Laugh… it’s just SEX!

I am a bit of a goofball and a klutz. I snort when I laugh. I trip over my own feet. I frequently add “that’s what he said” to the end of my friend’s sentences. In short, I am a total dork. So when it comes to my sex life, imagine it to be something like the bloopers reel from a porno. There are usually mishaps and sometimes a bit of downright silliness.

Obviously, I am very adventurous and can really get into some kinky shit. But, I also don’t take sex too seriously. Let’s face it… the things we do during sex can be a bit funny. There have been many times I have laughed during sex. At minimum, I always find something to giggle about. Why? Sometimes positions that sound fun end up a bit awkward and you don’t know what goes where. Sometimes someone farts. Really, anything can happen.

In my case, I’ve even rolled off the bed! It’s true! Recently, my partner made me cum so hard that I lost control of myself and fell out of the bed. Yep… right out of the bed and straight onto the floor with a loud thud. I was trying to roll over onto my back, but didn’t realize I was so close to the edge of the bed. I tried to recover by holding onto the comforter. But, I was spent from the sex, dizzy and fuzzy-headed from such intense pleasure. So, I just said “fuck it” and let myself fall. Real sexy stuff… And his words to ease my embarrassment? “Anything done at the moment of orgasm is excusable.” It’s that kind of attitude that we all need to have during sex… that it’s a playful, fun experience! That anything can happen and we just need to roll with it. Read on…

In my early 20’s, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He had attempted to make the room romantic by lighting candles all around the bed. It was beautiful and had the intended purpose. We started to have sex and I got lost in the passion of the moment… until I noticed a candle fall onto the bed near my head. My boyfriend was deep in thought when I breathlessly whispered, “the bed is on fire.” He said, “I know, baby… we’re on fire.” Realizing that he did not understand what was going on, I yelled, “THE BED IS ON FIRE.” He yelled back, “YAY BABY, ON FIRE”, and increased the speed of his thrusts. Finally, I pushed him off and yelled, “NOOOO! The bed is actually on FIRE!” He tamped out the smoldering sheets with a pillow.

After my divorce, I had a friend with benefits. We were hot and heavy in some intense sex. He was fucking me from behind and had been for quite a while. He was sort of leaning on me. Being a man of larger stature, the pressure on my back-end began to cause my legs to grow uncomfortable. Suddenly, my calf began to spasm with a leg cramp. I honestly couldn’t stand the pain and basically spontaneously donkey-kicked him off of me.

Another time, with another boyfriend, my legs went numb. He was a football player type and had me in a position that resembled a wrestling hold. It cut off all circulation in my legs! The sex was hot and I wasn’t really paying attention to the loss of sensation in my extremities because I had so much sensation going on elsewhere. Well, when we were done, I rolled to the edge of the bed and attempted to stand up. Yeah, I fell down. I couldn’t feel my legs and hit the floor.

After all of these moments, I just ended up laughing. My partners did, too. It’s sex! It’s supposed to be fun, even when it isn’t perfect.

Fun Things to Do with Lube!

Check out our extensive selection of System Jo lubes!

Lube is always a great addition to your sex life. It can be used to enhance the pleasurable sensations of sex and masturbation. Lube can also aid with vaginal dryness or discomfort. Plus, it can provide flavor during oral sex, which also increases salivation. And when used with condoms, lube increases pleasure for both partners and decreases the risk of condom breakage. Want to know more? Read here to discover all the fun you can have with lube!

