Advice

Old-Fashioned Sex Advice Revisited

Sixty years ago, a woman’s pleasure was a thing to be whispered about. Sex outside of marriage was shameful. Sex toys, or anything other than missionary, were for cheap girls and harlots. We’ve certainly come a long way when it comes to adventurous sex. Porn is mainstream. Adult stores are big business, no longer back alley establishments. And movies like “50 Shades of Grey” have inspired women everyone to try a little BDSM. But should we completely discard old-fashioned beliefs about sex? Let’s take a look…

Old-fashioned Tip #1 – Your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego. Morale is a woman’s business.

This isn’t bad advice. Appreciating and complimenting your man builds up his confidence. And confidence is good for the bedroom. The more you praise his manhood and his efforts, the more he’s going to want to please you.

Old-fashioned Tip #2 – If you are one of those frigid or sexually anesthetic women, don’t be in a hurry to inform your husband about it.  To the man it makes no difference in the pleasurableness of the act whether you are frigid or not, unless he knows that you are frigid.  And he won’t know unless you tell him, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Uhm, wrong. This one is definitely wrong with a capital “W”. A man knows if you are not enjoying yourself. And, if you are not enjoying himself, chances are it will ruin some part of the act for him. Can he still get off and orgasm even if you’re bored to tears? Yes, probably. But, can it also affect his performance and make it less pleasurable? Definitely. Only a major asshole doesn’t care if you are bored and miserable. So, throw this advice out the window and talk to your partner about what you do and don’t like. If he doesn’t want to listen and please you, ditch him!

Old-fashioned Tip #3 – Underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying, but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford.  And the color should be preferably pink.  And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man.

This one has some merit to it. Not all men like lingerie or fancy underwear. But if you want to feel sexy… and you want him to see you as sexy… make sure whatever you’re wearing is in good shape, flattering, and preferably in a color you or he loves. No one is sexy is undies with stains or holes in them. So, I am not talking about always wearing satin and lace. You can still be sexy in cute cotton bras and panties. And the color doesn’t have to be pink. According to my research, men prefer black or white.

Old-fashioned Tip #4 – While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured.

Say what? No. Just no. This is one old-fashioned sex tip I can’t believe exists! Sex should never be revolting or painful. If it is, you’re doing it wrong! Even when you want it to be painful, that should come from a place of pleasure, because you find that enjoyable.

Old-fashioned Tip #5The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

Problem #1 with this tip… Sex no longer has to be enjoyed under the confines of marriage. Problem #2… If you are married, lessening the frequency of sex is bound to take its toll on your relationship. In fact, married couples should work hard to stay committed, keep things fresh, and try to have sex as much as possible. Distancing yourself from each other sexually is a fast track to divorce. Don’t let kids, work, and life get in the way of being intimate with each other.

Old-fashioned Tip #6A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.

Oh, quite the contrary my friends! Being naked has many benefits to your health AND makes you want to have sex more often. How? It increases your circulation and improves your confidence – both of which have been proven to increase sex drive and sexual pleasure!

While we may learn from the past in most other circumstances, sex doesn’t seem to be one of them! Thank goodness we’ve come so far so that we can cum so far. I’ll take modern sex any day of the week!

XOXO, Bella

The Case for Masturbation Over Casual Sex…

I don’t often post things from a serious perspective. But, I’ve got some things on my mind that I wanted to share… Just stick with me!

You may not know it from my thoughts and musings, but I am a monogamous, 30-something, single mom. I bet you never would’ve guessed that I would be posting blogs for a sex shop. But, I happen to know a LOT about sex because I’ve always had very adventurous partners. In fact, my friends always call me a “monogamous freak”. It fits. So, trust me when I post something. I know what I am talking about… usually… unless it’s like, bestiality or necrophilia or something… NOT MY THING!!!

I think I’ve made the point before that I am very selective about who I have sex with, due to being a monogamous, 30-something, single mom… (and well, there’s this post that explains some more things about me). I have to be careful – for my child’s sake. In my opinion, I have to stay healthy and whole in order to be a good parent. And therefore, I do not risk my physical or emotional well-being for sex’s sake. I’m not a prude. Don’t get me wrong – I have slipped up from time to time and  have had sex outside of a relationship. I just think it’s dangerous territory for me. So, I don’t do it. It’s never gone right. I end up disappointed because of the sex.

