Bringing your sexy back!

I’ll admit it… a few months ago, I did not feel sexy at all. Yes, me, the sex shop blogger. In the past year, I’ve gained about 20 pounds thanks to a pretty stressful change in my career. I am a curvy girl and usually embrace my body with confidence and joy. But, I’ve felt sluggish due to a lack of exercise. I am just so very busy! And well, lacking the time to care for yourself, plus a general state of exhaustion, doesn’t do much for your self-esteem.

On top of that, I experienced a pretty big break-up. The break-up had me questioning my self-worth, as break-ups often do. Hey, I’m human… AND a woman!! It happens. Afterwards, I went out on a lot of disappointing dates. Yes, I had rebound sex with a few of them. But, the sex was LAME. We’re talking so bad you’re not sure if you should laugh or cry. Conclusion? Rebound sex hasn’t done much for my self-esteem either. I could pinch myself for stooping so low! YUCK! Again, I’m human. It happens.

So, there I was, not feeling sexy at all. And let me tell you – It’s hard to inspire others to have a healthy sex life when you yourself are not feeling all that sexy. I had to do something. Somehow, I had to get my sexy back. And you know what? I did and it’s paid off. I am enjoying my body more. I have more swivel in my hips. My boobs feel perkier. My lips seem more kissable. And most of all, I am enjoying sex again! (It turns out that not all dates are disappointing). I am having fun with my partner and feel sexy, sexual, and sensual. Here’s what had to happen:

1. I decided to stop online dating – Have you ever tried online dating? It’s a sexiness killer. It’s a meat market. And if you’re not the prime cut, you’re the chopped liver. All books are judged by their cover. So, I took myself off the shelf. Why on Earth should I let a bunch of shallow men determine my worth? I’ve known all along that I am sexy, curves and all. I truly believe sexiness comes from within!! It’s all in the attitude. But, I had let a bunch of strangers convince me otherwise. So, I took my sexy back and vowed never again to let other people determine my sex appeal.

2. I decided to be myself… relentlessly – Again, this is something I have been very good about doing in the past. Being comfortable in your own skin is sexy. But, I had forgotten how empowering it is… and how freeing! When you don’t give a flying fuck about what others think of you, your confidence improves. Trust me.

3. I faked it until I felt it – I wasn’t 100% sure that I believed all the self-hype. I am a woman. And let’s face it, women tend to be insecure. So, I decided to pretend to be sexy until I believed I was sexy.

4. As part of #3, I decided to dress the part – I bought new bras and panties in pretty, flattering colors. For some reason, sexy underwear really makes me feel sexy, even if no one else ever sees it. I also bought some sexy shoes. I made of point of looking “cute” as much as possible, accentuating the things that make me sexy – my eyes, breasts, hips, and legs. I made a point of wearing make-up every day. I painted my toes in sexy colors and kept my feet pedicured. I made sure my nails were manicured, too. Now, I am not saying I did this every day, just as much as possible. Why? If I look sexy, I’LL FEEL SEXY!

5. And finally, I did a little self-love – I had forgotten how to express my sexual needs in my last relationship. This made sex very unsatisfying. Plus, when you don’t feel sexy, you don’t really want to have sex anyways. So recently, I decided to make a point of pleasing myself whenever possible. I touched my own breasts. I took the time to pleasure myself, make myself feel sexual and satisfied. I took back the power of pleasure, from something I expected others to give me, to instead something I should claim for myself. I regained my voice in the bedroom.

However, maybe you’re not a single woman rediscovering her sexiness. Maybe you’re in a relationship and things are stale. Perhaps you’re in a relationship and just feeling blah. All of the same rules above apply!

• Stop worrying about what others think! If, you’re partner wants to have sex with you. That’s all that matters.
• And, don’t compare yourself to others. It’s just a self-destructive way to highlight your flaws.
• Be yourself… extra weight, wrinkles, and all! No one is perfect. We all have physical flaws. Don’t let them stop you from being sexy, or enjoying sex. If you wait until you are perfect, you’re never going to have sex again!
• Fake it until you make it. In other words, have sex even if you don’t really want to. The more you have sex with your partner, the more you’ll begin to want it again.
• Ditch the sweats. Put a little effort into your appearance. Also, admire you own body and accentuate the parts you love.
• Buy sexy lingerie that highlights those areas. Flattering, new lingerie or sexy boxer can go a long way to boosting your internal sexiness.
• Exercise… you may not instantly become a super model. But, you will have more energy and stamina.
• Masturbate… because it feels good and teaches you what you need to orgasm.
• Then, tell your partner what you need to orgasm. Just explaining it to them can be enough to make them want to rip your clothes off!
• Ditch the distractions. Spend a day without TV, radios, the laptop, even the kids! Just spend a day delighting in your partner’s company.
• Be naked a lot. Get comfortable being naked. Learn to enjoy the feel of your own skin. Love your lumps, curves, and dimples. Once you’re ok with your naked body, you’ll ooze sexiness!
• Take naked pictures of yourself, even if it’s just of your favorite area, and send them to your partner. The reaction you get will confirm your sexiness.