• Spread a warming lube like Wet’s Warming Gel on his balls. Then, give him oral while lightly massaging his balls.
• Slip a few drops of lube inside his condom before he slips it on. The added sensation will feel amazing for him.
• Slick up any of your sex toys or vibes with a water-based lube like Pjur’s Woman Aqua Gel. Then, hand the toy over to your partner to use on you!
• Put a few drops of warming lube on your hands. Then, give him a slick hand job he’ll never forget.
• Drop some warming lube into a masturbator like a Climax Gem Stroker. Then give him a life-like masturbation experience!
• Spread a strawberry-flavored lube on his cock and lick it like a lollipop. Try Sex Tart’s Strawberry Punch lube for a true candy taste!
• Slick lube on your boobs. Then, slide your boobs up and down his back for a super hot massage!
• Spread warming lube between your ta-tas. Then, gently guide his penis in and out of your cleavage.
• Give each other a sexy back massage using a few drops of a massage glide such as System Jo’s Warming Massage Glide. Glides are an all-in-one lube that act as a massage oil AND personal lubricant!
• While you go down on him, lube up your thumb and use it to massage the spot between his balls and rectum.
• Drizzle a flavored lube on your labia and clitoris and have your partner lick it off while trying to guess the flavor.
• Spread cooling lube like System Jo’s H2O Cooling lube on your fingers. Then, use them to massage each others nipples. You can also blow on them for an added sensation!
• Tell your partner they can only use their hands on you. Spread a few drops of lube on their hands and let them go at it.
• Lay a towel down on your bed. Then, cover your bodies in a silicone lube such as Liquid Sex Silicone. Finally, enjoy the erotic sensation of sliding up and down each other’s bodies while you get it on.
• Keep a small bottle of lube hidden behind the shampoo for spontaneous wet fun! We suggest Sex in the Shower Lube, which is specially formulated for sex in water!

Got a fun idea to share? Let us know!

Need lube? Check out our extensive selection online – flavored, organic, silicone, water-based, hybrid, glides, anal formulas, numbing, and much, much more! Shop here: The RedDoor Lotions & Potions!

Penis Size: Does it matter?

There’s been a lot of talk about penis size in the news lately. This is thanks to recent research that indicates women prefer bigger penises and that penis size affects attractiveness. In other words, the research found that a bigger dick makes a man more attractive to women. But before we label all women “Size Queens”, let’s take a minute to be real…

To begin with, the average erect penis ranges in size from 4.7 to 6.3 inches. Research shows that 85% of women are satisfied with that amount. “Satisfied” is the key word here. The majority of us are OK with average penises. Who is not satisfied with penis size? MEN. In the same research study, it was found that only 45% of men are happy with their penis size. So, my question is: Who is really more concerned with penis size? Not women, but men!!

So what are most women really concerned with when it comes to penises? In one word – girth. In several research studies, it was found that women actually prefer thickness over length. In one study, it was shown that women achieve vaginal orgasm much easier with greater penis girth. Why might this be? More girth means greater pressure against the g-spot. The g-spot is packed full of erogenous nerves and provides a large amount of sexual stimulation when rubbed or pressed. So, a penis with average to above average girth is going to be a girl’s best friend.

From experience, I agree with this theory. I prefer a penis that’s about 6-7 inches long, but that is above average in girth. I am not talking Coke can girth, but more juicy cucumber girth. Why? Greater girth provides more sensation and fullness. You can have a long dick. But if it’s pencil thin, it’s not going to be pleasurable to me. It’s not going to hit all the good spots. I don’t know about other women, but I don’t consider my cervix to be a good spot. It can be uncomfortable for a penis to hit it repeatedly. But, my g-spot? That’s an AWESOME spot… and only a penis with decent girth is going to rub that sucker!

Need further convincing? Let me tell you some of the reasons why I personally don’t like really huge dicks…

1. I like anal… and if you have a BIG dick, that’s a no-go! Anyone with well above average length or girth can just stay away from my back door. Why? Despite what porn says, having a huge thing shoved in your ass isn’t all that pleasant. That’s right – big dicks make anal too painful for the average woman. The rectum is not stretchy like the vagina. There’s only so much you can get in there without tearing, bleeding, or other not so fun kinds of damage.
2. Girl on top… This position becomes difficult with larger dicks because there’s only so deep you can go. The average vagina is only about 3-4 inches deep. If you have an 8″ penis, I cannot sit on that. It’s more like I have to hover over it. Think about it. It’s just not all that pleasurable for me.
3. Blowjobs… Yes, some people like to be gagged when giving head. In fact, I sometimes like to be gagged when giving head. But, the average mouth has a depth of only 4″. So when giving a blowjob to a huge dick, you can only take so much into your mouth. And I personally don’t want 4″ of cock being shoved down my throat. That’s too much gag!!! Plus, you’ll get lockjaw.

