prostate stimulation

Pegging 101: A Guide to Straight Strap-on Sex

pegging

Are you a woman who has a man that’s interested in anal stimulation? Or, are you a man who would like to be penetrated?

Believe it or not, many straight men like anal penetration – with toys, fingers, tongues, and more. Yes, it’s true! I have been with men who’ve enjoyed it and would have never dreamed of having sex with a man. Why do straight men enjoy penetration? It’s because the prostate is located inside the anal canal. The prostate is a hot-bed of erogenous sensation. At minimum, prostate stimulation feels good and can intensify orgasms. However, some men can achieve orgasm by stimulation the prostate alone.

One of the ways to stimulate the prostate is with “pegging”. Pegging is defined as “a woman using a strap-on on her male partner for anal penetration.” Essentially, you are reversing roles. In pegging, the woman takes on the role of the man, penetrating her partner from behind.

I’ve already explained how this can be pleasurable for men on a physical level. But let me add that it can be mentally stimulating, as well. Many men enjoy the act of surrender or loss of control. They are used to being the penetrator, the one who controls the depth and speed. But, allowing themselves to be pegged creates an erotic feeling derived from surrender and/or assuming the role of the female.

You may also be asking yourself, “how is this pleasurable for a woman?” Well, from my experience, there is a tremendous amount of eroticism in being the one in charge. Dominating a partner, being the penetrator… both of these things provide a sense of power. And as we all know, power can be intoxicating. Furthermore, if you use a vibrator or bullet in combination with a harness, a woman can achieve a high level of stimulation during the repeated thrusting required in pegging!

If you’re interested in trying pegging, here are some things you want to keep in mind:

Communicating – Communication is key before and during pegging. Both of you should talk about what you’d like to try, or what your fears may be. This is new territory for you both! She’s never been in the role of penetrator and may need time getting used to the motion and rigor it takes to continuously thrust. He may not be used to the size of the toy, or the thrusting motion of being pegged. During your experimentation, make sure you both communicate about what he’d like more or less of, and if anything hurts. It’s ok to talk about it until you both feel comfortable!

Planning – Set aside some quality time to shop for a good harness, attachments, and lubrication. Then, make sure you have plenty of time to experiment. Being relaxed is key!! During your experimentation, GO SLOW. Rushing this is not going to work. Remember, this type of penetration requires more trust than traditional sex does. Plowing along full speed ahead can ruin the whole experience and cause your partner pain.

Preparing – Get to know your body and when you’re most “empty”. That can go a long way in keeping things clean. Your rectum is usually empty unless you really need to go. However, if you’d both feel more comfortable, cleaning the anal canal can ensure a mess-free experience. You can do this with a mild enema. Or, check out these helpful hygiene items from our online store.

Lubricating – The anus does not produce any natural lubrication. So, using a water-based, high quality lube will make things a lot easier. It will reduce friction and make any kind of anal penetration more comfortable. I suggest using System Jo’s H20 anal formula. If he’s really nervous about the pain, try using a desensitizing lubricant such as Liquid Sex’s anal formula. The numbing agent will take the edge off. But, it’s especially important to go slow and gentle with a numbing lube, as he won’t be able to feel if something is not working right.

Finding a good harness – There are many styles. But, the key is to find something that is comfortable for YOU to wear. I suggest trying on a harness, if possible. Most stores will allow you to slip one on over your panties. This ensures you have the best idea of how the harness will fit. In my experience, you want a harness that will fit very snuggly, and as flat against your pubic area as possible. This allows for maximum control as you thrust. An ill-fitting or loose harness will make it very hard for you to thrust and control the dong. Also, you want something that will not rub against your skin. Look for a harness that is made of soft, sturdy materials that is lined or padded for your pubic area. You also want something that has belt-like buckles to secure the harness. I find that Velcro is uncomfortable and not always secure. The same goes for loop buckles, which tend to slip and loosen during the action. The last thing you want is for you harness to fall off during pegging! Check out our online selection of harnesses here.

Selecting the attachment – Start with a small attachment, and then work up to something bigger. Even a small toy can make a big impact in heightening his climax. It allows him to get used to the sensation without any pain. Also, small toys tend to be easier to control and less cumbersome for her. I also suggest using rigid toys in the beginning. They also tend to be much easier to control, which will help her until she gets used to handling the dong, the thrusting motion, and maintain the dominant position.  Need ideas? Check out our anal toys online or visit us in-store for more selection!

 

Butt plugs… yes, butt plugs!

I know what you’re thinking… “A whole post about butt plugs?!” YES! This is an entire blog dedicated to butt plugs.