I promise if you follow my advice, you’ll get your sexy back soon. You just have to remember that sexiness is something that comes from within you. It’s something you have to nurture. If you neglect your sexiness, it shows. Take time to do things for yourself, harnessing your inner sexy beast. You are sexy! Just believe it!

Need more ideas? Check out our selection of lingerie, toys, and pleasure gels to get you in a sexy mood!

Yes, HARDER! (or my thoughts on pleasure and pain)

Believe it or not, there is a “Kinky Scale” when it comes to BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism). The scale was created by Dr. Charley Ferrer in 2007. Dr. Ferrer developed the scale to “provide a general idea of where [someone falls] within the world of dominance and submission.” (bdsmwriterscon.com, Oct. 22, 2013)  It ranges from 0 to 6, 0 being the most “vanilla” and 6 being the most “kinky” (see scale below).

Kinky Scale: 0 to 6

• 0 – Totally vanilla, no desires nor dreams/fantasies
• 1 – Dreams/fantasizes about it but doesn’t interact
• 2 – Interacts in it, whether Dominant or submissive, on a compartmentalized basis
• 3 – Fully embraces BDSM as part of their relationship and over 50% of their interpersonal/intimate relationships have a BDSM foundation/component (mixing D/s & vanilla)
• 4 – 24/7 Master/slave interactions with their partner (over 75-80% of their interaction is D/s though vanilla interactions may be mixed in.)
• 5 – Extreme BDSM practices (edge play)
• 6 — Criminal sadist

To read more about the scale, click here.

If I had to pick a hard and fast number on the Kinky Scale, I would call myself a “2”. For the most part, I prefer the submissive role and like to keep my BDSM play confined to the bedroom. I like relenting, releasing control, being told what to do… in the bedroom! I don’t want to be a slave, however. I don’t have the patience to completely submit. I am what some of my Dom friends call a “brat”. I was once in a relationship where I was more of a “3”, but it didn’t work for me in the long run. I prefer my BDSM as a bedroom activity, but not much more.

When it comes to the S&M (Sadomasochism) part of BDSM, I would also say that I am a “2”, bordering on a “3”. I enjoy pain more than most people. I can actually tolerate quite a bit of pain. But, I am not actively seeking pain. And, I don’t want to do anything that could really bruise me or break my skin and make me bleed.  For example, I like to be spanked and man-handled. I like a firm bite that makes me wince, but not bleed. I like having my hair pulled on pretty hard. I don’t mind the pain of anal. And, I even don’t mind being belted, paddled, or flogged… just hard enough to make me notice and wince, but not hard enough to make me use a “safe word”.

In the past year, I became single after ending my “3” relationship of four years. I began the wild and not-so-wonderful world of dating. And, I decided to be frank about what I like and want and need. I am almost 40 years old. At this point, you just have to be yourself! Why waste time pretending to be someone you’re not? Why waste time on someone who isn’t going to give you what you want and need? It makes no sense. So, I embarked on dating with the intent to be as honest as possible about my sexual preferences without coming off as being crazy.

What I discovered was most men my age are solid 0’s when it comes to BDSM. They had no interest in or desire to try anything related to BDSM. Occasionally, I’ve met a few 1’s. They like to think about spanking or dominating a woman, but perhaps have been too scared to try. Or, maybe they just haven’t found the right woman with which to experiment. However, whenever I tell them about my BDSM likes, 0’s and 1’s alike always have 2 responses: they’d feel uncomfortable hurting someone, and they want to know why I like it.

Let me address the first statement… Do not feel uncomfortable with hurting me. I am asking you to hurt me. I WANT you to hurt me. And sometimes, I NEED you to hurt me to get me off. When I say “harder”, I mean “HARDER” and I will let you know if it’s too hard. I promise you that if you are doing anything outside of my comfort-zone, I will let you know immediately. Furthermore, I am not going to just jump into this. I want to get to know anyone before I let them experiment with me. I want to have conversations about it, so that we are both on the same page. We’re never going to do something if I don’t know you and trust you. If I trust you to hurt me, then know that it’s OK.

