Sexy Ways to Survive Your Break-up!

I recently went through a break-up and it sucks! I’m not going to lie. I didn’t WANT to break up with my man. But, I also didn’t want to continue being with someone who couldn’t love me or take care of me the way I want and need to be loved and cared for. And even though I was the one who dumped him, it still hurts… and well, I’m sometimes lonely and bored without him because now I have more time to fill.

Maybe you’re in the same boat as me… just tired of bullshit and preferring to be alone. Or, maybe you were the one who was dumped. That REALLY sucks! Being dumped can really crush the spirit for a while. You’re going to be lonely and depressed until you realize it’s probably for the best that things happened the way they did.

But whether you were the dumper or dumpee, there are lots of sexy things to help you cope with a break-up…

1. Grab some condoms and have a one night stand… or three.

Now, I am not one to promote casual sex. It’s just not my thing. But, a SAFE, random romp with a stranger can temporarily make you feel sexy, wanted, and free. The sex can be as wild and uninhibited as you want it to be. And, a few one night stands will help ease the sexual tension you may feel as the result of losing your partner. Just remember to stop by our store and pick up some of the wide variety of condoms we sell. AND remember, it’s just s.e.x. It’s not a relationship and will likely never go anywhere. If you can do that, you can get the ego boost and sexual release that will help you over the break-up hump.

2. Masturbate… a lot.

The time after a break-up can be tough if you enjoyed the sex. So, invest in a high-quality sex toy or masturbator to ease the tension. Hey, a sex toy is a lot less complicated than a one night stand or friend with benefits… and a lot safer. Also, sex toys won’t make you feel miserable. They won’t hurt your feelings. They won’t bug you or blow up your phone. And, there are some AMAZING toys out there that almost make another person irrelevant. And pleasing yourself will help you resist the urge to run back to your ex just for the sake of sex!

For guys, I suggest a Tenga Fliphole. These toys won’t cause drama and are a lot cheaper than having a girlfriend!

For gals, I suggest any one of the OVO Rabbits. These toys are affordable, powerful, and durable… Probably more powerful and durable than your last boyfriend… and most likely much more dependable!

3. Update your underwear.

I know this might sound like a weird suggestion. But, hear me out… You wore that underwear to turn him or her on. So, chuck it! Burn it in the fireplace. Cut it up and mail it to him/her in a package. Whatever you do, get rid of it all. Then, come by one of our stores and pick up some sexy new underthings for guys or gals! Having sexy new underwear can really make you feel better. Just knowing you have on something underneath your jeans can make you exude an air of sexiness. And that will surely attract new people into your life… or at least give you back a little swagger in your walk.

4. Flirt… a lot.

It can take a while to let go of the feelings from a break-up, whether you were the dumper or dumpee. And, maybe you are not ready to rejoin the dating world because you don’t want new drama, or are afraid of getting hurt. But, you can and should flirt. Flirting boosts your ego, makes you smile, and is completely harmless. It will remind you that you are sexy and desirable. And even if you just aren’t ready for that next step, it will help you to see that there are a lot of fish in the sea.

5. Learn from it.

Learning from your mistakes is sexy. Why? Because knowing your needs and wants makes you a more confident person, and therefore a sexier person. Next time, you’ll know more about what you do and don’t want/need. You’ll look for someone who is interested in fulfilling your desires, as much as they are interested in having theirs fulfilled. You won’t settle for less. That knowledge confidence, and power is all extremely sexy!

We’re all freaks… By Danny Z

Do you know what’s a common thing I run into with my line of work? Almost immediately, when someone finds out that I work at a sex shop, they ask, “What is the freakiest thing you’ve sold or seen?”

It is a very interesting question. I’ll give you that! But, what may be “freaky” to me, may not be freaky to you…

Someone asked me the same exact question the other day, for the umpteenth time. But, it made me realize I no longer believe that there such thing as “freaky”. People do what they do – whether they are embarrassed about it or not. In fact, it is nothing to be ashamed of in the first place!

