Uncategorized

Tricks and Treats: Sex Toys for Halloween!

Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday. What’s not to like? Playing dress-up, candy, bonfires, spooky stories, and fun to be had at any age… The only thing that would make it better would be goblins leaving you presents under your pumpkin. And, Halloween is the perfect time to add some new tricks and treats to you sex life. Check out our spook-tacular toys that are perfect for creating howls and screams.

1. Candy, candy, candy – Halloween is all about tons of candy! Why not sweeten things up? We’ve got edible body paints, candy undies, chocolate body dust and more. Dive in here.

EvoMagento-GA.SF42

2. Masks – Forget the sheet with two holes cut-out for your eyes… Grab a devilish looking hood or mask for some scary good times.

pd.3635-23

3. Costumes – Halloween is the best time of year to play dress-up and become someone else for the night. Our role-playing costumes are the perfect treats for your BOO.

ab.1290

4. Mad Science – Play the evil doctor and create some thrilling shocks with our electro-stim toys. Your lover will shriek with delight.

pd.3724-03

5. Spine-tingling chills – Want to send shivers down their back? Pop one of our glass toys into ice water.

pd.2924-00

6. Spiderwebs – Play the black widow. There will be no escape from pleasure when you catch your prey and get tangled up in our bondage restraints.

nw.2281

7. Magical potions – Don’t be a basic witch. Brew up some screams with our sexy lotions and potions.

EvoMagento-JO.40361

Creep it real this Halloween. If you’ve got it, haunt it. And don’t be afraid to scare up some of these sexy Halloween tricks and treats!

Low Sex Drive?

If you’d met me two years ago, you would have never believed I would end up suffering from a low sex drive. I loved sex. I was adventurous – liked anal, bondage, S&M, women and men, and more. My then boyfriend and I had sex twice a day, and I enjoyed it every time. But things change… I broke up with said boyfriend after 5 years of an on again, off again relationship. Bummer. Then, I met someone I felt good about. Four months later, they dumped me via text. Bummer. And finally, I met someone who changed my life for the better. Good news, right? Yes, but it also coincided with me turning 40 and my sex drive plummeting. Major bummer. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with my partner. I do. I really do. It’s that my age, body, and more have ganged up against me to crush my once amazing sex drive.

Turns out I’m normal and that low libido is a common issue in men and women my age or older. So what causes low sex drive? It can vary from person to person, but here are the most common reasons…

For both women and men, there are many physical issues that can cause low libido. These include prescription medicines, high blood pressure, thyroid problems, too little sleep, too little or too much exercise, and alcohol and drug use. There are also many psychological issues, including depression, stress, changes in relationship status, and relationship problems. For women, pregnancy, menopause or illness can decrease sex drive. For men, low testosterone can affect the sex drive.

So what can you do about a low sex drive?

1. See a doctor – The first thing you should do is schedule an appointment with your doctor. Ruling out any health issues is absolutely the first step! There are so many underlying physical reasons for a low libido. It’s best to check with your doctor to make sure everything is running smoothly and that you are in good health.

2. Talk to your partner – Opening up to your partner about your low sex drive is important for maintaining healthy sexual communication. Let them know you are feeling this way. If it’s not because of relationship issues, it’s important to let them know. This can decrease insecurities and create understanding. If it IS because of relationship issues, this is the first step in talking things out. How can someone help you if they don’t know what the problem is?

3. Keep a journal – If your low libido is definitely NOT health related, then what is it? Start keeping a sex journal. When you are not in the mood, jot it down. When you are in the mood, jot it down. Notice a pattern? Maybe lack of sleep, stressful days at work, or not enough alone time without the kids are causing the decrease in desire. Maybe the weeks you exercise more, the less sex you want. Getting to know yourself and your habits can help you create a plan to maximizing your sex drive.

4. Try something different – If things just aren’t working, it’s time to try something different. Relationship problems? Maybe it’s time to break-up or seek counseling. Not enough time? Maybe it’s time to schedule a mini getaway. Stressed? Maybe it’s time to cut back on work or extra activities. Bored? Maybe it’s time to try some new toys or sex positions. Whatever it is that isn’t working, get rid of it, even if just for a little while.