As for why I like it… I honestly don’t have a clear answer. Nothing happened to me as a child that caused me to have deep psychological issues where I desire punishment. It’s not that. I don’t really want to be punished, anyways. I think it’s just that I am a sensual person. I like anything to do with the senses. I like color and sound, art and music. I love tastes and smells, decadent foods and luxury perfumes. I like touch, sensual and soft, or hard and quick. So for me, a fast, hard smack on the ass ignites my senses. It lights up my body and keys me in to all the sensations of sex. A strong pull of my hair makes me hyper-aware that you’re thrusting inside me from behind. In other words, the pain heightens my pleasure. I don’t think that’s so hard to understand. All that aside, it’s just fun for me. I like to keep things interesting in the bedroom. I like variety. So, throwing in some BDSM every now and then adds the spice I need.

And, sometimes… I am just a naughty girl who needs a spanking. 😉

 

May is for Masturbation Challenge!

International Masturbation Day is an annual event celebrated on May 7th to protect the right to masturbate. The first National Masturbation Day was first observed on May 7th, 1995. It was created in honor of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was fired by President Bill Clinton for suggesting masturbation be a part of sex education curriculum for students. Since then, International Masturbation Day has been expanded to include the entire month of May, known as International Masturbation Month!

At the RedDoor, we love masturbation! We encourage you to celebrate International Masturbation Month as often as possible during the month of May. Why? Whether you’re single, or just need a little alone time without your partner, masturbation is a great way to release sexual energy. Aside from being fun, masturbation has also be proven to be good for you! It can boost your immunity, relieve stress, help with sexual function, and may even reduce risks of cancer. For some great tips on masturbation, click here.

And in honor of International Masturbation Month, here’s a fun Masturbation Challenge to inspire and stimulate you! See how many you can check off the list…

• Masturbate to porn
  Masturbate in the shower
• Masturbate in the car
• Masturbate at work
• Masturbate without your hands
• Masturbate outside
• Masturbate with someone watching
• Masturbate using an anal toy
• Masturbate at a party
• Masturbate in the bathroom of a restaurant
• Masturbate in the bathroom of a bar
• Masturbate first thing in the morning before getting up
• Masturbate while reading erotica
• Masturbate in the kitchen
• Masturbate laying next to some who’s masturbating
• Masturbate, record a video, and send it to your partner
• Masturbate with a vibrating toy
• Masturbate with the shower head
• Masturbate, but don’t cum
• Masturbate with your underwear on
• Masturbate with your clothes on
• Masturbate to a nude magazine
• Masturbate to a picture of your favorite star
• Masturbate with a warming lube or gel
• Masturbate with a cooling lube or gel
• Masturbate with a pillow

Got a idea for the challenge? Comment below! Need inspiration? Visit the RedDoor online!

 

The Art of Sensual Massage

Want to bring a new level of romance and intimacy to your love life? Give a sensual massage to your partner!

Sensual massages are sexier and more intimate than a typical massage. They can really set the scene for an erotic, special, relaxing and intimate evening. Setting the mood, learning some basic massage techniques, and having a willingness to experiment can all go a long way in creating intimacy and sensuality when giving your partner a massage.

So, take the time to enhance your love-life with these tips for turning a regular rub-down into a sensual massage.

1. Drape the bed – Massage oil stains. So, I suggest investing in a Liberator Fascinator Throe. These supremely plush, washable throws are specially designed to slurp up love juices, lubes, lotions, and any other leftovers of sexual play. Don’t want to go this route? Buy an expensive, long, yet plush beach towel to drape across the bed. BUT, make sure it’s a solid color and super soft!

2. Pick out a quality massage oil – We carry a large selection of massage oils – organic, scented, warming, flavored/edible, and lubricating. Decide what would work best for your intimate ideas and your partner’s skin. Make sure you buy more than you may actually need; the more you have, the more sensual the massage experience! For our selection of massage oils online, click here.

3. Create ambience – It’s hard to feel romantic when there’s laundry on the floor. Take the time to clean up the bedroom and make the bed. I also suggest dimming the lights or lighting some candles. If you’re feeling really romantic, sprinkle rose petals across the bed. Finally, set the mood with a mellow, yet sexy playlist for your iPod.