Why? Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… It does not equal love. It does not make up for the things you lack in life. It only feels good while you’re doing it. And it can be downright disappointing physically and/or emotionally, if it’s not done right!

Sex feels good. Oh yes, it does! When your lover circles your pussy with his cock, then plunges in after what seems like forever, it feels like heaven on Earth. It’s like, the best thing EVER! And sex is good for you, too. It relaxes you. It has a bunch of proven health benefits, like headache and blood pressure reduction. Hell, it even burns calories!! Shit… forget your diet and have sex 4 times a day! You’ll look and feel awesome. But, I know that in order to feel good about my own sexual decisions, I have to feel good about the person I am being intimate with… When I don’t feel good about it, I always end up regretting it.

I bet you’re wondering at this point, “why is she even posting this? What a buzz kill!!” Right? I am writing this because I want you to remember you are a bar of gold. You are a valuable commodity. You’re body is your temple, and you do not want to disrespect your temple. Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… STD’s can be forever. Dick-bag boyfriends, or crazy girlfriends, can cause permanent damage. Is that temporary feeling of ecstasy worth it? Sometimes, it might be worth it. Sometimes…

For all those other times, fuck yourself. Masturbate. Take care of your own business. Hell, I know there have been times where I WISH I had masturbated instead of hooking up, either because the sex was lame or the emotional impact was too draining. Listen to me!!! Liberate yourself by taking charge of your own sexual pleasure. Why?

  • Masturbation will put your needs first
  • Masturbation will never give you an STD
  • Masturbation will never cheat on you
  • Masturbation will always let you cum first
  • Masturbation will never lie to you
  • Masturbation will never hurt your feelings
  • Masturbation will never waste your time
  • Masturbation will never make promises it can’t keep

Need more reasons? Here’s scientific reasons to pass on the meaningless sex and stick with the self-pleasure:

  • Masturbation helps you sleep
  • Masturbation relieves cramps and stress
  • Masturbation has been shown to prevent prostate cancer and alleviate UTI’s
  • Masturbation boosts your immunity
  • Masturbation has been shown to improve your mood
  • Masturbation tones pelvic and anal muscles
  • Masturbation lowers Risk Of Type 2 Diabetes

So, skip the dick-bags and the crazy bitches from time to time. Instead, check out our selection of solo toys and make yourself happy!

For the boys – Click Here!  For the gals – Click Here!

 

For the Ladies: The Do’s and Don’t of Casual Sex

Casual sex can mean different things to different people… In general, men have an easier time of separating sex from emotional connections. So, they can have sex casually without ever forming any attachments. Sex to them is simply a pleasurable recreational activity. To put it bluntly – They can hit it and quit it.

On the flip side, most women confuse sex with love. Why? It could be because women release the powerful hormone oxytocin during orgasms. Scientists believe that oxytocin causes women to create a strong emotional ties to sexual partners. So for this reason alone, my post is directed more towards my female audience.

Ok ladies… here are the dos and don’ts of casual sex to keep you in line and to avoid being hurt:

1. Be honest with yourself before you have casual sex. Why are you doing it? What do you want from it? If you are aware of your feelings, you can avoid potential hurt by having casual sex for the wrong reasons.

2. Be straightforward. Let whomever you have sex with know that it is for sex’s sake only.

3. Be realistic. Don’t get emotionally attached. THIS.IS.JUST.SEX. It will not develop into a relationship. It’s just physical fun. Remind yourself of this constantly!

4. Be safe. Use condoms and run background checks. Don’t take him home… People lie. They lie about their health. They lie about being “good guys”. The last thing you want from a little fun is an STD, a stalker, or worse… like being stuffed in a trunk!!

5. Don’t expect to be wined and dined. This is not dating. It is not about getting to know one another. It’s JUST SEX!

If you think you can handle it, casual sex can be a fun source of sexual release. You can be as wild and adventurous as you like! You can be as sexy as you want! Just be safe and be real.

We’re all freaks… By Danny Z

Do you know what’s a common thing I run into with my line of work? Almost immediately, when someone finds out that I work at a sex shop, they ask, “What is the freakiest thing you’ve sold or seen?”

It is a very interesting question. I’ll give you that! But, what may be “freaky” to me, may not be freaky to you…

Someone asked me the same exact question the other day, for the umpteenth time. But, it made me realize I no longer believe that there such thing as “freaky”. People do what they do – whether they are embarrassed about it or not. In fact, it is nothing to be ashamed of in the first place!

