Humor

Tricks and Treats: Sex Toys for Halloween!

Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday. What’s not to like? Playing dress-up, candy, bonfires, spooky stories, and fun to be had at any age… The only thing that would make it better would be goblins leaving you presents under your pumpkin. And, Halloween is the perfect time to add some new tricks and treats to you sex life. Check out our spook-tacular toys that are perfect for creating howls and screams.

1. Candy, candy, candy – Halloween is all about tons of candy! Why not sweeten things up? We’ve got edible body paints, candy undies, chocolate body dust and more. Dive in here.

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2. Masks – Forget the sheet with two holes cut-out for your eyes… Grab a devilish looking hood or mask for some scary good times.

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3. Costumes – Halloween is the best time of year to play dress-up and become someone else for the night. Our role-playing costumes are the perfect treats for your BOO.

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4. Mad Science – Play the evil doctor and create some thrilling shocks with our electro-stim toys. Your lover will shriek with delight.

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5. Spine-tingling chills – Want to send shivers down their back? Pop one of our glass toys into ice water.

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6. Spiderwebs – Play the black widow. There will be no escape from pleasure when you catch your prey and get tangled up in our bondage restraints.

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7. Magical potions – Don’t be a basic witch. Brew up some screams with our sexy lotions and potions.

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Creep it real this Halloween. If you’ve got it, haunt it. And don’t be afraid to scare up some of these sexy Halloween tricks and treats!

Fun Sex Toys!

Usually, sex jokes and gag gifts are reserved for Dirty Santa games or Bachelor/Bachelorette parties. You know… inflatable goats, boob sunglasses, hopping penises, and such. But fun toys like these don’t have to be limited to special occasions. Sex should be fun. It’s ok to laugh and get silly. And throwing a little humor into your life can reduce tension and nerves around trying something new.

So here are some fun and silly toys from our collection, found in-store and online at the RedDoor!

1. Clone-A-Willy Glow Kit – Designed by a doctor, it’s a complete kit that perfectly copies a mans own penis in super realistic, glow-in-the-dark rubber. Each kit comes with easy to follow instructions and includes everything necessary to produce an EXACT rubber copy of any penis!

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2. Mini Mini Monkey Vibe – No need for a banana with the Mini Mini Monkey; theres plenty of stimulation in store for your clitoris from this vigorous variable speed vibe. Free of phthalates and toxins, its low maintenance and discreetly portable. Ready to swing? Just switch on the monkey and enjoy.

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3. X-Rated Beer Pong – X-Rated Beer Pong Inflatable Drinking & Dare Game for adults only. Beer Pong Game Sink It, Drink It! Then do it! Crack open a couple cold ones and get ready for the naughtiest, nastiest game of Beer Pong ever imagined! We have taken the hottest craze around college towns – Beer Pong – and combined it with one of the most classic hook-up games of all times X-Rated dirty dares!

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4. Penis Pokey – This book contains no nudity. No profanity. No sexual material of any kind. And yet it just might be the most obscene thing we’ve ever published! Penis Pokey is an illustrated board book with a large die-cut hole in its center. Every spread features a dazzling full-color illustration with one thing missing a banana, perhaps, or a fire hose, or a sea serpent. Male readers can complete the illustrations using the talents God has given them. Are we serious? Yes! Is this funny? Absolutely!

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5. Paco’s Taco Stroker – Make self-love more fun with Paco’s Taco, an ultra-soft open-faced stroker that puts pleasure in the palm of your hand! Reusable with Paco’s “Sauce” lubricant included, Paco’s Taco satisfies every time – simply open the box, liberally apply our “sauce”, and wrap around your “meat.” Second and third helpings are encouraged!

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6. Fleshlight Alien – The ultimate alien fantasy has landed. The new Fleshlight Alien is an unworldly experience that will abduct your penis and send it spiraling through in a real milky way! Use the Alien for the ultimate in E.T. ecstasy. The exclusive Alien texture combines the feel of three of our most popular textures to create one out-of-this-world experience. Tantalizing sinews swirl together mimicking our famous Vortex canal before breaking through to a Lotus node that finally gives way to our most intense texture, the STU.

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7. Wonderland Kinky Kat Cock Ring – Follow this buzzing kitty into a world of fantasy and pleasure. The Kinky Kat C-Ring features a removable clitoral bullet with push-button control and 10 intense functions for clitoral stimulation during sex. You will fall in love with this cock ring for its regal look, storybook design, and the grinning cat at the tip that was just made for teasing. This playful kitty wants to see you smile!