But it’s a sort of conundrum, if you think about it… We so open with our opinions and thoughts as a society. We criticize our government openly. We post incriminating photos on Facebook or Instagram. We post our family drama or bad mouth our workplaces on Facebook. But when it comes to sexual desires – we avoid being open and honest about them. It’s kind of disheartening that all of that stuff is not freaky, but quite normal… Yet, people are still afraid to talk about sex and will judge alternative preferences as freaky.

While I may have my own preferences, and you have yours, everyone has theirs own tastes in sex and should be allowed to – whatever their tastes may be! You like toys? Fine. Not into foreplay? Cool.  Like men, women, or both? Whatever. If you knew the amount of people who come into our, but can’t look me in the face, you would be amazed! BUT THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED! I don’t know why anyone is embarrassed about it. People have masturbated for YEARS. They are not the first person, certainly not the last. It also doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. It just says that you want to “spice things up”. And, well… everyone likes to have fun. I think we can agree on that.

There is no need for bashfulness when looking for an item – from a simple vibrator to something more extreme. In our store, we sell almost the exact same amount of both mild and wild! There is a demand for both, even if one might be more mainstream than the other. And, here is where it gets silly… Multiple times a day, I get whispered questions or concerns about something – anal, restraints, vibes, etc. It’s because people are scared for others to hear them… But what they don’t realize is that someone was in the store, right before they were, inquiring about the exact same products just moments before! How funny is that?

We’re not shy about our lives, except when it comes to sex… And it doesn’t have to be that way!

Here is just a list of a few things I think folks shouldn’t be so embarrassed about. Take a look! You may find that what you are afraid to try or ask about is actually quite common…

• Anal sex… This is probably the most asked about topic in the store. Everyone is doing it, or wants to try it.
• Prostate stimulation… A lot of men really enjoy prostate play. But, there is a stigma that it means you’re gay if you like it. FACT : You’re not a gay, unless you date/sleep with others of the same sex. FACT: The prostate is an a very sensitive erogenous area and can create intense orgasms when stimulated.
• Porn… Porn is everywhere. Almost everyone has or is watching it. There’s nothing wrong with that.
• Toys… Lots of people use toys. And, toys are additive to sex, not substitutions for it. Think of it like this… Ice cream is good on its own. But, it is better with sprinkles! So, adding toys to the mix doesn’t make you a freak.
• Enhancements… Be it pills, creams, delay gels, or extensions, it’s ok if you need to supplement your sex life! We can’t all be porn stars. We’re busy, tired humans, and sometimes we need a little help.

So, be yourself and do what makes you happy! Normal is relative, and you’re normal… Trust me. I think Dr. Seuss said it best – “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Why I want lesbian sex and other musings…

I like women almost as much as I like men. I identify as straight for the most part, because I’m more inclined to have relationships with men. However, I am just as pleased by sex with women as I am with men. And unfortunately, it’s been a while since I have had the pleasure of being sexually intimate with a woman. I miss that…

I was in an on-again, off-again relationship with a man for the last few years. I didn’t feel comfortable developing a relationship with a woman on the side, for a few reasons. First of all, it felt wrong to me. Ultimately, I am a monogamous person. I like to be with one person at a time. And so, I denied that side of myself for the sake of the relationship.

Honestly, I am not opposed to threesomes or open relationships. I’ve certainly had a few damn good threesomes in my life! But, I find that I need to have them outside of a relationship, just for the fun of it, no strings attached. Within a relationship, I think it’s a recipe for trouble. Or maybe I just haven’t been with a person that could handle something like that and still maintain my trust.

So that leads me to my second reason for abandoning female companionship… I didn’t trust this guy. It’s true. I felt that if I introduced another woman to our relationship, he’d become greedy. I also didn’t trust him to remain mine. To me, another woman would’ve been a gift he would’ve taken advantage of, and I could totally see him ruining what we had because of it.

But we’re not together now and I miss the company of women… Le sigh…

Being with a woman, to me, is a much more sensual experience. Why?

Women are soft. Our bodies are curved and luscious. We smell and taste sweet. Even with urgency, passion, or roughness, during sex, there is still an edge of delicateness to everything.

Women understand each others bodies better. A woman knows a vagina like the back of her hand because she has one. She knows what will please a woman because she is one. She knows the sensitive areas because she has them.

