Sex Facts

Pegging 101: A Guide to Straight Strap-on Sex

pegging

Are you a woman who has a man that’s interested in anal stimulation? Or, are you a man who would like to be penetrated?

Believe it or not, many straight men like anal penetration – with toys, fingers, tongues, and more. Yes, it’s true! I have been with men who’ve enjoyed it and would have never dreamed of having sex with a man. Why do straight men enjoy penetration? It’s because the prostate is located inside the anal canal. The prostate is a hot-bed of erogenous sensation. At minimum, prostate stimulation feels good and can intensify orgasms. However, some men can achieve orgasm by stimulation the prostate alone.

One of the ways to stimulate the prostate is with “pegging”. Pegging is defined as “a woman using a strap-on on her male partner for anal penetration.” Essentially, you are reversing roles. In pegging, the woman takes on the role of the man, penetrating her partner from behind.

I’ve already explained how this can be pleasurable for men on a physical level. But let me add that it can be mentally stimulating, as well. Many men enjoy the act of surrender or loss of control. They are used to being the penetrator, the one who controls the depth and speed. But, allowing themselves to be pegged creates an erotic feeling derived from surrender and/or assuming the role of the female.

You may also be asking yourself, “how is this pleasurable for a woman?” Well, from my experience, there is a tremendous amount of eroticism in being the one in charge. Dominating a partner, being the penetrator… both of these things provide a sense of power. And as we all know, power can be intoxicating. Furthermore, if you use a vibrator or bullet in combination with a harness, a woman can achieve a high level of stimulation during the repeated thrusting required in pegging!

If you’re interested in trying pegging, here are some things you want to keep in mind:

Communicating – Communication is key before and during pegging. Both of you should talk about what you’d like to try, or what your fears may be. This is new territory for you both! She’s never been in the role of penetrator and may need time getting used to the motion and rigor it takes to continuously thrust. He may not be used to the size of the toy, or the thrusting motion of being pegged. During your experimentation, make sure you both communicate about what he’d like more or less of, and if anything hurts. It’s ok to talk about it until you both feel comfortable!

Planning – Set aside some quality time to shop for a good harness, attachments, and lubrication. Then, make sure you have plenty of time to experiment. Being relaxed is key!! During your experimentation, GO SLOW. Rushing this is not going to work. Remember, this type of penetration requires more trust than traditional sex does. Plowing along full speed ahead can ruin the whole experience and cause your partner pain.

Preparing – Get to know your body and when you’re most “empty”. That can go a long way in keeping things clean. Your rectum is usually empty unless you really need to go. However, if you’d both feel more comfortable, cleaning the anal canal can ensure a mess-free experience. You can do this with a mild enema. Or, check out these helpful hygiene items from our online store.

Lubricating – The anus does not produce any natural lubrication. So, using a water-based, high quality lube will make things a lot easier. It will reduce friction and make any kind of anal penetration more comfortable. I suggest using System Jo’s H20 anal formula. If he’s really nervous about the pain, try using a desensitizing lubricant such as Liquid Sex’s anal formula. The numbing agent will take the edge off. But, it’s especially important to go slow and gentle with a numbing lube, as he won’t be able to feel if something is not working right.

Finding a good harness – There are many styles. But, the key is to find something that is comfortable for YOU to wear. I suggest trying on a harness, if possible. Most stores will allow you to slip one on over your panties. This ensures you have the best idea of how the harness will fit. In my experience, you want a harness that will fit very snuggly, and as flat against your pubic area as possible. This allows for maximum control as you thrust. An ill-fitting or loose harness will make it very hard for you to thrust and control the dong. Also, you want something that will not rub against your skin. Look for a harness that is made of soft, sturdy materials that is lined or padded for your pubic area. You also want something that has belt-like buckles to secure the harness. I find that Velcro is uncomfortable and not always secure. The same goes for loop buckles, which tend to slip and loosen during the action. The last thing you want is for you harness to fall off during pegging! Check out our online selection of harnesses here.