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8. Flirt Finger Tingle Bunny – Let your finger do the flirting. Adorably cute, cleverly shaped, mini silicone reuseable finger vibe. Made of 100% medical grade silicone and phthalate free ABS. Feel the waves of strong vibration all the way through to the tips of the bunny ears! Great for clitoral or body stimulation. Use one on each finger tip for an experience to remember.

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Old-Fashioned Sex Advice Revisited

Sixty years ago, a woman’s pleasure was a thing to be whispered about. Sex outside of marriage was shameful. Sex toys, or anything other than missionary, were for cheap girls and harlots. We’ve certainly come a long way when it comes to adventurous sex. Porn is mainstream. Adult stores are big business, no longer back alley establishments. And movies like “50 Shades of Grey” have inspired women everyone to try a little BDSM. But should we completely discard old-fashioned beliefs about sex? Let’s take a look…

Old-fashioned Tip #1 – Your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego. Morale is a woman’s business.

This isn’t bad advice. Appreciating and complimenting your man builds up his confidence. And confidence is good for the bedroom. The more you praise his manhood and his efforts, the more he’s going to want to please you.

Old-fashioned Tip #2 – If you are one of those frigid or sexually anesthetic women, don’t be in a hurry to inform your husband about it.  To the man it makes no difference in the pleasurableness of the act whether you are frigid or not, unless he knows that you are frigid.  And he won’t know unless you tell him, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Uhm, wrong. This one is definitely wrong with a capital “W”. A man knows if you are not enjoying yourself. And, if you are not enjoying himself, chances are it will ruin some part of the act for him. Can he still get off and orgasm even if you’re bored to tears? Yes, probably. But, can it also affect his performance and make it less pleasurable? Definitely. Only a major asshole doesn’t care if you are bored and miserable. So, throw this advice out the window and talk to your partner about what you do and don’t like. If he doesn’t want to listen and please you, ditch him!

Old-fashioned Tip #3 – Underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying, but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford.  And the color should be preferably pink.  And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man.

This one has some merit to it. Not all men like lingerie or fancy underwear. But if you want to feel sexy… and you want him to see you as sexy… make sure whatever you’re wearing is in good shape, flattering, and preferably in a color you or he loves. No one is sexy is undies with stains or holes in them. So, I am not talking about always wearing satin and lace. You can still be sexy in cute cotton bras and panties. And the color doesn’t have to be pink. According to my research, men prefer black or white.

Old-fashioned Tip #4 – While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured.

Say what? No. Just no. This is one old-fashioned sex tip I can’t believe exists! Sex should never be revolting or painful. If it is, you’re doing it wrong! Even when you want it to be painful, that should come from a place of pleasure, because you find that enjoyable.

Old-fashioned Tip #5The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

Problem #1 with this tip… Sex no longer has to be enjoyed under the confines of marriage. Problem #2… If you are married, lessening the frequency of sex is bound to take its toll on your relationship. In fact, married couples should work hard to stay committed, keep things fresh, and try to have sex as much as possible. Distancing yourself from each other sexually is a fast track to divorce. Don’t let kids, work, and life get in the way of being intimate with each other.

Old-fashioned Tip #6A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.

Oh, quite the contrary my friends! Being naked has many benefits to your health AND makes you want to have sex more often. How? It increases your circulation and improves your confidence – both of which have been proven to increase sex drive and sexual pleasure!

While we may learn from the past in most other circumstances, sex doesn’t seem to be one of them! Thank goodness we’ve come so far so that we can cum so far. I’ll take modern sex any day of the week!

XOXO, Bella

What Is Sexy? Part 2

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog entitled, “What Is Sexy?” I asked my readers to let me know what they find sexy in a partner, outside of the usual ways like long legs and red hair. Here’s what you said…

Self-Confidence…

“Confidence is sexy. Know what you want and ask for it– very few people can read your mind. Have a healthy enough self-esteem to accept redirection; ie. if something’s not working for me, I want to be able to say so without worrying about my partner getting a complex. It’s sexy when they have the confidence to just try a different angle/position/whatever instead of dwelling upon the fact that I didn’t enjoy one or two moves they made. Body confidence is sexy, too. Be comfortable with your naked body no matter the size or shape. (Hey, if you’ve got someone willing to get naked with you, they are interested! Stop thinking about the jiggly parts and move onto the fun.)”

“Sexy comes from within, and outlasts what people see on the outside….looks eventually fade.”

“My husband would say confidence. No matter what you think of yourself, your weight, etc. It will kill a mood to be anything less than confident. Skip the pity party! And him excepting all my flaws is definitely super sexy!”

Intelligence…

“A smart man really gets me going. I need that mental stimulation.”

“A girl with a brain, who can challenge me.”

