Sex Facts

Things You Didn’t Know About Porn

Porn is more prevalent than ever. In the last 15 years, the number of adult websites has increased a whopping 600% – from 70,000 websites to over 4.2 million. In fact, about half of the internet is made up of porn or porn related content. Wow! That’s a lot of porn… and it’s proof positive that porn is a successful and thriving industry. As a whole, the sex industry is the most profitable industry in the world – surpassing retail, technology and the entertainment industry. Just to give you an idea of the scope of porn, around 13,000 adult videos are produced each year. In total, these films gross over $13 billion dollars in profit. In comparison, Hollywood released only 507 movies last year and made only 8.8 billion in profit.

So, here’s an interesting look at the industry and things you may not have known about porn:

1. According to a recent analysis, “creampie” and “MILF” are the most porn related search terms in the US. However, “teen” is the most searched term across the globe.

2. There are over 68 million daily searches for porn in the United States. This accounts for about 25% of all daily searches.

3. Male porn stars make far less than female porn stars. The average male porn star makes between $50 – $1500 per scene and generally are not paid royalties. However, men who do gay porn make three times the amount they would normally make in straight porn. By comparison, female porn stars can make up to quarter of a million dollars a year.

4. Jenna Jameson is the wealthiest porn star ever. Her net worth is around $30 million thanks to her web presence and sex toys collection.

5. The gang bang world record is held by Lisa Sparxxx who had sex with 919 men in one day. The world record for a “reverse gang bang” is held by Jon Dough, who had sex with 101 women in one day.

6. Research shows that while viewing porn, men do not focus on the breasts or genitalia. Instead, they prefer to focus on a woman’s face, particularly her eyes and lips. In contrast, women who are not on a hormonal birth control will focus on the genitalia. Women on hormonal birth control focus more on the scenery.

7. Christmas Day is the least popular day of the year to view porn. Sundays are the most popular day to view porn. And a recent study shows that most porn viewing occurs between the hours of 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

8. Wicked Pictures in the only porn production company that requires the use of condoms in their films. The remaining production companies deem it “optional”. And those who want to use condoms are less likely to be employed in films.

9. At any given moment, it’s estimated that 30,000 people are watching porn. To meet the vast demand, a new porn video is produced every 39 minutes.

10. Studies around the world have shown that countries with the easiest access to hardcore pornography also have the lowest sex-crime rates.

11. By their early 20’s, nearly 9 out of 10 (87 %) young men report having watched porn. Only 1 in 3 (31%) young women report having watched porn.

12. Research shows that boys begin watching porn at around age 10 or 11. Furthermore, the largest consumer group of internet porn is boys between the ages of 12-17.

Old-Fashioned Sex Advice Revisited

Sixty years ago, a woman’s pleasure was a thing to be whispered about. Sex outside of marriage was shameful. Sex toys, or anything other than missionary, were for cheap girls and harlots. We’ve certainly come a long way when it comes to adventurous sex. Porn is mainstream. Adult stores are big business, no longer back alley establishments. And movies like “50 Shades of Grey” have inspired women everyone to try a little BDSM. But should we completely discard old-fashioned beliefs about sex? Let’s take a look…

Old-fashioned Tip #1 – Your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego. Morale is a woman’s business.

This isn’t bad advice. Appreciating and complimenting your man builds up his confidence. And confidence is good for the bedroom. The more you praise his manhood and his efforts, the more he’s going to want to please you.

Old-fashioned Tip #2 – If you are one of those frigid or sexually anesthetic women, don’t be in a hurry to inform your husband about it.  To the man it makes no difference in the pleasurableness of the act whether you are frigid or not, unless he knows that you are frigid.  And he won’t know unless you tell him, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Uhm, wrong. This one is definitely wrong with a capital “W”. A man knows if you are not enjoying yourself. And, if you are not enjoying himself, chances are it will ruin some part of the act for him. Can he still get off and orgasm even if you’re bored to tears? Yes, probably. But, can it also affect his performance and make it less pleasurable? Definitely. Only a major asshole doesn’t care if you are bored and miserable. So, throw this advice out the window and talk to your partner about what you do and don’t like. If he doesn’t want to listen and please you, ditch him!

