kinky sex tips

Sexy and Sensual Sensation Play!

What is “sensation play”?

Well, it depends on how you’re doing it. In short, it simply means experimenting with the senses.

For most vanilla couples, sensation play would be anything that delights in the senses, or erotic activities that impart physical sensations upon a partner. These activities could include the use of silk scarves, feathers, ice, massage oils, warm wax, and other similar implements. This is the more sensual side of sensation play, where the sensations are generally pleasing and light.

For kinkier couples or those who enjoy BDSM, sensation play can be much more intense. In this case, there tends to be more emphasis on a dominant partner controlling deliberate acts of deprivation and/or tactile stimulation. The play is meant to heighten and intensify the experience of a submissive partner. Most of the time, BDSM tactile sensation play involves some level of pain, which is meant to release endorphins. Deprivation of sensation often involves blindfolding, gagging, restraining, and orgasm prevention.

How do I get started?

To begin with, sensation play only limited by your imagination and desire. So, talk to your partner and begin a conversation about what you would like to try. Here are some questions to help your explore:

  • What do you both want to experience?
  • Are you more interested in being deprived of a sensation?
  • Or, are you interested in tactile sensations?
  • Are you going to take turns, or have one person in control?
  • What are the boundaries in terms of intensity and pain?

Next, the sensations you create can come from just about anywhere. So round up some “pervertibles”. Pervertibles are common household objects that can be “perverted” for a sexual use. They are also great for using during sensation play. Think of objects you may have around the house that could be used as blindfolds, restraints, or that will provide some sort of tactile sensation.

Finally, set aside a nice chunk of time to play. Sensation play is the best when you are both relaxed and have time to spend exploring each other bodies. Remember, this is all about exploring and experimenting. So, if something isn’t working, pick a new sensation to play around with.

What are the most common “pervertibles”?

Here is a quick list to get you started:

  • Scarves and neckties – both are useful for creating blindfolds, restraints, and gags
  • Brushes – they may great spanking devices and provide a tactile sensation when grazed across skin
  • Lotions and baby oil – both will provide a decent massage
  • Ice – run it across your lovers lips, nipples, etc. Or, run it across your lips and tongue, then use your mouth on your partner.
  • Candles – 2 words: hot wax… drizzle it across your partner’s skin
  • Feathers and fingers – both make for great tickling devices
  • Clothespins – they provide a light pinch for nipples and skin
  • Leather belts – useful for light licks or intense whacks
  • Toothbrush – graze across the skin and erogenous areas
  • Spoons – pop them in the freezer or a cup of hot water, then touch your partner with them

Really, the skies the limit. Anything can be used to create a sensation. Again, you are only limited by your creativity and desire.

What are the best toys for sensation play?

The RedDoor carries a large selection of items that can be used for sensation play. These are my top suggestions:

sensation sets

1. Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Shock Therapy Kit – Give your sex life a “charge” with this incredible deluxe electro-sex kit. This electric stimulation Shock Therapy Kit is perfect for first-timers and those familiar to e-stimulation alike. With over 100 stimulation combinations to choose from, the possibilities are endless.

2. Pocket Dungeon Kit – the Erotic Adventurer. Pocket Dungeon features a top grade, napa leather case, chock filled with essentials, for all of your erotic adventures. Pocket Dungeon Kit includes: Riding Crop, Blindfold, Door Jams/Flashlights, Cuffs, Padlocks, Nipple Clamps, Claws, Bandeau, Knife, Leather Flogger, Ball Chain Flogger, Whip, Cane, Rope, Kubaton.

Hello, Kinky: How to Introduce a Fetish or Kink!

spankingI am not what you would call “vanilla.” I like to do things in the bedroom that most people would consider adventurous. I often find myself holding back on my desires when I first meet someone. It’s because letting down your guard can be hard, especially when it comes to your deepest desires. So, expressing those desires to a new partner can be a little scary. Will they laugh at you? Will they slap you? Will they run off? Maybe…

But, perhaps they may get excited and entertain the idea of enjoying those desires with you. Maybe they’ve had those same desires all along. Let’s face it… almost EVERYONE has some type of kink, fetish, and at minimum, fantasy. We all have something that we think others won’t do, or may think is weird. Opening up to each other shouldn’t be so scary. It should and can be a fun process of discovery!