Imagination…

“Someone who is creative and flexible, willing to try new things and think outside the box…”

Sense of Humor…

“A man who can laugh out loud. Like really laugh and enjoy himself.”

“Some who is funny really turns me on – a witty comeback or playful jab…”

Mental Connections…

“It’s digging on someone who is totally mentally connected to you. ”

“Someone who has common interests and goals…”

Acceptance…

“[Someone] who knows you and loves you despite your faults and fuck ups. Who knows that your past makes you who you are now and not who you were. THAT’S what makes my panties moist!”

“Unconditional love… loving me despite my flaws…”

Facial Hair…

“I find men with beards sexy. Not that fu man chu crap that hangs down but a trimmed Grizzly Adams type beard. I like chest hair and a tuft of hair above the butt crack on a mans back. Moderately hairy legs too. I dig it when my hair flows on a mans body while being intimate.”

“A woman with long locks… I don’t care the color. I just like to run my fingers through long hair.”

Fathers/Stepfathers…

“I find it extremely sexy to see a father involved with his children.”

“Someone who loves my kids as much as I do…”

Kindness and Positivity…

“A man that is kind and loving to animals.”

“A laid back, but positive attitude… a gentleness and a romantic soul.”

The Everyday Stuff…

“Sexy is simple, everyday stuff. I LOVE to watch a man shave with shaving cream. Electric razors just don’t do it. The act of shaving is very manly to me. And tying a tie. Just that simply thing is fascinating to watch (because it is a dang complicated knot) and so very masculine.”

Lessons From A Breakup!

Back in October, I wrote a piece entitled “Sexy Ways to Survive Your Break-up!” At the time, I was the one doing the breaking up. So, I felt confident and sexy and ready to be single. It felt natural to have fun and be free. I mean, I was out of a bad relationship and wanted to be happy! But for this blog, things are different. I was the one dumped. Yes, dumped. It’s such an awful word. It implies that something was wrong with me and that I had to be gotten rid of. But, the truth is, sometimes things just don’t work out for one reason or another…

Let me give a little background info. I began dating someone around the end of March. We’ll call him “Kevin”. Kevin seemed like a very nice guy. He was a gentleman, appreciated my curves, and was not intimidated by my openness and sexuality (at least not that I know of). Things seemed to be going well. We enjoyed each other’s company and the sex was decent enough, though lackluster. Everything was ok in my mind. Then out of the blue, Kevin stopped communicating with me. I texted him out of concern and got a text in return explaining that I was being dumped. Yep, a text. No explanation for the change in behavior. No explanation as to what happened. Needless to say, I was a LOT surprised.

So here I am, feeling a bit bruised and confused. I’m wondering what it is I can do to make things better. I’m also wondering what lessons I can take away from the situation. So, I re-read my original blog  “Sexy Ways to Survive Your Break-up!” I wanted to see if there is a different take now that I am the one who is on the shit end of this stick. And, this particular tip really stood out to me:

5. Learn from it.

Learning from your mistakes is sexy. Why? Because knowing your needs and wants makes you a more confident person, and therefore a sexier person. Next time, you’ll know more about what you do and don’t want/need. You’ll look for someone who is interested in fulfilling your desires, as much as they are interested in having theirs fulfilled. You won’t settle for less. That knowledge confidence, and power is all extremely sexy!

WOW! I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but… that is pretty powerful advice. It’s really smart advice! And we’ve all heard that the sexiest organ in our bodies is our BRAINS. So, I wanted to expand on that kind of sexiness and give my readers some smart lessons I learned from my break-up. Any time you think smart and act smart, you’ll definitely feel confident and sexy!

1. Listen to your gut next time…

Throughout the whole relationship with Kevin, I felt in my gut that something was off. I didn’t quite get the feeling he was 100% into me. I didn’t quite get the feeling he was ONLY seeing me. Even though he said he was monogamous with me, I really don’t think I was the only woman he was involved with. Trust me… there were red flags that pointed to this. I just ignored them. So, one of my smart tips is to go into a relationship with eyes wide open. Don’t let sex and romance cloud your judgment. Pay attention to red flags. And if your instincts are telling you something is wrong, go with your gut and trust your inner alarm bells!! You’ll feel a LOT sexier after a break-up if you don’t feel foolish and used.

2. Don’t settle for less than you want and need…

I was in a long-term relationship before I met Kevin. The guy I was with was very compatible with me in terms of interests, hobbies, and sex. We had an adventurous sex life and I was never bored. In short, we always had fun with each other. But, he lacked a level of affection and emotional depth that left me feeling more like a friend with benefits, and less like a girlfriend or partner in life. Kevin, however, was extremely affectionate and present. He communicated with me every day, did things for me around the house, and always paid for everything. However, we had ZERO in common and the sex was only s0-s0.. To put it simply, he was not that much fun to be around. We seriously lacked that friendship component that I feel is essential for a successful relationship. While I understand you’re not going to find everything you want in one person, you still shouldn’t settle! Having your needs and wants met is sexy. Having the confidence and security to hold out for someone who can meet most of your needs and wants is sexy. Being in a relationship where you feel fulfilled will certainly make you feel sexy, too!