Selecting the attachment – Start with a small attachment, and then work up to something bigger. Even a small toy can make a big impact in heightening his climax. It allows him to get used to the sensation without any pain. Also, small toys tend to be easier to control and less cumbersome for her. I also suggest using rigid toys in the beginning. They also tend to be much easier to control, which will help her until she gets used to handling the dong, the thrusting motion, and maintain the dominant position.  Need ideas? Check out our anal toys online or visit us in-store for more selection!

 

G-Spot 101: A Map to Her Happy Place

How can you take her orgasms from “oh” to “OOOHHH”? By discovering her g-spot! This unique spot within the vaginal wall contains nerve-packed tissue that when stimulated properly can create intense orgasms. Set aside some time with your partner to explore this erogenous zone, and take her orgasms to a whole new level…

What is the g-spot?

The g-spot is the walnut-shaped, spongy tissue of the paraurethral gland. It’s known as the female prostate because its tissue surrounds an area that produces chemicals similar to those made by the male prostate. The actual area is only about the size of a quarter, but it feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue. Underneath the g-spot is extremely sensitive tissue that, when stimulated properly, triggers feelings of sexual happiness. It is located about one to two inches back from the vaginal opening inside the front vaginal wall.

How can I find the g-spot?

Start by spreading her legs with her knees bent, so her vagina is open and accessible. Stimulate her clitoris and get her sufficiently aroused. The g-spot will be much easier to find this way. Then, with the palm of your hand facing up, insert two fingers inside, pressing your fingertips against the center of the upper vaginal wall. Using moderate pressure, slowly rub your fingers along the wall looking for a ridged or textured area. The g-spot should feel slightly rougher than the rest of the vaginal wall. If you find it, your partner will definitely know and feel an deep arousal, or even the sensation of needing to urinate.

How can I stimulate the g-spot?

1. Tapping – The is an effective way of stimulating the g-spot without a lot of fuss. Simply use the tip of your finger to tap firmly and repeatedly on her G-spot. This slowly builds waves of sensation which can lead to an intense climax.

2. Girl on top – Activating the g-spot in missionary position is almost next to impossible. The best positions for g-spot stimulation are girl-on-top. Try traditional girl-on-top with your partner tilted slightly back, leaning away from you. Or try reverse cowgirl (read here for tips on this position). These positions work best because it forces your penis to rub against the upper vaginal wall, making the g-spot much easier to stimulate.

3. Prop up her bottom – If you are set on missionary, you must elevate her hips. The incline forces your penis to press directly into the g-spot zone! An added bonus? It also makes for maximum penetration. I suggest using one of our many Liberator ramp styles. Compared to a traditional pillow, the high-density foam of a Liberator ramp, maintains its shape, supports the body, and prevents sinking into the bed.

4. Try a toy – Take the guesswork out of finding and stimulating her g-spot. Many toys are designed to specifically to locate and stimulate the g-spot. Their curved shapes automatically put pressure on the g-spot… and the vibrations help stimulate it, too! For maximum g-spot bliss, try one of these stimulating toys:

  • Sensuelle Impulse Slimline –  If you have the urge to try something new, the Sensuelle Impulse Slimline Vibe Black will exceed your expectations. It has a deceptively simple, sleek design starting with the subtle grooves and continues on to the special hook handle. Do not be fooled, as the Sensuelle Impulse has special hidden features aimed to unveil your sensuality. It has a deeply intense motor, with multi function modes, designed to create powerful sensations easily with the touch of a finger.
  • Juicy Jewels Tangerine Dream – Diamonds used to be a girl’s best friend…until they tried one of these precious Juicy Jewels. Made from super-soft phthalate-free jelly, these incredible vibes deliver thrilling sensations and lasting satisfaction, in or out of water.
  • Wonderland Pleasurepillar – The world of WonderLand is full of erotic surprises and satisfying delights. Get spot-on stimulation with the Pleasurepillar. A mysterious character, this playful silicone caterpillar features a g-spot curve, 10 powerful functions, and a waterproof design that will make you positively squirm with delight. You can take the fantasy with you, wherever you may go, through the looking glass and beyond!
  • OVO K2 Rabbit – The German Designed K2 Rabbit from ovo is rounded for comfortable use and features a double application. The K2 is showerproof, whisper quiet and constructed of lead-free, phthalate-free, 100% body-safe silicone material. Additional features include: powerful motor; 5 programs; standard battery usage. Uses AAA cells. The K2 has been honored with a red dot design award – honourable mention 2013.
  • We-Vibe 4 – Available in stores! The world’s no. 1 couples vibrator, completely redesigned for better fit, heightened intensity and more control. She wears it during sex for extra stimulation to her clitoris and g-spot. Together you both share the vibe.
  • LELO Gigi – Available in stores! GIGI is a pleasure object dedicated to G-spot joy and more. Carefully sculpted to unlock the secrets of this mysterious and special place, her dramatic shape will ensure success. Five pre-programmed stimulation modes and a virtually silent vibrator engine deliver deep and vibrant sensations with spot-on precision. Her stem houses an impressively vibrant pleasure point, while the intuitive interface dial lets you control vibration intensity and stimulation mode to craft your own experience.