But it’s a sort of conundrum, if you think about it… We so open with our opinions and thoughts as a society. We criticize our government openly. We post incriminating photos on Facebook or Instagram. We post our family drama or bad mouth our workplaces on Facebook. But when it comes to sexual desires – we avoid being open and honest about them. It’s kind of disheartening that all of that stuff is not freaky, but quite normal… Yet, people are still afraid to talk about sex and will judge alternative preferences as freaky.

While I may have my own preferences, and you have yours, everyone has theirs own tastes in sex and should be allowed to – whatever their tastes may be! You like toys? Fine. Not into foreplay? Cool.  Like men, women, or both? Whatever. If you knew the amount of people who come into our, but can’t look me in the face, you would be amazed! BUT THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED! I don’t know why anyone is embarrassed about it. People have masturbated for YEARS. They are not the first person, certainly not the last. It also doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. It just says that you want to “spice things up”. And, well… everyone likes to have fun. I think we can agree on that.

There is no need for bashfulness when looking for an item – from a simple vibrator to something more extreme. In our store, we sell almost the exact same amount of both mild and wild! There is a demand for both, even if one might be more mainstream than the other. And, here is where it gets silly… Multiple times a day, I get whispered questions or concerns about something – anal, restraints, vibes, etc. It’s because people are scared for others to hear them… But what they don’t realize is that someone was in the store, right before they were, inquiring about the exact same products just moments before! How funny is that?

We’re not shy about our lives, except when it comes to sex… And it doesn’t have to be that way!

Here is just a list of a few things I think folks shouldn’t be so embarrassed about. Take a look! You may find that what you are afraid to try or ask about is actually quite common…

  • Anal sex… This is probably the most asked about topic in the store. Everyone is doing it, or wants to try it.
  • Prostate stimulation… A lot of men really enjoy prostate play. But, there is a stigma that it means you’re gay if you like it. FACT : You’re not a gay, unless you date/sleep with others of the same sex. FACT: The prostate is an a very sensitive erogenous area and can create intense orgasms when stimulated.
  • Porn… Porn is everywhere. Almost everyone has or is watching it. There’s nothing wrong with that.
  • Toys… Lots of people use toys. And, toys are additive to sex, not substitutions for it. Think of it like this… Ice cream is good on its own. But, it is better with sprinkles! So, adding toys to the mix doesn’t make you a freak.
  • Enhancements… Be it pills, creams, delay gels, or extensions, it’s ok if you need to supplement your sex life! We can’t all be porn stars. We’re busy, tired humans, and sometimes we need a little help.

So, be yourself and do what makes you happy! Normal is relative, and you’re normal… Trust me. I think Dr. Seuss said it best – “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

The Case for Lingerie

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Let’s face it… If you are a woman, you more than likely have an oversized t-shirt you sleep in. It’s more than likely has a hole or two in it. Maybe it’s even got a stain… or two. Or, you have your comfortable PJ’s – tried and true, soft from the years of wear and repeated laundering. Perhaps you’re sassier than that. You sleep in the nude, or just panties.

There’s nothing wrong with any of the above sleep apparel habits. Nothing at all. But, if your love life is suffering, or you want to spice things up, all of the above are missing one thing – LINGERIE.

I know what you’re thinking…
… “Men don’t care about lingerie. They look at it for a few seconds, then ask you to take it off so they can get down to business.”
… “I can’t find anything that makes me look sexy.”
… “I can’t stand all those strings and hooks and itchy lace.”
… “I sleep naked. I don’t need lingerie.”

Stop. Stop right there. You’re wrong, about all of the above. And here’s why…

Lingerie isn’t just for men. It’s for you, too! The right lingerie can make you feel sexy and pretty and all around more confident about yourself. And all those things combined can and will improve your sex life. So, leave it on during the whole act if it helps you feel your sexiest.

And, you CAN find something that makes you look sexy. Lingerie doesn’t have to be skimpy or stringy. There is abundance of gorgeous lingerie in all kinds of styles and fit, for all shapes and sizes. Pick out something that covers your trouble spots and you WILL feel sexy! Small bust? Pick a style with molded cups to give you some extra oomph! Short legs? Pick a short chemise to make your legs look longer. Carrying extra weight or have a mom belly? Wear a A-line style that is fitted at the top and flares out to mask your belly. Self-conscious about your whole body? Wear an extra long satin negligee with a large slit up the side, for a glamorous, old-Hollywood look.