Old-fashioned Tip #3 – Underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying, but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford.  And the color should be preferably pink.  And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man.

This one has some merit to it. Not all men like lingerie or fancy underwear. But if you want to feel sexy… and you want him to see you as sexy… make sure whatever you’re wearing is in good shape, flattering, and preferably in a color you or he loves. No one is sexy is undies with stains or holes in them. So, I am not talking about always wearing satin and lace. You can still be sexy in cute cotton bras and panties. And the color doesn’t have to be pink. According to my research, men prefer black or white.

Old-fashioned Tip #4 – While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured.

Say what? No. Just no. This is one old-fashioned sex tip I can’t believe exists! Sex should never be revolting or painful. If it is, you’re doing it wrong! Even when you want it to be painful, that should come from a place of pleasure, because you find that enjoyable.

Old-fashioned Tip #5The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

Problem #1 with this tip… Sex no longer has to be enjoyed under the confines of marriage. Problem #2… If you are married, lessening the frequency of sex is bound to take its toll on your relationship. In fact, married couples should work hard to stay committed, keep things fresh, and try to have sex as much as possible. Distancing yourself from each other sexually is a fast track to divorce. Don’t let kids, work, and life get in the way of being intimate with each other.

Old-fashioned Tip #6A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.

Oh, quite the contrary my friends! Being naked has many benefits to your health AND makes you want to have sex more often. How? It increases your circulation and improves your confidence – both of which have been proven to increase sex drive and sexual pleasure!

While we may learn from the past in most other circumstances, sex doesn’t seem to be one of them! Thank goodness we’ve come so far so that we can cum so far. I’ll take modern sex any day of the week!

XOXO, Bella

Electro-Sex… It’s SHOCKING!

shock stuff

Have you ever heard of Erotic Electro-stimulation? I didn’t think so… But it’s not something a mad scientist does!

According to Wikipedia,  Erotic Electro-stimulation is “a human sexual practice involving the application of electrical stimulation to the nerves of the body, with particular emphasis on the genitals, using a power source for purposes of sexual stimulation.” In other words, you’re shocking parts of your body for sexual pleasure.

Yeah… It’s not for everyone. I know. But, if done right, it can add an exhilarating new dimension to your sex life. You’re probably asking yourself, “WHY would anyone do that?!?!” Well, an electric current can stimulate nerve endings and involuntary muscle stimulation in erogenous areas. So basically, it’s an intense activation of the erotic nerves, which can be an extremely pleasurable experience. Some people also use electro-stimulation for S&M play. It’s an interesting way to explore the pleasure/pain boundaries. However, it has much fewer risks and lasting physical damage when compared to more traditional BDSM practices. That’s because it can be precisely controlled and does not leave physical marks, bruises, etc.

Want to learn more about the types of stimulation and safety precautions? Read here: A Guide to Erotic Electrostimulation

Think you’re ready to experiment? Try these stimulating novelties from the RedDoor:


shock therapy kit Fetish Fantasy Deluxe Shock Therapy Kit – Give your sex life a “charge” with this incredible deluxe electro-sex kit. This electric stimulation Shock Therapy Kit is perfect for first-timers and those familiar to e-stimulation alike. The easy-to-read LCD screen on the digital power control unit clearly displays the function and intensity level, and with 3 pre-programmed pulsation patterns to choose from, this attractive control unit sends electrical impulses to whichever body part you place the pad on. Choose from a sensuous tingle to a throbbing tap, all with the push of a button, and pick one of the 5 body zones to stimulate. With over 100 stimulation combinations to choose from, the possibilities are endless. Choose a setting on the power unit’s dial to control the intensity and go from a sensuous tingle to a throbbing tap in seconds. Switch between “SLOW” or “FAST” to control the frequency of the shock, or adjust the dial to control the strength of the shock. Using the timer function, the battery-powered unit will automatically shut off after a 15 minute interval. The pads are self-adhesive and reusable, attach to the lead wire using snaps, and clean up easily after the fun with PipeDream Toy Cleaner and warm water. Great for muscle stimulation, neural stimulation, and an all-over relaxing electro massage! Includes nipple clamps, cock cage, and a probe, Too!