 

Body Worship 101

About a month ago, I met someone who confided in me that they LOVE to have their balls worshipped. I asked him what he meant, what exactly he expected someone to do in order to worship his balls. He basically said he likes to have his balls stroked, licked, kissed, and squeezed as much as possible. You may be thinking, “that’s not all that unusual.” But, it’s not so much the acts, as it is the frequency and intensity by which he desired it. To him, the ball worship alone could satisfy his desires. He didn’t just want in the context of foreplay and sex. He wanted it as a stand alone act, something sustained and intense. He wanted his balls to be someone else’s complete focus. As someone who tends to lean towards the submissive side, this really got my wheels turning…

Without knowing it, I had just had my first experience with body worship…

So, what is “body worship”? According to Wikipedia, body worship is “any practice of physically reverencing a part of another person’s body, and is usually done as a submissive act in the context of BDSM.” Typical kinds of body worship include worship of the testicles, muscles, penis, vagina, or bottom. But body worship could be the complete reverence and care of any body part that you find particularly beautiful or arousing on your partner. Or, maybe it’s an extremely sensitive part of your partner’s body, such as the neck, feet, and palms of the hands.

For those in the BDSM community, you may already be familiar with the concept and practice of body worship. But, for the average Dick or Jane, you may be asking: “How can I do this in my own relationship?” As always, what works for some may not work for others. But, here are some things to get you started in body worship…

Talk to your partner… Ask your partner what areas of their body they LOVE for you to touch. This could be an erogenous zone, or simply a part of their body they enjoy having touched. For example, I do love having my clit or nipples stroked. But, my neck and the small of my back also happy to places that bring me lots of joy.

Spend some time on that spot… Once you find out where your partner would like to be worshipped, spend some time caring for that spot. Have your partner stand or lay down in front of you. Take your time admiring its beauty. Compliment your partner. Softly touch, kiss, and lick the area. Clean, massage, or moisturize that spot. Make it your complete focus for as long as your partner would like.

Need ides? Here are some spots to get you started and ideas for worshipping them…

The Back – Wash your partner’s back in the shower. Then, help them dry off. Once they are lounging on the bed, run your fingers gently up and down your partner’s back. Kiss them from the tips of the spine to the base of the neck. Grab an edible massage cream and give them a light massage. Then, lick and kiss off the cream.

The Feet – Wash your partner’s feet in a warm bath. Scrub them with an exfoliating wash, really massaging them as you go along. Then, dry them off. Have your partner sit in a chair with you at their feet. Kiss the tops and soles of their feet. Then, kiss the pads of each toe. Grab an edible massage cream and give them a light massage. Then, lick and kiss off the oil. If your partner likes it, suck the cream off their toes!

The Neck, Arms, Legs – Steal ideas from the back and feet!!

The Penis – Begin by admiring your partner’s penis. Tell him how much you love having it inside you. Describe how it feels to you when he’s thrusting away. As you talk, gently take his penis in your hands and lightly stroke it. Use a lubricant to give him a slow, meaningful hand-job. Take your time and don’t rush it. As you stroke, stop to kiss, lick, and gently suck his penis. Tell him how powerful and big he feels in your hands. Make it all about how wonderful his penis is, and about his ultimate pleasure.

