Let me paint a picture for you… Late night, stars out, bubbling hot tub, cocktail in hand, music playing, no one around. Bathing suit comes off, hands start roaming… and my clit is directed to a jet IN one of the seats (thank you to the genius who thought THAT up). I’m being kissed and my nipples are being pinched, sucked on, and teased. And before I know it, I’m collapsing against his chest, completely satisfied and exhausted… I just had sexless sex with my partner – completely satisfying, intense, and intimate.
This may not be a news flash to most of my readers, but… Sex doesn’t have to include penetration. The misconception that “real” sex requires intercourse just isn’t true! Great sex can come in many shapes, sizes, colors, sexual orientations, positions… and can be completely non-intercourse related! This is what I call “sexless sex”, having sex without intercourse. These forms of sex can be so mid-blowing that we all should try more sexless sex and erotic play!
So, this blog is all about skipping the penetration! It’s about delving deeper into sexual play and creating greater intimacy with your partner. It’s about creating a sensual environment where both of you can try new things and practice other erotic activities. It’s about finding sexual satisfaction without needing penetration. And here are some ideas for you to try…
- For him, use a warming lube and both hands. Grip his cock between your palms and use a twisting motion as you slide up and down.
Or, grab a masturbation toy, load it up with a warming lube, and jerk him off.
- Don’t want to do the work? Let him rub his own cock with his hands or the toy while you tease his nipples and/or prostate.
- For her, use a cooling lube to finger her clit and pussy. The extra tingle will heighten her pleasure.
- Or, grab a g-spot vibrator and fuck her with it while you tease her ass and/or clit.
- Grab a suction-cup dong and attach it to a chair or wall. Have her fuck it while she gives you a hand-job or sucks your dick.
- Position yourselves in a 69, where you are laying on your sides. Lick and suck each other. Use your hands on each other. Hell, throw in some toys, too, for the ultimate 69!
- Read an erotic story out loud to each other, masturbating as you read. You can mix it up by taking turns touching each other, and then only touching yourselves.
- Have your partner videotape you pleasing yourself. Then, watch it together while you partner takes a turn getting off.
- If you don’t have a hot tub, jump in the shower. Use the shower head to pleasure her.
- For him, use the shower head to stimulate his prostate as he jerks off. Or, have him hold the shower head over his cock as you jerk him off.
- Grab a vibrating sponge and lather each other into a passion.
- Take a hot bath together. Hold her in your arms and position her clit against the warm water filling the tub. Tease her nipples as she gets off. Then, have her return the favor with a blow-job or hand-job, as you sit back and relax.
- Grab a sensual massage oil and give each other sensual massages with happy endings.
- Take turns giving each other oral. Or, spend time in a 69, only allowing tongues and mouths to do the work!
- Manually stimulate each other through your clothes in a very public place.
- Grab some lube and grind up against each other. Allow him to rub his cock between your breasts, butt cheeks, or vaginal lips until he comes. For her, rub the head of his cock against your clit, or jump on top and grind your pussy on his hard dick.
- Even if you are in the same house, try having phone sex. Or, jump on your laptops and face cams. Set them up so you can each see the other person masturbating. Then, masturbate to a real-time porno by your lover!
As you can see, foreplay does not have to be the appetizer. It can be the MAIN COURSE. There are TONS of ways to have sex without penetration. I have just given you a few ideas to get you started. The key is to be creative. And, not only will sexless sex allow you to have amazing orgasms, it’s a great way to be closer to your lover. It facilitates intimacy and conversation, two of the keys to a fulfilling sex life. Want to give it a try? Declare a week of lovemaking that’s entirely dedicated to sexless sex! You won’t be disappointed.