Politics of Sexuality

The Case for Masturbation Over Casual Sex…

I don’t often post things from a serious perspective. But, I’ve got some things on my mind that I wanted to share… Just stick with me!

You may not know it from my thoughts and musings, but I am a monogamous, 30-something, single mom. I bet you never would’ve guessed that I would be posting blogs for a sex shop. But, I happen to know a LOT about sex because I’ve always had very adventurous partners. In fact, my friends always call me a “monogamous freak”. It fits. So, trust me when I post something. I know what I am talking about… usually… unless it’s like, bestiality or necrophilia or something… NOT MY THING!!!

I think I’ve made the point before that I am very selective about who I have sex with, due to being a monogamous, 30-something, single mom… (and well, there’s this post that explains some more things about me). I have to be careful – for my child’s sake. In my opinion, I have to stay healthy and whole in order to be a good parent. And therefore, I do not risk my physical or emotional well-being for sex’s sake. I’m not a prude. Don’t get me wrong – I have slipped up from time to time and  have had sex outside of a relationship. I just think it’s dangerous territory for me. So, I don’t do it. It’s never gone right. I end up disappointed because of the sex.

Why? Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… It does not equal love. It does not make up for the things you lack in life. It only feels good while you’re doing it. And it can be downright disappointing physically and/or emotionally, if it’s not done right!

Sex feels good. Oh yes, it does! When your lover circles your pussy with his cock, then plunges in after what seems like forever, it feels like heaven on Earth. It’s like, the best thing EVER! And sex is good for you, too. It relaxes you. It has a bunch of proven health benefits, like headache and blood pressure reduction. Hell, it even burns calories!! Shit… forget your diet and have sex 4 times a day! You’ll look and feel awesome. But, I know that in order to feel good about my own sexual decisions, I have to feel good about the person I am being intimate with… When I don’t feel good about it, I always end up regretting it.

I bet you’re wondering at this point, “why is she even posting this? What a buzz kill!!” Right? I am writing this because I want you to remember you are a bar of gold. You are a valuable commodity. You’re body is your temple, and you do not want to disrespect your temple. Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… STD’s can be forever. Dick-bag boyfriends, or crazy girlfriends, can cause permanent damage. Is that temporary feeling of ecstasy worth it? Sometimes, it might be worth it. Sometimes…

For all those other times, fuck yourself. Masturbate. Take care of your own business. Hell, I know there have been times where I WISH I had masturbated instead of hooking up, either because the sex was lame or the emotional impact was too draining. Listen to me!!! Liberate yourself by taking charge of your own sexual pleasure. Why?

  • Masturbation will put your needs first
  • Masturbation will never give you an STD
  • Masturbation will never cheat on you
  • Masturbation will always let you cum first
  • Masturbation will never lie to you
  • Masturbation will never hurt your feelings
  • Masturbation will never waste your time
  • Masturbation will never make promises it can’t keep

Need more reasons? Here’s scientific reasons to pass on the meaningless sex and stick with the self-pleasure:

  • Masturbation helps you sleep
  • Masturbation relieves cramps and stress
  • Masturbation has been shown to prevent prostate cancer and alleviate UTI’s
  • Masturbation boosts your immunity
  • Masturbation has been shown to improve your mood
  • Masturbation tones pelvic and anal muscles
  • Masturbation lowers Risk Of Type 2 Diabetes

So, skip the dick-bags and the crazy bitches from time to time. Instead, check out our selection of solo toys and make yourself happy!

For the boys – Click Here!  For the gals – Click Here!

 

What’s a girl to do?

I love sex. Have I mentioned that before? I think I have…

But have I ever told you that it’s hard working for a sex shop? You have to work around all this arousing stuff. You get toys for a deep discount and free items from vendors. You amass a black bag the size of a Samsonite, filled with dildos, vibrators, gags, bullets, lubes, butt plugs, restraints, cock rings and more. You have to research products and sex techniques and fetishes. Therefore, you learn more about sex all of the time. You fantasize all of the time. You stay horny all.of.the.time.

Oh sure… You’re thinking, “What’s so hard about that?!?!” Well, for one thing, it’s really hard to find someone adventurous enough to explore all those things you’ve got going on in your head. Yeah, men and women alike will talk a big game with me. But when it comes right down to it, they get scared. They’re intimidated by me and my toy arsenal. They’re worried they might not be able to keep up with me, or that they’ll disappoint me. I get that. I do. But, I want that smack-talking guy with the big dick to walk right in and pull my hair and take me… not one that punks out, loses their erection, or cums after 2 minutes. UGH!