WeVibe Thrill – Winner of 5 international awards, Thrill by We-Vibeis designed for indulgent solo play. The G-spot stimulator provides internal fullness and friction, while the clitoral vibrator delivers external stimulation. With the touch of a button, you can choose the mode that matches your mood — from a low rumble to ultra vibrations. Thrill by We-Vibe is made with body-safe materials, including medical-grade silicone, and is 100% waterproof. It also features USB charging and 90-minute recharging for 2 hours of play.



Intensity By Jopen – The JOPEN Intensity is the first sex toy built around a new patented technology created for a completely different application. It began when two medical professionals created a unique apparatus to strengthen women’s pelvic floor muscles. During the tests Jopen Intensity women began reporting intense orgasms and sexual joy like never before Created, designed, tested, perfected and manufactured 100% in the USA Inflatable Shaft for Custom Fit Dual Stimulating Electro Contacts to enhance pelvic contractions G-spot and Clitoral Vibrators 5-Level Vibration Control.


41MbPLGxR8L__SY300_KinkLab Neon Wand Electrosex Kit – The Neon Wand® is a popular device from Kinklab’s ElectroErotic® line that creates an electrical discharge across the surface of the skin. The electricity produces sensations over a broad range, from a pleasurably warm tingling, to a more intense, focused sensation that some find painful. The level of sensation created by the wand can be controlled both by a multi-level intensity dial on the wand itself, and also by which electrode you choose to use. The Neon Wand kit comes with 4 different glass attachments (Electrode Comb, Mushroom Tube, 90° Probe, Tongue Tube) that will be a thrill to experiment with. The kit color refers to the color of the light glowing in the glass electrodes. Kits are available in purple or red.

What Is Sexy? Part 2

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog entitled, “What Is Sexy?” I asked my readers to let me know what they find sexy in a partner, outside of the usual ways like long legs and red hair. Here’s what you said…


“Confidence is sexy. Know what you want and ask for it– very few people can read your mind. Have a healthy enough self-esteem to accept redirection; ie. if something’s not working for me, I want to be able to say so without worrying about my partner getting a complex. It’s sexy when they have the confidence to just try a different angle/position/whatever instead of dwelling upon the fact that I didn’t enjoy one or two moves they made. Body confidence is sexy, too. Be comfortable with your naked body no matter the size or shape. (Hey, if you’ve got someone willing to get naked with you, they are interested! Stop thinking about the jiggly parts and move onto the fun.)”

“Sexy comes from within, and outlasts what people see on the outside….looks eventually fade.”

“My husband would say confidence. No matter what you think of yourself, your weight, etc. It will kill a mood to be anything less than confident. Skip the pity party! And him excepting all my flaws is definitely super sexy!”


“A smart man really gets me going. I need that mental stimulation.”

“A girl with a brain, who can challenge me.”


“Someone who is creative and flexible, willing to try new things and think outside the box…”

Sense of Humor…

“A man who can laugh out loud. Like really laugh and enjoy himself.”

“Some who is funny really turns me on – a witty comeback or playful jab…”

Mental Connections…

“It’s digging on someone who is totally mentally connected to you. ”

“Someone who has common interests and goals…”


“[Someone] who knows you and loves you despite your faults and fuck ups. Who knows that your past makes you who you are now and not who you were. THAT’S what makes my panties moist!”

“Unconditional love… loving me despite my flaws…”

Facial Hair…

“I find men with beards sexy. Not that fu man chu crap that hangs down but a trimmed Grizzly Adams type beard. I like chest hair and a tuft of hair above the butt crack on a mans back. Moderately hairy legs too. I dig it when my hair flows on a mans body while being intimate.”

“A woman with long locks… I don’t care the color. I just like to run my fingers through long hair.”


“I find it extremely sexy to see a father involved with his children.”

“Someone who loves my kids as much as I do…”

Kindness and Positivity…

“A man that is kind and loving to animals.”

“A laid back, but positive attitude… a gentleness and a romantic soul.”

The Everyday Stuff…

“Sexy is simple, everyday stuff. I LOVE to watch a man shave with shaving cream. Electric razors just don’t do it. The act of shaving is very manly to me. And tying a tie. Just that simply thing is fascinating to watch (because it is a dang complicated knot) and so very masculine.”