Why? Because I have a thing about butt plugs. I just like the way they feel. I like the sensation they provide during masturbation or sex… Therefore, I’ve tried many different sizes, shapes, and materials. I’ve tried non-vibrating and vibrating. So, I wanted to impart my knowledge and opinions on the best things to put up your butt. 😛

To begin with, let me tell you why you should use a butt plug. If you’re a man, that’s an easy answer – prostate stimulation. A butt plug will press against your prostate, which feels really good if you’re willing to try it. Plus, the pressure on your prostate will cause a much stronger, more intense orgasm. If you are a woman, a similar reasoning applies. You also have strong nerve endings in your rectum. The pressure will in turn create stronger, more intense orgasms. In addition, the pressure tightens your vaginal wall. During penetration, the snugger fit will make it easier for your partner to stimulate your g-spot. See? Butt plugs are good for everyone!!

Before you get started using an sort of plug, consider your 2 things: your lube and your anal experience level…

In regards to lubes, a silicone-based lube is the best choice for anal, as it does not absorb quickly into the rectum. That means it will last longer and create a smoother glide. However, silicone lube cannot be used with any sort of rubber, jelly, PVC, or silicone toys. It will melt the material, which is a big bummer (pun intended). But, silicone lubes work great on glass, ceramic, or metal toys. If you plan to use a rubber, jelly, PVC, or silicone toy, make sure you use a water-based lube. Just keep in mind that you may need to reapply the lube often, as it will eventually be absorbed into the rectum.

In regards to experience, pick a size that fits your level of anal comfort. If it’s your first time, don’t go for the big plug. Start small and work your way up! Even a finger-sized plug can provide some extra sensation and enjoyment.

Now, here are my suggestions on butt plugs. All of these plugs I have used, some of them more than others. There’s a little something for everyone, and I don’t think you can go wrong with any of my picks…

Doc Johnson Classic Butt Plug Small – A classic toy for beginners, this butt Plug has a smooth, tear drop shape ideal for first-time insertion. The tapered body gives a comfortable feeling and flared base holds the toy securely in place. The plug is made from non-phthalate body safe material. It’s safe to use with water-based lubes.

High Intensity Vibro Tease – This is also a great toy for beginners! This slender probe has a removable, high-intensity, quiet, push button stimulator. The vibrations are strong enough to resonate through the rectal wall, making it pleasurable for your partner, too! It’s also made from a soft jelly material, which is easy on the bottom!! It’s safe to use with water-based lubes.

Ceramix No. 2 – This is a plug I would suggest for someone who is more experienced in anal play. It has an ultra smooth surface for easier insertion. It’s hollow and features a silicone plug at the base, allowing you to fill it with warm or cold water. The toy will heat up or cool down instantly and will retain the adapted temperature for up to 20 minutes. The extra sensation of temperature play can take the anal experience to a whole new level! This plug is safe to use with silicone-based or water-based lubes.

Ram Inflatable Vibe Expander – This plug can be used by both beginners or the more experienced. Deflated, the largest end has a 1.375 inch diameter. When used for training, the expanding size can help go from slow to WHOA! Inflated, the RAM provides big stretch! So the more advanced player can pump up the volume to super size. It has a variable speed vibrator that everyone will enjoy. It’s safe to use with water-based lubes.

Metal Worx Slim Fave – This plug can be used by both beginners or the more experienced. This luxurious, dual-ended metal pleasure is made from high quality steel. It’s an all-in-one toy, perfect for vaginal or anal play. The hygienic metal finish is sleek, nonporous, and easy to clean, while the design is made to excite. The smooth, metallic surface adds in insertion, too! This plug is safe to use with silicone-based or water-based lubes.

For more anal toys, visit us online at http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/fun-with-toys/anal-play.

We’re all freaks… By Danny Z

Do you know what’s a common thing I run into with my line of work? Almost immediately, when someone finds out that I work at a sex shop, they ask, “What is the freakiest thing you’ve sold or seen?”

It is a very interesting question. I’ll give you that! But, what may be “freaky” to me, may not be freaky to you…

Someone asked me the same exact question the other day, for the umpteenth time. But, it made me realize I no longer believe that there such thing as “freaky”. People do what they do – whether they are embarrassed about it or not. In fact, it is nothing to be ashamed of in the first place!

But it’s a sort of conundrum, if you think about it… We so open with our opinions and thoughts as a society. We criticize our government openly. We post incriminating photos on Facebook or Instagram. We post our family drama or bad mouth our workplaces on Facebook. But when it comes to sexual desires – we avoid being open and honest about them. It’s kind of disheartening that all of that stuff is not freaky, but quite normal… Yet, people are still afraid to talk about sex and will judge alternative preferences as freaky.

While I may have my own preferences, and you have yours, everyone has theirs own tastes in sex and should be allowed to – whatever their tastes may be! You like toys? Fine. Not into foreplay? Cool.  Like men, women, or both? Whatever. If you knew the amount of people who come into our, but can’t look me in the face, you would be amazed! BUT THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED! I don’t know why anyone is embarrassed about it. People have masturbated for YEARS. They are not the first person, certainly not the last. It also doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. It just says that you want to “spice things up”. And, well… everyone likes to have fun. I think we can agree on that.