Maybe you are a man with average length and girth. Maybe you are not entirely convinced that it’s ok, that women will be satisfied with your package.  You may be asking yourself: “what can I do with my average penis?” The answer is… EVERYTHING! If you are a man of average length and girth, count yourself lucky. The skies the limit. Your penis will work well for oral, vaginal, and anal!

And one final thought… Only 20% of women experience vaginal orgasms. Why is this important? Because while we enjoy intercourse, the best way to make us happy is through other means than your penis. Your penis may be huge. But if you can’t make us cum, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how big your dick is…

 

 

 

Sizzling Summer Sex Tips!

Check out our top 10 sex tips for sizzling Summer fun!

1. At a party with friends? At the local pool? Sneak off with your lover to the bathroom for a quickie or some fooling around. You don’t have to go all the way to keep things hot. Get each other revved up, then save the rest for when you’re all alone.
2. Try one of our warming or cooling lubes. The warming sensation will create fireworks between the two of you. The tingling, cooling sensation will add a thrilling chill to the heat of the moment.
3. Streak! That’s right – strip down to nothing and run! The feeling of being naked in public can be exhilarating. And, being naked increases your libido!
4. Don’t want to be naked in public? Stay indoors all day… in the buff! Make it a clothes-free day at home and let things heat up whenever and wherever you want!
5. Too hot for the pool? Have some fun in the shower or bath. We carry an extensive line of Sex in the Shower products, including wall attachments, vibrating loofas, and waterproof lubes. We also carry some fantastic, 100% water submersible toys by Jimmy Jane and We-Vibe.
6. Want to cool things down? Try one of our glass toys that’s been chilled in the freezer! Want to heat things up? Drop the glass toy in a hot water!
7. Be the master of CHILL! Keep a spray bottle filled with ice water next to the bed, and give each other a spritz! Aim for nerve-packed areas like the nipples, the back of the neck, the inner thighs, the tailbone, or the backs of your knees.
8. DRINK! Alcohol naturally loosens your inhibitions!! Don’t drink? Try one of our tropical flavored lubes, massage oils, body gels, or lickable dusters! From pina colada to tropical pineapple, we have just the flavor to mix things up!
9. Ice, ice, baby… That’s right – experiment with ice! Or, keep it sweet with a popsicle or some ice cream. Dab small amounts onto places you’d like to lick or be licked!
10. Want things to get really HOT? Turn off the AC! Sweating allows you to release your natural pheromones. Don’t want to do it the old-fashioned way? Try one of our  pheromone infused body products!

The Best Sex Advice You’ll Ever Get…

Being in this business, I get asked a lot of questions. People ask me advice on everything – from which lubes to buy to how to dominate your partner. In my discussions with customers, I tend to offer a lot of unsolicited advice as well. See, my job is not just to sell you a dildo or a blow-up doll for your bachelor party. My job also requires me to be a sex therapist of sorts. So, I give a lot of input on how to make your sex life better, whether you want the advice or not! Here’s some of the wisdom I have dropped over time…

MY ADVICE FOR WOMEN (Men, you should read this, too!):

1. Never fake an orgasm. Never. You are not doing yourself any favors by faking it. Your partner will never learn how to please you if you are constantly pretending to orgasm!

2. And on that note… Don’t pretend to like something you don’t. If you do not like what your partner is doing, do not pretend to enjoy it. Instead tell your lover what you DO like, or what would feel better instead.

3. To drive my point home, communicate. Very few people in the world are psychic. No one can read your mind. So, talk to your partner. Tell them what makes you feel good, what you like, what you want to try, what your boundaries are, what turns you off.

4. Accept that most orgasms require clitoral stimulation… and time. Once you accept this, work with your partner on how YOU want to achieve orgasm – manually, orally, with a toy, or combining hands/toys/intercourse.