The Clitoris/Labia – Begin by admiring your partner’s pussy. Tell her how beautiful it is. Describe how it feels inside, how it tastes. As you talk, gently open her lips and lightly stroke her. Use a lubricant for extra sensation. Take your time and don’t rush it. As you stroke, stop to kiss, lick, and gently suck on her lips and clit. Tell her how soft and silky she feels in your hands, how sweet she smells. If stroking is not enough, lap your tongue softly and slowly against her. The key is to go slow and to focus on the whole area, kissing and nibbling her clit and the surrounding areas. Make it all about how wonderful her pussy is, and about her ultimate pleasure.

The Bottom – Take cues from all of the areas above. And, ask your partner what their limits are! Some men and women may only like external worship such as massaging and stroking. Some men and women may be more adventurous, enjoying penetration with fingers and tongues, or licking and kissing around the anus.

In the end, this is about serving your partner and making them your entire focus. It does not need to be an act of foreplay that leads to sex. It can purely be an act of intimacy, a way to connect with each other on a deeper level. The best body worship leaves your partner feeling amazing and extraordinarily loved and special!

How to get your girl to swallow!

It’s the age-old question – do you spit or swallow? It’s on every guy’s mind. It’s the one thing they need to know before considering having sex with you. The answer could easily sway their opinion of you. Swallow? You could be his dream girl. Spit? He’s on the fence for sure!

I swallow. I know… it’s a radical idea. A girl that swallows?! Say what?! Well apparently, less than 30% of women swallow. I had no idea I was so special. I’ve been single a while and the question comes up from time to time in conversation. When I tell a guy that I swallow, this little light bulb goes off above their head. Or, they get a wicked gleam in their eyes. I can see the hamster wheel spinning… I can hear their internal voice whisper, “this girl is a keeper!”

Well, fellas… Have you ever thought about WHY I might be so rare? Why is it that so few women want to swallow your junk? A lot of it has to do with how you treat her and how you taste. It’s really as simple as that. So, stay tuned, and read away… If you follow these simple steps, your girl might be more likely to swallow!

1. RECIPROCATE – That’s right… reciprocate. If you are not willing to go down on your girl, then why should she be willing to take a load of your cum? So, if you want your girl to be more receptive to oral, give her more oral. She’ll be more likely to please you, if she is being pleased.

2. CLEAN YOURSELF – Make sure your parts are fresh and clean. A pair of sweaty balls is not the most appetizing thing in the world. Shower or freshen up before foreplay. Even a quick wipe down with a warm washcloth can go a long way. All sweaty and gross? Skip foreplay altogether!

3. EAT RIGHT – Eating kiwi, plums, blueberries, cranberries, watermelon, pineapple, and celery will lighten the taste of your cum. Beer and coffee will make your cum taste bitter. Dairy products can produce putrid tastes. So, watch what you eat! Sweeter cum is easier to swallow. Just sayin’!

4. SWEETEN THE DEAL – Cum can be hard to swallow. It’s thick and pasty. It doesn’t exactly taste great. So, sweeten the experience for her. Incorporate sweet foods like chocolate covered strawberries or champagne. After she swallows, feed her a bite of the berry and a sip of the bubbly! It’ll wash away the taste, and it’ll be romantic!

At the end of the night, whether she swallows is not a measure of how much she enjoys being with you, or her worth as a partner. If your girl simply can not swallow, don’t pressure her. And don’t be offended! Find other ways to enjoy the blowjob. You could always, pull out and cum on her chest. That’s got to be just as hot, right?! Give my advice a shot. But, if you’re load is still too much to swallow, don’t worry! You’re still getting a blowjob. Beggars can’t be choosers!

Be Smooth, Play HARD: Glass, Ceramic, and Metal Sex Toys

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When you think of sex toys, you probably envision the traditional dildo or dong… a brightly colored, rubbery toy that’s easy to fling around and use as a weapon (if you’re feeling silly). And truth be told, despite the often humorous appearance of these toys, they can feel really amazing when used for pleasure. Many of them even have life-like appearances and feels. Good ones can come pretty close to mimicking the real deal. And if you add in vibrations, rotating beads, and rabbit-heads? Well, watch the fuck out! You’re definitely going to have a good time or two… or four…

But have you ever craved something different? Have you wanted to try something a little edgier? Or, maybe your body doesn’t like the traditional toys. You get yeast infections, or are allergic to the materials…

Well, I have a sexy solution for both of those problems – glass, ceramic, and metal sex toys!

