Anal 101: A Beginner’s Guide

I’ll be honest… I like anal sex. I’ve had some of my strongest orgasms during anal sex. I also find there is a certain amount of trust and surrender I experience during anal sex, which is a wild turn-on for me. And, Mr. Big (my lover) likes anal sex, too. It’s pretty hot sex, not to mention a REALLY tight spot for him to put his penis. And what man doesn’t like tight?? But, HE also likes anal stimulation. Press his prostate and he’s putty in my hands.

But for most people, anal sex is such a taboo subject… something that is only done in porn or by gay men. Let’s face it… Most women fear it or find it to be too “dirty”. Most straight men have a fascination with it, but would never dream of stimulating that area on their own bodies. But, the truth be told, it can be very pleasurable for both men and women. It’s because the area is actually one of the most sensitive erogenous zones on your body! Here’s why…

FOR MEN:
*The prostate, located just at the front of the rectum, is essentially the male G-spot.
*This chestnut-sized gland is situated about two inches inside and can be found by slowly inserting a finger and pressing towards the penis.
*Stimulating it or applying pressure with a finger, tongue, or anal plug can provide INTENSE orgasms for men.

FOR WOMEN:
*The rectum is home to tons of nerve endings. Because of this, anal stimulation or sex can produce INTENSE orgasms for women, too!
*This is because anal intercourse, or using a plug, will put firm pressure to the g-spot.
*Also, using an anal plug tightens the vaginal wall, which will create more pleasure for you both!

Want to give it a try? Here are some tips for how to open the backdoor… (wink, wink)

Communicate – Communication is key before and during anal sex or stimulation. Talk to your partner about what you’d like to try, or what fears you may have. During your experimentation, let your partner know how things are going by telling them what you’d like more or less of, and if anything hurts.

Plan – Set aside some quality time to shop for toys and lubrication. Then, make sure you have plenty of time to experiment. Being relaxed is key!! So, make time to massage each other, cuddle, or make out. During your experimentation, GO SLOW. Rushing this is not going to work. Be patient with yourself and with your partner. Remember, this type of penetration requires more trust than traditional sex does. Plowing along full speed ahead can ruin the whole experience and cause your partner pain.

Prepare – Get to know your body and when you’re most “empty”. That can go a long way in keeping things clean. Your rectum is usually empty unless you really need to go. But, if you want to be 100% sure, a mild enema will make certain things are clean.

Lubricate – Your anus does not produce any natural lubrication. So, using a water-based, high quality lube will make things a lot easier. It will reduce friction and make any kind of anal penetration more comfortable. I suggest using System Jo’s H20 anal formula. If you are just really nervous about the pain, try using a desensitizing lubricant such as Liquid Sex’s anal formula. The numbing agent will take the edge off. But, it’s especially important to go slow and gentle with a numbing lube, as you won’t be able to feel if something is not working right.

Start Small – Not ready to jump straight into anal sex? Start with a small plug or vibrating toy, and then work your way up. Even a small toy can make a big impact in heightening your climax. Need ideas? Check out our anal toys online or visit us in-store for more selection!

At the end of the day, if anal stimulation and/or sex are not your thing, no big deal. It’s not for everyone. Sex should be about mutual pleasure. So, there is never any reason to do something you don’t like when your in the bedroom. But if you are the least bit intrigued, it’s worth giving it a try. Who knows? You make like it, and it could open up an entirely new dimension in your sex life. And as always, we at the RedDoor are happy to help you take it to the next level… 😉

DICK·tion·ar·y… Penis knowledge for everyone!

Penises can come (and cum) in all shapes, sizes, and colors. They’re a source of pleasure for their owners, and their owner’s partners. So, here’s a blog post dedicated to the penis.

The Basic Facts:

• There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn’t get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower). Most men are growers.
• The average man has  11 erections during the day. The average man will also ejaculate 7200 times in his life.
• You need to have erections often in order to keep your penis in shape. Basically, it needs regular exercise.
• No time for “exercise”? Don’t worry. Your penis will do the work for you while you sleep. Most men have 3-9 erections a night.
• The average time it takes a man to orgasm is 3 minutes.
• The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds.
• Only 6 % of the male population needs extra-large rubbers, according to condom manufacturers. In other words, 94 % of men lie.
• The average penis size, when erect, is 5 to 6.4 inches.
• The underside of the head and shaft are the most sexually sensitive areas on a penis.

I Bet You Didn’t Know…

• Human males used to actually have a bone in their penises referred to as a “baculum”. The baculum still exists in other primates where it keeps the penis rigid long enough to deliver sperm. Human males now rely only on blood pressure for their boners.
• Only 1 man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself a blow-job!
• According to studies, better-looking men may have stronger sperm.
• Your brain is not necessary for ejaculation (insert joke here). The order to ejaculate actually comes from the spinal cord.
• The most common cause of penile rupture is vigorous masturbation.
• Vibrators aren’t only for women. They work on the penis, too. Repeated vibrations against the penis can cause orgasm and ejaculation.
• Foreskins have been used  to grow artificial skin cells for burn victims.

