Clitoris

Why I want lesbian sex and other musings…

I like women almost as much as I like men. I identify as straight for the most part, because I’m more inclined to have relationships with men. However, I am just as pleased by sex with women as I am with men. And unfortunately, it’s been a while since I have had the pleasure of being sexually intimate with a woman. I miss that…

I was in an on-again, off-again relationship with a man for the last few years. I didn’t feel comfortable developing a relationship with a woman on the side, for a few reasons. First of all, it felt wrong to me. Ultimately, I am a monogamous person. I like to be with one person at a time. And so, I denied that side of myself for the sake of the relationship.

Honestly, I am not opposed to threesomes or open relationships. I’ve certainly had a few damn good threesomes in my life! But, I find that I need to have them outside of a relationship, just for the fun of it, no strings attached. Within a relationship, I think it’s a recipe for trouble. Or maybe I just haven’t been with a person that could handle something like that and still maintain my trust.

So that leads me to my second reason for abandoning female companionship… I didn’t trust this guy. It’s true. I felt that if I introduced another woman to our relationship, he’d become greedy. I also didn’t trust him to remain mine. To me, another woman would’ve been a gift he would’ve taken advantage of, and I could totally see him ruining what we had because of it.

But we’re not together now and I miss the company of women… Le sigh…

Being with a woman, to me, is a much more sensual experience. Why?

Women are soft. Our bodies are curved and luscious. We smell and taste sweet. Even with urgency, passion, or roughness, during sex, there is still an edge of delicateness to everything.

Women understand each others bodies better. A woman knows a vagina like the back of her hand because she has one. She knows what will please a woman because she is one. She knows the sensitive areas because she has them.

We can handle each other with a knowledge and care that men just don’t seem to possess. We can talk to each other about our needs without fear of hurting a sensitive male ego.

I think I’ve mentioned a few of my desires and fantasies before… I love clit grinding. Two female bodies rubbing together for mutual pleasure is about the hottest thing I can think of! I also love going down on a woman. The soft, fleshy feel of a woman against your face and tongue is so much more erotic than having a pole shoved down your throat. And then there are breasts… Who does not like round, luscious breasts? Even most gay men can admire a nice set of boobs. Or what about fingers? Women have soft fingers and are much more delicate when using them. The idea of a woman stroking me through my panties really makes me feel warm and fuzzy. And honestly, sex toys are mostly made for women. So, there are so many ways you can tease and play with each other using toys. It keeps things from getting too boring when you have to be creative and use toys, fingers, and tongues!

Now that I am single again, I’m going to explore my desires. But for now, I am going to explore myself and update my dating profile to “bi”. I hope that the next time I report back, my musings are about how much I enjoyed the lesbian sex I’ve been having…

For strap-ons, vibrators, bondage gear and more, please visit us online at http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/!

Oral Sex 101: Tips for Great Oral!

red lips

Oral sex… *Sigh*

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had a man boast that he is awesome at going down. He raves about the compliments he’s received in the past. But, when he starts pleasuring you, it either feels like a beaver gnawing on your privates or like a Dyson has locked on to your clit! Or for you guys, there’s the girl who boasts of her skills in sucking dick. But when she’s down there, she barely moves her lips and throat around your shaft, and mostly uses her hands. Or, she really sucks… like s Dyson has locked on to your dick!

I know that everyone likes something different when it comes to getting off. Maybe you like the above oral sex techniques. I’m not judging… But, listen up all you Dyson-mouthed folks! When done with some skill and attention, oral sex can be a much more amazing experience than the ones I’ve had above! So, here are my tips on how to give great oral sex…

These tips are for everyone:

1. Start fresh! A shower can go a long way in making oral much more pleasant for the giver! And if you’re receiving the oral, being clean will make you more comfortable and at ease.

2. Communicate! Tell your partner up front what you like and don’t like. During the oral, give encouragement or softly spoken suggestions. Moaning and groaning works, too!

3. Reciprocate! Reciprocate! Reciprocate! If you don’t like to give, it really discourages your partner from wanting to give. So, do unto to others as you would have done to you!

 

If you’re going down on her:

1. Slow down! It’s not a race! Warp speed tongue action does nothing but frustrate the average women. And most likely, a steady build will create a much more intense orgasm for her.

2. Don’t munch the rug! Teeth are ok… but that means a little nibble here or there. Repetitive gnawing is not really a pleasurable feeling for most women.

3. Yes, sucking on my clit is a pleasurable feeling… when done lightly! Don’t go all Dyson on me!

4. Don’t like to go down because of the “taste”? Well that’s not fair. Consider using a flavored lube and get to licking! Not only will it taste good to you, it actually enhances the feeling for me.