We can handle each other with a knowledge and care that men just don’t seem to possess. We can talk to each other about our needs without fear of hurting a sensitive male ego.

I think I’ve mentioned a few of my desires and fantasies before… I love clit grinding. Two female bodies rubbing together for mutual pleasure is about the hottest thing I can think of! I also love going down on a woman. The soft, fleshy feel of a woman against your face and tongue is so much more erotic than having a pole shoved down your throat. And then there are breasts… Who does not like round, luscious breasts? Even most gay men can admire a nice set of boobs. Or what about fingers? Women have soft fingers and are much more delicate when using them. The idea of a woman stroking me through my panties really makes me feel warm and fuzzy. And honestly, sex toys are mostly made for women. So, there are so many ways you can tease and play with each other using toys. It keeps things from getting too boring when you have to be creative and use toys, fingers, and tongues!

Now that I am single again, I’m going to explore my desires. But for now, I am going to explore myself and update my dating profile to “bi”. I hope that the next time I report back, my musings are about how much I enjoyed the lesbian sex I’ve been having…

For strap-ons, vibrators, bondage gear and more, please visit us online at http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/!

What’s a girl to do?

I love sex. Have I mentioned that before? I think I have…

But have I ever told you that it’s hard working for a sex shop? You have to work around all this arousing stuff. You get toys for a deep discount and free items from vendors. You amass a black bag the size of a Samsonite, filled with dildos, vibrators, gags, bullets, lubes, butt plugs, restraints, cock rings and more. You have to research products and sex techniques and fetishes. Therefore, you learn more about sex all of the time. You fantasize all of the time. You stay horny all.of.the.time.

Oh sure… You’re thinking, “What’s so hard about that?!?!” Well, for one thing, it’s really hard to find someone adventurous enough to explore all those things you’ve got going on in your head. Yeah, men and women alike will talk a big game with me. But when it comes right down to it, they get scared. They’re intimidated by me and my toy arsenal. They’re worried they might not be able to keep up with me, or that they’ll disappoint me. I get that. I do. But, I want that smack-talking guy with the big dick to walk right in and pull my hair and take me… not one that punks out, loses their erection, or cums after 2 minutes. UGH!

Also, I get bored very easily. I crave exploration. I am surrounded by variety. I am sexually curious every day because I learn new things every day. So, when a lover begins to fall into a routine of plain vanilla sex, I get bored. BORED. I want to try that new position I’ve read about. I want to use my new toys. I want to role-play and act out those fantasies. Don’t give me vanilla every night – give me a new flavor, or at least throw on some freaking sprinkles! UGH!

And now you’re probably thinking, “Surely she must be ugly or mean? It can’t be that hard for a girl to get laid!” Well first off, I’m attractive and curvy. Secondly, I’m one of the nicest, most generous people you’ll ever meet. And to be honest, I’m actually very monogamous and won’t sleep around. I won’t have casual sex because it’s risky for my health… Uh, STD’s anyone? And really, it’s not good for your emotional well-being. But more importantly, it ends up being a colossal waste of time. The smack-talker who said they could match me tit for tat ends up being horrible in bed. HORRIBLE. UGH!

So, YES, it is that hard for me to get laid… and even harder for me to get laid the way I want to be. Why? See above. I’m picky and hard to please. I want thrills and adventure. I want someone who can keep up with me physically and mentally. And, I won’t have casual sex. All of that adds up to me not being willing to have sex with just anyone… and me not getting laid. UGH!

So, what’s a girl to do?

 

 

You Put Your Junk In It… by Danny Z

I feel as though I was raised in a macho-man bubble as a child. Every time I saw a man in the media, he would always be a MANLY… the kind of men who wore boxers and would never purchase sexy underwear for fear of embarrassment. But, as I have gotten older, I realize wearing sexy man underwear is not such a bad thing.

Which brings me to my point of discussion… We carry men’s underwear in the store. I have always been a little curious about some of the styles.  Recently, I was fortunate enough to be given a pair of these “designer” underwear as a gift. They were a pair of our Andrew Christian briefs. I was anxious to try them on, as I have always been a die-hard boxer man. But, I have heard a lot of positive things about them from customers.