4. Follow basic massage techniques – You can read up on different types of massage and strokes. But, learning the basics can go a long way. Here are a few basic tips to follow:

• Warm the oil in your hands by pouring a small amount in your palms and lightly rubbing them together.
• Then, spread the oil over the skin using smooth strokes to prepare the skin for the massage.
• Use long languid strokes to work knots and to help relax the muscles.
• Decide where you will begin. A traditional approach is to begin with the back, buttocks and back of the legs, then work on the feet, front of the legs and progress up the body. Finish with the face and head.
• Always completely finish one area of the body before moving on to the next.
• Try not to talk. Keeping it quiet is part of the relaxing, sensuous atmosphere you’re aiming to create.

5. Communicate your desires – Before starting the massage, talk about what you both want out of it. If this is for intimacy, keep the massage about touching and creating closeness. Leave the erotic touches for later. You can take turns giving each other massages, then shower up together afterwards. I promise you’ll feel amazingly connected. If you’re in this for eroticism, touch all the erogenous zones as part of your massage… but do so slowly and with intent! Don’t rush things. Delight in the sensation of touch. Make each stroke slow and purposeful – lingering, grazing, lightly pinching, etc. The slow build of passion makes a sensual massage all that much better!

Making a Sexy To-Do List…

I am pretty sure that I am not like most women… or men, for that matter, when it comes to sex. I think about sex a LOT! And yes, men probably think about sex as much as I do. But, I bet most of them don’t think of the in the way that I do. Most men just think about doing it. Period. I think about all the fun and creative things I can do during sex. I think about role play ideas. I think about different positions for sex, or places to have sex. Basically, I am often making a mental to-do list for my sex life.

And honestly, you should be making one, too…

Why? For one thing, it’s fun! Thinking about your sexy to-do list is certainly more fun than thinking about the chores you need to do this evening. Also, it’s a form of daydreaming… and daydreaming helps to relieve stress and boredom. But most of all, it gives you a powerful tool for maintaining a healthy love-life…. VARIETY! Variety in your love-life keeps you connected, excited, and coming back for more. So, make a sexy to-do list. Put anything and everything you’ve been dying to try on the list.

But, what do you do with the list once you’ve made it? First, tell you partner you’ve got all these fun ideas for your love-life. Get them on board with making their own list. Then, share your lists with one another. In fact, make it a date! Decide on a mutual to-do list, one you both can agree on with things from each persons list. Next, jot the to-do items on slips of paper. Keep the slips of paper in a box or jar by the bed. Every now and then, take turns pulling an item out of the jar and start crossing things off your list!

Need ideas? Here are a few of the items on my sexy to-do list…

• Sex in a hot tub – It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to fuck in a hot tub. And hot tubs are an awesome spot for girl-on-top sex!
• Wear a wireless bullet in public – Surprisingly, I’ve never done this! I’ve had partners talk about it, but never commit to doing it!
• Ride a face – Another one that I haven’t done in a while… but, oh so fun!
• Be completely tied up – I’ve been partially restrained, but would love to be completely restrained… and then teased and fucked!
• Use edible body paint – I’ve used this before. But, I had a new idea for it. I want my lover to paint my clit with it, then lick the paint off. Then I want my lover to repeat this pattern over… and over… and over again!
• Have sex outside – I’ve done this plenty! But it’s been too cold. And now that the weather is warmer…
• Use my We-Vibe 4 – I just got one recently and need to break it in! I want to use it for double penetration, ASAP!
• Dress up for my partner – Yes, dress up! I want to put on heels, stockings and garters, a sexy bra and panty set, and a sexy dress. I want him to know what’s under the dress, take me to dinner, and have to wait to reap the rewards!
• Use an accommodator – This is a chin-strap with a dong attached to it. Oh boy, would this be fun with a face ride!
• Role play for my partner – I want to know what his fantasy is, and then act it out for him.
• Buy a piece of sex furniture – I am dying for a piece of Liberator sex furniture! It would be awesome to have one!!
• Shop for new toys and/or lingerie with my partner – It’s more fun to pick it out together.

Pegging 101: A Guide to Straight Strap-on Sex

Are you a woman who has a man that’s interested in anal stimulation? Or, are you a man who would like to be penetrated?

Believe it or not, many straight men like anal penetration – with toys, fingers, tongues, and more. Yes, it’s true! I have been with men who’ve enjoyed it and would have never dreamed of having sex with a man. Why do straight men enjoy penetration? It’s because the prostate is located inside the anal canal. The prostate is a hot-bed of erogenous sensation. At minimum, prostate stimulation feels good and can intensify orgasms. However, some men can achieve orgasm by stimulation the prostate alone.