5. Apply a little pressure. Light licks will tease me. Mixing in firmer licks will get me there.

 

If you’re going down on him:

1. Take him deeply into your mouth and stroke up and down, allowing him to feel the back of your throat. I know this seems basic. But, many of us who give blow-jobs end up focusing solely on the head of the penis. That can be too intense or frustrating for a man. Think of your mouth as a vagina. How would a man use his penis in vagina? Would he just poke the tip in repeatedly? NO! He goes all in and then almost all out. Do the same with your mouth!

2. Don’t be a Dyson. Lightly sucking, yes. Creating an oral vortex, no. Sucking dick doesn’t mean literally turning your mouth into a vacuum.

3. Try a little flavored lube. If you’re like me, sometimes your mouth gets dry. A dry mouth is no fun for anyone. Using lube will keep the moisture up and the friction down.

4. Some guys like a little teeth. Gently graze the back side of his shaft with your teeth. But, don’t go all cheese grater on him!

5. Use your tongue. Running the tongue along the back of his shaft and the head of his penis adds that extra wow factor. Also, using your tongue to gently apply pressure as you move up and down can create a tighter feel for him.

 

Read these tips! Study them! Master them! Don’t be that person who boasts of your skills, but disappoints in the bedroom. Don’t be the beaver gnawing away or the Dyson set to VORTEX. Just don’t. 🙂

 

Solo Time: Tips for pleasing yourself

Whether you’re single, or just need a little alone time without your partner, masturbation is a good way to release some sexual energy. Aside from being fun, masturbation has also be proven to be good for you! And, it’s never a crime to be good to yourself… Masturbation can boost your immunity, relieve stress, help with sexual function, and may even reduce risks of cancer. So in honor of self-pleasure, here are tips to make your solo time very satisfying!

FOR HIM:

Try a masturbator… It’s not be the real thing. But, mastubators are still fun, snug, and feel great! And, you get to have faux oral, vaginal, or anal sex with any number of porn stars. We even carry fantasy styles, if you’re feeling particularly freaky!! Check out our selection here.

Use a warming lube in your hands or with a masturbator for a more lifelike, enhanced feel… The warm sensation adds to the realism and feels great on your penis. Check out our selection here.

Try watching a POV porn… Shot at a realistic angle for a fantasy feel, these pornos make you feel like you are part of the action. Pair the POV porn with a masturbator to match the action and you’re set!

Use nipple clamps… Your nipples are full of erogenous nerves. Stimulating them feels great. Plus, the extra pinch will intensify your climax! Check out our selection here.

Try an anal plug… Stimulating and applying pressure to the prostate with an anal plug can provide INTENSE orgasms for men. Check out our selection here.

Squeeze your balls… That’s right. Gently (or firmly) squeeze and tug down on your own balls right before you climax. This will also create a much more energetic and intense climax.

FOR HER:

Get to know your clitoris… 80% of women need some clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. The best way to master the clitoral orgasm is to be hands-on! Using a good lube and your fingers, stroke your clitoris with the speed and pressure that feels right for you. Don’t want to use your hands? Try stroking a vibrating toy against your clitoris for maximum please. Check out our selection here.

Get to know your g-spot… applying pressure to the g-spot will create a much more pleasurable experience and can intensify your orgasm. Try using a vibrator that is specially designed to rub against the g-spot. Check out our selection here.

Use a quality lube… Lube on your clitoris, as well as a toy, will create a more sensual experience. Try a warming or cooling lube for even more heightened sensations. Check out our selection here.

Get in the mood… Try reading some of our erotica, or watching a little porn, to get you turned on. Either will enhance your mood and will help you to create a fantasy you can pleasure yourself to. Check out our erotica here.

Give anal a try… An anal toy or plug puts pressure on the vaginal wall and will greatly intensify your orgasm. Not to mention, the anus is packed full of erogenous nerves endings! Check out our anal toys here.

Hit the water… the warm sensation of a bath or shower goes a long way in relaxing your body. A relaxed body will make it easier to achieve orgasm and can make your climax stronger… and it also feels sensuous to have the water against your skin. Want to use a toy in the bath? Try one of our completely water-proof vibes such as the We-Vibe 3 or the Form 2 by Jimmy Jane.

The Clitoral Truth…

The Clitoral Truth: Facts every woman (and man) should know!

Wow. You don’t know how many people I have encountered who do not know what a clitoris is… OR what to do with it!! It’s SUCH an important part of a woman’s sexual pleasure. And because it’s so important, I’m dedicating a blog to educateing and enlightening you about the clitoris!