Let me tell you about the more erotic benefits first:

  • To begin with, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are extremely hard, unbreakable in fact. And they tend to be heavy. The hard and heavy nature of these toys creates an entirely different sensation, compared to traditional toys, when used vaginally or anally. And they tend to have more heft, and therefore pressure, in the orifice of choice!
  • Traditional toys have much more friction due to their rubbery surface. Glass, ceramic, and metal toys are completely smooth. Their smooth surface has almost zero friction. The in-and-out sensation is more like a glide. This makes them perfect to use as anal toys because the reduced friction makes for easier penetration.
  • Unlike traditional toys, glass, ceramic, and metal toys can hold heat and cold. Pop them in ice water or warm water, and you’ll have an instantly different feeling!

And what about the health benefits?

  • Unlike traditional toys, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are non-porous. This means they will not hold onto bacteria like traditional toys. So, if you are prone to yeast or bacterial infections, these are the perfect toys for you!
  • Many people are allergic to the materials of traditional toys. Glass, ceramic, and metal toys are free from silicone, rubber, latex, and phthalates!

And then there are the practical benefits:

  • You can use any type of lube with these types of toys. Plus, their smooth surface means you can use less lube, AND the lube will last even longer than on traditional toys.
  • They are extremely durable and will last forever. The materials won’t degrade and there are no parts to break!
  • Also, glass, ceramic, and metal toys are extremely easy to clean. You can just pop them in the dishwasher!

Curious and want to try out a glass, ceramic, or metal toy? Let me suggest a few of my favorites…

Metal Worx Slim Fave – This is a luxurious, metal, dual-ended pleasure probe. Cast in high quality steel and hand-polished to perfection, this all-in-one exciter is perfect for vaginal or anal play and equal parts art and pleasure. The hygienic metal finish is sleek, non-porous, and easy to clean, while the design is body-inspired and made to excite.

Icicles #7 – Hand-crafted with amazing attention to detail, this luxurious glass massager will leave you breathless. This glass wand is sleek, unique, and made to play hard. And, the pleasure bubbles will glide effortlessly against all the right places!

Don Wands Real Tip Rocket Blue – Beautiful to look at, fun to play with! This realistically shaped glass toy will never lose it’s erection!

Overall, glass, ceramic and metal toys are a highly erotic, body-safe, AND an exciting way to add something new to your sex life! So, don’t be shy… Give one of these toys a try! I promise you won’t be disappointed!

Sexy New Year’s Resolutions for 2014

It’s that time of year again… The Holidays are drawing to a close. The year is almost over. And, we are all gearing up for New Year’s Eve celebrations.

If you are like most people, you’re thinking of resolutions for the new year. Even if you don’t call them resolutions, we all promise ourselves that we’ll do something differently in the coming year. This year, skip the promises to eat right, exercise more, drink less… Make resolutions you’ll actually keep! Research has shown that the more you want it, the more likely you are to keep a resolution. And what do we all want more than anything? HOT SEX!!

So, here are my sexy New Year’s resolutions for 2014:

1. Be more spontaneous – Don’t forget the old adage: where there is a will, there is a way! When the mood strikes you, make it happen. But don’t just make this about spontaneous sex… include random kisses, hugs, groping, and compliments. All of these things will make your sex life sexier!

2. Try new things – As much as possible, experiment with new positions in the bedroom. Or, try new toys or play accessories. Hell, thinking of new places to have sex can spice things up. And here’s a way to help you keep things new and exciting: write all the new things you want to try on little slips of paper, then throw them in the jar. As often as possible, draw one from the jar and make it happen!

3. Communicate – Seems simple, right? Well, most people do not talk to their partners about what they want and need. Make this your year to open up about sex and tell them what you like, how often you want it, and why you like it!

4. Get kinky – Being kinky doesn’t mean you have to delve into the BDSM lifestyle. But, adding a little bit of kink can go a long way to having sexier sex in the new year. Haven’t watched porn together? Do it. Want to try some bondage? Buy some silk rope. Never role-played? Buy the school girl outfit.