And lingerie doesn’t have to uncomfortable. There are plenty of fabric options when it comes to lingerie – satin, soft stretchy mesh, cotton/poly jersey blends, and more. Don’t fool yourself into believing that more lace, ribbons, and hooks = sexier. Even a cute cotton-blend bra and panty set can be super sexy! Don’t like G-strings? Find a sexy black panty to wear with any of the lingerie styles that may come with a thong. The substitution will look just as hot, and you won’t feel like your picking floss out our your crack. Or skip the panties all together!

And, even if you sleep naked, lingerie can benefit your sexy life. There’s something sexy about mystery, and lingerie provides mystery… even if just a little. Lingerie makes discovering your body like unwrapping a special present. Make taking lingerie off by giving your partner the slow tease with a private strip-show. Plus, leaving lingerie on during sex can be extremely erotic. Think of how it feels to have your panties slowly removed by your partner, or simply pushed aside so he can please you… It’s feels HOT! I’m telling ya!

I’m not saying to throw out your oversized tees and extra-loved PJ’s. I’m just saying that every now and then, you should put on that hot pink teddy or black mesh bodysuit. It can give your everyday sex life a little extra ooh-la-la! Need something new and sexy? Check out our online lingerie selection – http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/boudoir-sexy. Like what you see? Visit any one of our 3 Charlotte locations for an even BIGGER selection of Missy and Plus size lingerie, hosiery, and corsets.

BDSM 101: Kinky Basics for Everyone

bdsm-tflMaybe you already know what BDSM is, and going a little further intrigues you. Perhaps you’ve dabbled with spanking your partner. Or, maybe you’ve tied each other up with scarves. But now, you want to try more BDSM fun in the bedroom.

Or, maybe you’ve never heard of BDSM. Perhaps, you’re intimidated by the idea. Or, maybe you just don’t know how to get started, but would be interested in trying something like this in the bedroom.

Well, this is your primer for BDSM. I’m going to give you some basic ideas to get your kinky juices flowing!

First of all, let’s define BDSM:

B = bondage – using restraints as part of an intimate relationship

D = domination – a dominant partner controlling and/or punishing a submissive partner

S & M = sadism and masochism – giving (s) and receiving (m) pleasure from pain

Getting started… When getting started with any BDSM activity, talk to your partner FIRST! Discuss what you would like to try and come up with a game plan. It’s important to set up boundaries before you ever venture down this road. Why? It’s because many BDSM activities require a high level of trust between partners. So, talk, talk, talk about what you will and won’t do! Then, decide on a safe word, or code word, to use with your partner when you want things to stop. Remember, it’s ok to stop and regroup. You should never feel like you can’t trust your partner!

Now, let’s break everything down. I’m going to give you some basic ideas according to where they fall in the BDSM spectrum. Some of them might not be your thing, and that’s ok! The idea is to spice things up within YOUR comfort zone.

Bondage – There are so many easy ways to incorporate bondage into your sex life!

  • Grab a leash and walk your partner around the bedroom
  • Use furry handcuffs or silk rope to restrict your partner’s use of their hands, or to lock them to a bedpost or chair
  • Try a ball gag to muffle your partner’s pleas for mercy or cries of ecstasy
  • Use a spreader bar to restrict the use of your partner’s legs
  • Go all the way and use hog ties or wrist and leg cuffs to completely restrict your partner’s movements

Domination – This is all about one person being in charge, with the other relinquishing control.

  • Pretend your partner is your love slave and have them work to earn their freedom by doing anything you say
  • Control your partner by repeatedly stimulating them, but not allowing them to have an orgasm
  • Role play having one of you be the servant (think French maid, pool boy, love robot, etc.)
  • Try a remote controlled panty vibe where you or your partner is in charge of the amount of stimulation received
  • Use a blindfold and do not allow your partner to see what you’re about to do next

S&M – This is all about giving and/or receiving pain. But, it doesn’t mean you have to hurt each other. Start on the softer side with any of these suggestions and work your way up to more intensity!