There is no need for bashfulness when looking for an item – from a simple vibrator to something more extreme. In our store, we sell almost the exact same amount of both mild and wild! There is a demand for both, even if one might be more mainstream than the other. And, here is where it gets silly… Multiple times a day, I get whispered questions or concerns about something – anal, restraints, vibes, etc. It’s because people are scared for others to hear them… But what they don’t realize is that someone was in the store, right before they were, inquiring about the exact same products just moments before! How funny is that?

We’re not shy about our lives, except when it comes to sex… And it doesn’t have to be that way!

Here is just a list of a few things I think folks shouldn’t be so embarrassed about. Take a look! You may find that what you are afraid to try or ask about is actually quite common…

  • Anal sex… This is probably the most asked about topic in the store. Everyone is doing it, or wants to try it.
  • Prostate stimulation… A lot of men really enjoy prostate play. But, there is a stigma that it means you’re gay if you like it. FACT : You’re not a gay, unless you date/sleep with others of the same sex. FACT: The prostate is an a very sensitive erogenous area and can create intense orgasms when stimulated.
  • Porn… Porn is everywhere. Almost everyone has or is watching it. There’s nothing wrong with that.
  • Toys… Lots of people use toys. And, toys are additive to sex, not substitutions for it. Think of it like this… Ice cream is good on its own. But, it is better with sprinkles! So, adding toys to the mix doesn’t make you a freak.
  • Enhancements… Be it pills, creams, delay gels, or extensions, it’s ok if you need to supplement your sex life! We can’t all be porn stars. We’re busy, tired humans, and sometimes we need a little help.

So, be yourself and do what makes you happy! Normal is relative, and you’re normal… Trust me. I think Dr. Seuss said it best – “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Anal 101: A Beginner’s Guide

I’ll be honest… I like anal sex. I’ve had some of my strongest orgasms during anal sex. I also find there is a certain amount of trust and surrender I experience during anal sex, which is a wild turn-on for me. And, Mr. Big (my lover) likes anal sex, too. It’s pretty hot sex, not to mention a REALLY tight spot for him to put his penis. And what man doesn’t like tight?? But, HE also likes anal stimulation. Press his prostate and he’s putty in my hands.

But for most people, anal sex is such a taboo subject… something that is only done in porn or by gay men. Let’s face it… Most women fear it or find it to be too “dirty”. Most straight men have a fascination with it, but would never dream of stimulating that area on their own bodies. But, the truth be told, it can be very pleasurable for both men and women. It’s because the area is actually one of the most sensitive erogenous zones on your body! Here’s why…

FOR MEN:
*The prostate, located just at the front of the rectum, is essentially the male G-spot.
*This chestnut-sized gland is situated about two inches inside and can be found by slowly inserting a finger and pressing towards the penis.
*Stimulating it or applying pressure with a finger, tongue, or anal plug can provide INTENSE orgasms for men.

FOR WOMEN:
*The rectum is home to tons of nerve endings. Because of this, anal stimulation or sex can produce INTENSE orgasms for women, too!
*This is because anal intercourse, or using a plug, will put firm pressure to the g-spot.
*Also, using an anal plug tightens the vaginal wall, which will create more pleasure for you both!

Want to give it a try? Here are some tips for how to open the backdoor… (wink, wink)

Communicate – Communication is key before and during anal sex or stimulation. Talk to your partner about what you’d like to try, or what fears you may have. During your experimentation, let your partner know how things are going by telling them what you’d like more or less of, and if anything hurts.

Plan – Set aside some quality time to shop for toys and lubrication. Then, make sure you have plenty of time to experiment. Being relaxed is key!! So, make time to massage each other, cuddle, or make out. During your experimentation, GO SLOW. Rushing this is not going to work. Be patient with yourself and with your partner. Remember, this type of penetration requires more trust than traditional sex does. Plowing along full speed ahead can ruin the whole experience and cause your partner pain.

Prepare – Get to know your body and when you’re most “empty”. That can go a long way in keeping things clean. Your rectum is usually empty unless you really need to go. But, if you want to be 100% sure, a mild enema will make certain things are clean.

Lubricate – Your anus does not produce any natural lubrication. So, using a water-based, high quality lube will make things a lot easier. It will reduce friction and make any kind of anal penetration more comfortable. I suggest using System Jo’s H20 anal formula. If you are just really nervous about the pain, try using a desensitizing lubricant such as Liquid Sex’s anal formula. The numbing agent will take the edge off. But, it’s especially important to go slow and gentle with a numbing lube, as you won’t be able to feel if something is not working right.

Start Small – Not ready to jump straight into anal sex? Start with a small plug or vibrating toy, and then work your way up. Even a small toy can make a big impact in heightening your climax. Need ideas? Check out our anal toys online or visit us in-store for more selection!

At the end of the day, if anal stimulation and/or sex are not your thing, no big deal. It’s not for everyone. Sex should be about mutual pleasure. So, there is never any reason to do something you don’t like when your in the bedroom. But if you are the least bit intrigued, it’s worth giving it a try. Who knows? You make like it, and it could open up an entirely new dimension in your sex life. And as always, we at the RedDoor are happy to help you take it to the next level… 😉