One of the ways to stimulate the prostate is with “pegging”. Pegging is defined as “a woman using a strap-on on her male partner for anal penetration.” Essentially, you are reversing roles. In pegging, the woman takes on the role of the man, penetrating her partner from behind.

I’ve already explained how this can be pleasurable for men on a physical level. But let me add that it can be mentally stimulating, as well. Many men enjoy the act of surrender or loss of control. They are used to being the penetrator, the one who controls the depth and speed. But, allowing themselves to be pegged creates an erotic feeling derived from surrender and/or assuming the role of the female.

You may also be asking yourself, “how is this pleasurable for a woman?” Well, from my experience, there is a tremendous amount of eroticism in being the one in charge. Dominating a partner, being the penetrator… both of these things provide a sense of power. And as we all know, power can be intoxicating. Furthermore, if you use a vibrator or bullet in combination with a harness, a woman can achieve a high level of stimulation during the repeated thrusting required in pegging!

If you’re interested in trying pegging, here are some things you want to keep in mind:

Communicating – Communication is key before and during pegging. Both of you should talk about what you’d like to try, or what your fears may be. This is new territory for you both! She’s never been in the role of penetrator and may need time getting used to the motion and rigor it takes to continuously thrust. He may not be used to the size of the toy, or the thrusting motion of being pegged. During your experimentation, make sure you both communicate about what he’d like more or less of, and if anything hurts. It’s ok to talk about it until you both feel comfortable!

Planning – Set aside some quality time to shop for a good harness, attachments, and lubrication. Then, make sure you have plenty of time to experiment. Being relaxed is key!! During your experimentation, GO SLOW. Rushing this is not going to work. Remember, this type of penetration requires more trust than traditional sex does. Plowing along full speed ahead can ruin the whole experience and cause your partner pain.

Preparing – Get to know your body and when you’re most “empty”. That can go a long way in keeping things clean. Your rectum is usually empty unless you really need to go. However, if you’d both feel more comfortable, cleaning the anal canal can ensure a mess-free experience. You can do this with a mild enema. Or, check out these helpful hygiene items from our online store.

Lubricating – The anus does not produce any natural lubrication. So, using a water-based, high quality lube will make things a lot easier. It will reduce friction and make any kind of anal penetration more comfortable. I suggest using System Jo’s H20 anal formula. If he’s really nervous about the pain, try using a desensitizing lubricant such as Liquid Sex’s anal formula. The numbing agent will take the edge off. But, it’s especially important to go slow and gentle with a numbing lube, as he won’t be able to feel if something is not working right.

Finding a good harness – There are many styles. But, the key is to find something that is comfortable for YOU to wear. I suggest trying on a harness, if possible. Most stores will allow you to slip one on over your panties. This ensures you have the best idea of how the harness will fit. In my experience, you want a harness that will fit very snuggly, and as flat against your pubic area as possible. This allows for maximum control as you thrust. An ill-fitting or loose harness will make it very hard for you to thrust and control the dong. Also, you want something that will not rub against your skin. Look for a harness that is made of soft, sturdy materials that is lined or padded for your pubic area. You also want something that has belt-like buckles to secure the harness. I find that Velcro is uncomfortable and not always secure. The same goes for loop buckles, which tend to slip and loosen during the action. The last thing you want is for you harness to fall off during pegging! Check out our online selection of harnesses here.

Selecting the attachment – Start with a small attachment, and then work up to something bigger. Even a small toy can make a big impact in heightening his climax. It allows him to get used to the sensation without any pain. Also, small toys tend to be easier to control and less cumbersome for her. I also suggest using rigid toys in the beginning. They also tend to be much easier to control, which will help her until she gets used to handling the dong, the thrusting motion, and maintain the dominant position.  Need ideas? Check out our anal toys online or visit us in-store for more selection!

 

G-Spot 101: A Map to Her Happy Place

How can you take her orgasms from “oh” to “OOOHHH”? By discovering her g-spot! This unique spot within the vaginal wall contains nerve-packed tissue that when stimulated properly can create intense orgasms. Set aside some time with your partner to explore this erogenous zone, and take her orgasms to a whole new level…

What is the g-spot?

The g-spot is the walnut-shaped, spongy tissue of the paraurethral gland. It’s known as the female prostate because its tissue surrounds an area that produces chemicals similar to those made by the male prostate. The actual area is only about the size of a quarter, but it feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue. Underneath the g-spot is extremely sensitive tissue that, when stimulated properly, triggers feelings of sexual happiness. It is located about one to two inches back from the vaginal opening inside the front vaginal wall.

How can I find the g-spot?

