OVO

Dating and Married Men

Before you immediately get yourself in a big huff, this post is NOT about dating married men! So simmer down and relax! No, no… this post is about my experience as a single woman, and the myriad of married men who contact me on dating websites. It’s my thoughts about why this happens. And, it’s hopefully a eye-opener for both the married men on the sites, and the women who are married to them!

I’ve been single for about 7 months. During that time, I have been on just about every popular dating website – Match, POF, OkCupid, etc. And while on these sites, I cannot count the number of times a married man has messaged me. I’d estimate it at about 2 a week. Mind you, these are the ones who were honest about the fact that they were married. Who knows how many are out there that are lying about their relationship status.

After about the 5th message from a married man, I set aside my dismay and anger, and began to wonder… Why are they on here? Why are they messaging me? Why do they want to cheat on their wives? So, being a curious person, I asked. Yes, I asked. And surprisingly enough, many of them answered in very candid ways.

What did I find out? The most common responses were something along these lines:

“My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore.”
“My wife and I do have sex, but it’s very boring and I need a change.”

Overall, they all expressed their love for their wives. They all said they were otherwise happy and wanted to stay married. But, the common denominator was a lack of satisfaction in their sex lives.

This saddens me. I believe that a fulfilling sex life with your partner is one of the key ingredients to a long-lasting and happy relationship. And, you can’t have a successful love-life without communication. But, it’s one of the last things we as couples feel comfortable discussing. Much of this has to do with societal norms, upbringing, etc. But, it’s something we need to address and change. You should be able to talk about sex with your partner!

And here is my response to the married men who are seeking sex outside of their relationships…

TALK TO YOUR WIVES! Go to her first. Talk to her. Tell her your needs and desires. If you are otherwise happy, you should be able to talk to her about such intimate matters. Maybe she would be willing to try some of the things you want to try. You never know unless you ask. Give her the chance to hear you out!

Furthermore, ask yourself a question – are you being reasonable? Maybe the things you are interested in are not reasonable requests for a happily married couple to experience. If you are basing your desires on porn, realize that those are actors and not everyone does those things. And the threesome you’ve always wanted? That doesn’t happen often and isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

Finally, are you being sensitive? Perhaps she doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore because you are not being sensitive to HER needs. Women need affection and support in order to feel turned-on by their partner. Maybe she resents how little you help out, or how little time you spend with her. Or, could it be that you are not taking the time to make sure she is satisfied? Women need a lot more time, dedication, and stimulation to achieve orgasm. If you are taking care of your needs, and your needs only, I don’t blame her for giving up on sex!

And here is my response to WOMEN of married men who are seeking sex outside of their relationships…

TALK TO YOUR HUSBANDS! Go to him. Talk to him. Tell him your needs and desires. Tell him what you need in order to feel sexy and desired. Tell him what you need to make sex feel better for you. Tell him what you need in order to create time and energy for sex. Give him a chance to learn and change his ways. He’s not a mind-read and he needs you to TELL HIM what you want out of sex!

Or, have you given up on sex? How about on being sexy? I know you work hard, and take care of the kids, and have groceries to get. But, keep in mind that most men are very sexual creatures. Your relationship with him, and the sex he craves, should come before all of those other things in life. I am not saying devote all your time and attention to him. I am saying find a balance. Cut out one activity or obligation a week, and make time for sex!

Finally, don’t be afraid to spice things up. Just because he wants to try a strap-on, or anal, or watching a porn together does NOT mean he is not happy with you. It means that he needs a little something extra and wants to try it with YOU! Be open to the possibilities within your comfort zone. Don’t immediately shut him down. You never know…  you might awaken things within yourself you never thought were possible. You might experience a greater intimacy and satisfaction with your husband.

If it’s something you are willing to work on together, you could connect ways you thought were long gone. A marriage is such an important relationship, and sex should not be the reason why it falls apart. This is especially true in this day and age. Using adult toys, and talking about sex in the media, are much more accepted. There are all sorts of toys and accessories designed especially with couples in mind. And, the options for improving your sex life in the adult toy world are abundant! There’s honestly no reason for a man to look outside of his relationship for sex… nor for a woman to be unsatisfied with sex!

Need ideas… Here are couples toys that could change your sex life:

We Vibe 4 – The world’s no. 1 couples vibrator, completely redesigned for better fit, heightened intensity and more control. She wears it during sex for extra stimulation to her clitoris and G-spot. Together you both share the vibe.

Hump, Bump & Vibe – This discrete cushion elevates the hips for ultimate penetration and g-spot stimulation. Plus, the included bullet makes for extra pleasure by stimulating the clitoris.

OVO B7 Vibrating Cock Ring – The German Designed B7 Pleasure Ring from OVO is rounded for comfortable use and features a dynamic and modern shape. The B7 is showerproof, whisper quiet and constructed of lead-free, phthalate-free, 100% body-safe silicone material. The ring will give him a longer, stronger erection, while the vibe is designed to stroke her clitoris for maximum pleasure.