Masturbate! It’s Good For You!

bedMasturbation… solo time… stroking the kitty or spanking the monkey…

No matter what you call it, there is nothing wrong with taking the time to pleasure yourself. It feels good and is a great alternative to casual sex (Read the related blog, The Case for Masturbation). Plus, masturbation allows you to get to know your body and explore what turns you on. But, did you know that masturbation has actually been shown to have health benefits? Read below to find out more awesome reasons to spend time masturbating!


Masturbation has been shown to help prevent prostate cancer. Studies have found that men who ejaculated more than five times a week were 30% less likely to develop prostate cancer.

Masturbation keeps you harder. Regular masturbation strengthens your pelvic floor muscles. This is turn helps to prevent erectile dysfunction and incontinence.


Masturbation relieves cramps. It increases blood flow to the pelvic area, which eases pain.

Masturbation alleviates urinary tract infections. It helps flush out bacteria from the cervix, providing much-needed relief to UTI sufferers.

Masturbation improves your ability to orgasm. If you discover what you need to orgasm on your own, you’ll have an easier time during sex. As they say, practice makes purpose. It also strengthens muscle tone in the your pelvic floor, which can lead to better sex.


Masturbation boots your immunity. Orgasms release the hormone cortisol. Cortisol is small doses helps to regulate and maintain your immunity.

Masturbation boosts your mood. It releases dopamine and oxytocin, chemicals that lift your spirits and improve your mood.

Masturbation helps you sleep. It lowers blood pressure and produces endorphins, the chemicals responsible for helping ease stress and increase relaxation.

Masturbation can relieve head and muscle aches. Orgasms release oxytocin, which is a natural pain reliever!

Masturbation is safe sex. In fact, it’s probably the safest kind of sex there is! There’s no risk of pregnancy or STD’s.



Check out our masturbation toys for GIRLS and BOYS! We have all kinds of fun things to make your solo time the best it can be! So, stop by the RedDoor and start feeling great!

What Is Sexy? Part 1

What is sexy? That is a loaded question. If you look up the word “sexy” in the dictionary, you’ll find a general definition such as this…

sexy capture

Usually, we tend to go with the first definition having to do with allure and attractiveness. But, if you dig deeper, many us will ultimately describe “sexy” in ways that more closely represent the second definition.

Take this as a case in point… I recently had a conversation with a group of my girlfriends about things that turn us on. In the beginning, our answers ranged from things like sexy arms or green eyes. The more we talked, the more the answers changed to things like our partners doing the dishes or mowing the lawn, or to them telling quirky jokes or always opening doors. The further we got into the conversation, the more the answers turned from how someone looks to how someone treats us, or how our partners act around us. In fact, we talked at length about the various things our partners did that we found appealing, that made us feel cared for, or that made our partners unique. We went well beyond a nice ass and brawny shoulders.

So, I decided to embark on a journey. I want to know “What IS sexy?” I am reaching out far and wide to compile definitions of sexy, from all perspectives – men, women, parents, LGBT, etc. I want to hear from friends, fans, and readers of this blog. I want to know what YOU find sexy, beyond the predictable answers of a nice smile or buff abs.

To begin the series, I though I would share a few thoughts on what others have found sexy in me… ya know, to get the ball rolling! I don’t mean this to be an ego stroke. I just wanted to set the tone and hopefully inspire my readers to explore the topic with me…

Typically, as someone gets to know me, they stick to the traditional “sexy” compliments – my breasts are full and round and lovely, my kisses are deep and passionate, my legs are long and shapely, my booty is ample and easy to grab. But as time goes by, my sexy changes. It becomes my husky voice, the way I laugh out loudly and sometimes snort, my honesty and straightforwardness, my sly sense of humor, my confidence in my body despite my weight, my adventurous spirit in life and in bed, my cooking skills, my big-hearted nature, and my intelligence. In fact, most men that I have dated have listed my smarts as the top thing they find sexy about me.

So now it’s your turn! I want to hear from YOU! Tell me, in your own words – What is sexy? Comment below or email us at




Aphrodisiacs You Can Eat!

