. But if there is any discomfort, ease off the pumping or stop completely. In other words, be cautious when pumping. Pumps restrict and contract the veins in the penis. If you get over zealous, there is a possibility of injury. Be safe and play nice. Once you have pump your penis to your desired erection, slide out gently! If you want to remove the cock ring, simply slide it off. It’s easier to get off with the aid of a little lube. Otherwise, leave it on the cock ring and have at it!

I hope you give one of our penis pumps a try. It’s not for everyone. But, it can bring another dimension to your sex life or masturbation time. So, pump it up and get it on!

Suggested Pumps:

I like anything from the Pump Worx line by Pipedream. They are reasonably priced and of good quality. They also offer a large variety of pumps that offer different sensations and functions like vibration.

I’m also a fan of the James Deen brand pump. It is also reasonably priced and of good quality. Plus, it has a gauge to help you remember your desired level of pressure.

Also, check out our pump selection online! http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/fun-with-toys/pumps/mens-pumps

The Case for Lingerie

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Let’s face it… If you are a woman, you more than likely have an oversized t-shirt you sleep in. It’s more than likely has a hole or two in it. Maybe it’s even got a stain… or two. Or, you have your comfortable PJ’s – tried and true, soft from the years of wear and repeated laundering. Perhaps you’re sassier than that. You sleep in the nude, or just panties.

There’s nothing wrong with any of the above sleep apparel habits. Nothing at all. But, if your love life is suffering, or you want to spice things up, all of the above are missing one thing – LINGERIE.

I know what you’re thinking…
… “Men don’t care about lingerie. They look at it for a few seconds, then ask you to take it off so they can get down to business.”
… “I can’t find anything that makes me look sexy.”
… “I can’t stand all those strings and hooks and itchy lace.”
… “I sleep naked. I don’t need lingerie.”

Stop. Stop right there. You’re wrong, about all of the above. And here’s why…

Lingerie isn’t just for men. It’s for you, too! The right lingerie can make you feel sexy and pretty and all around more confident about yourself. And all those things combined can and will improve your sex life. So, leave it on during the whole act if it helps you feel your sexiest.

And, you CAN find something that makes you look sexy. Lingerie doesn’t have to be skimpy or stringy. There is abundance of gorgeous lingerie in all kinds of styles and fit, for all shapes and sizes. Pick out something that covers your trouble spots and you WILL feel sexy! Small bust? Pick a style with molded cups to give you some extra oomph! Short legs? Pick a short chemise to make your legs look longer. Carrying extra weight or have a mom belly? Wear a A-line style that is fitted at the top and flares out to mask your belly. Self-conscious about your whole body? Wear an extra long satin negligee with a large slit up the side, for a glamorous, old-Hollywood look.

And lingerie doesn’t have to uncomfortable. There are plenty of fabric options when it comes to lingerie – satin, soft stretchy mesh, cotton/poly jersey blends, and more. Don’t fool yourself into believing that more lace, ribbons, and hooks = sexier. Even a cute cotton-blend bra and panty set can be super sexy! Don’t like G-strings? Find a sexy black panty to wear with any of the lingerie styles that may come with a thong. The substitution will look just as hot, and you won’t feel like your picking floss out our your crack. Or skip the panties all together!

And, even if you sleep naked, lingerie can benefit your sexy life. There’s something sexy about mystery, and lingerie provides mystery… even if just a little. Lingerie makes discovering your body like unwrapping a special present. Make taking lingerie off by giving your partner the slow tease with a private strip-show. Plus, leaving lingerie on during sex can be extremely erotic. Think of how it feels to have your panties slowly removed by your partner, or simply pushed aside so he can please you… It’s feels HOT! I’m telling ya!

I’m not saying to throw out your oversized tees and extra-loved PJ’s. I’m just saying that every now and then, you should put on that hot pink teddy or black mesh bodysuit. It can give your everyday sex life a little extra ooh-la-la! Need something new and sexy? Check out our online lingerie selection – http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/boudoir-sexy. Like what you see? Visit any one of our 3 Charlotte locations for an even BIGGER selection of Missy and Plus size lingerie, hosiery, and corsets.