5. Don’t be scared to try anal. Even the smallest plug can add great pleasure – for women and MEN! If your lover is a man and wants to try prostate stimulation, don’t freak out! Female and male rectum both have erogenous nerve endings that can provide a ton of stimulation. Want to learn more? Read here.

6. Buy lube and use it. You may be the wettest of the wet, but you still need lube. Lube enhances manual play by minimizing friction. Same rule applies to toys. You always want to use a good lube with your toys to minimize friction and irritation. And, if you do try anal, using lots of lube greatly reduces the potential for discomfort.

7. Be adventurous. It’s ok to try new things. Don’t be scared of the things your partner wants to try. They are asking YOU to try it. They want to do it with YOU. Take that as a sign that they ENJOY having sex with you, and feel comfortable enough to share their fantasies.

8. Always, ALWAYS use protection with someone you don’t know. People lie. End of story. Nothing ruins a hot one-night-stand like a case of herpes. No amount of sex is worth risking your health! Practice safe sex until you both have been tested.

 

MY ADVICE FOR MEN:

1. See #1 through # 8 above. All of that applies to you, too!!!

2. Slow down. Sex should not be a race to orgasm. Sex should be about finding mutual satisfaction with your lover. I know this may sound like a radical idea, but it’s true. Slow down and make sure your partner is enjoying themselves!

3. Don’t be offended when your partner tells you what they need. If someone is willing to communicate with you about sex, it means they still want to have sex with you AND make it better! Better sex is never a bad thing. Trust me.

 

And what’s the last piece of advice I have for you? Stay sexy, shop RedDoor.

 

 

 

The Art of Sexless Sex

Let me paint a picture for you… Late night, stars out, bubbling hot tub, cocktail in hand, music playing, no one around. Bathing suit comes off, hands start roaming… and my clit is directed to a jet IN one of the seats (thank you to the genius who thought THAT up). I’m being kissed and my nipples are being pinched, sucked on, and teased. And before I know it, I’m collapsing against his chest, completely satisfied and exhausted… I just had sexless sex with my partner – completely satisfying, intense, and intimate.

This may not be a news flash to most of my readers, but… Sex doesn’t have to include penetration. The misconception that “real” sex requires intercourse just isn’t true! Great sex can come in many shapes, sizes, colors, sexual orientations, positions… and can be completely non-intercourse related! This is what I call “sexless sex”, having sex without intercourse. These forms of sex can be so mid-blowing that we all should try more sexless sex and erotic play!

So, this blog is all about skipping the penetration! It’s about delving deeper into sexual play and creating greater intimacy with your partner. It’s about creating a sensual environment where both of you can try new things and practice other erotic activities. It’s about finding sexual satisfaction without needing penetration. And here are some ideas for you to try…

• For him, use a warming lube and both hands. Grip his cock between your palms and use a twisting motion as you slide up and down.
  Or, grab a masturbation toy, load it up with a warming lube, and jerk him off.
• Don’t want to do the work? Let him rub his own cock with his hands or the toy while you tease his nipples and/or prostate.
• For her, use a cooling lube to finger her clit and pussy. The extra tingle will heighten her pleasure.
• Or, grab a g-spot vibrator and fuck her with it while you tease her ass and/or clit.
• Grab a suction-cup dong and attach it to a chair or wall. Have her fuck it while she gives you a hand-job or sucks your dick.
• Position yourselves in a 69, where you are laying on your sides. Lick and suck each other. Use your hands on each other. Hell, throw in some toys, too, for the ultimate 69!
• Read an erotic story out loud to each other, masturbating as you read. You can mix it up by taking turns touching each other, and then only touching yourselves.
• Have your partner videotape you pleasing yourself. Then, watch it together while you partner takes a turn getting off.
• If you don’t have a hot tub, jump in the shower. Use the shower head to pleasure her.
• For him, use the shower head to stimulate his prostate as he jerks off. Or, have him hold the shower head over his cock as you jerk him off.
• Grab a vibrating sponge and lather each other into a passion.
• Take a hot bath together. Hold her in your arms and position her clit against the warm water filling the tub. Tease her nipples as she gets off. Then, have her return the favor with a blow-job or hand-job, as you sit back and relax.
• Grab a sensual massage oil and give each other sensual massages with happy endings.
• Take turns giving each other oral. Or, spend time in a 69, only allowing tongues and mouths to do the work!
• Manually stimulate each other through your clothes in a very public place.
• Grab some lube and grind up against each other. Allow him to rub his cock between your breasts, butt cheeks, or vaginal lips until he comes. For her, rub the head of his cock against your clit, or jump on top and grind your pussy on his hard dick.
• Even if you are in the same house, try having phone sex. Or, jump on your laptops and face cams. Set them up so you can each see the other person masturbating. Then, masturbate to a real-time porno by your lover!