5. Get healthier – Taking care of your mental and physical well-being are keys to a healthy sex life, with or without low libido. So take care of yourself! Low-stress exercise such as yoga has been known to help with libido. Supplements such as DHEA and the Mediterranean diet have also been known to help with libido. Even drinking enough water and getting enough sleep have been shown to help with libido.

6. Make time for intimacy – Even if you are not in the mood for sex, make time for intimacy. Carve out time with your partner every day for closeness – snuggling on the couch, showering together, spooning in bed, enjoying a cup of coffee or wine without distractions. Sex is important in a relationship, but it isn’t everything. Intimacy is what keeps you together. And with increased intimacy, there’s usually an increase in sex drive.

It’s important to remember you are not alone. As many as 66% of women over 45, and 40% of men over 45, report suffering from a low sex drive. Definitely seek out the help of your doctor, no matter how embarrassing the conversation may be. And remember that where there is a will, there is a way. Don’t give up on your sex life!

Sex Ed: Kegels and Ben Wa Balls

What are the kegel muscles?

The term “Kegel muscle” is used to refer to the muscles of the pelvic floor, the pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles). The PC muscles hold your pelvic organs in place, control the flow of urine, and also contributes to sexual pleasure during intercourse. How? PC muscle are also responsible for the contractions you feel during an orgasm.

How do I find my kegel muscles?

To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream. If you succeed, you’ve got the right muscles.

How do I strengthen my kegel muscles?

You can strengthen you PC muscles by using ben-wa balls or simple exercises. Exercises should be done multiple times a day for maximum results. Keep reading to found out how!

What are kegel exercises?

Kegel exercises are the repetitive tightening and relaxing of the PC muscles.

Why should I do kegel exercises?

Kegel exercises won’t actually tighten your vagina. But, they will tone and strengthen your vaginal muscles, which can increase your ability to be aroused. Kegels will also create a tighter grip during intercourse. They can also help intensify contractions during orgasm, because they send more blow-flow to your nether regions!

HOW TO DO KEGEL EXERCISES:

STEP 1 –  Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles, empty your bladder and lie on your back. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for five seconds, and then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.

STEP 2 – For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.

STEP 3 – Repeat 3 times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.

HOW TO USE BEN-WA BALLS:

STEP 1 – Insert one ball at a time. Putting lubrication on the balls will help them glide in. Women have said that inserting the balls is similar to inserting a tampon. If you’re having trouble, you should lift one leg up. If that doesn’t work, try inserting them while lying down.

STEP 2 – Squeeze your leg muscles together and then your pelvic muscles together to hold the balls in. The balls should push down a little bit inside your vagina, and they will make your vagina feel “full”. Much like tampons, you should eventually get used to the feeling.

STEP 3 – Hold the balls inside for at least 15 minutes a day to strengthen your PC muscles. You can hold them in for hours for a better workout.

Visit us online at www.thereddoorstore.com for Ben-Wa balls and more!

The Worst Sex I’ve Ever Had…

Oh boy… I have had some amazing sex in my life. You don’t end up being a 40-year-old, single MILF who works for an adult company without having some tales to tell… I could tell you about the super hot anal I had on my lover’s back porch while we were grilling dinner. I could tell you about the midday, 2-hour, me-on-top tantric session we had in a hotel room. Realistically, I could write a book of erotica based on all the fun I’ve had.

But, that’s not what this blog is about. Despite the fact that I have had some epically erotic romps, I’ve also had some really terrible sex… roll your eyes, get it over with quick, laugh out loud when it’s done kinds of bad. I’m not here to bash any of my past lovers. I recognize that there is a learning curve when it comes to new partners. I know that sometimes it takes a while for two people to get comfortable enough to explore and communicate. And, I recognize that you have to take the good with the bad, that nothing is always perfect..  But what I want to do here is point out common mistakes men make when it comes to sex… and how to fix them.