As long as we’ve been around, humankind has concocted ways to improve their sex lives. One of the more unusual methods has been the use of aphrodisiacs. From rhino’s horn to cobra blood to steeped skink flesh, cultures around the world have tried various potions and strange brews in hopes of stirring their loins into a frenzied passion. In reality, much of the success of aphrodisiacs comes from the power of suggestion, as there is little medical evidence to prove their effectiveness.

Despite this, there are foods that you can consume that will not only make you healthier, but may also improve the body systems in charge of your sex life! To help you sort out the quackery from the truth, I’ve researched popular aphrodisiacs around the world. The list below is made up of foods that have been shown to improve sexual health and well-being. Read up, dine, and enjoy!


Chocolate – Sweet, decadent, and velvety, chocolate contains phenethylamine, a stimulant released in the brain as we fall in love. Chocolate also contains and tryptophan, which helps to produce serotonin, a brain chemical associated with sexual arousal. Furthermore, chocolate has been shown to spike the levels of dopamine in the brain, which induces feelings of pleasure.

Pomegranates – Often associated with fertility, pomegranates have been found to increase testosterone in both men and women. And more testosterone equals increased sexual desire. The ruby-red fruit has also been shown to help with erectile dysfunction.

Beets – Long been considered an aphrodisiac in many cultures, beets are a natural source of tryptophan and betaine. Both of these chemicals promote feelings of well-being and relaxation. Beets also contain high amounts of boron, a trace mineral that increases the level of sex hormones in the human body.

Honey – A symbol of fertility and procreation in some cultures, honey contains boron, which may regulate hormone levels, The sweet syrup also contains nitric oxide, which is released in the blood during arousal.

Oysters – The aphrodisiac of the sea, oysters contain amino acids that trigger production of sex hormones. Oysters also contain tons of zinc, which can help increase a man’s sperm count.

Chili Peppers – The red-hot peppers stimulate endorphins (the brain’s feel good chemicals), speed up heart rate and make you sweat, which all mimic how you feel when you’re aroused.

Bananas – The phallic-shaped fruit triggers testosterone production, and more testosterone equals increased sexual desire.

Watermelon – Juicy and sweet, watermelon is packed full of lycopene, which has been shown to have a Viagra-like effect, as it relaxes blood vessels and improves circulation.

Olives and Olive Oil – A symbol of virility for the Greeks, olives and their oil are a good source of monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats, which are critical for a healthy heart, blood flow and hormone production.

Strawberries – The red, heart-shaped fruits are packed full of vitamin C, which helps keep blood flowing to all parts of the body. Double their sexy powers by dipping them in chocolate!

Alcohol – In moderation, alcohol can put you in the mood, as it lowers your inhibitions and helps you to relax. But go easy on the booze! Too much alcohol can restrict sexual performance in both males and females.

Pumpkin Pie – Believe it or not, this Thanksgiving staple has been shown to be an effective aphrodisiac. The scent of the pie has been shown to increase penile blood flow by 40% and to increase sexual desire in women!

Penis Size: Does it matter?

There’s been a lot of talk about penis size in the news lately. This is thanks to recent research that indicates women prefer bigger penises and that penis size affects attractiveness. In other words, the research found that a bigger dick makes a man more attractive to women. But before we label all women “Size Queens”, let’s take a minute to be real…

To begin with, the average erect penis ranges in size from 4.7 to 6.3 inches. Research shows that 85% of women are satisfied with that amount. “Satisfied” is the key word here. The majority of us are OK with average penises. Who is not satisfied with penis size? MEN. In the same research study, it was found that only 45% of men are happy with their penis size. So, my question is: Who is really more concerned with penis size? Not women, but men!!

So what are most women really concerned with when it comes to penises? In one word – girth. In several research studies, it was found that women actually prefer thickness over length. In one study, it was shown that women achieve vaginal orgasm much easier with greater penis girth. Why might this be? More girth means greater pressure against the g-spot. The g-spot is packed full of erogenous nerves and provides a large amount of sexual stimulation when rubbed or pressed. So, a penis with average to above average girth is going to be a girl’s best friend.

From experience, I agree with this theory. I prefer a penis that’s about 6-7 inches long, but that is above average in girth. I am not talking Coke can girth, but more juicy cucumber girth. Why? Greater girth provides more sensation and fullness. You can have a long dick. But if it’s pencil thin, it’s not going to be pleasurable to me. It’s not going to hit all the good spots. I don’t know about other women, but I don’t consider my cervix to be a good spot. It can be uncomfortable for a penis to hit it repeatedly. But, my g-spot? That’s an AWESOME spot… and only a penis with decent girth is going to rub that sucker!