As you can see, foreplay does not have to be the appetizer. It can be the MAIN COURSE. There are TONS of ways to have sex without penetration. I have just given you a few ideas to get you started. The key is to be creative. And, not only will sexless sex allow you to have amazing orgasms, it’s a great way to be closer to your lover. It facilitates intimacy and conversation, two of the keys to a fulfilling sex life. Want to give it a try? Declare a week of lovemaking that’s entirely dedicated to sexless sex! You won’t be disappointed.

 

Bringing your sexy back!

I’ll admit it… a few months ago, I did not feel sexy at all. Yes, me, the sex shop blogger. In the past year, I’ve gained about 20 pounds thanks to a pretty stressful change in my career. I am a curvy girl and usually embrace my body with confidence and joy. But, I’ve felt sluggish due to a lack of exercise. I am just so very busy! And well, lacking the time to care for yourself, plus a general state of exhaustion, doesn’t do much for your self-esteem.

On top of that, I experienced a pretty big break-up. The break-up had me questioning my self-worth, as break-ups often do. Hey, I’m human… AND a woman!! It happens. Afterwards, I went out on a lot of disappointing dates. Yes, I had rebound sex with a few of them. But, the sex was LAME. We’re talking so bad you’re not sure if you should laugh or cry. Conclusion? Rebound sex hasn’t done much for my self-esteem either. I could pinch myself for stooping so low! YUCK! Again, I’m human. It happens.

So, there I was, not feeling sexy at all. And let me tell you – It’s hard to inspire others to have a healthy sex life when you yourself are not feeling all that sexy. I had to do something. Somehow, I had to get my sexy back. And you know what? I did and it’s paid off. I am enjoying my body more. I have more swivel in my hips. My boobs feel perkier. My lips seem more kissable. And most of all, I am enjoying sex again! (It turns out that not all dates are disappointing). I am having fun with my partner and feel sexy, sexual, and sensual. Here’s what had to happen:

1. I decided to stop online dating – Have you ever tried online dating? It’s a sexiness killer. It’s a meat market. And if you’re not the prime cut, you’re the chopped liver. All books are judged by their cover. So, I took myself off the shelf. Why on Earth should I let a bunch of shallow men determine my worth? I’ve known all along that I am sexy, curves and all. I truly believe sexiness comes from within!! It’s all in the attitude. But, I had let a bunch of strangers convince me otherwise. So, I took my sexy back and vowed never again to let other people determine my sex appeal.

2. I decided to be myself… relentlessly – Again, this is something I have been very good about doing in the past. Being comfortable in your own skin is sexy. But, I had forgotten how empowering it is… and how freeing! When you don’t give a flying fuck about what others think of you, your confidence improves. Trust me.

3. I faked it until I felt it – I wasn’t 100% sure that I believed all the self-hype. I am a woman. And let’s face it, women tend to be insecure. So, I decided to pretend to be sexy until I believed I was sexy.