Also, I get bored very easily. I crave exploration. I am surrounded by variety. I am sexually curious every day because I learn new things every day. So, when a lover begins to fall into a routine of plain vanilla sex, I get bored. BORED. I want to try that new position I’ve read about. I want to use my new toys. I want to role-play and act out those fantasies. Don’t give me vanilla every night – give me a new flavor, or at least throw on some freaking sprinkles! UGH!

And now you’re probably thinking, “Surely she must be ugly or mean? It can’t be that hard for a girl to get laid!” Well first off, I’m attractive and curvy. Secondly, I’m one of the nicest, most generous people you’ll ever meet. And to be honest, I’m actually very monogamous and won’t sleep around. I won’t have casual sex because it’s risky for my health… Uh, STD’s anyone? And really, it’s not good for your emotional well-being. But more importantly, it ends up being a colossal waste of time. The smack-talker who said they could match me tit for tat ends up being horrible in bed. HORRIBLE. UGH!

So, YES, it is that hard for me to get laid… and even harder for me to get laid the way I want to be. Why? See above. I’m picky and hard to please. I want thrills and adventure. I want someone who can keep up with me physically and mentally. And, I won’t have casual sex. All of that adds up to me not being willing to have sex with just anyone… and me not getting laid. UGH!

So, what’s a girl to do?

 

 

Say WHAT? 10 Strange Sex Laws You Won’t Believe!

I’m sure I’ve broken a few laws during sex – laws of nature, laws of physics, laws of thermodynamics… Hell, this girl can get really freaky when she feels like it. But, there are some pretty crazy laws in various states that could actually land you in jail! I’m pretty sure I’ve never broken any of THESE laws… Maybe you have?

CALIFORNIA – Anyone having intercourse with Satan must use a condom… Well, best to play it safe with SATAN! You don’t know who or WHAT he’s been having sex with down there in Hell…

FLORIDA – Sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal… Uhm, ok. Wouldn’t that hurt? And besides, there are other kinds of pricks in this world!

GEORGIA – It is illegal to purchase or possess marital aides (vibrators, dildos, etc.)… OOPS! We’d be in trouble! Major, major trouble. I guess there are some things I am willing to go to jail for…

ILLINOIS – Nuzzling or kissing a reptile is prohibited… Well, stay away from the players at the bar because they tend to be total snakes…

PENNSYLVANIA – It is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth… I just wonder if you have to pay for that in exact change…

KANSAS – Anyone caught engaging in anal sex draws a maximum sentence of six months in jail… Hmmm… What If you were in jail when you got caught?

VIRGINIA – It is illegal to copulate in any position except missionary or have sex with the lights on… Oooh! Be a rebel and have sex doggy style in the dark, because that’s so sick and twisted *eyeroll*…

WEST VIRGINIA – It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs… UHM, say WHAT?! As if a smaller animal makes it any better…

ARKANSAS – Moose are not allowed to have sex on city streets… Well, you’re damn skippy they shouldn’t! Who wants to see that?

RHODE ISLAND – Oral sex is considered “abominable, detestable crime against nature,” and such activity brings a 7-to-10-year stretch in the penitentiary… Shit. Sometimes when I am down there, it FEELS like a 7-to-10-year stretch…

 

So, if  you feel like breaking any laws, you BETTER make it worth it! Hit up the RedDoor before you commit the crime and go down with a blaze of sexy glory!

The Business of Ohs

When people find out what I do for a living, they have two reactions: “OH, er, uhm…” or “Ohhhh! That sounds like a fun job”. And to be honest, my job is FULL of oh’s… So their reaction is fitting. But, you may wonder what it’s actually like to work in a sex shop. I bet that based on those two reactions, you have the wrong idea.

Let’s address the first kind of “OH”. That’s the reaction I get from folks who are sketched out by sex… the ones who are scared to talk about it out loud. That’s the response I get from people too embarrassed to actually shop in person at a sex store. And therein lies the misconception that produces that kind of “OH”, the wide-eyes and awkward moment, dropped like a lead balloon on my feet kind of “OH”. It’s ok to be private about your sex life. I’m not saying that you should be wildly open about it. But sex itself, or working in a sex shop, should in fact NOT be embarrassing or awkward. They shouldn’t be because sex is a natural thing. It’s a wonderful thing when shared between two people who care about each other. And even if they don’t care about each other, it can still be a tremendously fun activity. Finding ways to please yourself and/or your partner should not be a bad thing. Helping you discover those ways is part of my job. It actually makes me feel good to help you feel good. I find it fulfilling. So do my coworkers.