So, here are some tips on how to share your kinks, fetishes, fantasies, and other twists with your partner!

1) Own your kinks.

Realize that most fantasies, fetishes, and kinks are more normal than you think… then, get comfortable with that fact. If you are comfortable with your desires, your partner will be more comfortable with your desires. It’s that simple. If you pitch the idea as something out of the ordinary, it only serves to make things awkward. So, own your kink. Do not be ashamed of it.

2) Make sure your partner knows this is special for you.

Sharing a secret with someone implies trust. So, when sharing a kink, make sure you let your partner know that is it because you TRUST them with this special information. Emphasize that this is a desire you want to share only with them, that it is because you find them desirable and special. And, to further the point, make sure your partner knows that by fulfilling your desires, they become irresistible to you.

3) Show your partner examples.

This helps confirm that your kink is, in fact, fairly normal. Anal, foot fetishes, spanking, bondage, dom/sub, squirting… Yep, all pretty routine kinks. And for just about any kink, you can find a video, blog, and/or article explaining, demonstrating, or praising it. But, don’t just spring this information on them. Set aside a time to explore the kink together. Once you’ve opened up the topic, simply ask your partner if they would be open to watching a video or reading an article on the subject. If they say “yes”, give them time and space to explore the idea.

4) Don’t bring out the big guns first.

Go slow. Start small. Ease them into it. Don’t show up with a whip and a leather mask just yet… Pick something in your kink that’s not intimidating and work your way up. The more comfortable your partner gets with the kink, the more you can introduce. Plus, if you allow someone to go at their own pace, you increase the likelihood of them saying “yes” to something you want to try.

5) And finally… COMMUNICATE!

Whatever your kinks, fetishes, fantasies, or desires are, don’t hold them back from your partner. Being sexually unsatisfied isn’t fun for anyone.  So, talk about what you want… I firmly believe that with patience, communication, and respect, partners can satisfy each others desires, no matter how varied they may be!

How to get your girl to swallow!

It’s the age-old question – do you spit or swallow? It’s on every guy’s mind. It’s the one thing they need to know before considering having sex with you. The answer could easily sway their opinion of you. Swallow? You could be his dream girl. Spit? He’s on the fence for sure!

I swallow. I know… it’s a radical idea. A girl that swallows?! Say what?! Well apparently, less than 30% of women swallow. I had no idea I was so special. I’ve been single a while and the question comes up from time to time in conversation. When I tell a guy that I swallow, this little light bulb goes off above their head. Or, they get a wicked gleam in their eyes. I can see the hamster wheel spinning… I can hear their internal voice whisper, “this girl is a keeper!”

Well, fellas… Have you ever thought about WHY I might be so rare? Why is it that so few women want to swallow your junk? A lot of it has to do with how you treat her and how you taste. It’s really as simple as that. So, stay tuned, and read away… If you follow these simple steps, your girl might be more likely to swallow!

1. RECIPROCATE – That’s right… reciprocate. If you are not willing to go down on your girl, then why should she be willing to take a load of your cum? So, if you want your girl to be more receptive to oral, give her more oral. She’ll be more likely to please you, if she is being pleased.

2. CLEAN YOURSELF – Make sure your parts are fresh and clean. A pair of sweaty balls is not the most appetizing thing in the world. Shower or freshen up before foreplay. Even a quick wipe down with a warm washcloth can go a long way. All sweaty and gross? Skip foreplay altogether!

3. EAT RIGHT – Eating kiwi, plums, blueberries, cranberries, watermelon, pineapple, and celery will lighten the taste of your cum. Beer and coffee will make your cum taste bitter. Dairy products can produce putrid tastes. So, watch what you eat! Sweeter cum is easier to swallow. Just sayin’!

4. SWEETEN THE DEAL – Cum can be hard to swallow. It’s thick and pasty. It doesn’t exactly taste great. So, sweeten the experience for her. Incorporate sweet foods like chocolate covered strawberries or champagne. After she swallows, feed her a bite of the berry and a sip of the bubbly! It’ll wash away the taste, and it’ll be romantic!

