Casual sex

Old-Fashioned Sex Advice Revisited

Sixty years ago, a woman’s pleasure was a thing to be whispered about. Sex outside of marriage was shameful. Sex toys, or anything other than missionary, were for cheap girls and harlots. We’ve certainly come a long way when it comes to adventurous sex. Porn is mainstream. Adult stores are big business, no longer back alley establishments. And movies like “50 Shades of Grey” have inspired women everyone to try a little BDSM. But should we completely discard old-fashioned beliefs about sex? Let’s take a look…

Old-fashioned Tip #1 – Your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego. Morale is a woman’s business.

This isn’t bad advice. Appreciating and complimenting your man builds up his confidence. And confidence is good for the bedroom. The more you praise his manhood and his efforts, the more he’s going to want to please you.

Old-fashioned Tip #2 – If you are one of those frigid or sexually anesthetic women, don’t be in a hurry to inform your husband about it.  To the man it makes no difference in the pleasurableness of the act whether you are frigid or not, unless he knows that you are frigid.  And he won’t know unless you tell him, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Uhm, wrong. This one is definitely wrong with a capital “W”. A man knows if you are not enjoying yourself. And, if you are not enjoying himself, chances are it will ruin some part of the act for him. Can he still get off and orgasm even if you’re bored to tears? Yes, probably. But, can it also affect his performance and make it less pleasurable? Definitely. Only a major asshole doesn’t care if you are bored and miserable. So, throw this advice out the window and talk to your partner about what you do and don’t like. If he doesn’t want to listen and please you, ditch him!

Old-fashioned Tip #3 – Underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying, but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford.  And the color should be preferably pink.  And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man.

This one has some merit to it. Not all men like lingerie or fancy underwear. But if you want to feel sexy… and you want him to see you as sexy… make sure whatever you’re wearing is in good shape, flattering, and preferably in a color you or he loves. No one is sexy is undies with stains or holes in them. So, I am not talking about always wearing satin and lace. You can still be sexy in cute cotton bras and panties. And the color doesn’t have to be pink. According to my research, men prefer black or white.

Old-fashioned Tip #4 – While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured.

Say what? No. Just no. This is one old-fashioned sex tip I can’t believe exists! Sex should never be revolting or painful. If it is, you’re doing it wrong! Even when you want it to be painful, that should come from a place of pleasure, because you find that enjoyable.

Old-fashioned Tip #5The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

Problem #1 with this tip… Sex no longer has to be enjoyed under the confines of marriage. Problem #2… If you are married, lessening the frequency of sex is bound to take its toll on your relationship. In fact, married couples should work hard to stay committed, keep things fresh, and try to have sex as much as possible. Distancing yourself from each other sexually is a fast track to divorce. Don’t let kids, work, and life get in the way of being intimate with each other.

Old-fashioned Tip #6A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.

Oh, quite the contrary my friends! Being naked has many benefits to your health AND makes you want to have sex more often. How? It increases your circulation and improves your confidence – both of which have been proven to increase sex drive and sexual pleasure!

While we may learn from the past in most other circumstances, sex doesn’t seem to be one of them! Thank goodness we’ve come so far so that we can cum so far. I’ll take modern sex any day of the week!

XOXO, Bella

Why you should give the gift of sex…

sexy-christmas-santa-hatIt’s the Holiday season. You have a long list of things to do, gifts to get, and people to see. You may think you don’t have time for sex. Maybe you’re too stressed out to fool around. Perhaps the family is around, and you don’t want them all up in your business. But, you should make time for sex, whenever and wherever possible during the Holidays. Think about it… sex is about giving and receiving pleasure. So naturally, that makes sex the perfect gift – for yourself and your partner! Here’s why:

1. It’s free! That’s right… it doesn’t cost one red cent!
2. It’s a gift you can both enjoy, any time, all year-round.
3. It burns calories. And with all those Holiday meals, we all need to burn a few calories!
4. It doesn’t require a trip to the mall. No parking needed. No creepy Santas.
5. It spreads Holiday cheer and joy. Who isn’t happy after fucking?!
6. It’s more desirable than socks, fruit cakes, or gawdy sweaters. No one wants that shit!
7. It’s relaxing. All that Holiday stress will just melt away.
8. It’s many gifts in one – oral, vaginal, anal, hand-jobs, and more!
9. It’ll bring you closer together… more so than the double-Snuggie!
10. Orgasms. The end.

Happy Holidays from us to you! Stop by for great stocking stuffers and sexy gifts!
Visit us online at www.thereddoorstore.com!

The Case for Masturbation Over Casual Sex…

I don’t often post things from a serious perspective. But, I’ve got some things on my mind that I wanted to share… Just stick with me!

You may not know it from my thoughts and musings, but I am a monogamous, 30-something, single mom. I bet you never would’ve guessed that I would be posting blogs for a sex shop. But, I happen to know a LOT about sex because I’ve always had very adventurous partners. In fact, my friends always call me a “monogamous freak”. It fits. So, trust me when I post something. I know what I am talking about… usually… unless it’s like, bestiality or necrophilia or something… NOT MY THING!!!