4. As part of #3, I decided to dress the part – I bought new bras and panties in pretty, flattering colors. For some reason, sexy underwear really makes me feel sexy, even if no one else ever sees it. I also bought some sexy shoes. I made of point of looking “cute” as much as possible, accentuating the things that make me sexy – my eyes, breasts, hips, and legs. I made a point of wearing make-up every day. I painted my toes in sexy colors and kept my feet pedicured. I made sure my nails were manicured, too. Now, I am not saying I did this every day, just as much as possible. Why? If I look sexy, I’LL FEEL SEXY!

5. And finally, I did a little self-love – I had forgotten how to express my sexual needs in my last relationship. This made sex very unsatisfying. Plus, when you don’t feel sexy, you don’t really want to have sex anyways. So recently, I decided to make a point of pleasing myself whenever possible. I touched my own breasts. I took the time to pleasure myself, make myself feel sexual and satisfied. I took back the power of pleasure, from something I expected others to give me, to instead something I should claim for myself. I regained my voice in the bedroom.

However, maybe you’re not a single woman rediscovering her sexiness. Maybe you’re in a relationship and things are stale. Perhaps you’re in a relationship and just feeling blah. All of the same rules above apply!

• Stop worrying about what others think! If, you’re partner wants to have sex with you. That’s all that matters.
• And, don’t compare yourself to others. It’s just a self-destructive way to highlight your flaws.
• Be yourself… extra weight, wrinkles, and all! No one is perfect. We all have physical flaws. Don’t let them stop you from being sexy, or enjoying sex. If you wait until you are perfect, you’re never going to have sex again!
• Fake it until you make it. In other words, have sex even if you don’t really want to. The more you have sex with your partner, the more you’ll begin to want it again.
• Ditch the sweats. Put a little effort into your appearance. Also, admire you own body and accentuate the parts you love.
• Buy sexy lingerie that highlights those areas. Flattering, new lingerie or sexy boxer can go a long way to boosting your internal sexiness.
• Exercise… you may not instantly become a super model. But, you will have more energy and stamina.
• Masturbate… because it feels good and teaches you what you need to orgasm.
• Then, tell your partner what you need to orgasm. Just explaining it to them can be enough to make them want to rip your clothes off!
• Ditch the distractions. Spend a day without TV, radios, the laptop, even the kids! Just spend a day delighting in your partner’s company.
• Be naked a lot. Get comfortable being naked. Learn to enjoy the feel of your own skin. Love your lumps, curves, and dimples. Once you’re ok with your naked body, you’ll ooze sexiness!
• Take naked pictures of yourself, even if it’s just of your favorite area, and send them to your partner. The reaction you get will confirm your sexiness.

I promise if you follow my advice, you’ll get your sexy back soon. You just have to remember that sexiness is something that comes from within you. It’s something you have to nurture. If you neglect your sexiness, it shows. Take time to do things for yourself, harnessing your inner sexy beast. You are sexy! Just believe it!

Need more ideas? Check out our selection of lingerie, toys, and pleasure gels to get you in a sexy mood!

Yes, HARDER! (or my thoughts on pleasure and pain)

Believe it or not, there is a “Kinky Scale” when it comes to BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism). The scale was created by Dr. Charley Ferrer in 2007. Dr. Ferrer developed the scale to “provide a general idea of where [someone falls] within the world of dominance and submission.” (bdsmwriterscon.com, Oct. 22, 2013)  It ranges from 0 to 6, 0 being the most “vanilla” and 6 being the most “kinky” (see scale below).

Kinky Scale: 0 to 6

• 0 – Totally vanilla, no desires nor dreams/fantasies
• 1 – Dreams/fantasizes about it but doesn’t interact
• 2 – Interacts in it, whether Dominant or submissive, on a compartmentalized basis
• 3 – Fully embraces BDSM as part of their relationship and over 50% of their interpersonal/intimate relationships have a BDSM foundation/component (mixing D/s & vanilla)
• 4 – 24/7 Master/slave interactions with their partner (over 75-80% of their interaction is D/s though vanilla interactions may be mixed in.)
• 5 – Extreme BDSM practices (edge play)
• 6 — Criminal sadist

To read more about the scale, click here.