3. Respect yourself and be a bar of gold…

I love, love, love sex! I’m almost 40 and I want it all.the.time. Masturbation is ok. But, it just doesn’t get the job done for me. It leaves me wanting more, more, more than some batteries can provide. So, I tend to jump quickly into sex with a new romantic interest. I mean, the sex wasn’t that great. It was vanilla and predictable, and I often didn’t get to finish before he did. But if you’re horny like me, even mediocre sex is better than masturbation. That certainly made it harder to see red flags. I feel like I let the regular sex cloud my judgment. I let my sexual needs keep me from seeing I was being misled… by Kevin AND by myself! I used to be ok with casual sex and friends with benefits arrangement. Yet, this time I felt used. It’s a gross feeling…  Despite this, I have begun to feel something pretty incredible about myself… I am a bar of gold. My body is a treasure. I shouldn’t just give it away so quickly and easily. If you are ok with casual sex, go for it. But for me, recognizing my worth is much, much sexier!

I know this a departure from my typical blogs. But, I am on a journey… a sexy journey. And, this was a stop along the way… I’ll resume my normally scheduled freak-tastic blogs shortly! 🙂

For more tips on how to feel sexy, check out my blog “Bringing your sexy back!”

And with that…

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Laugh… it’s just SEX!

I am a bit of a goofball and a klutz. I snort when I laugh. I trip over my own feet. I frequently add “that’s what he said” to the end of my friend’s sentences. In short, I am a total dork. So when it comes to my sex life, imagine it to be something like the bloopers reel from a porno. There are usually mishaps and sometimes a bit of downright silliness.

Obviously, I am very adventurous and can really get into some kinky shit. But, I also don’t take sex too seriously. Let’s face it… the things we do during sex can be a bit funny. There have been many times I have laughed during sex. At minimum, I always find something to giggle about. Why? Sometimes positions that sound fun end up a bit awkward and you don’t know what goes where. Sometimes someone farts. Really, anything can happen.

In my case, I’ve even rolled off the bed! It’s true! Recently, my partner made me cum so hard that I lost control of myself and fell out of the bed. Yep… right out of the bed and straight onto the floor with a loud thud. I was trying to roll over onto my back, but didn’t realize I was so close to the edge of the bed. I tried to recover by holding onto the comforter. But, I was spent from the sex, dizzy and fuzzy-headed from such intense pleasure. So, I just said “fuck it” and let myself fall. Real sexy stuff… And his words to ease my embarrassment? “Anything done at the moment of orgasm is excusable.” It’s that kind of attitude that we all need to have during sex… that it’s a playful, fun experience! That anything can happen and we just need to roll with it. Read on…

In my early 20’s, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He had attempted to make the room romantic by lighting candles all around the bed. It was beautiful and had the intended purpose. We started to have sex and I got lost in the passion of the moment… until I noticed a candle fall onto the bed near my head. My boyfriend was deep in thought when I breathlessly whispered, “the bed is on fire.” He said, “I know, baby… we’re on fire.” Realizing that he did not understand what was going on, I yelled, “THE BED IS ON FIRE.” He yelled back, “YAY BABY, ON FIRE”, and increased the speed of his thrusts. Finally, I pushed him off and yelled, “NOOOO! The bed is actually on FIRE!” He tamped out the smoldering sheets with a pillow.

After my divorce, I had a friend with benefits. We were hot and heavy in some intense sex. He was fucking me from behind and had been for quite a while. He was sort of leaning on me. Being a man of larger stature, the pressure on my back-end began to cause my legs to grow uncomfortable. Suddenly, my calf began to spasm with a leg cramp. I honestly couldn’t stand the pain and basically spontaneously donkey-kicked him off of me.

Another time, with another boyfriend, my legs went numb. He was a football player type and had me in a position that resembled a wrestling hold. It cut off all circulation in my legs! The sex was hot and I wasn’t really paying attention to the loss of sensation in my extremities because I had so much sensation going on elsewhere. Well, when we were done, I rolled to the edge of the bed and attempted to stand up. Yeah, I fell down. I couldn’t feel my legs and hit the floor.

After all of these moments, I just ended up laughing. My partners did, too. It’s sex! It’s supposed to be fun, even when it isn’t perfect.