I think I’ve made the point before that I am very selective about who I have sex with, due to being a monogamous, 30-something, single mom… (and well, there’s this post that explains some more things about me). I have to be careful – for my child’s sake. In my opinion, I have to stay healthy and whole in order to be a good parent. And therefore, I do not risk my physical or emotional well-being for sex’s sake. I’m not a prude. Don’t get me wrong – I have slipped up from time to time and  have had sex outside of a relationship. I just think it’s dangerous territory for me. So, I don’t do it. It’s never gone right. I end up disappointed because of the sex.

Why? Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… It does not equal love. It does not make up for the things you lack in life. It only feels good while you’re doing it. And it can be downright disappointing physically and/or emotionally, if it’s not done right!

Sex feels good. Oh yes, it does! When your lover circles your pussy with his cock, then plunges in after what seems like forever, it feels like heaven on Earth. It’s like, the best thing EVER! And sex is good for you, too. It relaxes you. It has a bunch of proven health benefits, like headache and blood pressure reduction. Hell, it even burns calories!! Shit… forget your diet and have sex 4 times a day! You’ll look and feel awesome. But, I know that in order to feel good about my own sexual decisions, I have to feel good about the person I am being intimate with… When I don’t feel good about it, I always end up regretting it.

I bet you’re wondering at this point, “why is she even posting this? What a buzz kill!!” Right? I am writing this because I want you to remember you are a bar of gold. You are a valuable commodity. You’re body is your temple, and you do not want to disrespect your temple. Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… STD’s can be forever. Dick-bag boyfriends, or crazy girlfriends, can cause permanent damage. Is that temporary feeling of ecstasy worth it? Sometimes, it might be worth it. Sometimes…

For all those other times, fuck yourself. Masturbate. Take care of your own business. Hell, I know there have been times where I WISH I had masturbated instead of hooking up, either because the sex was lame or the emotional impact was too draining. Listen to me!!! Liberate yourself by taking charge of your own sexual pleasure. Why?

  • Masturbation will put your needs first
  • Masturbation will never give you an STD
  • Masturbation will never cheat on you
  • Masturbation will always let you cum first
  • Masturbation will never lie to you
  • Masturbation will never hurt your feelings
  • Masturbation will never waste your time
  • Masturbation will never make promises it can’t keep

Need more reasons? Here’s scientific reasons to pass on the meaningless sex and stick with the self-pleasure:

  • Masturbation helps you sleep
  • Masturbation relieves cramps and stress
  • Masturbation has been shown to prevent prostate cancer and alleviate UTI’s
  • Masturbation boosts your immunity
  • Masturbation has been shown to improve your mood
  • Masturbation tones pelvic and anal muscles
  • Masturbation lowers Risk Of Type 2 Diabetes

So, skip the dick-bags and the crazy bitches from time to time. Instead, check out our selection of solo toys and make yourself happy!

For the boys – Click Here!  For the gals – Click Here!

 

For the Ladies: The Do’s and Don’t of Casual Sex

Casual sex can mean different things to different people… In general, men have an easier time of separating sex from emotional connections. So, they can have sex casually without ever forming any attachments. Sex to them is simply a pleasurable recreational activity. To put it bluntly – They can hit it and quit it.

On the flip side, most women confuse sex with love. Why? It could be because women release the powerful hormone oxytocin during orgasms. Scientists believe that oxytocin causes women to create a strong emotional ties to sexual partners. So for this reason alone, my post is directed more towards my female audience.

Ok ladies… here are the dos and don’ts of casual sex to keep you in line and to avoid being hurt:

1. Be honest with yourself before you have casual sex. Why are you doing it? What do you want from it? If you are aware of your feelings, you can avoid potential hurt by having casual sex for the wrong reasons.

2. Be straightforward. Let whomever you have sex with know that it is for sex’s sake only.

3. Be realistic. Don’t get emotionally attached. THIS.IS.JUST.SEX. It will not develop into a relationship. It’s just physical fun. Remind yourself of this constantly!

4. Be safe. Use condoms and run background checks. Don’t take him home… People lie. They lie about their health. They lie about being “good guys”. The last thing you want from a little fun is an STD, a stalker, or worse… like being stuffed in a trunk!!

5. Don’t expect to be wined and dined. This is not dating. It is not about getting to know one another. It’s JUST SEX!

If you think you can handle it, casual sex can be a fun source of sexual release. You can be as wild and adventurous as you like! You can be as sexy as you want! Just be safe and be real.

Sexy Ways to Survive Your Break-up!

I recently went through a break-up and it sucks! I’m not going to lie. I didn’t WANT to break up with my man. But, I also didn’t want to continue being with someone who couldn’t love me or take care of me the way I want and need to be loved and cared for. And even though I was the one who dumped him, it still hurts… and well, I’m sometimes lonely and bored without him because now I have more time to fill.

Maybe you’re in the same boat as me… just tired of bullshit and preferring to be alone. Or, maybe you were the one who was dumped. That REALLY sucks! Being dumped can really crush the spirit for a while. You’re going to be lonely and depressed until you realize it’s probably for the best that things happened the way they did.