Things You SHOULD Know…

• Smoking makes you 30% more likely to suffer from impotence. Why? It affects your cardiovascular system, which is responsible for getting blood flow going in your penis. It can also cause damage to penile tissue, making it less elastic and stretchy. Furthermore, smoking can shorten your penis by a centimeter!
• For an averaged size man, it can only take 3 alcoholic beverages to impair your penis’s ability to rise to the occasion.
• 20% of American marriages end in divorce because of sexual dysfunction. That’s why it pays to keep your penis healthy!
• Regular sex has many health benefits for men including higher levels of certain antibodies, lower blood pressure, keeping a healthy body weight, pain relief, higher self-esteem, and improved sleep!

How We Can Help…

• Single, or not getting enough sex? Try one of our many masturbations toys!
• Want to improve blood flow to your penis? Try one of our many styles of penis pumps!
• Need a boost to your size? Try one of our enhancement creams!
• Giving yourself regular penis workouts? Try one of our warming lubes!
• Want to improve your erections? Try one of our cock rings!

Vibrators 101: things that make you go hmmm!

When you walk into one of our stores, we make a point to greet you with a warm welcome, as well as offer to answer any and all questions. We want you to feel safe and comfortable, like we’re a close friend with which you can share your secrets. Lots of customers jump right in and pick our brains for what’s hot. But, there are always the customers who quickly offer, “I’m just looking”, then hurriedly skitter away. Here’s what happens next… They wander around for a few minutes. They try NOT to look at any of the toys. Then, they sheepishly return to one of us and say, “I need help. I have no idea what I am looking for! I’ve never, ever bought something like this before!” We smile and jump right in to what I call our “101 talks.” Whatever you’re looking for, we know what to use, what’s the best of the best, and how to make the most of it.

One of the types of items we sell the most of would be vibrators. But, vibrators come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors. Not to mention, the can serve a variety of functions in the bedroom. Therefore, we frequently give “Vibrator 101” talks as we guide nervous, yet curious customers around the store. So, here’s my run-down on vibrators, just for you:

The Basic – This is also called a “starter vibe.” It’s not phallic in shape and is usually made of a smooth plastic material. These vibes usually have limited functions and speeds (think slow/medium/fast). Basic vibes run from small to medium in size, but run small in girth. They are great for someone who is looking for a starter toy, or just wants something inexpensive and basic. I suggest the Velvet Touch Vibe, by Doc Johnson. If you want a little more excitement from a basic vibe, try one of our Climax Gems by Topco for a textured experience!

The Bullet – This is also often referred to as an egg. Bullets are usually bullet-shaped, wand-shaped, or egg-shaped. They are usually made of a smooth plastic, or may be covered in a soft gel or silicone material. These vibes can range in function from a simple 3-speed to a 10 function ability, complete with pulses and patterns. Often times, they are attached to a remote. But, you can buy wireless versions. They range in size from 1″ to about the size of an egg. They are great for someone who wants clitoral stimulation during sex or masturbation. They are also good for vaginal use, if you’re looking for something on the small side. Bullets can range in price and quality, but here are my top 3 suggestions:

• The Teardrop Bullet, by Doc Johnson – Small, powerful, quiet, inexpensive… all good things!
• The 10 Function Wireless Remote Bullet, by Pipedream Products – Small, powerful, 10 orgasmic functions, and works from 25 feet away
• The Tango, by We Vibe – Small, REALLY powerful, waterproof, rechargeable, with a wide range of vibrating modes

Vibrating Dildos/Dongs – Now we’re getting into some serious trouble! This is where you will begin to find more variety in the selection of toys. If you’re looking for a vibrator that may resemble your lover, this is where you want to start. Vibrating dildos are phallic in shape and resemble penises – veins, ridges, curves and all. They are made of soft gels and silicone. They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Sizes range from 5″ to 12″ (unless you special order). Girths can range from the slender to the very hefty! And, these vibes come in colors from natural skin colors to wild colors like pink, purple, and blue. They may have only 3 speeds, or they may have multi-function settings that include pulses and patterns. They will range in price and quality. I suggest you try one of our EZ Bend Dongs, by California Exotics.

Rabbits/Multi-Stims – Rabbit is the generic term to describe a vibrator that has both a vaginal shaft, as well as an external stimulator for the clitoris. Sometimes, these toys also have a 3rd stimulator for anal penetration. Like vibrating dildos & dongs, they are made of soft gels and silicone. They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Sizes range from 5″ to 10″ (unless you special order). Girths can range from the slender to the very hefty! And, these vibes come in colors from natural skin colors to wild colors like pink, purple, and blue. They may have only 3 speeds, or they may have multi-function settings that include pulses and patterns. They will range in price and quality. Where they differ from vibrating dildos & dongs in that they often do not look realistic and may have see-through shafts which contain rotating beads. I suggest these toys, if you’re looking for a rabbit:

• For beginner’s – Try a Platinum Butterfly Kiss, by California Exotics. It’s small and has multi-function vibrations.
• For serious fun – Try the Thrusting Jack Rabbit, by California Exotics. Thrusting action and multi-function vibrations – YES!
• For premium fun – Try the Thrill by We-Vibe, or the Ina by Lelo. High quality, rechargeable, multi-function toys designed for maximum pleasure!