Let’s take a roll call…

Mr. Selfish… These are the guys who ignore your cues. They are the ones who set a pace that doesn’t work for you. They are the ones who want oral, but don’t return the favor. And, they are the ones who finish first and don’t care whether you finish or not. Sigh… these are the lovers who get on my nerves the most. I know women need more attention to get turned on. I know we need more time to cum. But when you short-change us, you won’t be invited back.

Mr. Shove-It-In… These are the guys who skip foreplay and just want to get it on. Now, don’t get me wrong… Sometimes I am ready to go and want to skip foreplay, too. But, I’m talking about someone who never wants to warm you up. It’s like kissing, touching, or going down on you is beneath his status. These kinds of lovers can be low-maintenance and good for hot quickies. But, otherwise, they lack flare

Mr. Vanilla… These are the guys who are intimidated by female pleasure. They don’t want to use toys and explore your sexuality. They like it missionary and are afraid to try anything different. They will get offended if you ask for anything outside of their comfort zone. In other words, they are prudes. I had sex with a Mr. Vanilla once… ONCE. I scared him off! LOL!

Mr. Clueless… These are the guys that don’t know what a clitoris is and have no understanding of how to make a woman orgasm. You think I am joking… But, there are lots of men who really don’t understand female anatomy. Fortunately, I’ve avoided these guys all together.

Mr. Rub It Off… These are the guys that think fast and furious is the way to handle a clitoris. Do you know how many men have tried to rub my clit completely off? LOTS! Ease up fellas!

And here are my FIX-IT TIPS:

  • Ask your partner upfront what she needs in order to orgasm. Spend a little time experimenting with her. Listen without letting your feelings get hurt and follow her lead.
  • Spend time and energy on foreplay. Stroke her with your fingers. Pleasure her with your tongue. And if you know you’re going to finish first during intercourse, make sure she cums during foreplay!
  • During sex, pay attention to her cues. If she sounds like she is faking it, she probably is. Stop whatever it is you’re doing and try something else. Or simply whisper a sexy, “what do you want me to do to you, baby?” I promise you she will tell you exactly what she wants.
  • If you cum and she still hasn’t had a chance, let her know you want to please her once you recover. Hold, kiss, and stroke her. Tease her with your fingers or lips. Then, when you’re ready, ask her again “what do you want me to do to you, baby?” Be open to whatever she says she needs.
  • Get to know the female body. The more you know, the happier you can make her. The 2 most important things are the clitoris and the g-spot. Now granted, women have many erogenous zones. However, these are the 2 most common ones that help a woman achieve orgasm. What to educate yourself? Ask your partner questions. Read our blog. Talk to a female friend you feel comfortable with. Or, come into the store. We’ll be happy to educate you!
  • Women are not all wired the same. Each of your partners may need different things. So talk about it upfront!
  • Don’t be afraid to experiment. Be excited that your partner wants to have sex with you and explore with you. If she wants to use a toy, it doesn’t mean she’s trying to replace you.

Sex should be pleasurable for both parties! If it’s not, there is a problem. Don’t be one of the chumps above!

 

Making a Sexy To-Do List…

I am pretty sure that I am not like most women… or men, for that matter, when it comes to sex. I think about sex a LOT! And yes, men probably think about sex as much as I do. But, I bet most of them don’t think of the in the way that I do. Most men just think about doing it. Period. I think about all the fun and creative things I can do during sex. I think about role play ideas. I think about different positions for sex, or places to have sex. Basically, I am often making a mental to-do list for my sex life.

And honestly, you should be making one, too…

Why? For one thing, it’s fun! Thinking about your sexy to-do list is certainly more fun than thinking about the chores you need to do this evening. Also, it’s a form of daydreaming… and daydreaming helps to relieve stress and boredom. But most of all, it gives you a powerful tool for maintaining a healthy love-life…. VARIETY! Variety in your love-life keeps you connected, excited, and coming back for more. So, make a sexy to-do list. Put anything and everything you’ve been dying to try on the list.