Need further convincing? Let me tell you some of the reasons why I personally don’t like really huge dicks…

  1. I like anal… and if you have a BIG dick, that’s a no-go! Anyone with well above average length or girth can just stay away from my back door. Why? Despite what porn says, having a huge thing shoved in your ass isn’t all that pleasant. That’s right – big dicks make anal too painful for the average woman. The rectum is not stretchy like the vagina. There’s only so much you can get in there without tearing, bleeding, or other not so fun kinds of damage.
  2. Girl on top… This position becomes difficult with larger dicks because there’s only so deep you can go. The average vagina is only about 3-4 inches deep. If you have an 8″ penis, I cannot sit on that. It’s more like I have to hover over it. Think about it. It’s just not all that pleasurable for me.
  3. Blowjobs… Yes, some people like to be gagged when giving head. In fact, I sometimes like to be gagged when giving head. But, the average mouth has a depth of only 4″. So when giving a blowjob to a huge dick, you can only take so much into your mouth. And I personally don’t want 4″ of cock being shoved down my throat. That’s too much gag!!! Plus, you’ll get lockjaw.

Maybe you are a man with average length and girth. Maybe you are not entirely convinced that it’s ok, that women will be satisfied with your package.  You may be asking yourself: “what can I do with my average penis?” The answer is… EVERYTHING! If you are a man of average length and girth, count yourself lucky. The skies the limit. Your penis will work well for oral, vaginal, and anal!

And one final thought… Only 20% of women experience vaginal orgasms. Why is this important? Because while we enjoy intercourse, the best way to make us happy is through other means than your penis. Your penis may be huge. But if you can’t make us cum, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how big your dick is…




Yes, HARDER! (or my thoughts on pleasure and pain)


Believe it or not, there is a “Kinky Scale” when it comes to BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism). The scale was created by Dr. Charley Ferrer in 2007. Dr. Ferrer developed the scale to “provide a general idea of where [someone falls] within the world of dominance and submission.” (, Oct. 22, 2013)  It ranges from 0 to 6, 0 being the most “vanilla” and 6 being the most “kinky” (see scale below).

Kinky Scale: 0 to 6

  • 0 – Totally vanilla, no desires nor dreams/fantasies
  • 1 – Dreams/fantasizes about it but doesn’t interact
  • 2 – Interacts in it, whether Dominant or submissive, on a compartmentalized basis
  • 3 – Fully embraces BDSM as part of their relationship and over 50% of their interpersonal/intimate relationships have a BDSM foundation/component (mixing D/s & vanilla)
  • 4 – 24/7 Master/slave interactions with their partner (over 75-80% of their interaction is D/s though vanilla interactions may be mixed in.)
  • 5 – Extreme BDSM practices (edge play)
  • 6 — Criminal sadist

To read more about the scale, click here.

If I had to pick a hard and fast number on the Kinky Scale, I would call myself a “2”. For the most part, I prefer the submissive role and like to keep my BDSM play confined to the bedroom. I like relenting, releasing control, being told what to do… in the bedroom! I don’t want to be a slave, however. I don’t have the patience to completely submit. I am what some of my Dom friends call a “brat”. I was once in a relationship where I was more of a “3”, but it didn’t work for me in the long run. I prefer my BDSM as a bedroom activity, but not much more.

When it comes to the S&M (Sadomasochism) part of BDSM, I would also say that I am a “2”, bordering on a “3”. I enjoy pain more than most people. I can actually tolerate quite a bit of pain. But, I am not actively seeking pain. And, I don’t want to do anything that could really bruise me or break my skin and make me bleed.  For example, I like to be spanked and man-handled. I like a firm bite that makes me wince, but not bleed. I like having my hair pulled on pretty hard. I don’t mind the pain of anal. And, I even don’t mind being belted, paddled, or flogged… just hard enough to make me notice and wince, but not hard enough to make me use a “safe word”.