G-Spot Vibrators – A G-spot vibrator is any of the about toys, but with a curved shaft specifically designed to put pressure on the g-spot. By applying pressure to the g-spot, you increase sexual pleasure, as well as the likelihood and intensity of orgasm. For maximum g-spot stimulation, I suggest the Gigi, by Lelo. The Gigi is the ultimate mid-size G-spot massager with a flattened tip is designed specifically for that erogenous zone. It’s also rechargeable and whisper-quiet, with 5 adjustable stimulation modes.

Wands/Personal Massagers – These toys are essentially the same as a personal back massagers. They are wand shaped, high-powered, with a large vibrating heads. Wands are not used for penetration and are external toys only. These toys usually do not have multi-function patterns or pulses, but instead have ranges in speed from low to high. Wands are best for women who have difficulty achieving orgasm, or do not climax with traditional vibrating toys. They range in price and size – from mini to full length (about 10″ long). Wands usually have a plug-in cord, but do come in battery-powered and rechargeable styles. For someone interested in a wand, I suggest trying the Bodywand Mini, by Bodywand. Start small to see if this is the type of toy for you. If so, invest in something bigger and more powerful!

So, that’s Vibrators 101. I hope you learned something new! There’s also vibrating glass toys, vibrating anal toys, vibrating panties, vibrating cock-rings, vibrating tongue rings, and many, many more things that can make you go hmmm… But, I will save all that for another day, another blog, another 101 class!!

Me vs. the We-Vibe 3…

When I first saw the We-Vibe, I’ll admit… I was skeptical. I had friends who SWORE by it, said it changed their sex lives, that it was a miracle for couples. It’s a strange looking toy, not like your average phallic, rabbit-laden styles. It kind of resembles a boomerang. I’ve used a lot of sex toys in my life. I mean, I work for a sex shop. But, this toy confounded me. I held out and wouldn’t believe the hype… until We-Vibe gave me their latest model, the We-Vibe 3. And who can turn down a free sex toy? So, I charged up my We-Vibe 3 and accepted the challenge.

Later that day, my partner stared at me with a confused look on his face. “What is it again? And, you said we do what with it?” You see, the We-Vibe 3 is a couple’s toy. You insert one end in the vagina and the other end sits on your clitoris. The whole thing vibrates. Your partner slides in under the end that’s in your vagina. It results in a tighter fit and vibrating stimulation for both your vagina and clitoris, and also his penis. And, the vaginal end pushes up against your g-spot – a triple whammy for the clit, g-spot, and residing penis. Yay! Now, maybe you are starting to see where my skepticism came from… How does it fit in there? How does that create life-altering sex? Wouldn’t your average bullet do something similar?

Despite our reservations (and maybe a smidge of confusion), my partner and I experimented with the We-Vibe 3. I’ll admit, it was awkward at first. But, once things got going, it heightened everything. My g-spot was being pressed on like it was a magic button of love. My clitoris was so excited it didn’t even know what the hell to do. And, the vibrating against my partner’s penis… well he wasn’t complaining!! So, yeah, yeah, we were convinced.

But, we got to thinking… and you know how dirty minds are once they get to thinking. The We-Vibe 3 happens to have some nifty features. It’s completely submersible under water. It comes with a wireless remote control. And, it’s made of body-safe silicone that grips to your skin. When you take into consideration those three features, it opens up a world of possibilities. Boy did we think up some possibilities! Here’s the top ways we use our We-Vibe 3:

• Wrap it around his balls while giving him head – my partner loves extra attention to the boys. The gripping silicone gently clings to the balls, providing a light squeeze AND vibration. He loves this!
• Use it as a wireless panty vibe – He keeps the remote; I wear the We-Vibe 3 in my panties. With the click of a button, he can tease me anywhere, anytime. We’ve utilized it on many dinner dates… check please!
• Use it as anal toy – if you like a little backdoor stimulation, the We-Vibe 3 is an awesome choice. One end slips in your bottom, while the other end vibrates against your perineum. He’ll love that he can feel the vibration through your vaginal wall.
• Try it on his prostate – My partner likes anal stimulation, as well. The shape of the We-Vibe 3’s head puts the pressure on his prostate, making him act like a crazy man. So, he’ll use it while I am giving him head or during sex.
• Use it for double penetration – This is my favorite way to use the We-Vibe 3. I slip the bigger end inside my vagina and have the other end resting on my clit. Then, my partner and I lube up for anal penetration. The gripping silicone holds the toy in place really well.
• Use it as a solo toy – The We-Vibe 3 is powerful enough to use for masturbation. Why buy a rabbit when the We-Vibe 3 can do double duty as a couple’s toy AND a solo toy?!
• Update on 7/19/13 – This just in… We came up with yet another use! I used the bigger head inside, with the smaller head placed on my perineum. Then, my partner went down on me. It was amazing! Unlike traditional toys, the shape of the WeVibe makes it so the toy is not in the way during oral sex!

So, in the end, I am a believer. It has changed my sex-life! We keep it charged up and ready to go in case we’re ready to go! The We-Vibe 3 wins every time…