But, what do you do with the list once you’ve made it? First, tell you partner you’ve got all these fun ideas for your love-life. Get them on board with making their own list. Then, share your lists with one another. In fact, make it a date! Decide on a mutual to-do list, one you both can agree on with things from each persons list. Next, jot the to-do items on slips of paper. Keep the slips of paper in a box or jar by the bed. Every now and then, take turns pulling an item out of the jar and start crossing things off your list!

Need ideas? Here are a few of the items on my sexy to-do list…

  • Sex in a hot tub – It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to fuck in a hot tub. And hot tubs are an awesome spot for girl-on-top sex!
  • Wear a wireless bullet in public – Surprisingly, I’ve never done this! I’ve had partners talk about it, but never commit to doing it!
  • Ride a face – Another one that I haven’t done in a while… but, oh so fun!
  • Be completely tied up – I’ve been partially restrained, but would love to be completely restrained… and then teased and fucked!
  • Use edible body paint – I’ve used this before. But, I had a new idea for it. I want my lover to paint my clit with it, then lick the paint off. Then I want my lover to repeat this pattern over… and over… and over again!
  • Have sex outside – I’ve done this plenty! But it’s been too cold. And now that the weather is warmer…
  • Use my We-Vibe 4 – I just got one recently and need to break it in! I want to use it for double penetration, ASAP!
  • Dress up for my partner – Yes, dress up! I want to put on heels, stockings and garters, a sexy bra and panty set, and a sexy dress. I want him to know what’s under the dress, take me to dinner, and have to wait to reap the rewards!
  • Use an accommodator – This is a chin-strap with a dong attached to it. Oh boy, would this be fun with a face ride!
  • Role play for my partner – I want to know what his fantasy is, and then act it out for him.
  • Buy a piece of sex furniture – I am dying for a piece of Liberator sex furniture! It would be awesome to have one!!
  • Shop for new toys and/or lingerie with my partner – It’s more fun to pick it out together.

Dating and Married Men

Before you immediately get yourself in a big huff, this post is NOT about dating married men! So simmer down and relax! No, no… this post is about my experience as a single woman, and the myriad of married men who contact me on dating websites. It’s my thoughts about why this happens. And, it’s hopefully a eye-opener for both the married men on the sites, and the women who are married to them!

I’ve been single for about 7 months. During that time, I have been on just about every popular dating website – Match, POF, OkCupid, etc. And while on these sites, I cannot count the number of times a married man has messaged me. I’d estimate it at about 2 a week. Mind you, these are the ones who were honest about the fact that they were married. Who knows how many are out there that are lying about their relationship status.

After about the 5th message from a married man, I set aside my dismay and anger, and began to wonder… Why are they on here? Why are they messaging me? Why do they want to cheat on their wives? So, being a curious person, I asked. Yes, I asked. And surprisingly enough, many of them answered in very candid ways.

What did I find out? The most common responses were something along these lines:

“My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore.”
“My wife and I do have sex, but it’s very boring and I need a change.”

Overall, they all expressed their love for their wives. They all said they were otherwise happy and wanted to stay married. But, the common denominator was a lack of satisfaction in their sex lives.

This saddens me. I believe that a fulfilling sex life with your partner is one of the key ingredients to a long-lasting and happy relationship. And, you can’t have a successful love-life without communication. But, it’s one of the last things we as couples feel comfortable discussing. Much of this has to do with societal norms, upbringing, etc. But, it’s something we need to address and change. You should be able to talk about sex with your partner!

And here is my response to the married men who are seeking sex outside of their relationships…

TALK TO YOUR WIVES! Go to her first. Talk to her. Tell her your needs and desires. If you are otherwise happy, you should be able to talk to her about such intimate matters. Maybe she would be willing to try some of the things you want to try. You never know unless you ask. Give her the chance to hear you out!

Furthermore, ask yourself a question – are you being reasonable? Maybe the things you are interested in are not reasonable requests for a happily married couple to experience. If you are basing your desires on porn, realize that those are actors and not everyone does those things. And the threesome you’ve always wanted? That doesn’t happen often and isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

Finally, are you being sensitive? Perhaps she doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore because you are not being sensitive to HER needs. Women need affection and support in order to feel turned-on by their partner. Maybe she resents how little you help out, or how little time you spend with her. Or, could it be that you are not taking the time to make sure she is satisfied? Women need a lot more time, dedication, and stimulation to achieve orgasm. If you are taking care of your needs, and your needs only, I don’t blame her for giving up on sex!