Here are my thoughts about them… The briefs are created from a very comfortable, silky smooth cotton blend. They’re a LOT more comfortable than the regular packaged boxers that I usually purchase. The pair I received have a pouch for the penis. The pouch is designed to separate the shaft from the testicles. The separation increases blood flow to the shaft, making my penis look thicker and longer. The briefs also hug tightly to my testicles, creating a more form-enhancing fit and giving me some swing control. While the pouch was a little weird at first, it took me very little time for me to get uses to the feeling. By having the pouch, it helps my penis avoid having to pick which pant leg it would it would like to hang out in for the day! Instead, it rests comfortably upfront, like a proud trophy.

At this point, you guys may be skeptical. But, I love the way they feel. I can sit for hours, without the constant leg shakes or thrust ups to keep my genitals comfortable. And, there are a lot of times I wear jeans or dress pants that, ahem, make my privates a little more public. These are my go to underwear for times like that. They actually make my pants fit better!

Whether you want to feel sexy, more in control of your manhood, or just want a better profile in your pants, you should try one of our many styles of men’s underwear. From boxer-briefs to briefs to thongs, we have something for all you manly men! I promise you will be pleasantly surprised… and so will that special someone in your life!

The Case for Lingerie

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s face it… If you are a woman, you more than likely have an oversized t-shirt you sleep in. It’s more than likely has a hole or two in it. Maybe it’s even got a stain… or two. Or, you have your comfortable PJ’s – tried and true, soft from the years of wear and repeated laundering. Perhaps you’re sassier than that. You sleep in the nude, or just panties.

There’s nothing wrong with any of the above sleep apparel habits. Nothing at all. But, if your love life is suffering, or you want to spice things up, all of the above are missing one thing – LINGERIE.

I know what you’re thinking…
… “Men don’t care about lingerie. They look at it for a few seconds, then ask you to take it off so they can get down to business.”
… “I can’t find anything that makes me look sexy.”
… “I can’t stand all those strings and hooks and itchy lace.”
… “I sleep naked. I don’t need lingerie.”

Stop. Stop right there. You’re wrong, about all of the above. And here’s why…

Lingerie isn’t just for men. It’s for you, too! The right lingerie can make you feel sexy and pretty and all around more confident about yourself. And all those things combined can and will improve your sex life. So, leave it on during the whole act if it helps you feel your sexiest.

And, you CAN find something that makes you look sexy. Lingerie doesn’t have to be skimpy or stringy. There is abundance of gorgeous lingerie in all kinds of styles and fit, for all shapes and sizes. Pick out something that covers your trouble spots and you WILL feel sexy! Small bust? Pick a style with molded cups to give you some extra oomph! Short legs? Pick a short chemise to make your legs look longer. Carrying extra weight or have a mom belly? Wear a A-line style that is fitted at the top and flares out to mask your belly. Self-conscious about your whole body? Wear an extra long satin negligee with a large slit up the side, for a glamorous, old-Hollywood look.

And lingerie doesn’t have to uncomfortable. There are plenty of fabric options when it comes to lingerie – satin, soft stretchy mesh, cotton/poly jersey blends, and more. Don’t fool yourself into believing that more lace, ribbons, and hooks = sexier. Even a cute cotton-blend bra and panty set can be super sexy! Don’t like G-strings? Find a sexy black panty to wear with any of the lingerie styles that may come with a thong. The substitution will look just as hot, and you won’t feel like your picking floss out our your crack. Or skip the panties all together!

And, even if you sleep naked, lingerie can benefit your sexy life. There’s something sexy about mystery, and lingerie provides mystery… even if just a little. Lingerie makes discovering your body like unwrapping a special present. Make taking lingerie off by giving your partner the slow tease with a private strip-show. Plus, leaving lingerie on during sex can be extremely erotic. Think of how it feels to have your panties slowly removed by your partner, or simply pushed aside so he can please you… It’s feels HOT! I’m telling ya!