At the end of the night, whether she swallows is not a measure of how much she enjoys being with you, or her worth as a partner. If your girl simply can not swallow, don’t pressure her. And don’t be offended! Find other ways to enjoy the blowjob. You could always, pull out and cum on her chest. That’s got to be just as hot, right?! Give my advice a shot. But, if you’re load is still too much to swallow, don’t worry! You’re still getting a blowjob. Beggars can’t be choosers!

Butt plugs… yes, butt plugs!

I know what you’re thinking… “A whole post about butt plugs?!” YES! This is an entire blog dedicated to butt plugs.

Why? Because I have a thing about butt plugs. I just like the way they feel. I like the sensation they provide during masturbation or sex… Therefore, I’ve tried many different sizes, shapes, and materials. I’ve tried non-vibrating and vibrating. So, I wanted to impart my knowledge and opinions on the best things to put up your butt. 😛

To begin with, let me tell you why you should use a butt plug. If you’re a man, that’s an easy answer – prostate stimulation. A butt plug will press against your prostate, which feels really good if you’re willing to try it. Plus, the pressure on your prostate will cause a much stronger, more intense orgasm. If you are a woman, a similar reasoning applies. You also have strong nerve endings in your rectum. The pressure will in turn create stronger, more intense orgasms. In addition, the pressure tightens your vaginal wall. During penetration, the snugger fit will make it easier for your partner to stimulate your g-spot. See? Butt plugs are good for everyone!!

Before you get started using an sort of plug, consider your 2 things: your lube and your anal experience level…

In regards to lubes, a silicone-based lube is the best choice for anal, as it does not absorb quickly into the rectum. That means it will last longer and create a smoother glide. However, silicone lube cannot be used with any sort of rubber, jelly, PVC, or silicone toys. It will melt the material, which is a big bummer (pun intended). But, silicone lubes work great on glass, ceramic, or metal toys. If you plan to use a rubber, jelly, PVC, or silicone toy, make sure you use a water-based lube. Just keep in mind that you may need to reapply the lube often, as it will eventually be absorbed into the rectum.

In regards to experience, pick a size that fits your level of anal comfort. If it’s your first time, don’t go for the big plug. Start small and work your way up! Even a finger-sized plug can provide some extra sensation and enjoyment.

Now, here are my suggestions on butt plugs. All of these plugs I have used, some of them more than others. There’s a little something for everyone, and I don’t think you can go wrong with any of my picks…

Doc Johnson Classic Butt Plug Small – A classic toy for beginners, this butt Plug has a smooth, tear drop shape ideal for first-time insertion. The tapered body gives a comfortable feeling and flared base holds the toy securely in place. The plug is made from non-phthalate body safe material. It’s safe to use with water-based lubes.

High Intensity Vibro Tease – This is also a great toy for beginners! This slender probe has a removable, high-intensity, quiet, push button stimulator. The vibrations are strong enough to resonate through the rectal wall, making it pleasurable for your partner, too! It’s also made from a soft jelly material, which is easy on the bottom!! It’s safe to use with water-based lubes.

Ceramix No. 2 – This is a plug I would suggest for someone who is more experienced in anal play. It has an ultra smooth surface for easier insertion. It’s hollow and features a silicone plug at the base, allowing you to fill it with warm or cold water. The toy will heat up or cool down instantly and will retain the adapted temperature for up to 20 minutes. The extra sensation of temperature play can take the anal experience to a whole new level! This plug is safe to use with silicone-based or water-based lubes.

Ram Inflatable Vibe Expander – This plug can be used by both beginners or the more experienced. Deflated, the largest end has a 1.375 inch diameter. When used for training, the expanding size can help go from slow to WHOA! Inflated, the RAM provides big stretch! So the more advanced player can pump up the volume to super size. It has a variable speed vibrator that everyone will enjoy. It’s safe to use with water-based lubes.

Metal Worx Slim Fave – This plug can be used by both beginners or the more experienced. This luxurious, dual-ended metal pleasure is made from high quality steel. It’s an all-in-one toy, perfect for vaginal or anal play. The hygienic metal finish is sleek, nonporous, and easy to clean, while the design is made to excite. The smooth, metallic surface adds in insertion, too! This plug is safe to use with silicone-based or water-based lubes.

For more anal toys, visit us online at http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/fun-with-toys/anal-play.