But whether you were the dumper or dumpee, there are lots of sexy things to help you cope with a break-up…

1. Grab some condoms and have a one night stand… or three.

Now, I am not one to promote casual sex. It’s just not my thing. But, a SAFE, random romp with a stranger can temporarily make you feel sexy, wanted, and free. The sex can be as wild and uninhibited as you want it to be. And, a few one night stands will help ease the sexual tension you may feel as the result of losing your partner. Just remember to stop by our store and pick up some of the wide variety of condoms we sell. AND remember, it’s just s.e.x. It’s not a relationship and will likely never go anywhere. If you can do that, you can get the ego boost and sexual release that will help you over the break-up hump.

2. Masturbate… a lot.

The time after a break-up can be tough if you enjoyed the sex. So, invest in a high-quality sex toy or masturbator to ease the tension. Hey, a sex toy is a lot less complicated than a one night stand or friend with benefits… and a lot safer. Also, sex toys won’t make you feel miserable. They won’t hurt your feelings. They won’t bug you or blow up your phone. And, there are some AMAZING toys out there that almost make another person irrelevant. And pleasing yourself will help you resist the urge to run back to your ex just for the sake of sex!

For guys, I suggest a Tenga Fliphole. These toys won’t cause drama and are a lot cheaper than having a girlfriend!

For gals, I suggest any one of the OVO Rabbits. These toys are affordable, powerful, and durable… Probably more powerful and durable than your last boyfriend… and most likely much more dependable!

3. Update your underwear.

I know this might sound like a weird suggestion. But, hear me out… You wore that underwear to turn him or her on. So, chuck it! Burn it in the fireplace. Cut it up and mail it to him/her in a package. Whatever you do, get rid of it all. Then, come by one of our stores and pick up some sexy new underthings for guys or gals! Having sexy new underwear can really make you feel better. Just knowing you have on something underneath your jeans can make you exude an air of sexiness. And that will surely attract new people into your life… or at least give you back a little swagger in your walk.

4. Flirt… a lot.

It can take a while to let go of the feelings from a break-up, whether you were the dumper or dumpee. And, maybe you are not ready to rejoin the dating world because you don’t want new drama, or are afraid of getting hurt. But, you can and should flirt. Flirting boosts your ego, makes you smile, and is completely harmless. It will remind you that you are sexy and desirable. And even if you just aren’t ready for that next step, it will help you to see that there are a lot of fish in the sea.

5. Learn from it.

Learning from your mistakes is sexy. Why? Because knowing your needs and wants makes you a more confident person, and therefore a sexier person. Next time, you’ll know more about what you do and don’t want/need. You’ll look for someone who is interested in fulfilling your desires, as much as they are interested in having theirs fulfilled. You won’t settle for less. That knowledge confidence, and power is all extremely sexy!

What’s a girl to do?

I love sex. Have I mentioned that before? I think I have…

But have I ever told you that it’s hard working for a sex shop? You have to work around all this arousing stuff. You get toys for a deep discount and free items from vendors. You amass a black bag the size of a Samsonite, filled with dildos, vibrators, gags, bullets, lubes, butt plugs, restraints, cock rings and more. You have to research products and sex techniques and fetishes. Therefore, you learn more about sex all of the time. You fantasize all of the time. You stay horny all.of.the.time.

Oh sure… You’re thinking, “What’s so hard about that?!?!” Well, for one thing, it’s really hard to find someone adventurous enough to explore all those things you’ve got going on in your head. Yeah, men and women alike will talk a big game with me. But when it comes right down to it, they get scared. They’re intimidated by me and my toy arsenal. They’re worried they might not be able to keep up with me, or that they’ll disappoint me. I get that. I do. But, I want that smack-talking guy with the big dick to walk right in and pull my hair and take me… not one that punks out, loses their erection, or cums after 2 minutes. UGH!

Also, I get bored very easily. I crave exploration. I am surrounded by variety. I am sexually curious every day because I learn new things every day. So, when a lover begins to fall into a routine of plain vanilla sex, I get bored. BORED. I want to try that new position I’ve read about. I want to use my new toys. I want to role-play and act out those fantasies. Don’t give me vanilla every night – give me a new flavor, or at least throw on some freaking sprinkles! UGH!

And now you’re probably thinking, “Surely she must be ugly or mean? It can’t be that hard for a girl to get laid!” Well first off, I’m attractive and curvy. Secondly, I’m one of the nicest, most generous people you’ll ever meet. And to be honest, I’m actually very monogamous and won’t sleep around. I won’t have casual sex because it’s risky for my health… Uh, STD’s anyone? And really, it’s not good for your emotional well-being. But more importantly, it ends up being a colossal waste of time. The smack-talker who said they could match me tit for tat ends up being horrible in bed. HORRIBLE. UGH!

So, YES, it is that hard for me to get laid… and even harder for me to get laid the way I want to be. Why? See above. I’m picky and hard to please. I want thrills and adventure. I want someone who can keep up with me physically and mentally. And, I won’t have casual sex. All of that adds up to me not being willing to have sex with just anyone… and me not getting laid. UGH!

So, what’s a girl to do?