And here is my response to WOMEN of married men who are seeking sex outside of their relationships…

TALK TO YOUR HUSBANDS! Go to him. Talk to him. Tell him your needs and desires. Tell him what you need in order to feel sexy and desired. Tell him what you need to make sex feel better for you. Tell him what you need in order to create time and energy for sex. Give him a chance to learn and change his ways. He’s not a mind-read and he needs you to TELL HIM what you want out of sex!

Or, have you given up on sex? How about on being sexy? I know you work hard, and take care of the kids, and have groceries to get. But, keep in mind that most men are very sexual creatures. Your relationship with him, and the sex he craves, should come before all of those other things in life. I am not saying devote all your time and attention to him. I am saying find a balance. Cut out one activity or obligation a week, and make time for sex!

Finally, don’t be afraid to spice things up. Just because he wants to try a strap-on, or anal, or watching a porn together does NOT mean he is not happy with you. It means that he needs a little something extra and wants to try it with YOU! Be open to the possibilities within your comfort zone. Don’t immediately shut him down. You never know…  you might awaken things within yourself you never thought were possible. You might experience a greater intimacy and satisfaction with your husband.

If it’s something you are willing to work on together, you could connect ways you thought were long gone. A marriage is such an important relationship, and sex should not be the reason why it falls apart. This is especially true in this day and age. Using adult toys, and talking about sex in the media, are much more accepted. There are all sorts of toys and accessories designed especially with couples in mind. And, the options for improving your sex life in the adult toy world are abundant! There’s honestly no reason for a man to look outside of his relationship for sex… nor for a woman to be unsatisfied with sex!

Need ideas… Here are couples toys that could change your sex life:

We Vibe 4 – The world’s no. 1 couples vibrator, completely redesigned for better fit, heightened intensity and more control. She wears it during sex for extra stimulation to her clitoris and G-spot. Together you both share the vibe.

Hump, Bump & Vibe – This discrete cushion elevates the hips for ultimate penetration and g-spot stimulation. Plus, the included bullet makes for extra pleasure by stimulating the clitoris.

OVO B7 Vibrating Cock Ring – The German Designed B7 Pleasure Ring from OVO is rounded for comfortable use and features a dynamic and modern shape. The B7 is showerproof, whisper quiet and constructed of lead-free, phthalate-free, 100% body-safe silicone material. The ring will give him a longer, stronger erection, while the vibe is designed to stroke her clitoris for maximum pleasure.

Luna Beads Mini – Luna Beads are the world’s bestselling Kegel weights system. They ensure that every woman can find her perfect fit for the most effective pelvic floor workout. LELO’s elegant update on the classic ben wa balls offers users longer, stronger, more attainable orgasms; reduced risk of incontinence and other pelvic floor disorders; and a faster return to tone and tightness after giving birth.

Encounter Clitoral/G-spot Lube – New Encounter Female Lubricants are a unique line of specially formulated lubricants to meet the needs and desires of the female body. Amazing Encounter. Using paraben free ingredients and non glycerin based formulations, Encounter Female Lubricants offer women a range of personal care products specifically designed to enhance pleasure with comfort and ease.

Anal Ese – This desensitizing lubricant makes anal penetration more comfortable and pleasurable.

Liquid V – The power of the V has arrived!! Liquid V is the strongest female stimulating product on the market today. It is formulated to help increase stimulation and blood flow to the clitoris and amplify the strength of female climax while producing a warm tingling sensation that women love.

Max Size Cream – A great complement to MaxSize tablets, MaxSize Cream is the only topical erectile enhancement that delivers immediate results. Applied generously MaxSize Cream engorges the penis giving men a firm long lasting erection. With a cooling, heated tingly sensation your partner will love it too. Lightly flavored with mint making it edible.

Butt plugs… yes, butt plugs!

I know what you’re thinking… “A whole post about butt plugs?!” YES! This is an entire blog dedicated to butt plugs.