If I had to pick a hard and fast number on the Kinky Scale, I would call myself a “2”. For the most part, I prefer the submissive role and like to keep my BDSM play confined to the bedroom. I like relenting, releasing control, being told what to do… in the bedroom! I don’t want to be a slave, however. I don’t have the patience to completely submit. I am what some of my Dom friends call a “brat”. I was once in a relationship where I was more of a “3”, but it didn’t work for me in the long run. I prefer my BDSM as a bedroom activity, but not much more.

When it comes to the S&M (Sadomasochism) part of BDSM, I would also say that I am a “2”, bordering on a “3”. I enjoy pain more than most people. I can actually tolerate quite a bit of pain. But, I am not actively seeking pain. And, I don’t want to do anything that could really bruise me or break my skin and make me bleed.  For example, I like to be spanked and man-handled. I like a firm bite that makes me wince, but not bleed. I like having my hair pulled on pretty hard. I don’t mind the pain of anal. And, I even don’t mind being belted, paddled, or flogged… just hard enough to make me notice and wince, but not hard enough to make me use a “safe word”.

In the past year, I became single after ending my “3” relationship of four years. I began the wild and not-so-wonderful world of dating. And, I decided to be frank about what I like and want and need. I am almost 40 years old. At this point, you just have to be yourself! Why waste time pretending to be someone you’re not? Why waste time on someone who isn’t going to give you what you want and need? It makes no sense. So, I embarked on dating with the intent to be as honest as possible about my sexual preferences without coming off as being crazy.

What I discovered was most men my age are solid 0’s when it comes to BDSM. They had no interest in or desire to try anything related to BDSM. Occasionally, I’ve met a few 1’s. They like to think about spanking or dominating a woman, but perhaps have been too scared to try. Or, maybe they just haven’t found the right woman with which to experiment. However, whenever I tell them about my BDSM likes, 0’s and 1’s alike always have 2 responses: they’d feel uncomfortable hurting someone, and they want to know why I like it.

Let me address the first statement… Do not feel uncomfortable with hurting me. I am asking you to hurt me. I WANT you to hurt me. And sometimes, I NEED you to hurt me to get me off. When I say “harder”, I mean “HARDER” and I will let you know if it’s too hard. I promise you that if you are doing anything outside of my comfort-zone, I will let you know immediately. Furthermore, I am not going to just jump into this. I want to get to know anyone before I let them experiment with me. I want to have conversations about it, so that we are both on the same page. We’re never going to do something if I don’t know you and trust you. If I trust you to hurt me, then know that it’s OK.

As for why I like it… I honestly don’t have a clear answer. Nothing happened to me as a child that caused me to have deep psychological issues where I desire punishment. It’s not that. I don’t really want to be punished, anyways. I think it’s just that I am a sensual person. I like anything to do with the senses. I like color and sound, art and music. I love tastes and smells, decadent foods and luxury perfumes. I like touch, sensual and soft, or hard and quick. So for me, a fast, hard smack on the ass ignites my senses. It lights up my body and keys me in to all the sensations of sex. A strong pull of my hair makes me hyper-aware that you’re thrusting inside me from behind. In other words, the pain heightens my pleasure. I don’t think that’s so hard to understand. All that aside, it’s just fun for me. I like to keep things interesting in the bedroom. I like variety. So, throwing in some BDSM every now and then adds the spice I need.

And, sometimes… I am just a naughty girl who needs a spanking. 😉

 

May is for Masturbation Challenge!

International Masturbation Day is an annual event celebrated on May 7th to protect the right to masturbate. The first National Masturbation Day was first observed on May 7th, 1995. It was created in honor of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was fired by President Bill Clinton for suggesting masturbation be a part of sex education curriculum for students. Since then, International Masturbation Day has been expanded to include the entire month of May, known as International Masturbation Month!