And what about that second kind of “Ohhhhh”? Well, yes, it is a fun job. But, it’s not ALL fun and games. I take it seriously. Many people come in because they don’t know how to achieve pleasure. They are unhappy in their sex lives and really want help. That’s no fun for them at all. Those kinds of situations require more tact and sensitivity than fun… Or they come in because they have erectile dysfunction… Or they’ve had a female or male related cancer and are experiencing issues with sexual intercourse. Those are delicate situations that I don’t handle with fun. I handle them with compassion and care. The bottom line is that you encounter so many types of people, with a huge variety of desires, needs, and wants. You can’t always assume that it’s all fun and games.

It’s a very HUMAN job, where people are open about their most basic needs, wants, and desires. We’re dealing with such a private aspect of our customers’ lives. We want everyone to feel comfortable in our store – whether they are in happy or unhappy, open or closed,  or worried or secure in their sex lives. And yes… it is often fun, because sex SHOULD be fun and enjoyable. So, let’s throw those other “ohs” out the window! Let’s focus on “ohs” I like to hear… because in this business, we’re definitely about the o’s…

Do’s & Don’ts for Hotel Sex

It’s Summer, and that means travel. And if you’re like me, travel means lots and lots of hotel sex. So, here are my do’s and don’ts for hotel sex…

DO bring extra batteries for your toys. It may not be convenient to run out and grab some AAA’s when you need them.

DO bring one of our water-proof lubes. There’s the potential for sex in a pool or hot-tub. And, well, there is unlimited hot water in a hotel shower.

DO invest in a Fascinator Throe by Liberator. Hotel bedding can be sketchy. Think of all the fine folks who’ve had sex there before YOU. These plush throws are specially lined to slurp up love juices, lubes, lotions and all the leftovers of sexual play.

DO role-play. You’re in neutral and unfamiliar territory. Take on the role of call girl. Or, meet as strangers at the bar.

DO stay hydrated, or pack a quality lube from System JO. Vigorous activity can leave you dehydrated and make lubrication an issue. Plus, proper hydration prevents muscle cramping, which could ruin that new position you’ve wanted to try.

DO plan to try new things. New surroundings can make everything more exciting. Agree on a few things you’d like to try before you check in. Then, hang up the “do no disturb” sign.

DO bring a sexy playlist for the trip. Playing a little music can go a long way in masking the soundtrack you’ll be creating. This is especially helpful when thin walls abound, when you’re bunking near friends and family.

DON’T run out of towels. You’re bound to need more than your usual share for clean-up and all those long hot showers you may take.

DON’T forget to hang up the “do no disturb” sign. In the heat of the moment, you might not hear the knock-knock-knock of the cleaning staff.

DON’T eat anywhere off the beaten path. Stick to foods and restaurants you know. A little food poisoning can go a long way in ruining your hot and sexy vacation escapades.

DON’T forget your lingerie and toys in the room. The hotel staff will throw them away once you’re gone.

DON’T be stingy with the tip you leave the cleaning staff. They’re used to sketchiness when cleaning rooms. But, a little extra “thank you” would be the right thing to do. I mean, they are cleaning up all those used towels and dirty sheets. And who knows what they may have found under the bed!

You work WHERE?!

When I resigned from my successful career a few years ago due to personal reasons, I never expected to find myself working for a sex shop. You see, I’m in my late 30’s, a professional, a mother, someone with 2 advanced degrees, a monogamous lover… How does someone like me end up working in the “sex industry”?

It’s any easy answer, really. I love sex, everything about it. I love the feeling, the release, the skin-to-skin contact, the adventure, the tease, the flirtation, the spontaneity… everything! My friends know this about me. So, when a friend happened randomly upon a job-listing, she called me and insisted I was perfect for the job… at a sex shop.

At first, I was skeptical. Yes, I’ve tried just about everything in the bedroom. Yes, I am comfortable with my sexuality, and even more comfortable with expressing it. I don’t have any problems talking about sex. But, a sex shop? I wasn’t so sure. Yet, I needed a flexible, part-time job. I wanted something fun and stress-free, just to earn some pocket-change until I figured out what next to do with my life. This fit the bill and I decided to at least give it a shot.

It’s been three years now, and I don’t regret it one bit! At some point in my three years, I left the sales floor for a behind-the-scenes role. Some days, I miss my co-workers and customers. They are some of the most open, honest, and real individuals I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. Sexual preferences and interests are a study in human-nature and personalities. You learn a lot about people when working in such an intimate environment. And, I learned so much about myself, as a woman and as a person. But, it’s honestly been the most fun job I’ve ever had.

So, yes… I work for a sex-shop. It’s not sleazy… at least not at the RedDoor. It’s real, honest work. It’s liberating, enlightening work. It’s humbling, enriching work. It’s fun, exciting work. It fits me, even though I never thought it would…