Anal 101: A Beginner’s Guide

I’ll be honest… I like anal sex. I’ve had some of my strongest orgasms during anal sex. I also find there is a certain amount of trust and surrender I experience during anal sex, which is a wild turn-on for me. And, Mr. Big (my lover) likes anal sex, too. It’s pretty hot sex, not to mention a REALLY tight spot for him to put his penis. And what man doesn’t like tight?? But, HE also likes anal stimulation. Press his prostate and he’s putty in my hands.

But for most people, anal sex is such a taboo subject… something that is only done in porn or by gay men. Let’s face it… Most women fear it or find it to be too “dirty”. Most straight men have a fascination with it, but would never dream of stimulating that area on their own bodies. But, the truth be told, it can be very pleasurable for both men and women. It’s because the area is actually one of the most sensitive erogenous zones on your body! Here’s why…

FOR MEN:
*The prostate, located just at the front of the rectum, is essentially the male G-spot.
*This chestnut-sized gland is situated about two inches inside and can be found by slowly inserting a finger and pressing towards the penis.
*Stimulating it or applying pressure with a finger, tongue, or anal plug can provide INTENSE orgasms for men.

FOR WOMEN:
*The rectum is home to tons of nerve endings. Because of this, anal stimulation or sex can produce INTENSE orgasms for women, too!
*This is because anal intercourse, or using a plug, will put firm pressure to the g-spot.
*Also, using an anal plug tightens the vaginal wall, which will create more pleasure for you both!

Want to give it a try? Here are some tips for how to open the backdoor… (wink, wink)

Communicate – Communication is key before and during anal sex or stimulation. Talk to your partner about what you’d like to try, or what fears you may have. During your experimentation, let your partner know how things are going by telling them what you’d like more or less of, and if anything hurts.

Plan – Set aside some quality time to shop for toys and lubrication. Then, make sure you have plenty of time to experiment. Being relaxed is key!! So, make time to massage each other, cuddle, or make out. During your experimentation, GO SLOW. Rushing this is not going to work. Be patient with yourself and with your partner. Remember, this type of penetration requires more trust than traditional sex does. Plowing along full speed ahead can ruin the whole experience and cause your partner pain.

Prepare – Get to know your body and when you’re most “empty”. That can go a long way in keeping things clean. Your rectum is usually empty unless you really need to go. But, if you want to be 100% sure, a mild enema will make certain things are clean.

Lubricate – Your anus does not produce any natural lubrication. So, using a water-based, high quality lube will make things a lot easier. It will reduce friction and make any kind of anal penetration more comfortable. I suggest using System Jo’s H20 anal formula. If you are just really nervous about the pain, try using a desensitizing lubricant such as Liquid Sex’s anal formula. The numbing agent will take the edge off. But, it’s especially important to go slow and gentle with a numbing lube, as you won’t be able to feel if something is not working right.

Start Small – Not ready to jump straight into anal sex? Start with a small plug or vibrating toy, and then work your way up. Even a small toy can make a big impact in heightening your climax. Need ideas? Check out our anal toys online or visit us in-store for more selection!

At the end of the day, if anal stimulation and/or sex are not your thing, no big deal. It’s not for everyone. Sex should be about mutual pleasure. So, there is never any reason to do something you don’t like when your in the bedroom. But if you are the least bit intrigued, it’s worth giving it a try. Who knows? You make like it, and it could open up an entirely new dimension in your sex life. And as always, we at the RedDoor are happy to help you take it to the next level… 😉

A nurse, a cop, and a maid walk into a bar…

Let me set the scene… My lover and I are having lunch. I am getting very animated and excited about an idea I have for the bedroom. It’s a scenario I’d like to play out. He listens intently. Then, my lover begins laughing heartily and says, “Let me imitate you… ‘I want to role play tonight, and these are top 5 ideas!’ You’re going to give me multiple personality disorder at this rate, honey!”

Now, let me explain… One of my favorite things to do to spice up the mood during sex is role playing. I love it, absolutely love it. Why? It adds excitement, mystery, and fun. With role play, your inhibitions can disappear. You’re not you anymore. You don’t have to be confined to yourself. THAT makes sex friskier and more fun! It’s also empowering because it puts YOU in control of your sexuality and your sexual experience. Not to mention, it keeps things from becoming stale between you and your partner. Plus, role playing sex allows you to enact your fantasies, without straying. And, it increases the anticipation for sex by creating the scene for a slow build-up.

Another fun part of role playing? You get to dress up! If you raided my closet, you’d find a huge assortment of wigs, in all sorts of colors and styles. I also have tons of costumes – school girl, hot pink scrubs for the doctor, border patrol guard, cop, French maid, Elvis, bar maid, waitress, Minnie Mouse, pin-ups of all kinds, the dominatrix, nurse, sailor, firefighter… even pants, a shirt, and tie for a little cross-dressing! And of course, it doesn’t help that I work for a sex shop. We have the cutest, sexiest assortments of costumes – from bedroom only outfits, to those suitable for a Halloween party. So, I’m like a kid in candy store!