5. Stop making excuses – Headaches, lack of time, lack of desire… we all have excuses for why we don’t have sex. But, even a little foreplay can go a long way in making you happier and your relationship stronger. So, find the time to please and be pleased.

6. Be intimate – Sex does not equal intimacy. But, the more intimate you are with each other, the more you’ll want sex, and the more fulfilling it will be. So, take warm showers with each other, snuggle, hold hands, massage each other, hug… Anything that brings you closer together is well worth the effort and will make for a better 2014!

Need more reasons to have more sex in 2014? Check out this related article from CNN, about the benefits of having sex: New Year’s resolution: Have more sex. Turns out that sex is good for you! So, if you wanted to be healthier in the new year, have more sex!!

Here’s to a happy, healthy, prosperous, and sexy 2014!!

The Case for Masturbation Over Casual Sex…

I don’t often post things from a serious perspective. But, I’ve got some things on my mind that I wanted to share… Just stick with me!

You may not know it from my thoughts and musings, but I am a monogamous, 30-something, single mom. I bet you never would’ve guessed that I would be posting blogs for a sex shop. But, I happen to know a LOT about sex because I’ve always had very adventurous partners. In fact, my friends always call me a “monogamous freak”. It fits. So, trust me when I post something. I know what I am talking about… usually… unless it’s like, bestiality or necrophilia or something… NOT MY THING!!!

I think I’ve made the point before that I am very selective about who I have sex with, due to being a monogamous, 30-something, single mom… (and well, there’s this post that explains some more things about me). I have to be careful – for my child’s sake. In my opinion, I have to stay healthy and whole in order to be a good parent. And therefore, I do not risk my physical or emotional well-being for sex’s sake. I’m not a prude. Don’t get me wrong – I have slipped up from time to time and  have had sex outside of a relationship. I just think it’s dangerous territory for me. So, I don’t do it. It’s never gone right. I end up disappointed because of the sex.

Why? Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… It does not equal love. It does not make up for the things you lack in life. It only feels good while you’re doing it. And it can be downright disappointing physically and/or emotionally, if it’s not done right!

Sex feels good. Oh yes, it does! When your lover circles your pussy with his cock, then plunges in after what seems like forever, it feels like heaven on Earth. It’s like, the best thing EVER! And sex is good for you, too. It relaxes you. It has a bunch of proven health benefits, like headache and blood pressure reduction. Hell, it even burns calories!! Shit… forget your diet and have sex 4 times a day! You’ll look and feel awesome. But, I know that in order to feel good about my own sexual decisions, I have to feel good about the person I am being intimate with… When I don’t feel good about it, I always end up regretting it.

I bet you’re wondering at this point, “why is she even posting this? What a buzz kill!!” Right? I am writing this because I want you to remember you are a bar of gold. You are a valuable commodity. You’re body is your temple, and you do not want to disrespect your temple. Repeat after me… Sex is just a temporary physical act… STD’s can be forever. Dick-bag boyfriends, or crazy girlfriends, can cause permanent damage. Is that temporary feeling of ecstasy worth it? Sometimes, it might be worth it. Sometimes…

For all those other times, fuck yourself. Masturbate. Take care of your own business. Hell, I know there have been times where I WISH I had masturbated instead of hooking up, either because the sex was lame or the emotional impact was too draining. Listen to me!!! Liberate yourself by taking charge of your own sexual pleasure. Why?

  • Masturbation will put your needs first
  • Masturbation will never give you an STD
  • Masturbation will never cheat on you
  • Masturbation will always let you cum first
  • Masturbation will never lie to you
  • Masturbation will never hurt your feelings
  • Masturbation will never waste your time
  • Masturbation will never make promises it can’t keep

Need more reasons? Here’s scientific reasons to pass on the meaningless sex and stick with the self-pleasure:

  • Masturbation helps you sleep
  • Masturbation relieves cramps and stress
  • Masturbation has been shown to prevent prostate cancer and alleviate UTI’s
  • Masturbation boosts your immunity
  • Masturbation has been shown to improve your mood
  • Masturbation tones pelvic and anal muscles
  • Masturbation lowers Risk Of Type 2 Diabetes

So, skip the dick-bags and the crazy bitches from time to time. Instead, check out our selection of solo toys and make yourself happy!