Start by spreading her legs with her knees bent, so her vagina is open and accessible. Stimulate her clitoris and get her sufficiently aroused. The g-spot will be much easier to find this way. Then, with the palm of your hand facing up, insert two fingers inside, pressing your fingertips against the center of the upper vaginal wall. Using moderate pressure, slowly rub your fingers along the wall looking for a ridged or textured area. The g-spot should feel slightly rougher than the rest of the vaginal wall. If you find it, your partner will definitely know and feel an deep arousal, or even the sensation of needing to urinate.

How can I stimulate the g-spot?

1. Tapping – The is an effective way of stimulating the g-spot without a lot of fuss. Simply use the tip of your finger to tap firmly and repeatedly on her G-spot. This slowly builds waves of sensation which can lead to an intense climax.

2. Girl on top – Activating the g-spot in missionary position is almost next to impossible. The best positions for g-spot stimulation are girl-on-top. Try traditional girl-on-top with your partner tilted slightly back, leaning away from you. Or try reverse cowgirl (read here for tips on this position). These positions work best because it forces your penis to rub against the upper vaginal wall, making the g-spot much easier to stimulate.

3. Prop up her bottom – If you are set on missionary, you must elevate her hips. The incline forces your penis to press directly into the g-spot zone! An added bonus? It also makes for maximum penetration. I suggest using one of our many Liberator ramp styles. Compared to a traditional pillow, the high-density foam of a Liberator ramp, maintains its shape, supports the body, and prevents sinking into the bed.

4. Try a toy – Take the guesswork out of finding and stimulating her g-spot. Many toys are designed to specifically to locate and stimulate the g-spot. Their curved shapes automatically put pressure on the g-spot… and the vibrations help stimulate it, too! For maximum g-spot bliss, try one of these stimulating toys:

• Sensuelle Impulse Slimline –  If you have the urge to try something new, the Sensuelle Impulse Slimline Vibe Black will exceed your expectations. It has a deceptively simple, sleek design starting with the subtle grooves and continues on to the special hook handle. Do not be fooled, as the Sensuelle Impulse has special hidden features aimed to unveil your sensuality. It has a deeply intense motor, with multi function modes, designed to create powerful sensations easily with the touch of a finger.
• Juicy Jewels Tangerine Dream – Diamonds used to be a girl’s best friend…until they tried one of these precious Juicy Jewels. Made from super-soft phthalate-free jelly, these incredible vibes deliver thrilling sensations and lasting satisfaction, in or out of water.
• Wonderland Pleasurepillar – The world of WonderLand is full of erotic surprises and satisfying delights. Get spot-on stimulation with the Pleasurepillar. A mysterious character, this playful silicone caterpillar features a g-spot curve, 10 powerful functions, and a waterproof design that will make you positively squirm with delight. You can take the fantasy with you, wherever you may go, through the looking glass and beyond!
• OVO K2 Rabbit – The German Designed K2 Rabbit from ovo is rounded for comfortable use and features a double application. The K2 is showerproof, whisper quiet and constructed of lead-free, phthalate-free, 100% body-safe silicone material. Additional features include: powerful motor; 5 programs; standard battery usage. Uses AAA cells. The K2 has been honored with a red dot design award – honourable mention 2013.
• We-Vibe 4 – Available in stores! The world’s no. 1 couples vibrator, completely redesigned for better fit, heightened intensity and more control. She wears it during sex for extra stimulation to her clitoris and g-spot. Together you both share the vibe.
• LELO Gigi – Available in stores! GIGI is a pleasure object dedicated to G-spot joy and more. Carefully sculpted to unlock the secrets of this mysterious and special place, her dramatic shape will ensure success. Five pre-programmed stimulation modes and a virtually silent vibrator engine deliver deep and vibrant sensations with spot-on precision. Her stem houses an impressively vibrant pleasure point, while the intuitive interface dial lets you control vibration intensity and stimulation mode to craft your own experience.

 

Hello, Kinky: How to Introduce a Fetish or Kink!

I am not what you would call “vanilla.” I like to do things in the bedroom that most people would consider adventurous. I often find myself holding back on my desires when I first meet someone. It’s because letting down your guard can be hard, especially when it comes to your deepest desires. So, expressing those desires to a new partner can be a little scary. Will they laugh at you? Will they slap you? Will they run off? Maybe…

But, perhaps they may get excited and entertain the idea of enjoying those desires with you. Maybe they’ve had those same desires all along. Let’s face it… almost EVERYONE has some type of kink, fetish, and at minimum, fantasy. We all have something that we think others won’t do, or may think is weird. Opening up to each other shouldn’t be so scary. It should and can be a fun process of discovery!