Why? Because I have a thing about butt plugs. I just like the way they feel. I like the sensation they provide during masturbation or sex… Therefore, I’ve tried many different sizes, shapes, and materials. I’ve tried non-vibrating and vibrating. So, I wanted to impart my knowledge and opinions on the best things to put up your butt. 😛

To begin with, let me tell you why you should use a butt plug. If you’re a man, that’s an easy answer – prostate stimulation. A butt plug will press against your prostate, which feels really good if you’re willing to try it. Plus, the pressure on your prostate will cause a much stronger, more intense orgasm. If you are a woman, a similar reasoning applies. You also have strong nerve endings in your rectum. The pressure will in turn create stronger, more intense orgasms. In addition, the pressure tightens your vaginal wall. During penetration, the snugger fit will make it easier for your partner to stimulate your g-spot. See? Butt plugs are good for everyone!!

Before you get started using an sort of plug, consider your 2 things: your lube and your anal experience level…

In regards to lubes, a silicone-based lube is the best choice for anal, as it does not absorb quickly into the rectum. That means it will last longer and create a smoother glide. However, silicone lube cannot be used with any sort of rubber, jelly, PVC, or silicone toys. It will melt the material, which is a big bummer (pun intended). But, silicone lubes work great on glass, ceramic, or metal toys. If you plan to use a rubber, jelly, PVC, or silicone toy, make sure you use a water-based lube. Just keep in mind that you may need to reapply the lube often, as it will eventually be absorbed into the rectum.

In regards to experience, pick a size that fits your level of anal comfort. If it’s your first time, don’t go for the big plug. Start small and work your way up! Even a finger-sized plug can provide some extra sensation and enjoyment.

Now, here are my suggestions on butt plugs. All of these plugs I have used, some of them more than others. There’s a little something for everyone, and I don’t think you can go wrong with any of my picks…

Doc Johnson Classic Butt Plug Small – A classic toy for beginners, this butt Plug has a smooth, tear drop shape ideal for first-time insertion. The tapered body gives a comfortable feeling and flared base holds the toy securely in place. The plug is made from non-phthalate body safe material. It’s safe to use with water-based lubes.

High Intensity Vibro Tease – This is also a great toy for beginners! This slender probe has a removable, high-intensity, quiet, push button stimulator. The vibrations are strong enough to resonate through the rectal wall, making it pleasurable for your partner, too! It’s also made from a soft jelly material, which is easy on the bottom!! It’s safe to use with water-based lubes.

Ceramix No. 2 – This is a plug I would suggest for someone who is more experienced in anal play. It has an ultra smooth surface for easier insertion. It’s hollow and features a silicone plug at the base, allowing you to fill it with warm or cold water. The toy will heat up or cool down instantly and will retain the adapted temperature for up to 20 minutes. The extra sensation of temperature play can take the anal experience to a whole new level! This plug is safe to use with silicone-based or water-based lubes.

Ram Inflatable Vibe Expander – This plug can be used by both beginners or the more experienced. Deflated, the largest end has a 1.375 inch diameter. When used for training, the expanding size can help go from slow to WHOA! Inflated, the RAM provides big stretch! So the more advanced player can pump up the volume to super size. It has a variable speed vibrator that everyone will enjoy. It’s safe to use with water-based lubes.

Metal Worx Slim Fave – This plug can be used by both beginners or the more experienced. This luxurious, dual-ended metal pleasure is made from high quality steel. It’s an all-in-one toy, perfect for vaginal or anal play. The hygienic metal finish is sleek, nonporous, and easy to clean, while the design is made to excite. The smooth, metallic surface adds in insertion, too! This plug is safe to use with silicone-based or water-based lubes.

For more anal toys, visit us online at http://thereddoorstore.com/index.php/fun-with-toys/anal-play.

Sexy Ways to Survive Your Break-up!

I recently went through a break-up and it sucks! I’m not going to lie. I didn’t WANT to break up with my man. But, I also didn’t want to continue being with someone who couldn’t love me or take care of me the way I want and need to be loved and cared for. And even though I was the one who dumped him, it still hurts… and well, I’m sometimes lonely and bored without him because now I have more time to fill.