I’m not saying to throw out your oversized tees and extra-loved PJ’s. I’m just saying that every now and then, you should put on that hot pink teddy or black mesh bodysuit. It can give your everyday sex life a little extra ooh-la-la! Need something new and sexy? Check out our online lingerie selection – http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/boudoir-sexy. Like what you see? Visit any one of our 3 Charlotte locations for an even BIGGER selection of Missy and Plus size lingerie, hosiery, and corsets.

BDSM 101: Kinky Basics for Everyone

Maybe you already know what BDSM is, and going a little further intrigues you. Perhaps you’ve dabbled with spanking your partner. Or, maybe you’ve tied each other up with scarves. But now, you want to try more BDSM fun in the bedroom.

Or, maybe you’ve never heard of BDSM. Perhaps, you’re intimidated by the idea. Or, maybe you just don’t know how to get started, but would be interested in trying something like this in the bedroom.

Well, this is your primer for BDSM. I’m going to give you some basic ideas to get your kinky juices flowing!

First of all, let’s define BDSM:

B = bondage – using restraints as part of an intimate relationship

D = domination – a dominant partner controlling and/or punishing a submissive partner

S & M = sadism and masochism – giving (s) and receiving (m) pleasure from pain

Getting started… When getting started with any BDSM activity, talk to your partner FIRST! Discuss what you would like to try and come up with a game plan. It’s important to set up boundaries before you ever venture down this road. Why? It’s because many BDSM activities require a high level of trust between partners. So, talk, talk, talk about what you will and won’t do! Then, decide on a safe word, or code word, to use with your partner when you want things to stop. Remember, it’s ok to stop and regroup. You should never feel like you can’t trust your partner!

Now, let’s break everything down. I’m going to give you some basic ideas according to where they fall in the BDSM spectrum. Some of them might not be your thing, and that’s ok! The idea is to spice things up within YOUR comfort zone.

Bondage – There are so many easy ways to incorporate bondage into your sex life!

• Grab a leash and walk your partner around the bedroom
• Use furry handcuffs or silk rope to restrict your partner’s use of their hands, or to lock them to a bedpost or chair
• Try a ball gag to muffle your partner’s pleas for mercy or cries of ecstasy
• Use a spreader bar to restrict the use of your partner’s legs
• Go all the way and use hog ties or wrist and leg cuffs to completely restrict your partner’s movements

Domination – This is all about one person being in charge, with the other relinquishing control.

• Pretend your partner is your love slave and have them work to earn their freedom by doing anything you say
• Control your partner by repeatedly stimulating them, but not allowing them to have an orgasm
• Role play having one of you be the servant (think French maid, pool boy, love robot, etc.)
• Try a remote controlled panty vibe where you or your partner is in charge of the amount of stimulation received
• Use a blindfold and do not allow your partner to see what you’re about to do next

S&M – This is all about giving and/or receiving pain. But, it doesn’t mean you have to hurt each other. Start on the softer side with any of these suggestions and work your way up to more intensity!

• Try using nipple clamps for an exciting pinch
• Pick up a paddle, riding crop, or leather flogger, then lightly smack each other on sensitive areas
• Drip hot wax onto each other’s backsides
• Try an electro-stimulation kit on sensitive areas with the dial set to low
• Use your teeth to gently bite sensitive areas

Want to try some of the ideas above? Check out our BDSM selection online. You’ll find many items to help you get started.

Want to try some harder stuff? Do your research! Talk to your partner about your desires AND boundaries. And, the visit one of our 3 Charlotte are stores. We have a much larger, and kinkier, selection of BDSM items in-store.

 

Oral Sex 101: Tips for Great Oral!

Oral sex… *Sigh*

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had a man boast that he is awesome at going down. He raves about the compliments he’s received in the past. But, when he starts pleasuring you, it either feels like a beaver gnawing on your privates or like a Dyson has locked on to your clit! Or for you guys, there’s the girl who boasts of her skills in sucking dick. But when she’s down there, she barely moves her lips and throat around your shaft, and mostly uses her hands. Or, she really sucks… like s Dyson has locked on to your dick!