So, here are some tips on how to share your kinks, fetishes, fantasies, and other twists with your partner!

1) Own your kinks.

Realize that most fantasies, fetishes, and kinks are more normal than you think… then, get comfortable with that fact. If you are comfortable with your desires, your partner will be more comfortable with your desires. It’s that simple. If you pitch the idea as something out of the ordinary, it only serves to make things awkward. So, own your kink. Do not be ashamed of it.

2) Make sure your partner knows this is special for you.

Sharing a secret with someone implies trust. So, when sharing a kink, make sure you let your partner know that is it because you TRUST them with this special information. Emphasize that this is a desire you want to share only with them, that it is because you find them desirable and special. And, to further the point, make sure your partner knows that by fulfilling your desires, they become irresistible to you.

3) Show your partner examples.

This helps confirm that your kink is, in fact, fairly normal. Anal, foot fetishes, spanking, bondage, dom/sub, squirting… Yep, all pretty routine kinks. And for just about any kink, you can find a video, blog, and/or article explaining, demonstrating, or praising it. But, don’t just spring this information on them. Set aside a time to explore the kink together. Once you’ve opened up the topic, simply ask your partner if they would be open to watching a video or reading an article on the subject. If they say “yes”, give them time and space to explore the idea.

4) Don’t bring out the big guns first.

Go slow. Start small. Ease them into it. Don’t show up with a whip and a leather mask just yet… Pick something in your kink that’s not intimidating and work your way up. The more comfortable your partner gets with the kink, the more you can introduce. Plus, if you allow someone to go at their own pace, you increase the likelihood of them saying “yes” to something you want to try.

5) And finally… COMMUNICATE!

Whatever your kinks, fetishes, fantasies, or desires are, don’t hold them back from your partner. Being sexually unsatisfied isn’t fun for anyone.  So, talk about what you want… I firmly believe that with patience, communication, and respect, partners can satisfy each others desires, no matter how varied they may be!

The Joys of Reverse Cowgirl

Oh boy, do I love sex! It’s my favorite thing to do with someone I like or love. Forget movies, dinner, shows, jewelry… Instead, spend a day in bed with me, pleasing me and making me cum. I never get bored with sex. I am always trying new toys, new role plays, new tips or tricks, new games, and new positions. But, there is one thing I go back to time and time again… REVERSE COWGIRL.

Reverse Cowgirl is hands-down my favorite position for sex – for both vaginal and anal. I love being on top and being in control. So, here’s a quick primer on the position and why I love it so much!

Why Reverse Cowgirl?

• In my opinion, it’s much easier to straddle him this way. It’s because his hips support you instead of pushing you forward.
• You’re in control, so you can do whatever feels best for you. You control the speed, the penetration, and the motion!
• You have easier access to your clitoris. So stroke yourself or use a toy, which won’t be in the way!
• You can play with his testicles as you grind him.
• If you lean back a little, it’ll really stimulate your g-spot.
• Men are visual creatures. So, he gets an amazing view of your ass and can see himself sliding in and out.
• He has easier access to your ass, and can slip a finger in for extra stimulation.
• For anal, this position allows you to be in control of insertion rate and penetration depth.

The Basic Reverse Cowgirl: Have your guy lie on his back and, facing his feet, straddle him with your knees on either side of his hips.

Variation 1: Slide your legs under his, so that his legs are resting on your calves. In my opinion, this creates a tighter sensation for him, and makes it easier to move in an up and down motion.

Variation 2: Do it scissor style… In other words, swing one leg over his and keep the other in between his legs. This makes it so that you are straddling one of his legs, not both. In the scissor version of this position, you can grind your clit against his leg. This variation also seems to allow for greater penetration.

Variation 3: If it’s more comfortable, simply squat on him with your feet flat on the bed. This also creates a tighter sensation for him, and makes it easier to creating a grinding or rotating motion.

Want to spice things up even more? Try these tips…

• Use a bullet to stroke your clit as you rock back and forth. I suggest the We Vibe Tango. This small vibe is compact yet incredibly powerful and satisfying. It’ll make any cowgirl holler “YAHOO!”
• Slip in a vibrating butt plug. You’ll have that intense full feeling for a stronger orgasm. He’ll feel the vibration on his shaft. I suggest the Party Girl Plug, or any one of our other vibrating plugs.
• Have him slide a slim pair of anal beads in and out of your ass as you ride him. I suggest Shane’s World Beads with a handy retrieval ring. The ring allows him to push and pull the beads with ease… and pleasure!
•  Like nipple stimulation? Use vibrating nipple clamps for hands-free pleasure while you are on top!