Luna Beads Mini – Luna Beads are the world’s bestselling Kegel weights system. They ensure that every woman can find her perfect fit for the most effective pelvic floor workout. LELO’s elegant update on the classic ben wa balls offers users longer, stronger, more attainable orgasms; reduced risk of incontinence and other pelvic floor disorders; and a faster return to tone and tightness after giving birth.

Encounter Clitoral/G-spot Lube – New Encounter Female Lubricants are a unique line of specially formulated lubricants to meet the needs and desires of the female body. Amazing Encounter. Using paraben free ingredients and non glycerin based formulations, Encounter Female Lubricants offer women a range of personal care products specifically designed to enhance pleasure with comfort and ease.

Anal Ese – This desensitizing lubricant makes anal penetration more comfortable and pleasurable.

Liquid V – The power of the V has arrived!! Liquid V is the strongest female stimulating product on the market today. It is formulated to help increase stimulation and blood flow to the clitoris and amplify the strength of female climax while producing a warm tingling sensation that women love.

Max Size Cream – A great complement to MaxSize tablets, MaxSize Cream is the only topical erectile enhancement that delivers immediate results. Applied generously MaxSize Cream engorges the penis giving men a firm long lasting erection. With a cooling, heated tingly sensation your partner will love it too. Lightly flavored with mint making it edible.

The Case for High End Toys… by Danny Z

Often as I was growing up, my mother would tell me, “buy the best you can afford.” It’s something that has stuck with me as an adult. Of course we’ve all heard the saying, “you get what you pay for.” I’m cool with that. I understand that not everything is made to last, quality is relative, and rarely does something cheap last. But buying the best you can afford is a little different. It requires the understanding of the value of an item.

See, I am the kind of person who only wants to purchase something once. I’ll buy exactly what I want, even if I had to save up for it. And since I am on a budget, my money is important to me! With that in mind, I do my research ahead of time and want to make sure I don’t waste my money. I do this with almost anything I buy, from vitamins to replacement parts for my bicycle. Amazon and customer reviews are my best friends. They help me justify any purchase I make! And since I am an avid instore buyer, I need that feedback to feel confident in my purchase. Overall, I understand that I am paying a little more here and there for quality. But with that financial sacrifice, I am rewarded with many advantages.

In the world of sex toys, the same principles apply. There are low quality vibes for those on a budget. There’s the mid grade stuff… the stuff that will last a little longer and can handle a little aggression. Then there are the high end toys, which are a completely different level of quality and pleasure. I am not trying to sell you on high end toys, that high end is only the way to go. I love all the product lines we sell. But, I believe in quality and want you to be happy with your purchase. So, as a person who rarely experiences buyer’s remorse, I feel that I should share my wisdom with customers.

Why high end toys? Many of them come with a warranty of a year or more, whereas lower/mid quality toys usually only come with a 30 day warranty. Some higher end toys even have three year and to 15 year warranties. That’s insane! That’s like a car warranty! And it says something about the toys… It says that the manufacturer strongly believes in the quality and durability of their products. That is comforting to know, that my money is coming with the promise that it is not going to waste! No one wants to be disappointed by a manufacturer’s defect, if you know what I mean.

And speaking of quality, almost all high end toys are rechargeable and water proof (literally submergable, like you can play with it in the tub without a worry in the world). They are also made with better quality materials such as medical grade silicone and superior motors. In fact, the motors/vibrations on high toys tend to be faster and/or deeper than less expensive toys. So not only are you paying for quality and durability, your paying for stronger orgasms and greater pleasure!

Whether you need to stick to a budget or you want to splurge, research the products ahead of time! Ask questions! We are here to help, and there is a ton of great information online about most of our toys. At the end of the day, we want you to be happy with your purchase, even if it was with one of our lesser priced toys. But remember what my mom said… “buy the best you can afford.” I don’t think you can ever go wrong with that!

PORN… and lots of it!

I like porn. Is that weird?

If you’re a guy, you’re probably not all that impressed with my declaration. Most guys watch porn. But, if you asked most women, I bet they’d deny ever having watched it. There was a time that I was like that. I thought porn was degrading to women, a form of exploitation. At some point in my adult life, I began to lighten up and enjoy watching it – alone or with a partner. I no longer see it as a bad thing, but as a pleasurable thing that can enhance my masturbation or sex life with a partner.

For me, anal and girl-on-girl porn have the biggest turn-ons. I occasionally like Hentai, as there is something erotic about the domination and destruction of innocence that often happens in Hentai. And, I am more interested in realistic looking porn. The overly made-up and staged stuff doesn’t do it for me. I like my porn to look real, as if these two (or more) people just decided to get it on and happened to have a camera. I also like intense porn, where one act is focused on at length. All the switching up and changing acts or positions is too distracting. Got a girl munching down hard-core on another girl? Yes. Got a guy pounding away on an asshole while the girl cries in pain? Yes.

When I am alone, porn is a great escape. I’m a visual person and a creative person. I need that visual stimulation to get turned on. So, if I am masturbating, porn gets me going better than fantasizing does. But, it’s not only the visuals. In realistic porn, the audio gets me turned on, too. All that moaning and groaning really heightens my masturbation experience.