  • Try using nipple clamps for an exciting pinch
  • Pick up a paddle, riding crop, or leather flogger, then lightly smack each other on sensitive areas
  • Drip hot wax onto each other’s backsides
  • Try an electro-stimulation kit on sensitive areas with the dial set to low
  • Use your teeth to gently bite sensitive areas

Want to try some of the ideas above? Check out our BDSM selection online. You’ll find many items to help you get started.

Want to try some harder stuff? Do your research! Talk to your partner about your desires AND boundaries. And, the visit one of our 3 Charlotte are stores. We have a much larger, and kinkier, selection of BDSM items in-store.

 

Oral Sex 101: Tips for Great Oral!

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Oral sex… *Sigh*

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had a man boast that he is awesome at going down. He raves about the compliments he’s received in the past. But, when he starts pleasuring you, it either feels like a beaver gnawing on your privates or like a Dyson has locked on to your clit! Or for you guys, there’s the girl who boasts of her skills in sucking dick. But when she’s down there, she barely moves her lips and throat around your shaft, and mostly uses her hands. Or, she really sucks… like s Dyson has locked on to your dick!

I know that everyone likes something different when it comes to getting off. Maybe you like the above oral sex techniques. I’m not judging… But, listen up all you Dyson-mouthed folks! When done with some skill and attention, oral sex can be a much more amazing experience than the ones I’ve had above! So, here are my tips on how to give great oral sex…

These tips are for everyone:

1. Start fresh! A shower can go a long way in making oral much more pleasant for the giver! And if you’re receiving the oral, being clean will make you more comfortable and at ease.

2. Communicate! Tell your partner up front what you like and don’t like. During the oral, give encouragement or softly spoken suggestions. Moaning and groaning works, too!

3. Reciprocate! Reciprocate! Reciprocate! If you don’t like to give, it really discourages your partner from wanting to give. So, do unto to others as you would have done to you!

 

If you’re going down on her:

1. Slow down! It’s not a race! Warp speed tongue action does nothing but frustrate the average women. And most likely, a steady build will create a much more intense orgasm for her.

2. Don’t munch the rug! Teeth are ok… but that means a little nibble here or there. Repetitive gnawing is not really a pleasurable feeling for most women.

3. Yes, sucking on my clit is a pleasurable feeling… when done lightly! Don’t go all Dyson on me!

4. Don’t like to go down because of the “taste”? Well that’s not fair. Consider using a flavored lube and get to licking! Not only will it taste good to you, it actually enhances the feeling for me.

5. Apply a little pressure. Light licks will tease me. Mixing in firmer licks will get me there.

 

If you’re going down on him:

1. Take him deeply into your mouth and stroke up and down, allowing him to feel the back of your throat. I know this seems basic. But, many of us who give blow-jobs end up focusing solely on the head of the penis. That can be too intense or frustrating for a man. Think of your mouth as a vagina. How would a man use his penis in vagina? Would he just poke the tip in repeatedly? NO! He goes all in and then almost all out. Do the same with your mouth!

2. Don’t be a Dyson. Lightly sucking, yes. Creating an oral vortex, no. Sucking dick doesn’t mean literally turning your mouth into a vacuum.

3. Try a little flavored lube. If you’re like me, sometimes your mouth gets dry. A dry mouth is no fun for anyone. Using lube will keep the moisture up and the friction down.

4. Some guys like a little teeth. Gently graze the back side of his shaft with your teeth. But, don’t go all cheese grater on him!

5. Use your tongue. Running the tongue along the back of his shaft and the head of his penis adds that extra wow factor. Also, using your tongue to gently apply pressure as you move up and down can create a tighter feel for him.

 

Read these tips! Study them! Master them! Don’t be that person who boasts of your skills, but disappoints in the bedroom. Don’t be the beaver gnawing away or the Dyson set to VORTEX. Just don’t. 🙂

 

Sexual Fantasies and XXX Daydreaming

So, I am 100% pro-fantasy. In fact, if you could read my mind, you’d see I fantasize a LOT! Sometimes, it’s like there’s a XXX movie playing in my head. I’m a creative person. Maybe that’s why I’m constantly coming up with scenarios for my sex life. It frustrates Mr. Big, my partner. I’ve heard him say on more than one occasion, “It’s like the Rolling Stones, honey… we can’t play all our greatest hits in one night!!!” Bless his heart. I think I exhaust him…

I know not all of my fantasies can or will come true. But, it never hurts to dream… right?