FACTS:

  • The clitoris is a small bud-like formation that is located slightly above the opening to the vagina.
  • Clitoris size and shape differs from woman to woman, but it is generally between 1/8″-3/8″ in size.
  • The clitoris is the only human organ designed purely for pleasure, and no other reason.
  • The clitoris is equivalent to the penis; it’s packed with nerve endings & becomes engorged when she’s aroused.
  • Because the clitoris is like a penis, a woman almost always needs some sort of clitoral stimulation to climax.

VITAL INFO: 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Penetration isn’t enough on its own.

TIPS:

  • Consider pleasing her FIRST. Since most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, foreplay is a must!
  • When pleasuring the clitoris manually or orally, go slowly and use lots of lube. Slow, steady, gentle, repetitive strokes will create a much more intense orgasm.
  • For extra sensation, use a clitoral pump or a clitoral stimulating gel to increase blood flow.
  • Positions for maximizing clit stimulation are girl on top and rear entry. Both provide access to the clitoris for either manual stimulation or vibrator stimulation. Check out our clitoral vibes here!
  • Remember… Every woman is different! Talk to your partner about what makes HER happy and go from there!

Me vs. the We-Vibe 3…

When I first saw the We-Vibe, I’ll admit… I was skeptical. I had friends who SWORE by it, said it changed their sex lives, that it was a miracle for couples. It’s a strange looking toy, not like your average phallic, rabbit-laden styles. It kind of resembles a boomerang. I’ve used a lot of sex toys in my life. I mean, I work for a sex shop. But, this toy confounded me. I held out and wouldn’t believe the hype… until We-Vibe gave me their latest model, the We-Vibe 3. And who can turn down a free sex toy? So, I charged up my We-Vibe 3 and accepted the challenge.

Later that day, my partner stared at me with a confused look on his face. “What is it again? And, you said we do what with it?” You see, the We-Vibe 3 is a couple’s toy. You insert one end in the vagina and the other end sits on your clitoris. The whole thing vibrates. Your partner slides in under the end that’s in your vagina. It results in a tighter fit and vibrating stimulation for both your vagina and clitoris, and also his penis. And, the vaginal end pushes up against your g-spot – a triple whammy for the clit, g-spot, and residing penis. Yay! Now, maybe you are starting to see where my skepticism came from… How does it fit in there? How does that create life-altering sex? Wouldn’t your average bullet do something similar?

Despite our reservations (and maybe a smidge of confusion), my partner and I experimented with the We-Vibe 3. I’ll admit, it was awkward at first. But, once things got going, it heightened everything. My g-spot was being pressed on like it was a magic button of love. My clitoris was so excited it didn’t even know what the hell to do. And, the vibrating against my partner’s penis… well he wasn’t complaining!! So, yeah, yeah, we were convinced.

But, we got to thinking… and you know how dirty minds are once they get to thinking. The We-Vibe 3 happens to have some nifty features. It’s completely submersible under water. It comes with a wireless remote control. And, it’s made of body-safe silicone that grips to your skin. When you take into consideration those three features, it opens up a world of possibilities. Boy did we think up some possibilities! Here’s the top ways we use our We-Vibe 3:

  • Wrap it around his balls while giving him head – my partner loves extra attention to the boys. The gripping silicone gently clings to the balls, providing a light squeeze AND vibration. He loves this!
  • Use it as a wireless panty vibe – He keeps the remote; I wear the We-Vibe 3 in my panties. With the click of a button, he can tease me anywhere, anytime. We’ve utilized it on many dinner dates… check please!
  • Use it as anal toy – if you like a little backdoor stimulation, the We-Vibe 3 is an awesome choice. One end slips in your bottom, while the other end vibrates against your perineum. He’ll love that he can feel the vibration through your vaginal wall.
  • Try it on his prostate – My partner likes anal stimulation, as well. The shape of the We-Vibe 3’s head puts the pressure on his prostate, making him act like a crazy man. So, he’ll use it while I am giving him head or during sex.
  • Use it for double penetration – This is my favorite way to use the We-Vibe 3. I slip the bigger end inside my vagina and have the other end resting on my clit. Then, my partner and I lube up for anal penetration. The gripping silicone holds the toy in place really well.
  • Use it as a solo toy – The We-Vibe 3 is powerful enough to use for masturbation. Why buy a rabbit when the We-Vibe 3 can do double duty as a couple’s toy AND a solo toy?!
  • Update on 7/19/13 – This just in… We came up with yet another use! I used the bigger head inside, with the smaller head placed on my perineum. Then, my partner went down on me. It was amazing! Unlike traditional toys, the shape of the WeVibe makes it so the toy is not in the way during oral sex!

So, in the end, I am a believer. It has changed my sex-life! We keep it charged up and ready to go in case we’re ready to go! The We-Vibe 3 wins every time…

 

we vibe3