Maybe you’re in the same boat as me… just tired of bullshit and preferring to be alone. Or, maybe you were the one who was dumped. That REALLY sucks! Being dumped can really crush the spirit for a while. You’re going to be lonely and depressed until you realize it’s probably for the best that things happened the way they did.

But whether you were the dumper or dumpee, there are lots of sexy things to help you cope with a break-up…

1. Grab some condoms and have a one night stand… or three.

Now, I am not one to promote casual sex. It’s just not my thing. But, a SAFE, random romp with a stranger can temporarily make you feel sexy, wanted, and free. The sex can be as wild and uninhibited as you want it to be. And, a few one night stands will help ease the sexual tension you may feel as the result of losing your partner. Just remember to stop by our store and pick up some of the wide variety of condoms we sell. AND remember, it’s just s.e.x. It’s not a relationship and will likely never go anywhere. If you can do that, you can get the ego boost and sexual release that will help you over the break-up hump.

2. Masturbate… a lot.

The time after a break-up can be tough if you enjoyed the sex. So, invest in a high-quality sex toy or masturbator to ease the tension. Hey, a sex toy is a lot less complicated than a one night stand or friend with benefits… and a lot safer. Also, sex toys won’t make you feel miserable. They won’t hurt your feelings. They won’t bug you or blow up your phone. And, there are some AMAZING toys out there that almost make another person irrelevant. And pleasing yourself will help you resist the urge to run back to your ex just for the sake of sex!

For guys, I suggest a Tenga Fliphole. These toys won’t cause drama and are a lot cheaper than having a girlfriend!

For gals, I suggest any one of the OVO Rabbits. These toys are affordable, powerful, and durable… Probably more powerful and durable than your last boyfriend… and most likely much more dependable!

3. Update your underwear.

I know this might sound like a weird suggestion. But, hear me out… You wore that underwear to turn him or her on. So, chuck it! Burn it in the fireplace. Cut it up and mail it to him/her in a package. Whatever you do, get rid of it all. Then, come by one of our stores and pick up some sexy new underthings for guys or gals! Having sexy new underwear can really make you feel better. Just knowing you have on something underneath your jeans can make you exude an air of sexiness. And that will surely attract new people into your life… or at least give you back a little swagger in your walk.

4. Flirt… a lot.

It can take a while to let go of the feelings from a break-up, whether you were the dumper or dumpee. And, maybe you are not ready to rejoin the dating world because you don’t want new drama, or are afraid of getting hurt. But, you can and should flirt. Flirting boosts your ego, makes you smile, and is completely harmless. It will remind you that you are sexy and desirable. And even if you just aren’t ready for that next step, it will help you to see that there are a lot of fish in the sea.

5. Learn from it.

Learning from your mistakes is sexy. Why? Because knowing your needs and wants makes you a more confident person, and therefore a sexier person. Next time, you’ll know more about what you do and don’t want/need. You’ll look for someone who is interested in fulfilling your desires, as much as they are interested in having theirs fulfilled. You won’t settle for less. That knowledge confidence, and power is all extremely sexy!

PSA: No kids please!!

I love our costumers. I do. I think anyone who works for our stores will say that helping customers is their favorite part of the job. You get to talk about sex. You get to help them have fun. And sometimes, you even learn new things from them! But, there is one thing we all don’t understand… bringing your child(ren) into the store…

So, I feel the need to say this, as it happens over and over and over again. I’m not trying to start a debate or analyze the effects of it…  Just trying to get the message out to all parents… PLEASE, please,  please, do not try to bring your children into our stores!!! Read the big sign next to the door that says “No one under 18 admitted. Must present ID”, and leave the kiddos at home!

If you have to ask “why”, here are a few reasons:

1. It is against the law for anyone under 18 to be in our stores. Anyone.under.18. Anyone.
2. We don’t like it when you call us names because we ask you to leave. But, you still  can’t come in with your kids. See #1.
3. We understand you might not be able to get a babysitter. But, you still can’t come in with your kids. See #1.
4. We realize they are young enough that they probably won’t know what’s going on. But, you still can’t come in with your kids. See #1.
5. We realize you may just be here for a grab and go item, like for 5 minutes. But, you still can’t come in with  your kids. See #1.