Like for instance, I was in training the other day and this cute, butch woman was leading the training. What did I do? I spent part of the class fantasizing about pussy grinding… PUSSY GRINDING. What did I take away from the class? That I want to pussy grind as soon as possible. I want to find a hot woman, get naked, and rub against her. Yep.

Or, the other night, Mr. Big was talking about watching the series OZ, a prison drama that HBO produced a decade ago. What did I do? I started fantasizing about some big, buff prison thug making my lover his bitch. In this fantasy, I am the prison warden, watching it all play out, waiting for my turn with the billy club…. Mr. Big was not entirely thrilled with my fantasy, but he was amused.

What’s wrong with these little mini-pornos running through my mind from time to time? Well, other than not having enough time, energy or partner, there’s nothing wrong with a little fantasizing!

Everyone has sexual fantasies, from the mundane to the down right freak-a-licious! Think about it… Most of you have had fantasies about having sex in a public place like a bathroom or the hood of a car. Lots of you have had fantasies of threesomes or watching your partner have sex with someone else. A lot of women fantasize about girl-on-girl. We’re human. We daydream. And, fantasies are healthy. They can increase your arousal during sex. Plus, fantasies allow you to do things you would not do in real life, and the outcome is always positive. It’s a win-win!

So, you don’t want to keep daydreaming like me? Then you may be asking yourself, “how do I make my fantasies come true?” I can’t tell you a step-by-step for every fantasy you may have. There’s honestly not enough blog space for just MY fantasies. And, keep in mind that I am not a licensed couple’s counselor, nor a sex therapist. But, I can help you open up the dialogue with your partner. Here’s my advice:

Test the waters – Start by showing your partner a porn with a scenario you’d like to act out. Then, ask them what they think of that scenario. Your partner should be pretty honest with you about it under those circumstances, and you’ll be able to gauge whether revealing more is a possibility. You could also present your fantasy as a wild dream you had and see how your partner reacts. Or, ask them to visit a sex shop with you and see what they gravitate towards.

Ease it into conversation SLOWLY – I think it’s best to start small. In my opinion, you should never go for a full reveal if you don’t think your partner is that adventurous. In other words, if you want to reveal your ideas, don’t do it all at once. You may intimidate, scare, or alienate your partner by rushing things. If you think your partner is open to a threesome, ask them what would turn them on about the fantasy. Getting them to open up to you will make it easier for you to discuss your ideas.

The theme here is communication! You honestly will never know unless you ask. Once you begin having these conversation with your partner, you open the door to a greater level of sexual creativity between the two of you!

Tips for creating a porn-worthy sex life!

Let’s face it… most of us don’t have porn-quality bodies or sex lives. We need to lose weight and don’t get enough sleep. We’ve got kids or family obligations to take care of. We get sick or just don’t feel our best. We’re busy people with busy lives. We don’t always have time in the day for sex, much less high quality sex. Sometimes, it’s a quickie or nothing at all! Plus, we get bored or stuck in a rut in the bedroom. And honestly, sometimes sex becomes a chore…

But, it doesn’t have to be that way! In fact, it doesn’t take much to make your sex life more exciting. A little extra effort can pay off in big ways. Want to have more porn-worthy sex? You can spice it up a little at a time with these tips:

1. Make intimacy a high priority!
Porn stars have sex at the drop of a hat. And while you might not be able to, seize any opportunity you may have. Make time for sex and don’t let it become a chore. Can’t regularly get it on for any number of reasons? Then at least schedule some intimate time with your partner during the week, even if just to cuddle and make-out. The closer you are physically, the more likely you are to be interested in sex.

2. Show enthusiasm!
Porn stars are noisy. Why? It’s a turn-on for both of you AND ego-boost for the one doing the pleasing. Plus, by letting your partner know you are pleased, you will make them want to please you even more. Moan and move! Get into it! Don’t just lay there quietly like a corpse… Let them know you are enjoying yourself!

3. Speak up!
Porn stars are bossy. Maybe you noticed that they order their lovers around. Touch me here. Do me there. Spank me. Lick me. Harder. Faster. Softer… Do the same in your own sex life! Tell your partner EXACTLY what you want, and how you want them to do it! This is especially important if you don’t like something they’re doing. If you don’t speak up, they’re going to keep making the same mistake… and that’s no fun at all!