I know that everyone likes something different when it comes to getting off. Maybe you like the above oral sex techniques. I’m not judging… But, listen up all you Dyson-mouthed folks! When done with some skill and attention, oral sex can be a much more amazing experience than the ones I’ve had above! So, here are my tips on how to give great oral sex…

These tips are for everyone:

1. Start fresh! A shower can go a long way in making oral much more pleasant for the giver! And if you’re receiving the oral, being clean will make you more comfortable and at ease.

2. Communicate! Tell your partner up front what you like and don’t like. During the oral, give encouragement or softly spoken suggestions. Moaning and groaning works, too!

3. Reciprocate! Reciprocate! Reciprocate! If you don’t like to give, it really discourages your partner from wanting to give. So, do unto to others as you would have done to you!

 

If you’re going down on her:

1. Slow down! It’s not a race! Warp speed tongue action does nothing but frustrate the average women. And most likely, a steady build will create a much more intense orgasm for her.

2. Don’t munch the rug! Teeth are ok… but that means a little nibble here or there. Repetitive gnawing is not really a pleasurable feeling for most women.

3. Yes, sucking on my clit is a pleasurable feeling… when done lightly! Don’t go all Dyson on me!

4. Don’t like to go down because of the “taste”? Well that’s not fair. Consider using a flavored lube and get to licking! Not only will it taste good to you, it actually enhances the feeling for me.

5. Apply a little pressure. Light licks will tease me. Mixing in firmer licks will get me there.

 

If you’re going down on him:

1. Take him deeply into your mouth and stroke up and down, allowing him to feel the back of your throat. I know this seems basic. But, many of us who give blow-jobs end up focusing solely on the head of the penis. That can be too intense or frustrating for a man. Think of your mouth as a vagina. How would a man use his penis in vagina? Would he just poke the tip in repeatedly? NO! He goes all in and then almost all out. Do the same with your mouth!

2. Don’t be a Dyson. Lightly sucking, yes. Creating an oral vortex, no. Sucking dick doesn’t mean literally turning your mouth into a vacuum.

3. Try a little flavored lube. If you’re like me, sometimes your mouth gets dry. A dry mouth is no fun for anyone. Using lube will keep the moisture up and the friction down.

4. Some guys like a little teeth. Gently graze the back side of his shaft with your teeth. But, don’t go all cheese grater on him!

5. Use your tongue. Running the tongue along the back of his shaft and the head of his penis adds that extra wow factor. Also, using your tongue to gently apply pressure as you move up and down can create a tighter feel for him.

 

Read these tips! Study them! Master them! Don’t be that person who boasts of your skills, but disappoints in the bedroom. Don’t be the beaver gnawing away or the Dyson set to VORTEX. Just don’t. 🙂

 

Super Penis – by Danny Z

Danny Z is a store employee who will be joining our blog from time to time. He’s here to give you the male perspective on products and sex! Read what he recently had to say about our male enhancement pills…

I’ve been working at the RedDoor for two years now. I recall my first few shifts in the store… Men would walk in and request one of our many “male enhancement pills.” I am a very skeptical person at heart. But, I was very curious as to why we sell dozens of these pills a day. At that time, I was ignorant about the product and didn’t grasp the concept of male enhancement pills. No one had educated me on their effects or benefits. Furthermore, the men who came in to purchase them were secretive about it, as if they found a gold mine and wanted to have all the treasure for themselves. After a while I got warmed up to the idea of trying one, but kept making excuses to avoid actually taking the plunge. One particular day, a regular customer came into the store to purchase a supplement, and I had to tell him we were sold out of his brand of choice. I watched him pace back and forth debating on how to “salvage” his evening. After a few spins, he called the lady he was supposed to meet up with to inform her that he was “too tired” and wanted to go home. This blew my mind! As a single male, that is something we just don’t do. The reaction the guy had blew my mind and I immediately purchased my first male supplement.

I had knowledge of what the supplements did, prior to taking them. Basically, they stay in your system for an X amount of days, depending on the dosage. During that time, they help with ease of arousal, maintain erections, create fuller erections, allow for quicker reload time, and increase the longevity of your sessions. I’ve heard at least a hundred or so men refer to this as “the superman pill.” Why, you may ask? As men, we all know things can hinder your erection – being too hot, having to pee, being tired, being nervous, or honestly just not being turned on. Penises are very strange organs. I can now speak from personal experience that NONE of those issues were present during use of the supplement.