For the boys – Click Here!  For the gals – Click Here!

 

For the Ladies: The Do’s and Don’t of Casual Sex

Casual sex can mean different things to different people… In general, men have an easier time of separating sex from emotional connections. So, they can have sex casually without ever forming any attachments. Sex to them is simply a pleasurable recreational activity. To put it bluntly – They can hit it and quit it.

On the flip side, most women confuse sex with love. Why? It could be because women release the powerful hormone oxytocin during orgasms. Scientists believe that oxytocin causes women to create a strong emotional ties to sexual partners. So for this reason alone, my post is directed more towards my female audience.

Ok ladies… here are the dos and don’ts of casual sex to keep you in line and to avoid being hurt:

1. Be honest with yourself before you have casual sex. Why are you doing it? What do you want from it? If you are aware of your feelings, you can avoid potential hurt by having casual sex for the wrong reasons.

2. Be straightforward. Let whomever you have sex with know that it is for sex’s sake only.

3. Be realistic. Don’t get emotionally attached. THIS.IS.JUST.SEX. It will not develop into a relationship. It’s just physical fun. Remind yourself of this constantly!

4. Be safe. Use condoms and run background checks. Don’t take him home… People lie. They lie about their health. They lie about being “good guys”. The last thing you want from a little fun is an STD, a stalker, or worse… like being stuffed in a trunk!!

5. Don’t expect to be wined and dined. This is not dating. It is not about getting to know one another. It’s JUST SEX!

If you think you can handle it, casual sex can be a fun source of sexual release. You can be as wild and adventurous as you like! You can be as sexy as you want! Just be safe and be real.

Just a Taste… By Medusa

Aphrodite, the ancient Greek god of sexual love and beauty, introduced the concept of aphrodisiacs to help enhance our desire, excitement, stamina, and performance. Aphrodisiacs work via our senses, including sight, smell, touch, sound, and taste. Finding which sense is most enticing gives you a chance to further explore your sexuality and create more fulfilling and bold sexual experiences. And, I’ve discovered my favorite type of aphrodisiac…

I’m something of a foodophile. I feel sexually aroused by consuming or being in contact with food… not junk food, but fresh, beautiful, healthy food! And, no I’m not humping asparagus or pineapples. Like seeing your main squeeze, I get giddy about food. A tingling, light-headed sensation flows over my body. My skin becomes flushed. My eyes get big. My heart rate increases. Even my nipples become erect! Mmm… Its time to devour this plate of yummy goodness!

I have an affinity for certain foods – seafood, fresh fruits, and spices like cayenne pepper really get me going. The smells lifting from a honey-glazed salmon doused with lemon zest can send me to another place… like laying on the warm sands of my favorite beach with my partner as the sun sets and we inhale the ocean breeze. Biting into a ripe, fuzzy peach, licking the sweet juice dribbling from my lips? This sends me into the sweet memories of my first kiss. Sipping hot chocolate with a dash of cayenne pepper? My body warms up, like the sensation I get from being entangled in a deep, Winter embrace with the one I love.

I guess you could say my love for food and sexual intimacy go hand in hand for me. I’ve noticed that excitement for savory delights follow me into the bedroom. These foods can make me feel energized, alluring, alive…

After realizing these goodies have become profound aphrodisiacs for me, I spoke with my partner to see if we could incorporate a few  food items in bed. He agreed. Enthralled by the opportunity of getting my two loves together in one room without a table, I ran for the kitchen grabbing our favorites. Honey, chocolate syrup, and various fruits were gathered for the adventure. I blindfolded my partner and placed one cold strawberry on his lips. We took turns with the blindfold, placing each treat delicately on each others bodies, licking away the delicious residue they left.

The next morning we were sticky… VERY sticky. The night before had been a dream filled with luscious flavors and my lover. Why did I have to wake up sticky?! One word – sugar. Everything had sugar in it! We stuck to the bed sheets and each other. My fantasy turned into an infants high-chair.