4. Set the scene!
Porn stars don’t just have sex in the bedroom. They have sex everywhere – by the pool, in offices, during slumber parties for crying out loud! Create your own fantasy scene at home by having sex somewhere else in the house, like the kitchen or your home office. Need to keep things confined to the bedroom? Then, buy those satin sheets! Dim those lights! Light those candles! Line up those toys! Make your bedroom your fantasy love-making spot.

5. Role play!
Porn stars rarely play themselves. They’re always acting out a scenario – coed and professor, plumber and housewife, masseuse and customer. Think about it… Isn’t it always some situation where complete strangers suddenly get it on? So get into character! Pretend you are the special delivery boy or that she is the naughty nurse! Pretending to be someone else can lower your inhibitions and make sex more exciting. Plus, it’s like getting to have sex with someone new!

6. Use enhancements!
Male porn stars can go all night and repeatedly get it up. Female porn stars orgasm just after a few pokes. We, the average masses, are not like this at all! So what can you do to make things more porn-like? No need to fake it or feel like you don’t measure up… Guys, you can try enhancement supplements or creams. These enhancements can create more hardness and girth, help delay ejaculations, and can even help you get it up repeatedly! We even carry sleeves to help you with length. And, we carry plenty of toys to help fulfill her double penetration fantasies… Girls, don’t be ashamed to use a toy to help you orgasm. We also carry enhancement supplements and creams for you. They’ll help make your lady parts more sensitive to touch and stimulation, making it easier for you to orgasm.

Whether you try one or all of our suggestions, sex should be something you enjoy. Don’t see something you like in our tips above? Try one of your own ideas! Keeping your sex life fresh and exciting with your partner is the main priority. Got a suggestion for us? Send us an email and maybe we’ll feature it on our blog!

A nurse, a cop, and a maid walk into a bar…

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Let me set the scene… My lover and I are having lunch. I am getting very animated and excited about an idea I have for the bedroom. It’s a scenario I’d like to play out. He listens intently. Then, my lover begins laughing heartily and says, “Let me imitate you… ‘I want to role play tonight, and these are top 5 ideas!’ You’re going to give me multiple personality disorder at this rate, honey!”

Now, let me explain… One of my favorite things to do to spice up the mood during sex is role playing. I love it, absolutely love it. Why? It adds excitement, mystery, and fun. With role play, your inhibitions can disappear. You’re not you anymore. You don’t have to be confined to yourself. THAT makes sex friskier and more fun! It’s also empowering because it puts YOU in control of your sexuality and your sexual experience. Not to mention, it keeps things from becoming stale between you and your partner. Plus, role playing sex allows you to enact your fantasies, without straying. And, it increases the anticipation for sex by creating the scene for a slow build-up.

Another fun part of role playing? You get to dress up! If you raided my closet, you’d find a huge assortment of wigs, in all sorts of colors and styles. I also have tons of costumes – school girl, hot pink scrubs for the doctor, border patrol guard, cop, French maid, Elvis, bar maid, waitress, Minnie Mouse, pin-ups of all kinds, the dominatrix, nurse, sailor, firefighter… even pants, a shirt, and tie for a little cross-dressing! And of course, it doesn’t help that I work for a sex shop. We have the cutest, sexiest assortments of costumes – from bedroom only outfits, to those suitable for a Halloween party. So, I’m like a kid in candy store!

Want to give role playing a try? Here are some great ideas to get you started:

BAD COP – make your lover a sexy prisoner for the night!
OBEDIENT ROBOT – program your robot to do exactly as you say!
HOT HANDYMAN – you’ve got the tools to get the job done right!
THE STRANGER – meet at a bar & be each other’s one night stand!
THE COED & PROFESSOR – what will you do to make an “A”?
THE CASTING CALL – audition your lover for a homemade movie!
THE NAUGHTY NURSE – give your patient a sexy sponge bath!
THE STRIPPER – get out the “fuck me” heels and thong, and then give your regular a lap dance!
THE MASSEUSE – grab the warm oil and get touchy-feely!
THE FRENCH MAID – feather dust your partner and play at housekeeping!
THE PHOTOGRAPHER & MODEL – grab a camera and snap some racy photos!
THE CAR SALESMAN – show them what’s under the hood, then hit the backseat for a test drive!
THE ROCK STAR – be a groupie and have fun backstage!

Need a costume? Check out our fantasy lingerie by DreamGirl, Leg Avenue, 7 Til Midnight & more!