Here’s what happened my first time… I took one 30 mins prior to heading over to my female friend’s house. As I felt the pill kicking in, I had slight thoughts of perversion. I met her at her house and put on my moves… or so I would like to think! Pretty soon, we started going at it. It was hot (temperature-wise), yet I lasted for 3 and a half hours of full action. There were no breaks. My penis did not give up or break down. I was dripping with sweat by the end of it, and my “friend” was as cool as could be. I was completely enthralled by the supplement. I couldn’t believe it. Eventually, I finished… after she had multiple orgasms. She laid there in bliss as I went to clean myself off. But within seconds, I was back at full mast and completely “ready” to go… AGAIN. The re-load time utterly shocked me… AND HER! I usually need about 30 minutes to recover and reload. But, this enhancement cut my reload time down greatly. Still to this day, I am amazed by the effects…

Long story short, I highly suggest you try one and make up your own mind… I know I am a believer!

Sexual Fantasies and XXX Daydreaming

So, I am 100% pro-fantasy. In fact, if you could read my mind, you’d see I fantasize a LOT! Sometimes, it’s like there’s a XXX movie playing in my head. I’m a creative person. Maybe that’s why I’m constantly coming up with scenarios for my sex life. It frustrates Mr. Big, my partner. I’ve heard him say on more than one occasion, “It’s like the Rolling Stones, honey… we can’t play all our greatest hits in one night!!!” Bless his heart. I think I exhaust him…

I know not all of my fantasies can or will come true. But, it never hurts to dream… right?

Like for instance, I was in training the other day and this cute, butch woman was leading the training. What did I do? I spent part of the class fantasizing about pussy grinding… PUSSY GRINDING. What did I take away from the class? That I want to pussy grind as soon as possible. I want to find a hot woman, get naked, and rub against her. Yep.

Or, the other night, Mr. Big was talking about watching the series OZ, a prison drama that HBO produced a decade ago. What did I do? I started fantasizing about some big, buff prison thug making my lover his bitch. In this fantasy, I am the prison warden, watching it all play out, waiting for my turn with the billy club…. Mr. Big was not entirely thrilled with my fantasy, but he was amused.

What’s wrong with these little mini-pornos running through my mind from time to time? Well, other than not having enough time, energy or partner, there’s nothing wrong with a little fantasizing!

Everyone has sexual fantasies, from the mundane to the down right freak-a-licious! Think about it… Most of you have had fantasies about having sex in a public place like a bathroom or the hood of a car. Lots of you have had fantasies of threesomes or watching your partner have sex with someone else. A lot of women fantasize about girl-on-girl. We’re human. We daydream. And, fantasies are healthy. They can increase your arousal during sex. Plus, fantasies allow you to do things you would not do in real life, and the outcome is always positive. It’s a win-win!

So, you don’t want to keep daydreaming like me? Then you may be asking yourself, “how do I make my fantasies come true?” I can’t tell you a step-by-step for every fantasy you may have. There’s honestly not enough blog space for just MY fantasies. And, keep in mind that I am not a licensed couple’s counselor, nor a sex therapist. But, I can help you open up the dialogue with your partner. Here’s my advice:

Test the waters – Start by showing your partner a porn with a scenario you’d like to act out. Then, ask them what they think of that scenario. Your partner should be pretty honest with you about it under those circumstances, and you’ll be able to gauge whether revealing more is a possibility. You could also present your fantasy as a wild dream you had and see how your partner reacts. Or, ask them to visit a sex shop with you and see what they gravitate towards.

Ease it into conversation SLOWLY – I think it’s best to start small. In my opinion, you should never go for a full reveal if you don’t think your partner is that adventurous. In other words, if you want to reveal your ideas, don’t do it all at once. You may intimidate, scare, or alienate your partner by rushing things. If you think your partner is open to a threesome, ask them what would turn them on about the fantasy. Getting them to open up to you will make it easier for you to discuss your ideas.

The theme here is communication! You honestly will never know unless you ask. Once you begin having these conversation with your partner, you open the door to a greater level of sexual creativity between the two of you!