The next day I went into work determined to find alternatives that would be equally as intoxicating, but mush less messy. There, I found a magical land of decadent oils, lubricants, gels, and even honey dust! Overjoyed by the treasure chest of options, I tested as many edibles as possible. Tasting the products that mirrored my favorite flavors and scents, I chose one oil, one lubricant, and one honey dust. Then, I prepared myself for a smooth, sensual, stickiness free evening! Not only was our evening less messy, it was more enjoyable. Using flavored intimate products is much better for your body, more hygienic. Also, the flavoring increase your salivary response, which will increase the natural lubrication you need for all oral pleasures.

One of our most sensually pleasing brands is Kama Sutra. This luxury brand of intimate products supplies a host of edibles – flavored massage oils, candied body dusts, savory and sweet lubes, and rich and creamy body soufflés. Only the gift of love itself could be more intoxicating than these tasty delights.

Another of our sensual menu items? All of the flavored lubes from System Jo… These high-quality, water-based lubricants come in such a huge variety of flavors. You’ll feel like the proverbial kid in a candy store! Chocolate, pomegranate, raspberry, lemon, tropical fruit, cherry, strawberry, banana, cherry… Something for every palate… and every body part.

Want to expand your own menu? Check out our edible lubes, oils and lotions, and more!

Sexual Fantasies and XXX Daydreaming

So, I am 100% pro-fantasy. In fact, if you could read my mind, you’d see I fantasize a LOT! Sometimes, it’s like there’s a XXX movie playing in my head. I’m a creative person. Maybe that’s why I’m constantly coming up with scenarios for my sex life. It frustrates Mr. Big, my partner. I’ve heard him say on more than one occasion, “It’s like the Rolling Stones, honey… we can’t play all our greatest hits in one night!!!” Bless his heart. I think I exhaust him…

I know not all of my fantasies can or will come true. But, it never hurts to dream… right?

Like for instance, I was in training the other day and this cute, butch woman was leading the training. What did I do? I spent part of the class fantasizing about pussy grinding… PUSSY GRINDING. What did I take away from the class? That I want to pussy grind as soon as possible. I want to find a hot woman, get naked, and rub against her. Yep.

Or, the other night, Mr. Big was talking about watching the series OZ, a prison drama that HBO produced a decade ago. What did I do? I started fantasizing about some big, buff prison thug making my lover his bitch. In this fantasy, I am the prison warden, watching it all play out, waiting for my turn with the billy club…. Mr. Big was not entirely thrilled with my fantasy, but he was amused.

What’s wrong with these little mini-pornos running through my mind from time to time? Well, other than not having enough time, energy or partner, there’s nothing wrong with a little fantasizing!

Everyone has sexual fantasies, from the mundane to the down right freak-a-licious! Think about it… Most of you have had fantasies about having sex in a public place like a bathroom or the hood of a car. Lots of you have had fantasies of threesomes or watching your partner have sex with someone else. A lot of women fantasize about girl-on-girl. We’re human. We daydream. And, fantasies are healthy. They can increase your arousal during sex. Plus, fantasies allow you to do things you would not do in real life, and the outcome is always positive. It’s a win-win!

So, you don’t want to keep daydreaming like me? Then you may be asking yourself, “how do I make my fantasies come true?” I can’t tell you a step-by-step for every fantasy you may have. There’s honestly not enough blog space for just MY fantasies. And, keep in mind that I am not a licensed couple’s counselor, nor a sex therapist. But, I can help you open up the dialogue with your partner. Here’s my advice:

Test the waters – Start by showing your partner a porn with a scenario you’d like to act out. Then, ask them what they think of that scenario. Your partner should be pretty honest with you about it under those circumstances, and you’ll be able to gauge whether revealing more is a possibility. You could also present your fantasy as a wild dream you had and see how your partner reacts. Or, ask them to visit a sex shop with you and see what they gravitate towards.

Ease it into conversation SLOWLY – I think it’s best to start small. In my opinion, you should never go for a full reveal if you don’t think your partner is that adventurous. In other words, if you want to reveal your ideas, don’t do it all at once. You may intimidate, scare, or alienate your partner by rushing things. If you think your partner is open to a threesome, ask them what would turn them on about the fantasy. Getting them to open up to you will make it easier for you to discuss your ideas.

The theme here is communication! You honestly will never know unless you ask. Once you begin having these conversation with your partner, you open the door to a greater level of sexual creativity between the two of you!