At the RedDoor, we love masturbation! We encourage you to celebrate International Masturbation Month as often as possible during the month of May. Why? Whether you’re single, or just need a little alone time without your partner, masturbation is a great way to release sexual energy. Aside from being fun, masturbation has also be proven to be good for you! It can boost your immunity, relieve stress, help with sexual function, and may even reduce risks of cancer. For some great tips on masturbation, click here.

And in honor of International Masturbation Month, here’s a fun Masturbation Challenge to inspire and stimulate you! See how many you can check off the list…

• Masturbate to porn
  Masturbate in the shower
• Masturbate in the car
• Masturbate at work
• Masturbate without your hands
• Masturbate outside
• Masturbate with someone watching
• Masturbate using an anal toy
• Masturbate at a party
• Masturbate in the bathroom of a restaurant
• Masturbate in the bathroom of a bar
• Masturbate first thing in the morning before getting up
• Masturbate while reading erotica
• Masturbate in the kitchen
• Masturbate laying next to some who’s masturbating
• Masturbate, record a video, and send it to your partner
• Masturbate with a vibrating toy
• Masturbate with the shower head
• Masturbate, but don’t cum
• Masturbate with your underwear on
• Masturbate with your clothes on
• Masturbate to a nude magazine
• Masturbate to a picture of your favorite star
• Masturbate with a warming lube or gel
• Masturbate with a cooling lube or gel
• Masturbate with a pillow

Got a idea for the challenge? Comment below! Need inspiration? Visit the RedDoor online!

 

The Art of Sensual Massage

Want to bring a new level of romance and intimacy to your love life? Give a sensual massage to your partner!

Sensual massages are sexier and more intimate than a typical massage. They can really set the scene for an erotic, special, relaxing and intimate evening. Setting the mood, learning some basic massage techniques, and having a willingness to experiment can all go a long way in creating intimacy and sensuality when giving your partner a massage.

So, take the time to enhance your love-life with these tips for turning a regular rub-down into a sensual massage.

1. Drape the bed – Massage oil stains. So, I suggest investing in a Liberator Fascinator Throe. These supremely plush, washable throws are specially designed to slurp up love juices, lubes, lotions, and any other leftovers of sexual play. Don’t want to go this route? Buy an expensive, long, yet plush beach towel to drape across the bed. BUT, make sure it’s a solid color and super soft!

2. Pick out a quality massage oil – We carry a large selection of massage oils – organic, scented, warming, flavored/edible, and lubricating. Decide what would work best for your intimate ideas and your partner’s skin. Make sure you buy more than you may actually need; the more you have, the more sensual the massage experience! For our selection of massage oils online, click here.

3. Create ambience – It’s hard to feel romantic when there’s laundry on the floor. Take the time to clean up the bedroom and make the bed. I also suggest dimming the lights or lighting some candles. If you’re feeling really romantic, sprinkle rose petals across the bed. Finally, set the mood with a mellow, yet sexy playlist for your iPod.

4. Follow basic massage techniques – You can read up on different types of massage and strokes. But, learning the basics can go a long way. Here are a few basic tips to follow:

• Warm the oil in your hands by pouring a small amount in your palms and lightly rubbing them together.
• Then, spread the oil over the skin using smooth strokes to prepare the skin for the massage.
• Use long languid strokes to work knots and to help relax the muscles.
• Decide where you will begin. A traditional approach is to begin with the back, buttocks and back of the legs, then work on the feet, front of the legs and progress up the body. Finish with the face and head.
• Always completely finish one area of the body before moving on to the next.
• Try not to talk. Keeping it quiet is part of the relaxing, sensuous atmosphere you’re aiming to create.

5. Communicate your desires – Before starting the massage, talk about what you both want out of it. If this is for intimacy, keep the massage about touching and creating closeness. Leave the erotic touches for later. You can take turns giving each other massages, then shower up together afterwards. I promise you’ll feel amazingly connected. If you’re in this for eroticism, touch all the erogenous zones as part of your massage… but do so slowly and with intent! Don’t rush things. Delight in the sensation of touch. Make each stroke slow and purposeful – lingering, grazing, lightly pinching, etc. The slow build of passion makes a sensual massage all that much better!