When I am with a partner, porn just makes it more interesting. I like to curl up next to someone and watch a video that may feature something we’d like to try. Or, maybe it’s something we like to do together already, and we just want to get the juices flowing. Besides, laying next to your partner, feeling them get hard because of the porn… that’s a big turn-on. And then while watching, touching each other or ourselves… that can be very hot! Also, have you ever allowed your partner to watch porn while you do whatever the porn-star is doing? It’s like your partner is getting to be in the porn. It’s like living out the fantasy of having sex with someone else without having to cheat.

And did you know that research shows porn can be beneficial for couples? Yes! It’s true! There are studies that show watching more porn results in increased sex drive and activity between partners, either when the partners watched it alone or together. Research has also shown that porn makes couples more spontaneous and less inhibited. So, not only were they more likely to have sex, more often, they were more likely to try new things! And, porn has been shown to improve your technique. Think about it… when watching porn, don’t you learn new tricks? Yes, yes you do!

If you’ve never watched porn, I can see how you’d be intimidated. The actors tend to have hot bodies, big boobs, and large dicks. But, try watching amateur porn. It’s full of people just like you and I. Want to give it a go? Try a free website like pornhub.com, yuvutu.com, or redtube.com. You can search by category and focus on what you like. Don’t want to search on the computer? Pick up a $9.99 video from our stores. We carry very tame titles and couples oriented videos for the faint of heart. Also, try watching the porn alone at first. If you don’t like it, you’ve only wasted your time and you haven’t gotten your partner’s hopes up. Then, if you do like it, mention it to your partner and see their eyes light up! I promise that anything you pick out, from wild to tame, will turn them on.

Sexy Ways to Survive Your Break-up!

I recently went through a break-up and it sucks! I’m not going to lie. I didn’t WANT to break up with my man. But, I also didn’t want to continue being with someone who couldn’t love me or take care of me the way I want and need to be loved and cared for. And even though I was the one who dumped him, it still hurts… and well, I’m sometimes lonely and bored without him because now I have more time to fill.

Maybe you’re in the same boat as me… just tired of bullshit and preferring to be alone. Or, maybe you were the one who was dumped. That REALLY sucks! Being dumped can really crush the spirit for a while. You’re going to be lonely and depressed until you realize it’s probably for the best that things happened the way they did.

But whether you were the dumper or dumpee, there are lots of sexy things to help you cope with a break-up…

1. Grab some condoms and have a one night stand… or three.

Now, I am not one to promote casual sex. It’s just not my thing. But, a SAFE, random romp with a stranger can temporarily make you feel sexy, wanted, and free. The sex can be as wild and uninhibited as you want it to be. And, a few one night stands will help ease the sexual tension you may feel as the result of losing your partner. Just remember to stop by our store and pick up some of the wide variety of condoms we sell. AND remember, it’s just s.e.x. It’s not a relationship and will likely never go anywhere. If you can do that, you can get the ego boost and sexual release that will help you over the break-up hump.

2. Masturbate… a lot.

The time after a break-up can be tough if you enjoyed the sex. So, invest in a high-quality sex toy or masturbator to ease the tension. Hey, a sex toy is a lot less complicated than a one night stand or friend with benefits… and a lot safer. Also, sex toys won’t make you feel miserable. They won’t hurt your feelings. They won’t bug you or blow up your phone. And, there are some AMAZING toys out there that almost make another person irrelevant. And pleasing yourself will help you resist the urge to run back to your ex just for the sake of sex!

For guys, I suggest a Tenga Fliphole. These toys won’t cause drama and are a lot cheaper than having a girlfriend!

For gals, I suggest any one of the OVO Rabbits. These toys are affordable, powerful, and durable… Probably more powerful and durable than your last boyfriend… and most likely much more dependable!

3. Update your underwear.

I know this might sound like a weird suggestion. But, hear me out… You wore that underwear to turn him or her on. So, chuck it! Burn it in the fireplace. Cut it up and mail it to him/her in a package. Whatever you do, get rid of it all. Then, come by one of our stores and pick up some sexy new underthings for guys or gals! Having sexy new underwear can really make you feel better. Just knowing you have on something underneath your jeans can make you exude an air of sexiness. And that will surely attract new people into your life… or at least give you back a little swagger in your walk.

4. Flirt… a lot.

It can take a while to let go of the feelings from a break-up, whether you were the dumper or dumpee. And, maybe you are not ready to rejoin the dating world because you don’t want new drama, or are afraid of getting hurt. But, you can and should flirt. Flirting boosts your ego, makes you smile, and is completely harmless. It will remind you that you are sexy and desirable. And even if you just aren’t ready for that next step, it will help you to see that there are a lot of fish in the sea.

5. Learn from it.

Learning from your mistakes is sexy. Why? Because knowing your needs and wants makes you a more confident person, and therefore a sexier person. Next time, you’ll know more about what you do and don’t want/need. You’ll look for someone who is interested in fulfilling your desires, as much as they are interested in having theirs fulfilled. You won’t settle for less. That knowledge confidence, and power is all extremely sexy!