Body Worship 101

About a month ago, I met someone who confided in me that they LOVE to have their balls worshipped. I asked him what he meant, what exactly he expected someone to do in order to worship his balls. He basically said he likes to have his balls stroked, licked, kissed, and squeezed as much as possible. You may be thinking, “that’s not all that unusual.” But, it’s not so much the acts, as it is the frequency and intensity by which he desired it. To him, the ball worship alone could satisfy his desires. He didn’t just want in the context of foreplay and sex. He wanted it as a stand alone act, something sustained and intense. He wanted his balls to be someone else’s complete focus. As someone who tends to lean towards the submissive side, this really got my wheels turning…

Without knowing it, I had just had my first experience with body worship…

So, what is “body worship”? According to Wikipedia, body worship is “any practice of physically reverencing a part of another person’s body, and is usually done as a submissive act in the context of BDSM.” Typical kinds of body worship include worship of the testicles, muscles, penis, vagina, or bottom. But body worship could be the complete reverence and care of any body part that you find particularly beautiful or arousing on your partner. Or, maybe it’s an extremely sensitive part of your partner’s body, such as the neck, feet, and palms of the hands.

For those in the BDSM community, you may already be familiar with the concept and practice of body worship. But, for the average Dick or Jane, you may be asking: “How can I do this in my own relationship?” As always, what works for some may not work for others. But, here are some things to get you started in body worship…

Talk to your partner… Ask your partner what areas of their body they LOVE for you to touch. This could be an erogenous zone, or simply a part of their body they enjoy having touched. For example, I do love having my clit or nipples stroked. But, my neck and the small of my back also happy to places that bring me lots of joy.

Spend some time on that spot… Once you find out where your partner would like to be worshipped, spend some time caring for that spot. Have your partner stand or lay down in front of you. Take your time admiring its beauty. Compliment your partner. Softly touch, kiss, and lick the area. Clean, massage, or moisturize that spot. Make it your complete focus for as long as your partner would like.

Need ides? Here are some spots to get you started and ideas for worshipping them…

The Back – Wash your partner’s back in the shower. Then, help them dry off. Once they are lounging on the bed, run your fingers gently up and down your partner’s back. Kiss them from the tips of the spine to the base of the neck. Grab an edible massage cream and give them a light massage. Then, lick and kiss off the cream.

The Feet – Wash your partner’s feet in a warm bath. Scrub them with an exfoliating wash, really massaging them as you go along. Then, dry them off. Have your partner sit in a chair with you at their feet. Kiss the tops and soles of their feet. Then, kiss the pads of each toe. Grab an edible massage cream and give them a light massage. Then, lick and kiss off the oil. If your partner likes it, suck the cream off their toes!

The Neck, Arms, Legs – Steal ideas from the back and feet!!

The Penis – Begin by admiring your partner’s penis. Tell him how much you love having it inside you. Describe how it feels to you when he’s thrusting away. As you talk, gently take his penis in your hands and lightly stroke it. Use a lubricant to give him a slow, meaningful hand-job. Take your time and don’t rush it. As you stroke, stop to kiss, lick, and gently suck his penis. Tell him how powerful and big he feels in your hands. Make it all about how wonderful his penis is, and about his ultimate pleasure.

The Clitoris/Labia – Begin by admiring your partner’s pussy. Tell her how beautiful it is. Describe how it feels inside, how it tastes. As you talk, gently open her lips and lightly stroke her. Use a lubricant for extra sensation. Take your time and don’t rush it. As you stroke, stop to kiss, lick, and gently suck on her lips and clit. Tell her how soft and silky she feels in your hands, how sweet she smells. If stroking is not enough, lap your tongue softly and slowly against her. The key is to go slow and to focus on the whole area, kissing and nibbling her clit and the surrounding areas. Make it all about how wonderful her pussy is, and about her ultimate pleasure.

The Bottom – Take cues from all of the areas above. And, ask your partner what their limits are! Some men and women may only like external worship such as massaging and stroking. Some men and women may be more adventurous, enjoying penetration with fingers and tongues, or licking and kissing around the anus.

In the end, this is about serving your partner and making them your entire focus. It does not need to be an act of foreplay that leads to sex. It can purely be an act of intimacy, a way to connect with each other on a deeper level. The best body worship leaves your partner feeling amazing and extraordinarily loved and special!