Want to give role playing a try? Here are some great ideas to get you started:

BAD COP – make your lover a sexy prisoner for the night!
OBEDIENT ROBOT – program your robot to do exactly as you say!
HOT HANDYMAN – you’ve got the tools to get the job done right!
THE STRANGER – meet at a bar & be each other’s one night stand!
THE COED & PROFESSOR – what will you do to make an “A”?
THE CASTING CALL – audition your lover for a homemade movie!
THE NAUGHTY NURSE – give your patient a sexy sponge bath!
THE STRIPPER – get out the “fuck me” heels and thong, and then give your regular a lap dance!
THE MASSEUSE – grab the warm oil and get touchy-feely!
THE FRENCH MAID – feather dust your partner and play at housekeeping!
THE PHOTOGRAPHER & MODEL – grab a camera and snap some racy photos!
THE CAR SALESMAN – show them what’s under the hood, then hit the backseat for a test drive!
THE ROCK STAR – be a groupie and have fun backstage!

Need a costume? Check out our fantasy lingerie by DreamGirl, Leg Avenue, 7 Til Midnight & more!

Me vs. the We-Vibe 3…

When I first saw the We-Vibe, I’ll admit… I was skeptical. I had friends who SWORE by it, said it changed their sex lives, that it was a miracle for couples. It’s a strange looking toy, not like your average phallic, rabbit-laden styles. It kind of resembles a boomerang. I’ve used a lot of sex toys in my life. I mean, I work for a sex shop. But, this toy confounded me. I held out and wouldn’t believe the hype… until We-Vibe gave me their latest model, the We-Vibe 3. And who can turn down a free sex toy? So, I charged up my We-Vibe 3 and accepted the challenge.

Later that day, my partner stared at me with a confused look on his face. “What is it again? And, you said we do what with it?” You see, the We-Vibe 3 is a couple’s toy. You insert one end in the vagina and the other end sits on your clitoris. The whole thing vibrates. Your partner slides in under the end that’s in your vagina. It results in a tighter fit and vibrating stimulation for both your vagina and clitoris, and also his penis. And, the vaginal end pushes up against your g-spot – a triple whammy for the clit, g-spot, and residing penis. Yay! Now, maybe you are starting to see where my skepticism came from… How does it fit in there? How does that create life-altering sex? Wouldn’t your average bullet do something similar?

Despite our reservations (and maybe a smidge of confusion), my partner and I experimented with the We-Vibe 3. I’ll admit, it was awkward at first. But, once things got going, it heightened everything. My g-spot was being pressed on like it was a magic button of love. My clitoris was so excited it didn’t even know what the hell to do. And, the vibrating against my partner’s penis… well he wasn’t complaining!! So, yeah, yeah, we were convinced.

But, we got to thinking… and you know how dirty minds are once they get to thinking. The We-Vibe 3 happens to have some nifty features. It’s completely submersible under water. It comes with a wireless remote control. And, it’s made of body-safe silicone that grips to your skin. When you take into consideration those three features, it opens up a world of possibilities. Boy did we think up some possibilities! Here’s the top ways we use our We-Vibe 3:

• Wrap it around his balls while giving him head – my partner loves extra attention to the boys. The gripping silicone gently clings to the balls, providing a light squeeze AND vibration. He loves this!
• Use it as a wireless panty vibe – He keeps the remote; I wear the We-Vibe 3 in my panties. With the click of a button, he can tease me anywhere, anytime. We’ve utilized it on many dinner dates… check please!
• Use it as anal toy – if you like a little backdoor stimulation, the We-Vibe 3 is an awesome choice. One end slips in your bottom, while the other end vibrates against your perineum. He’ll love that he can feel the vibration through your vaginal wall.
• Try it on his prostate – My partner likes anal stimulation, as well. The shape of the We-Vibe 3’s head puts the pressure on his prostate, making him act like a crazy man. So, he’ll use it while I am giving him head or during sex.
• Use it for double penetration – This is my favorite way to use the We-Vibe 3. I slip the bigger end inside my vagina and have the other end resting on my clit. Then, my partner and I lube up for anal penetration. The gripping silicone holds the toy in place really well.
• Use it as a solo toy – The We-Vibe 3 is powerful enough to use for masturbation. Why buy a rabbit when the We-Vibe 3 can do double duty as a couple’s toy AND a solo toy?!
• Update on 7/19/13 – This just in… We came up with yet another use! I used the bigger head inside, with the smaller head placed on my perineum. Then, my partner went down on me. It was amazing! Unlike traditional toys, the shape of the WeVibe makes it so the toy is not in the way during oral sex!

So, in the end, I am a believer. It has changed my sex-life! We keep it charged up and ready to go in case we’re ready to go! The We-Vibe 3 wins every time…