In the past year, I became single after ending my “3” relationship of four years. I began the wild and not-so-wonderful world of dating. And, I decided to be frank about what I like and want and need. I am almost 40 years old. At this point, you just have to be yourself! Why waste time pretending to be someone you’re not? Why waste time on someone who isn’t going to give you what you want and need? It makes no sense. So, I embarked on dating with the intent to be as honest as possible about my sexual preferences without coming off as being crazy.

What I discovered was most men my age are solid 0’s when it comes to BDSM. They had no interest in or desire to try anything related to BDSM. Occasionally, I’ve met a few 1’s. They like to think about spanking or dominating a woman, but perhaps have been too scared to try. Or, maybe they just haven’t found the right woman with which to experiment. However, whenever I tell them about my BDSM likes, 0’s and 1’s alike always have 2 responses: they’d feel uncomfortable hurting someone, and they want to know why I like it.

Let me address the first statement… Do not feel uncomfortable with hurting me. I am asking you to hurt me. I WANT you to hurt me. And sometimes, I NEED you to hurt me to get me off. When I say “harder”, I mean “HARDER” and I will let you know if it’s too hard. I promise you that if you are doing anything outside of my comfort-zone, I will let you know immediately. Furthermore, I am not going to just jump into this. I want to get to know anyone before I let them experiment with me. I want to have conversations about it, so that we are both on the same page. We’re never going to do something if I don’t know you and trust you. If I trust you to hurt me, then know that it’s OK.

As for why I like it… I honestly don’t have a clear answer. Nothing happened to me as a child that caused me to have deep psychological issues where I desire punishment. It’s not that. I don’t really want to be punished, anyways. I think it’s just that I am a sensual person. I like anything to do with the senses. I like color and sound, art and music. I love tastes and smells, decadent foods and luxury perfumes. I like touch, sensual and soft, or hard and quick. So for me, a fast, hard smack on the ass ignites my senses. It lights up my body and keys me in to all the sensations of sex. A strong pull of my hair makes me hyper-aware that you’re thrusting inside me from behind. In other words, the pain heightens my pleasure. I don’t think that’s so hard to understand. All that aside, it’s just fun for me. I like to keep things interesting in the bedroom. I like variety. So, throwing in some BDSM every now and then adds the spice I need.

And, sometimes… I am just a naughty girl who needs a spanking. 😉


May is for Masturbation Challenge!

masturbation month

International Masturbation Day is an annual event celebrated on May 7th to protect the right to masturbate. The first National Masturbation Day was first observed on May 7th, 1995. It was created in honor of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was fired by President Bill Clinton for suggesting masturbation be a part of sex education curriculum for students. Since then, International Masturbation Day has been expanded to include the entire month of May, known as International Masturbation Month!

At the RedDoor, we love masturbation! We encourage you to celebrate International Masturbation Month as often as possible during the month of May. Why? Whether you’re single, or just need a little alone time without your partner, masturbation is a great way to release sexual energy. Aside from being fun, masturbation has also be proven to be good for you! It can boost your immunity, relieve stress, help with sexual function, and may even reduce risks of cancer. For some great tips on masturbation, click here.

And in honor of International Masturbation Month, here’s a fun Masturbation Challenge to inspire and stimulate you! See how many you can check off the list…

  • Masturbate to porn
    Masturbate in the shower
  • Masturbate in the car
  • Masturbate at work
  • Masturbate without your hands
  • Masturbate outside
  • Masturbate with someone watching
  • Masturbate using an anal toy
  • Masturbate at a party
  • Masturbate in the bathroom of a restaurant
  • Masturbate in the bathroom of a bar
  • Masturbate first thing in the morning before getting up
  • Masturbate while reading erotica
  • Masturbate in the kitchen
  • Masturbate laying next to some who’s masturbating
  • Masturbate, record a video, and send it to your partner
  • Masturbate with a vibrating toy
  • Masturbate with the shower head
  • Masturbate, but don’t cum
  • Masturbate with your underwear on
  • Masturbate with your clothes on
  • Masturbate to a nude magazine
  • Masturbate to a picture of your favorite star
  • Masturbate with a warming lube or gel
  • Masturbate with a cooling lube or gel
  • Masturbate with a pillow

Got a idea for the challenge? Comment below! Need inspiration? Visit the RedDoor online!