And even more importantly, we’d really appreciate it if you didn’t lock your kids in the car while you come in to shop… or leave them outside the door to the store!! It’s just that we love kids and don’t want anything bad to happen to them. It’s so easy to get distracted in our stores and lose track of time. You just never know what could happen…

This is a daily problem my coworkers. Some of us have children. So, we get having a limited amount of time. And, we really do want to help you and provide the BEST customer service around. But, we sell almost everything in our store on our website!! You don’t have to come in at all! Order online. Save time and don’t worry about a babysitter. Then, get your love on!! http://thereddoorstore.com/

We’re all freaks… By Danny Z

Do you know what’s a common thing I run into with my line of work? Almost immediately, when someone finds out that I work at a sex shop, they ask, “What is the freakiest thing you’ve sold or seen?”

It is a very interesting question. I’ll give you that! But, what may be “freaky” to me, may not be freaky to you…

Someone asked me the same exact question the other day, for the umpteenth time. But, it made me realize I no longer believe that there such thing as “freaky”. People do what they do – whether they are embarrassed about it or not. In fact, it is nothing to be ashamed of in the first place!

But it’s a sort of conundrum, if you think about it… We so open with our opinions and thoughts as a society. We criticize our government openly. We post incriminating photos on Facebook or Instagram. We post our family drama or bad mouth our workplaces on Facebook. But when it comes to sexual desires – we avoid being open and honest about them. It’s kind of disheartening that all of that stuff is not freaky, but quite normal… Yet, people are still afraid to talk about sex and will judge alternative preferences as freaky.

While I may have my own preferences, and you have yours, everyone has theirs own tastes in sex and should be allowed to – whatever their tastes may be! You like toys? Fine. Not into foreplay? Cool.  Like men, women, or both? Whatever. If you knew the amount of people who come into our, but can’t look me in the face, you would be amazed! BUT THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED! I don’t know why anyone is embarrassed about it. People have masturbated for YEARS. They are not the first person, certainly not the last. It also doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. It just says that you want to “spice things up”. And, well… everyone likes to have fun. I think we can agree on that.

There is no need for bashfulness when looking for an item – from a simple vibrator to something more extreme. In our store, we sell almost the exact same amount of both mild and wild! There is a demand for both, even if one might be more mainstream than the other. And, here is where it gets silly… Multiple times a day, I get whispered questions or concerns about something – anal, restraints, vibes, etc. It’s because people are scared for others to hear them… But what they don’t realize is that someone was in the store, right before they were, inquiring about the exact same products just moments before! How funny is that?

We’re not shy about our lives, except when it comes to sex… And it doesn’t have to be that way!

Here is just a list of a few things I think folks shouldn’t be so embarrassed about. Take a look! You may find that what you are afraid to try or ask about is actually quite common…

  • Anal sex… This is probably the most asked about topic in the store. Everyone is doing it, or wants to try it.
  • Prostate stimulation… A lot of men really enjoy prostate play. But, there is a stigma that it means you’re gay if you like it. FACT : You’re not a gay, unless you date/sleep with others of the same sex. FACT: The prostate is an a very sensitive erogenous area and can create intense orgasms when stimulated.
  • Porn… Porn is everywhere. Almost everyone has or is watching it. There’s nothing wrong with that.
  • Toys… Lots of people use toys. And, toys are additive to sex, not substitutions for it. Think of it like this… Ice cream is good on its own. But, it is better with sprinkles! So, adding toys to the mix doesn’t make you a freak.
  • Enhancements… Be it pills, creams, delay gels, or extensions, it’s ok if you need to supplement your sex life! We can’t all be porn stars. We’re busy, tired humans, and sometimes we need a little help.

So, be yourself and do what makes you happy! Normal is relative, and you’re normal… Trust me. I think Dr. Seuss said it best – “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”